Gwen Stefani Is Pregnant With Blake Shelton’s Baby
Gwen Stefani Is Pregnant With Blake Shelton’s Baby


Blake Shelton has Gwen Stefani wearing camo in public. He’s blown inside this more than once. #staywoke

A source tells In Touch Weekly that the mother-of-three, 46, is pregnant by the 39-year-old country crooner! “Gwen is pregnant,” the source exclusively tells In Touch, in the new issue on newsstands now. “She and Blake are overjoyed. He’s always wanted to have kids and now his dream is coming true.”

Gwen Stefani already has three kids but you can’t tell, and Blake Shelton has none even though Miranda Lambert looks like she’s had at least five, so I guess that’s why he chose to get Gwen pregnant. Also, multiple sources have confirmed that Stefani will give birth on the hood of a truck that’s parked by a river.


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NBC Made Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Make A Breakup Contingency Plan
NBC Made Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Make A Breakup Contingency Plan


 We can ignore the fact that Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton filed for divorce 14 days apart. We can ignore the fact that Gwen Stefani filed because “she believedGavin Rossdale was cheating on her, but had zero evidence. We can ignore the fact that Stefani is now saying Rossdale was a “control freak” even though her paranoia demanded that he not go on tour. So he didn’t. We can ignore that fact that Stefani quickly settled her divorce less than two weeks before she and Shelton went public with their relationship through a publicist’s statement and a live television event for maximum exposure. And we can ignore the fact Rossdale ain’t buying this bullshit either. However, we can talk about how the apparently Seal Team Six planned and expertly coordinated relationship that ruined two marriages now is required to have plan to protect NBC’s brand and ensure continued ratings success for The Voice.

“The studio bosses sat them down last week after they confirmed that they were dating to discuss the whole situation and what would happen in the event that they broke up,” said the source. “The execs even discussed adding a breakup clause to their contracts. Luckily, “Gwen and Blake assured them that, if it does not work out, they will break up on amicable terms because neither of them wants to jeopardize the show,” the insider added.

Nothing really matters what I said in the intro, because people want what they want and this kinda stuff just happens. All I’ve heard about Blake Shelton is that he’s funny and the complete opposite of Rossdale, and that’s pretty much all a dude has to be when a woman is looking for fresh D. I just feel bad for Adam Levine. Now he’s gotta act shocked and concerned whenever he runs into Gavin Rossdale and Miranda Lambert. Bitch, you knew.


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Blake Shelton Is Dating Gwen Stefani

So, the rumors were pretty much true. Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are dating.

“Gwen and Blake are longtime friends who have very recently started dating,” Stefani’s spokesperson, who would not comment further, tells Us.

Hey, remember that time Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani filed for divorce 14 days apart? I would type more, but I just got an ice coffee and I’m going to sip that instead.

 

 

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Gwen Stefani Is Probably Banging Blake Shelton

Last month, Gwen Stefani filed for divorce from Gavin Rossdale because she decided in her head that he was cheating on her. She doesn’t really know. Two months ago, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert split because he decided in his head that she was cheating on him. He doesn’t really know. So I guess one day on The Voice they decided to bang each other. We don’t really know.

The on-set source says, “There is definitely something going on with the two of them now. Blake and Gwen are being very flirty both on and off set.” “At first they were just bonding over the fact that they were both going through divorces at the same time,” the insider tells Radar. “That turned into an even closer friendship between them.” So why the speculation that the two are now romantically involved? According to the source, “Blake and Gwen have been leaving the set together at the end of the workday on several occasions and he invited her out to the bar with him after taping too. Plus, the way that they interact both on-camera and off-camera is undeniably flirty.”

Working with someone used to to be what Tinder turned into an app, so I guess this kinda makes sense. She was vulnerable, Blake was nice, they talked, they bonded over a shared experience, they banged, Gwen drank the blood of newborn to not look 45. Pretty standard stuff.

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Yeah So, Um, Miranda Lambert Is Pregnant

Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert filed for divorce because Blake Shelton said she was cheating. Then Miranda Lambert said he was cheating. It’s all very confusing. What’s not confusing is how babies are made. And somebody put a baby in Miranda Lambert because Miranda Lambert is pregnant. It’s supposedly Blake’s baby, because nothing goes better with constant arguing and resentment than sex. So either Blake cheated then got Miranda pregnant, or Miranda cheated and got pregnant by a player to be named later. This is pretty much all you need to know about country music. That and the fact it has a lot of songs about hanging out around rivers.

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Miranda Lambert Is Single

If you want to know how boring today is, this is post about Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton. Google is your friend?

Blake Shelton filed for divorce because he believed Miranda Lambert was unfaithful, not once but twice … TMZ has learned.  Multiple sources familiar with the situation tell us … Blake has suspected Miranda was living out a country cheating song for months. We’re told Blake heard rumors Miranda had hooked up with country singer Chris Young and thought it was believable enough to make him suspicious of her.  Young opened for Miranda a few years ago, and the 2 were spotted out publicly from time to time. But our sources say Chris was NOT the catalyst for the divorce. It was another guy, who is not a country singer.

The good news is if you like insecure “real” women, Miranda Lambert is single. Only problem being that she’ll blow other dudes while using your HBO Go login. Other than that, I guess their lawyers have to figure out who gets to put all this on their net album.

 

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The Gays Have A New Enemy

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Last night, country singer and judge on NBC’s American Idol In Swivel ChairsThe Voice, Blake Shelton, tweeted these reworked lyrics to Shania Twain’s hit Any Man of Mine. Withing hours, the Gay Police put on satin hotpants and a cutoff police shirt tied in the front then took out a bedazzled baton to do what they normally do: Make 14 characters fit into their agenda then demand an apology. GLAAD says in an open letter.

“This is one of the judges on what’s so far been one of the most gay-friendly reality shows on television. For him to make a joke to his 300-thousand-plus followers about leaving a gay man ‘beaten, bleeding and heaving’ is completely unacceptable.” “Blake Shelton needs to recognize that violence against the LGBT community is not a laughing matter, and he needs to apologize to his fans, and to fans of The Voice, for his comments,” GLAAD’s post continues.

Okay, before you read Blake’s response and the actual reason for the tweet, please tell me where in that banner pic is a homophobic sociopath ready to murder a homosexual. Please. Because, if a man puts his hand on a woman’s ass, he should fully expect to be slapped. And if a man grabs another man’s ass, he should fully expect to have several of his teeth in his pocket while giving a statement to the police. Make sense? It does? Okay, take it away, Blake:

“Hey y’all allow me to seriously apologize for the misunderstanding with the whole re-write on the Shania song last night,” he Tweeted Thursday morning. “It honestly wasn’t even meant that way… I now know that their are people out there waiting to jump at everything I say on here or anywhere.” “But when it comes to gay/lesbian rights or just feelings… I love everybody. So go look for a real villain and leave me out of it!!!”

Man, then if the tweet wasn’t Blake’s inner homophobic thoughts of hate and anger spilling out then what was it? Oh, turns out it SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY.

“Blake is so not a homophobe. He really meant that from the perspective on Shania – it was just meant to be a jibe about someone grabbing her *ss. He feels awful.” Shelton Tweeted the controversial statement after watching Twain’s appearance on The Oprah Show where she opened up about her now ex-husband cheating on her with her best friend.

So, as usual, gays get all sanctimonious and start throwing around demands when they jump to conclusions and deem something they read to be offensive. If they put as much effort into taking things at face value and forming logical, rational arguments as they do with memorizing ABBA lyrics and accessorizing, the average American might not have an issue with gay marriage. Get the fuck over yourselves. If you replace any reference to LBGT with abortion and this letter and it sounds like it came from a conservative megachurch in Alabama with a picture of Jesus holding a dove painted on the side. Instead of stalking someone’s Twitter waiting to be offended so you can write a letter, how about taking a Zoloft with your Cosmopolitan and relax. Nobody gives a shit.

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