Blac Chyna Said Rob Kardashian Punched Her While She Was On The Phone With Tyga
Blac Chyna Said Rob Kardashian Punched Her While She Was On The Phone With Tyga

 

I’ve avoided this Blac Chyna/Rob Kardashian mess, because who gives a shit? But I’ve had enough people on Twitter and in my email asking me why I’m not writing about it. Like, I said, who gives a shit. So this post is to make you stop. Long story short, Rob Kardashian, being the only man on Earth who would lose his mind over Blac Chyna, had a baby with the mother of his sister’s boyfriend, because I guess Kris Jenner thought that would be a great plot point. Surprisingly, true love didn’t win in the end, and Rob Kardashian released her nudes and text messages on social media in between ordering from Papa John’s. She then got a restraining order. He also allegedly punched her.

In court documents filed Monday and obtained by Page Six, Chyna describes the father of her infant daughter Dream as a “jealous” man who “has been violent with me in the past.”….She claims that on or around April 8, things quickly escalated as the pair began to argue over his alleged use of foul language in front of her 4-year-old son, King. “I used my phone to call King’s father [Tyga]. Rob immediately grabbed my phone and punched me in the side knocking me to the ground where I landed on my hands and knees,” she claimed. “I was terrified and my legs were hurt,” she continued. “I was sore and had a hard time walking for days.”

I honestly wouldn’t put this past Rob Kardashian, because if there’s anyone who would hate themselves, it’s the only male born into a family where the only commodity is your ass. As soon as Blac Chyna put on that suburban housewife wig and got in front of those cameras with her lawyers, it was all over for Rob. His sisters won’t step in because they might pop their stitches. So yeah, this is my Blac Chyna/Rob Kardashian post.

 

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Blac Chyna Is Having Twins
Blac Chyna Is Having Twins


When constant media coverage your pregnancy is beneficial to your career and who you marry is as equally beneficial to your bank account because that means a reality show, its manna from heaven when you can be as pregnant as possible. So, congratulations, Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian. They’re having twins. Suck it, Aniston.  

Life & Style exclusively revealed that the engaged duo is expecting twins just seven months after going public with their relationship.

It’s 2016, so “Rob Kardashian is the father of twins” shouldn’t come as a shock. We’re all numb to 2016 at this point. At least the twins will always have nice socks. And is Tyga and Kylie get married, their mother will also be their aunt. And their uncle will be their half-brother’s father. That should be good for at least 10 more seasons. Unless Khloe steals one of the babies and takes it to her cave to negotiate a spin-off.


Here’s an attractive member of the family. 


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The Rob Kardashian And Blac Chyna Baby Already Has A Pic On Instagram



Blac Chyna posted the ultrasound of her and Rob Kardashian’s baby on Instagram yesterday, and one has to assume that Kris Jenner’s DMCA complaint was dismissed. Instead, she will have to settle with drinking it’s cord blood to replenish her power, as is the custom, or use it during a uterus cleansing ceremony for Khloe. It also includes the sacrificing of a live goat, then they all do a chant once Khloe finishes feeding. 



Kim might wear something different to the ceremony for practical reasons.

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Rob Kardashian Got Blac Chyna Pregnant
Rob Kardashian Got Blac Chyna Pregnant


Rob Kardashian got Blac Chyna pregnant. So there’s that. Blac Chyna should really try to hold her uterus to a high standard. To recap, her two kids are now half-siblings and first cousins. 

Shortly after finding out that the couple are expecting their first child together, E! News has learned that the pregnant star is due in the fall, and that the pair already know the sex of the baby! But they’re going to announce that little gem of information in their own special way. “They do know the sex of the baby and will reveal it soon enough,” a source tells E! News, adding that the engaged couple, “are so happy about the news. Chyna wanted another baby and said if it happens, it happens.”

“If it happens, it happens”.  lol, yeah ok.  And what was their first move? The same thing every Kardashian does when the doctor lets them hear a new heartbeat. Find a way to monetize it and put it on television. Rob and Tyga are both broke, so Blac Chyna needs Ryan Seacrest to provide this baby. 

Blac Chyna’s fetus is on the verge of becoming a TV star … ’cause her parents are in talks to get a reality show about their new family, TMZ has learned.  Our sources tell us … Chyna and Rob Kardashian have been talking with the network that made the K family a household name — E! — and we’re told the project is on the fast track.  One of our sources tell us the couple ain’t gonna come cheap — we’re told the numbers being thrown around are in the 7-figure range. 

This may be on the fast track, but a lot of things have to happen before this hits the air. Khloe has to drink it’s cord blood before Kris Jenner hits it with a Killing Curse. Depending on the child’s haircut, it could probably still sell protein shakes on Instagram with a lightning bolt scar.  


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Rob Kardashian And Blac Chyna Got Engaged Last Night, This Should Be Fun
Rob Kardashian And Blac Chyna Got Engaged Last Night, This Should Be Fun


Blac Chyna is about to be a Kardashian. Tyga is gonna be an uncle to his own child. What a time to be alive. 

Blac Chyna is one giant step closer to getting jumped in to the krew — Rob Kardashian popped the question Monday night, and they’re engaged to be married. Blac Chyna was sporting a massive diamond ring as she and Rob went out last night to celebrate. Sources close to the couple tell us Rob asked last night and as expected, she said yes. Chyna’s mom is still in town … and all 3 hit up Ace of Diamonds strip club to toast their engagement — which comes after about a little over 2 months of dating.

What wonderful news for the whole family! Such an exciting time!

Interestingly, all of Rob’s family … his mom, sisters and brother-in-laws all boarded a plane and flew out of town yesterday for a family vacay.

Ok, maybe not. At least White Chyna had something on the Internet yesterday. Oh, and the other Kardashian who can have kids had something, too. I guess Kris is gonna have to text Kim to tell her to get naked again soon to mitigate this news. Or have Khloe leak a video of her nightly feeding in woods. Not sure how Mexicans feel about this, but  “African-Armenian” looks to be the largest demographic in Los Angeles by 2150.


White & Blac


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Blac Chyna & Rob Kardashian Got A Porn Offer From Hustler



Khloe Kardashian has been doing everything she can to make Nat Geo bite on her sex tape, but instead, her brother-in-law, Kanye West, has dick pics on the way and got trapped into saying he likes fingers in his ass. To make matters worse, her brother, Rob Kardashian, is now dating her half-sister’s boyfriend’s baby mama, Blac Chyna. Khloe tried to keep Nat Geo’s attention by tweeting shade about Blac Chyna’s arrest on Friday, then Blac Chyna’s mom posted Khloe’s mugshot. It was a bad week all around, and to be honest, I don’t think Nat Geo plans to move forward with this. Somebody who is going forward though is Hustler. Not with Khloe though. Maybe Kris Jenner can pull some strings so Khloe can play the bear in The Revenant 2.

Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna are getting the chance to star in a brand new Kardashian sex tapewith an earning potential of 7 figures. TMZ obtained the letter sent from Hustler honcho, Larry Flynt, to Rob and Blac — asking them to consider shooting a video for the company’s celebrity sex tape division. Flynt says Hustler is looking to be a major player in celebrity porn … and thinks R&B’s fan base will benefit all involved. He promises they could be looking at earnings of a million dollars or more.

If you missed that, TMZ just nicknamed Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna “R&B”.  I think that stands for “ribs & biscuits”. From a business standpoint, it’s unclear how this make sense, because it will probably be expensive to have an ambulance on standby for Rob in case he stands up too fast to reach for the KFC bucket they’ll have to fill up in between takes. From a pure cinematic standpoint, look at Blac Chyna’s butt. Now imagine Rob Kardashian’s fat ass. That cuts out about like, what? 45 positions right there. They won’t be able to use candles, because no insurance company is gonna allow open flames around Rob’s oxygen tank. Seems like there’s too many issues to work out. If I ran Hustler, I’d be camping outside her house until she signed or I was confident enough in my ability to forge her signature.


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Rob Kardashian Is Dating Tyga’s Baby Mama Blac Chyna Now
Rob Kardashian Is Dating Tyga’s Baby Mama Blac Chyna Now


This is my first time seeing pic of Blac Chyna and realizing I’m supposed to be looking at Blac Chyna. I just thought people were talking about Tyson Beckford. They weren’t. They were talking about this Blac Chyna who spells her name “Blac Chyna”. She has a child with Tyga. Tyga is dating Kylie Jenner. Kylie Jenner is Rob Kardashian’s brother. Rob Kardashian is now dating Blac Chyna. LA is a small town, I guess. Or she might have a hookup at GrubHub. 


THE EVIDENCE BELOW: 

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Tyga Gave Kylie Jenner Blac Chyna’s Old Car For Her 18th Birthday

Tyga (25 years) reportedly bought his girlfriend, Kylie Jenner (17 years, 366 days), a new car for her birthday. How sweet.

Kylie Jenner was seeing red for her 18th, courtesy of Tyga, who gave her a spiffy, cherry G-Wagon, which she drove to Nobu during a big Kardashian birthday bash. Tyga went to a dealership Friday afternoon and picked up the fancy Mercedes, which stickers for $115,000. 

And by “Tyga went to a dealership Friday afternoon” they mean “Tyga had the white G-Wagon he once bought for Blac Chyna and had it painted red but kept the same license plate”.  TMZ is now reporting that Kylie was “just driving it” then Kylie made a huge point to say Tyga bought her a new Ferrari instead. Probably with a projector and an Excel spreadsheet and a laser pointer detailing Kylie’s forecasted future earnings now that she has a valid Ho-1B work visa issued by the Jenner Consulate. Qualified applicants must be 18 years of age or older and deny having plastic surgery.

 

 

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