Bill Murray Is A Drug Addict Wife Beater Maybe
Bill Murray Is A Drug Addict Wife Beater Maybe


Not sure if he’ll have a Very Murray Christmas. (via The Smoking Gun)

Bill Murray is a drug-addicted spousal abuser and serial adulterer who has abandoned his family, according to a scathing divorce filing by his estranged wife. Jennifer Murray alleges that the Academy Award-nominated actor’s ‘”adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment” led her in 2006 to move into a separate South Carolina home with the couple’s four children. A copy of Jennifer Murray’s court complaint, which was first reported by Charleston’s The Post & Courier, can be found here. Murray contends that the comedian physically abused her on several occasions during their marriage (they were wed in 1997) and that the star hit her in the face during a November 2007 confrontation in her home. During that incident, the May 12 complaint alleges, the 57-year-old performer “told her she was ‘lucky he didn’t kill her.'” Jennifer Murray charges that the actor would often leave town without telling her, and sometimes “travels overseas where he engages in public and private altercations and sexual liaisons.” She also claims that he “repeatedly…left threatening voice messages on the home telephone which the minor children have heard.”

Hey, guys. Let me start this by saying we had some CMS issues today, but obviously, we’re back up now. Sorry about that. Wait, it wasn’t my fault. Why do I apologize for things that aren’t my fault? I should love myself more. Also, Jennifer Murray, Bill Murray’s estranged ex-wife, says he beat her, threatened to kill her, did a lot of drugs, and banged other chicks while they were married. She also wants to see if she can get more than the $7M their prenup gives her. So feel free to us those two points to draw your own conclusions.  Not sure if all my liberal friends will burn their Bill Murray t-shirts or not. Who knows. Bill Murray t-shirts don’t beat women, Bill Murray beats women. Allegedly. Probably.

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Bill Murray Will Crash Your Kickball Game



Last Sunday, some hipsters were playing kickball in NYC. Bill Murray just walked up and started playing. No arrests were made. Entertainment Weekly reports:

Marina Cockenberg of CollegeHumor posted a photo of Murray posing with the kickball team on her personal Tumblr, and the picture quickly went viral. When we contacted her for details, she directed us toward her friend Chris DiLella — an actual member of the team in question. (He’s the fourth guy from the left, wearing a gray shirt and sunglasses.) DiLella gave us the scoop on what actually happened that fateful afternoon: Around 2 p.m., DiLella and his fellow kickballers were playing a game in a field on New York City’s Roosevelt Island. Murray “popped out of nowhere” and began interacting with the players. “He was bouncing the ball… ran over to second base. Played for a bit… Gave us all high-fives and let us pose with him in the picture,” DiLella explained over email. After the above photo was shot, Murray went over to one of the players’ moms — who was behind the camera — and “picked her up in his arms.” Soon after posing for a second shot, Murray left with “three young boys” — DiLella assumes they were Murray’s sons.

According to the Internet, this is “awesome” and “very cool”, but is it better than the time Nick Lachey crashed my Quidditch game in my diary? Why didn’t the mainstream media cover that?

pic credit = Tumblr

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The Zombieland Cameo



Zombieland is fucking awesome and part of the reason it kicks so much ass is because of the super secret cameo that the everyone tried to protect in their reviews. Oh, did I say secret? Oops, my bad.

Oh, btw, per Nicole’s boyfriend/fiance/husband’s request (not sure which), here’s some pics of Emma Stone. He’s apparently into foreheads. Oh, and model airplanes. I also heard he fingerbanged Jennifer Love Hewitt one time. C’mon, man, have some class!:

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Bill Murray Loves Sex, Booze and Pot



Yesterday, it was revealed that Jennifer Butler-Murray, Bill Murray’s wife of ten years had filed for divorce citing physical abuse and the actor’s drug addiction. Bill Murray must have also had sex with her sister or best friend, because in more details released today, Jennifer Butler-Murray is making damn sure people think he is some sort of fire-breathing dragon. New York Post reports:

In 2006, the plaintiff moved to Sullivan’s Island … due to defendant’s adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addiction [and] frequent abandonment,” reads a complaint written by Butler-Murray’s lawyer, Robert Rosen. But even after the move, the “Lost in Translation” actor, 57, often vanished for days seeking sex and drugs, his soon-to-be ex-wife said. “Defendant would often leave the state or country without telling the plaintiff,” the petition reads. “Defendant travels overseas, where he engages in public and private altercations and sexual liaisons.”

I’m not sure how somebody can be addicted to pot, but whatever. I’m more concerned why this chick hyphenates her name. I’ve searched medical journals and the list of Nobel prize winners and I can’t seem to find the name “Jennifer Butler” anywhere, so I’m pretty sure marrying Bill Murray was the highlight of her life. She could invent a time machine or discover another planet and her obituary would still begin with, “Bill Murray’s ex-wife, Jennifer…”

Billy Murray’s former co-star, Scarlett Johansson, skinny dipping in her new movie:

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Bill Murray Gets Drunk



Bill Murray faces fines or possible jail time after being pulled over by Swedish police on Sunday. Murray, 56, was stopped for driving a golf cart in downtown Stockholm and was then asked to take a breathalyzer test after the officer smelled alcohol. Um, he refused. People reports:

He refused to blow in the [breathalyzer] instrument, citing American legislation,” said Holmlund. “So we applied the old method – a blood test. It will take 14 days before the results are in.” In describing Murray’s allegedly inebriated state, Holmlund said, “There were no obvious signs, like when someone is really tipsy.” Murray, in Sweden to visit a golf tournament, subsequently signed a statement admitting to driving under the influence and agreed to permit a police officer plead guilty on his behalf should the case go to court, Holmlund said. “Then he was let go. My guess is he went back to America,” according Holmlund, who said Murray would only be charged if tests show his blood alcohol level exceeded the legal limit – said to be very low in Sweden….Of the vehicle in question, “It was a golf cart. How it ended up in this predicament I don’t know,” said Holmlund, adding that Murray was not facing any theft charges.”

It’s Sweden, so what’s really the worst that could happen? A stacked blonde in a tight prison outfit will serve him meatballs for a few days? I’d take my chances. In America, that usually runs you about $400 a hour. Or $500 for a non-rushed hour.

Bill Murray at the tournament in Stockholm:

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