Bill Clinton Tried To Bang Anna Nicole Smith
Bill Clinton Tried To Bang Anna Nicole Smith

 

With all the sexual assault allegations being handed out recently, it’s now time to throw Bill Clinton‘s name out there again since he no longer serves any political purpose after his wife dug up his corpse for her failed 2016 run. Like this article (lol). I’ll guess we’ll have to wait until Al Franken and John Conyers retire before they can have their “reckoning”. Say what you will about the GOP and their support of Roy Moore, but at least they’re honest about it. Democrats might be wise to do the same, but of course, they won’t. Anyway, if you haven’t heard, Bill Clinton likes to stick his dick in everything that moves and he isn’t super picky. Take it away Death And Taxes:

Writer-director-producer David Zucker sat down with Gilbert Gottfried and Frank Santopadre for an episode of “Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast” that was released Monday. At the one hour and five minute mark, Zucker discusses a conversation he had with Bill Clinton, who was president at the time Zucker premiered “Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult” at the White House in 1993 because “Bill was a fan of the ‘Naked Guns.’” Zucker told Gottfried and Santopadre about the then-president’s acute interest in one of the film’s stars, the late Anna Nicole Smith.

Bill Clinton then proceeded to be super subtle and not weird at all.

Zucker then told the story about how Clinton cornered him before the screening to inquire about Smith. “She’s the Guess Jeans girl, right?” Zucker said Clinton asked. Zucker confirmed as much, and the president implied he had masturbated to her photo while aboard Air Force One after his aides placed her photo in his room. “They put her fold-out in my stateroom, inside of the door,” the “Airplane!” director said Clinton told him. “I’ve got that glued on smile…and it was years later that I realized that he wanted me to set them up,” Zucker continued. “And I’m such a dope, I could have double-dated with the president.”

I mean, if you’re the President and you can bang 1993 Anna Nicole Smith, go for it. JFK passed around Marilyn Monroe to his friends like a cum sock, but he still got us to the moon and got us out of nuclear war with Russia, so it all depends on what issues are most important to you.

 

1993 for reference:

 

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Bill Clinton Hates Hillary Clinton’s Book
Bill Clinton Hates Hillary Clinton’s Book

 

As we all know, Hillary Clinton lost the United States Presidency to a formre reality show star and sexual predator/racist with a 36% approval rating during election exit polls. She then wrote a book called, What Happened, where she blamed Russia, James Comey, Barack Obama (LOL), the media (LOL the media who said Trump had no chance to win), Bernie Sanders, sexism, white people (she’s white), and as a feminist icon, Hillary Clinton also took a swipe women who didn’t vote her. Because as the first law of feminism states, you have to vote for a woman candidate if you’re a woman (sidenote: I know a Cuban immigrant lesbian EMT lesbian who voted for Trump). Anyway, in his book, All Out War: The Plot to Destroy Trump, author Edward Klein claims Bill Clinton hated the book (via NY Post).

 

Foreward:

 Bill warned Hillary a month before the election that she was losing and that she needed to campaign in the Rust Belt states. “She told him he was delusional,” Klein writes.

Book:

“Before Hillary sent the manuscript to her publisher, she gave it to Bill to read, and he made major changes with a red pencil,” said a close Clinton family friend. “But she refused to even read his corrections, and he got so furious that he tossed the entire manuscript into the garbage.

First epilogue:

“He hated the title because calling it ‘What Happened’ would only make people say, ‘You lost.’ He urged her to postpone the pub date and rewrite the book, but she yelled at him and said, ‘The book is finished and that’s how it’s going to be published.’”

Second epilogue:

“Bill’s criticism — and what Hillary sees as his lack of sympathy — has driven a wedge between them,” the friend said. “They haven’t been speaking for months. They’ve been communicating through friends and lawyers.”

Now we can debate the agenda of Klein all day, but if you read all of the DNC email dumps, this sounds like it could have actually happened.  Bill Clinton laid waste to the popular vote and electoral college twice, but every time Bill raised his hand in class, Hillary and her people would say, “NOBODY ASKED YOU BILL, GAWD STFU.” And fine, we can blame Comey and said the private email server was a Republican witch hunt if you’d like, but hear me out, if Clinton didn’t have a private email server in the first place, this wouldn’t have been a thing. Clinton made it a thing. Oh, and remember when women voted for Barack Obama in 2012 and they got blamed for having “internalized misogyny”? How’d that work out? Look, if you didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton because she’s a woman, that’s for you to figure out. But if you didn’t vote for Hilary Clinton because you didn’t understand why the DNC would prop up an unlikeable establishment candidate with a war and Wall St. record like a white Republican man during a change election year, then maybe that’s something Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party should figure out. Godspeed.

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Hillary Clinton Might Be Bisexual
Hillary Clinton Might Be Bisexual

 

Proving that their is no statute of limitations on scorned woman crazy, Bill Clinton's former sidepiece, Gennifer Flowers, is now saying that Hillary Clinton is bisexual. The Daily Mail reports:

Their 12-year affair made Gennifer Flowers one of the most high profile mistresses in America. Now, two decades after they split amid scandal, the former news reporter from Little Rock, Arkansas wants to ‘sit down and talk’ with Bill Clinton. In an exclusive interview with MailOnline, Gennifer has spoken of her deep regret at turning down Clinton’s pleas to talk some eight years ago and revealed her belief that they would still be together today, were it not the birth of Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea….Gennifer said: ‘I don’t know Huma or the Weiners. I just know what Bill told me and that was that he was aware that Hillary was bisexual and he didn’t care. He should know. 'He said Hillary had eaten more p***y than he had.’

Holy crap. Our current President is a Kenyan Socialist put in place by cyborg Illumunati who won't rest until he provides healthcare for poor people and passes laws that might decrease the chance of you getting shot to death in a Wendy's, and our next President is a Marxist in a pantsuit who whipped her hair at Benghazi and her tongue at vagina. How long before everybody at Fox News starts burning their sets to make fire and voting on a leader based on a death match in a ring of torches?

 

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Bill Clinton Hangs Out With Porn Stars Now

While his wife did important Secretary of State stuff, an increasingly rough looking Bill Clinton hosted a party in Monaco where he helped raise money to save the rainforests… oh and also posed for pictures with two porn stars, Tasha Reign and Brooklyn Lee, who appeared in “Farm Girls Gone Bad” and “Mission Asspossible,” respectively. TMZ has the photos.

Fair play to the former President. This is a man who knows his legacy is forever going to be banging an intern in the Oval Office and he is not going to do anything to try and change that, since it means he wouldn’t get to surround himself with hot and/or slutty women. Nobel Peace Prizes be damned, this is how to conduct yourself once you leave office.

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I Can Haz Euthanasia?

Attention: Socks the cat has been put to sleep.

Former First Cat Socks, one of the world’s most famous felines, died Friday at the age of 20 after battling throat cancer since November. A stray cat rescued by the Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea, Socks lived in the governor’s mansion in Arkansas and later moved with the family to the White House.

Throat cancer? Was the cat smoking the vag-cigars that were hanging around the White House?

The cat was staying at a family friend’s house and eventually had to be put down and buried, then they put him down again after his surprise resurrection, which had more to do with the whole 9 Lives thing than ZOMBIE CATS! (sadly).

Finally, they clubbed him over the head a few times, cremated him and (more…)

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Gina Gershon Still Denies Humping Bill Clinton



As you might have heard, in the Vanity Fair article The Comeback Id, journalist Todd Purdum insinuates that former President Bill Clinton had an affair with actress Gina Gershon. As it turns out, Gina Gershon didn’t appreciate that. In an email to gossip columinst, Liz Smith, Gershon called Purdum a “sleazy liar.” She says:

This makes me sick; this irresponsible journalism! Now it is everywhere, and it’s a complete lie. They never bothered fact-checking or calling anyone. I am sure it’s no accident that this lie was leaked the day before the delegates would vote. I used to love Vanity Fair magazine; now it’s just like those tabloid magazines, only without the good horoscopes!”

However, Vanity Fair denied Gershon’s lawyers’ demand for a retraction and released the following statement to TMZ today:

Todd Purdum’s article does not indicate that former President Bill Clinton had an improper relationship with Gina Gershon. The story merely examines the concerns of some of Clinton’s aides about reports of his behavior. We don’t believe that any correction is warranted.”

Gina Gershon is hot, so for Bill Clinton’s sake, I hope this rumor is true. Because it’s about time his penis got some good publicity. The chicks it’s been in so far look like they should be escaping the circus of being chased by angry villagers. I’m almost positive that when you have sex with Hilary Clinton, the free health clinic gives you a free cyanide capsule.

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