Ariana Grande Paid For Most Of Her And Big Sean’s Dates

When I heard Ariana Grande and Big Sean broke up the skies parted and a beam of light came down from heaven. Oops. sorry. Heaven doesn’t exist. It was just noon and my windows were open. But why did they break up? Because Big Sean wrote a song about her vagina and said he spent a lot of money on her when in reality she paid for everything. Oooh, stand in line, ladies!

Sources connected with Ariana tell us … the last straw was when Sean dropped his track, “Stay Down,” in which he raps:

I ain’t even gonna lie, I got a million dollar chick
With a billion dollar p****y
Every time I c*m, I swear to God I feel like I be rich

We’re told Ariana felt humiliated because Sean was treating her like a piece of meat. Ariana’s grandmother came to her and asked about the lyrics, which was especially embarrassing. But there was plenty of tension leading up to the song. Sean claims she made him pay for all sorts of extravagances. But our Ariana sources say SHE is the one who foot most of the bills, including vacations and private flights.

Look, if your girlfriend is bringing the looks, the vagina, and the money to the relationship, it’s not gonna last very long. You have to bring something to the table other than putting a price on her vagina and going to the bathroom when the check comes. Maybe learn party magic tricks or another language. Learn to pair wines with dinner. Kill a homeless man and give her his heart in a gift bag with some diamonds to show your love. Women love grand gestures like that.

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Ariana Grande Is Single

Less than two weeks after his insecurity bled over to Twitter, Big Sean is now alone with his thoughts because Ariana Grande broke up with him. If the phrase “joint statement” is confusing you into thinking this was a mutual decision, lol sorry.

Big Sean and Ariana Grande have called it quits after nearly nine months of dating, E! News can confirm. The two released the following joint statement Monday morning: “They both care deeply for each other and remain close friends. We kindly ask that the media respect their wish for privacy regarding this personal matter at this time.”

“Remain close friends” basically means they’ll like each others statuses on Facebook once in a while for a few months until Big Sean unfriends her and spends the rest of the year jacking off to Ariana Grande pictures online.

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Big Sean Seems Really Secure In His Relationship With Ariana Grande

Because music is dead and people are dumb, people paid to see Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber perform in LA last night where Bieber hugged Ariana from behind. Obviously that should make the boyfriend she posts about constantly to fly into rage and passive aggressively threaten violence.

 

 

Oh, man. Big Sean sure showed Bieber who owns that vagina by tweeting then quickly deleting it. Probably after he got a text from Ariana that included a lot of question marks then him pricing tennis bracelets.

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