Beyonce Paid $60K To Keep Carter-Finley Stadium Open For An Extra Hour
Beyonce Paid $60K To Keep Carter-Finley Stadium Open For An Extra Hour



Beyonce‘s Formation Tour hit Carter-Finley Stadium in Raleigh, NC last night and NC State and Peace College sororities almost put cynanide in their Diet Cokes when lightning storms hit. It would have been a tragic loss for weekends on Fayetteville St.

Luckily, Beyonce is very rich and no pearls or monogrammed baseball hats were left beside a suicide note.


Shoutout to Beyonce for keeping Harris Teeter in Cameron Village the best place to get sorority ass. Maybe somebody will erect a statue of her outside. Also, why isn’t “6 Inch” a single yet? Make it happen.

[ h/t Time ]

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Beyonce Kicked Off Her Formation Tour Last Night, Here’s Some Videos
Beyonce Kicked Off Her Formation Tour Last Night, Here’s Some Videos




Beyonce‘s Formation Tour kicked off in Miami last night. I assume Becky was not there. I watched “Lemonade” last night, and besides being projected onto the walls of gay clubs with the sound off from now until the end of time, it is now probably the best album to play after your dude cheats on you. I also hope the fact that Beyonce rented out the entire Super Dome just to get like four shots doesn’t get lost in the discussion here.


Check some of the video highlights after the jump.
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Rita Ora Is Probably Becky
Rita Ora Is Probably Becky




Beyonce got cheated on, so none of you reading this should expect not to get cheated on at the first opportunity, but your man probably won’t have the chance to bang Rita Ora (seen here naked). That’s good news. You can scratch her off the list.

Rita Ora: Becky With The Good Hair! . . By now you've heard all about Beyonce's album and all the name calling that followed. Well, if you're #beyhive , then know that Rachel Roy is not "Becky with the good hair!" And no that does not exclude the possibility of Jay messing with Rachel; it just means Rachel is not as important to Jay Z as she'd like to think. . . Rita Ora is more likely to be Becky! And her picture points us in her direction. In this snapchat clip which she has deleted, Rita dons a yellow bikini embellished with lemonades! Guess whose album is named lemonade? And if you think that pendant was not intentionally flipped to look like a "J" maybe you need lesson 101 on how sidechicks roll! I don't see a twist in that chain. Rita knew what Bey's album would be called. The clues are too loud and one too may to be coincidence! . . There is a possibility that Jay is indeed in love with Rita and the bish knows her power. Too bad… Cos there aint gonna be two queen Beys! Over to you Beyhive. #lemonade #beyonce #jayz #ritaora #rachelroy #rihanna #bey #queenbey

A photo posted by THE TEA ROOM NAIJA (@thetearoomnaija) on




Rita Ora is now apparently “salty” about the whole thing. I guess that’s understandable since Jay Z fucked her twice. Can’t wait for Beyonce’s conceptual album about Rihanna. Should be great.


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Kim Kardashian Is Still Trying, Guys
Kim Kardashian Is Still Trying, Guys



Kim Kardashian posted these pics on her social media that I’m still not paying for to promote Pat McGrath’s new makeup line, and in a shocking twist, Kim has cornrows and is wearing fur. Not sure where we’ve seen that before oh wait I know. This was probably Kanye’s idea since he doesn’t like to jack off with sound.

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

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Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show Was A Plot To Make Your Child Gay And Hate Police
Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show Was A Plot To Make Your Child Gay And Hate Police


ATTENTION CHRISTIANS AND MIDDLE AMERICA: If you’ve noticed your child has been acting weird lately, its because you allowed him to watch the Super Bowl 50 halftime show and now they’re gay and want to kill police officers or something.

The first gay hot take was by, of course, Matt Walsh. If you don’t know who that is, he’s the “cool Christian” who smokes and has tattoos and hates gross gay stuff almost as much as he hates women’s rights and minorities. Almost. It’s hard to tell, really. 

Is it at all fathomable that the halftime producers decided to make “love,” rainbows and flowers into the theme for a football halftime show but it never occurred to them that the whole thing would seem pretty gay? How did that conversation go? “Hey, let’s turn the stadium into a rainbow flag with a slogan about love in the middle!” “Why?” “Because it will be pretty!” And that was it? A few silly Christians were the first ones to connect the gay dots? Come on.

Oh, damn. Sorry your narrow world view was slightly inconvenienced for 15 minutes because you couldn’t find the remote to change the channel. That must have been pretty difficult. The good news for people who read Matt Walsh is that if your child is gay, they probably won’t tell you, because 1.) you think that the “gay agenda” includes more than Googling Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl eye makeup and calling in sick to work to watch Grease: Live., and 2.) your child is statistically more likely to commit suicide after you kick them out of the house since God’s grace apparently only extends to those who extend their dicks to procreate instead of love. Whew. Then you won’t have to be embarrassed at the next worship service since this is what all your concern is about anyway. Also, it couldn’t be a Matt Walsh article without a hyperbolic scenario where Christians are chased and persecuted to the ends of the Earth for believing in Jesus. Take it away, Matt!

The halftime show was a black liberation-gay rights sermon set to music, nothing more. And those who say “big deal” probably wouldn’t be that dismissive if the stadium was adorned in crosses and crucifixes while a gospel choir sang about Jesus and the audience held up placards reading “One Man One Woman.” If the NFL did something like that, the outrage would be deafening. There would be boycotts and probably acts of terrorism at NFL headquarters in New York. Millions of progressives would file lawsuits claiming emotional trauma. Roger Goodell would be brought up on hate crime charges. The NFL would cease to exist. And we’d never hear the end of it. Seriously, never.

Although I can appreciate the power he thinks some pieces of wood nailed together wields on society, but if the NFL decided to air games at 9am, there’s a 95% chance churches would cease to exist. Maybe preachers could start panhandling outside NFL stadiums instead of their own? Just spitballing here. 


But probably the most Satanic ritual was Beyonce’s blatant disregard for the police. Keep in mind, this is somehow different than the blatant disregard that police show for minority lives. This did not sit well with Rudy Giuliani

“This is football, not Hollywood, and I thought it was really outrageous that she used it as a platform to attack police officers who are the people who protect her and protect us, and keep us alive,” Giuliani told Fox News. “And what we should be doing in the African-American community, and all communities, is build up respect for police officers, and focus on the fact that when something does go wrong, okay, we’ll work on that. Giuliani added that Beyonce is “probably going to take advantage of” this political position. “You’re talking to middle America when you have the Super Bowl. So if you’re going to have entertainment, have decent, wholesome entertainment and not use it as a platform to attack people,” he told Fox News.  Giuliani called the entire halftime show “ridiculous.” “I don’t know what the heck it was. A bunch of people bouncing around and all strange things. It was terrible,” he said. “Actually don’t even know why we have this. I mean, this is football.”

At first, it was hard for me to believe this was a Giuliani quote because it doesn’t include something about 9/11, but I think probably the best way for your child to become anti-cop is to make him off-white then encounter one. Or be in the vicinity of one. Or don’t obey every explicit command with exacting detail because, well, they’ll shoot you after they forget to turn on their body camera. Not surprisingly, Republican Rep. Peter King is so scared of a strong black woman that he wrote a 5-page letter. I guess the Republican “overreaching, oppressive government” and “corrupt union” narratives somehow stop at police. Probably because the video evidence was destroyed, who knows? Fortunately, the old white man who played in the Super Bowl gets to go out a hero and a winner (despite 1 interception, 5 sacks, and a lost fumble) because all the black guys around him made sure he gets the credit. I’m not sure what you’d call that. What is that called again? Gimme a minute, it’s coming to me.

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Beyonce Is In A Coldplay Video
Beyonce Is In A Coldplay Video


Kanye hasn’t mentioned Beyonce today, so I guess I’ll have to. She’s in Coldplay’s new video for their song called something or another. They’re covered in paint and the lead singer watches a movie that’s all I know. I had headphones on listening to something else. 


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Coldplay Will Open For Beyonce At The Super Bowl Now
Coldplay Will Open For Beyonce At The Super Bowl Now


The NFL took back $30M from people trying to research concussions, but they’ll also take four game checks from a player who smokes weed, so it’s understandable why they thought Coldplay performing at Super Bowl 50’s halftime show would be a great idea. Ambien isn’t on the NFL’s list of prohibited substances. They also tend to have no grip on reality. But I guess somebody told them they should probably have their audience awake for the 2nd half,  so they invited Beyonce to “join” Coldplay on stage. lol at “join”. 

Pepsi confirms to Entertainment Tonight that Queen Bey herself, Beyonce, will join the band on-stage during their performance at the Pepsi Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show on Feb. 7. Presumably, the group will deliver a live rendition of “Hymn for the Weekend,” which is featured on their seventh studio album, A Head Full of Dreams, and features vocals from Bey.

I guess Coldplay is cool if a character in a movie is waking up from a coma or somebody is looking for something for a documentaries about birds, but unless most of the Super Bowl audience didn’t hit their quarters bets and are asphyxiating themselves with an empty Doritos Cool Ranch bag, let’s just run with Beyonce for the whole thing. 


In related news, Beyonce was on Lip Sync Battle last night with Channing Tatum. Channing Tatum’s wife also did something. Kids today tell me that this is something called a “viral video”.



These are pictures of Channing Tatum’s wife:


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Beyonce Wore This Dress

I don’t know anybody who uses Tidal, but Beyonce wore this dress to the TIDAL X: 1020 at Barclays Center event last night I guess to make people write the word “Tidal” today. Even though she’s 37, I think this is still pretty good marketing. I mean, it was either this or Madonna. It’s too early for Madonna. Halloween is like 10 days away.

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Beyonce Is Apparently 37

Beyonce‘s father, Matthew Knowles, was on Power 105.1FM’s The Breakfast Club this morning, where he told a story about LA Reid’s girl group he formed in Atlanta in 1995 (Pink was the lead singer). Then he said this. It’s unclear at the time if the BeyHive has armed guards positioned outside Wikipedia.

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