Rihanna Had Her 3rd Diamond Ball
Rihanna Had Her 3rd Diamond Ball

 

I just realized the title sounds like she ate it, but Rihanna‘s annual Diamond Ball is a charity event that’s so good Harvard named her Humanitarian Of The Year. Lots of people showed up. Beyonce (good LAWD), Emily Ratajkowski (of course), Cardi B (whatever), Jamie Foxx and Dave Chapelle (goat), and somebody named Imaan Hammam who I now might be in love with. Here’s some pics from the thing.

 

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Beyonce Posted A Pic Of Her Twins
Beyonce Posted A Pic Of Her Twins

 

First, can we mention that Beyonce‘s professional Instagram photographer is way better than Taylor Swift’s? I just wanted to point that out before we get into this whole thing about the twins. So yeah, the twins were born a month ago today and I guess they’re out of the hospital now. The girl’s name is Rumi and the boy’s name is Sir Carter. So Rumi Carter and….Sir Carter Carter? Beyonce and Jay Z are smart people, so I’m sure they picked up on this already or somebody slowly raised their hand and mentioned it to them. Or maybe his name is Sir and the girl’s name is Rumi 1. It’s all so confusing.

 

Sir Carter and Rumi 1 month today.

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

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Beyonce’s Twins Are Still In The Hospital With A ‘Minor Issue’
Beyonce’s Twins Are Still In The Hospital With A ‘Minor Issue’

 

Beyonce had her twins on Monday, but they’ve been in the hospital for a week because of something. Nobody knows.

Beyonce has given birth to a boy and a girl, but an issue surfaced that has kept them in the hospital for nearly a week … TMZ has confirmed. Sources connected with the family tell us the twins were born Monday in a Los Angeles hospital. We’re told a “minor issue” surfaced, and as a result … doctors do not feel comfortable releasing them. We do not know the nature of the issue.  One source told us Beyonce also remains at the hospital, but as far as we know she’s okay. The babies are expected to be okay as well.

The “minor issue” might be the birth mother is holding up signing the adoption papers until Jay Z gives her a record deal. The “minor issue” might be the boy twin doesn’t want to leave because he found out he wasn’t born in Wakanda and he won’t be Black Panther. The “minor issue” might be Blue Ivy has hid them and won’t release them until her demands are met. I guess we’ll find out eventually. Or not. Either or is fine.

 

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Beyonce Is The Most Pregnant Person
Beyonce Is The Most Pregnant Person

 

Beyonce attended the Wearable Art Gala in Los Angeles on Saturday (I think to support her mom?), and as you can see, Beyonce is pregnant with like six adult dragons. And they all seem to have Jay Z’s nose.

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Beyonce Broke Selena Gomez’s Most-Liked Instagram Pic Record In 8 Hours
Beyonce Broke Selena Gomez’s Most-Liked Instagram Pic Record In 8 Hours

 

If you didn’t know Beyonce is pregnant with twins , you probably could have figured it out if you walked outside yesterday and heard a million voices cry out, “YASSSSSSS”, then fell silent. Anyway, her Instagram pregnancy announcement is now the most-liked pic in the history of Instagram with 8M and counting.  Hillary Clinton should ask if she can add that total to Wisconsin. The Selena Gomez photo below is what she beat out. I prefer the Selena Gomez pic myself, because she’s demonstrating how not to get pregnant.

 

when your lyrics are on the bottle #ad

A photo posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on

 

 

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Beyonce Is Pregnant With Twins
Beyonce Is Pregnant With Twins

 

I don’t know why Beyonce wanted to announce she was pregnant with twins in a picture that looks like she’s having a funeral for the twins, but Beyonce announced today that she’s pregnant with twins on the first day of Black History Month. This might be the best start to Black History Month that white girls have had in a while.

 

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Beyonce Performed At The Country Music Awards, White People Were Ecstatic
Beyonce Performed At The Country Music Awards, White People Were Ecstatic

 

Country music is shit and will always be shit. Country is worse than Norwegian prog metal. But white people like it. What they didn’t like is Beyonce opening last night’s 2016 Country Music Awards because OMG WE DON’T WANT THIS CROSSOVER CRAP THIS IS FOR COUNTRY MUSIC FANS AND ALSO SHE HATES COPS AND AMERICA AND SHE’S ALSO BLACK. Understandable. I mean, we didn’t want Taylor Swift either, but you gave birth to that demon and we’re now all suffering. We really shouldn’t think to hard about where country music came from or that the first country album to sell 1M copies was dropped by Ray Charles, we should just focus on the fact that Beyonce doesn’t have a cowboy hat and a ponytail and sings about beer at the lake. You can read the unhinged takes here, or you can watch Beyonce and the Dixie Chicks heal the nation below. Up to you.

 

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Beyonce Paid $60K To Keep Carter-Finley Stadium Open For An Extra Hour
Beyonce Paid $60K To Keep Carter-Finley Stadium Open For An Extra Hour



Beyonce‘s Formation Tour hit Carter-Finley Stadium in Raleigh, NC last night and NC State and Peace College sororities almost put cynanide in their Diet Cokes when lightning storms hit. It would have been a tragic loss for weekends on Fayetteville St.

Luckily, Beyonce is very rich and no pearls or monogrammed baseball hats were left beside a suicide note.


Shoutout to Beyonce for keeping Harris Teeter in Cameron Village the best place to get sorority ass. Maybe somebody will erect a statue of her outside. Also, why isn’t “6 Inch” a single yet? Make it happen.

[ h/t Time ]

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Beyonce Kicked Off Her Formation Tour Last Night, Here’s Some Videos
Beyonce Kicked Off Her Formation Tour Last Night, Here’s Some Videos




Beyonce‘s Formation Tour kicked off in Miami last night. I assume Becky was not there. I watched “Lemonade” last night, and besides being projected onto the walls of gay clubs with the sound off from now until the end of time, it is now probably the best album to play after your dude cheats on you. I also hope the fact that Beyonce rented out the entire Super Dome just to get like four shots doesn’t get lost in the discussion here.


Check some of the video highlights after the jump.
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Rita Ora Is Probably Becky
Rita Ora Is Probably Becky




Beyonce got cheated on, so none of you reading this should expect not to get cheated on at the first opportunity, but your man probably won’t have the chance to bang Rita Ora (seen here naked). That’s good news. You can scratch her off the list.

Rita Ora: Becky With The Good Hair! . . By now you've heard all about Beyonce's album and all the name calling that followed. Well, if you're #beyhive , then know that Rachel Roy is not "Becky with the good hair!" And no that does not exclude the possibility of Jay messing with Rachel; it just means Rachel is not as important to Jay Z as she'd like to think. . . Rita Ora is more likely to be Becky! And her picture points us in her direction. In this snapchat clip which she has deleted, Rita dons a yellow bikini embellished with lemonades! Guess whose album is named lemonade? And if you think that pendant was not intentionally flipped to look like a "J" maybe you need lesson 101 on how sidechicks roll! I don't see a twist in that chain. Rita knew what Bey's album would be called. The clues are too loud and one too may to be coincidence! . . There is a possibility that Jay is indeed in love with Rita and the bish knows her power. Too bad… Cos there aint gonna be two queen Beys! Over to you Beyhive. #lemonade #beyonce #jayz #ritaora #rachelroy #rihanna #bey #queenbey

A photo posted by THE TEA ROOM NAIJA (@thetearoomnaija) on




Rita Ora is now apparently “salty” about the whole thing. I guess that’s understandable since Jay Z fucked her twice. Can’t wait for Beyonce’s conceptual album about Rihanna. Should be great.


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