In America, anyone can be President. Scary, huh? That’s good news for Presidential candidate Ben Carson, because he’s raking in millions like he got a endorsement deal from Nike just for saying Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to be President. Ben Carson then realized there was more money to be made, so in the wake of the Umpqua Community College shooting which left 9 people dead and 9 people injured, Carson channeled his Mark Wahlberg and let the victims’ families know they died because they weren’t aggressive enough. Pussies.
In an interview with Vanity Fair, Kanye West talked about Kanye West a lot. He also talked about the importance of sweatshirts. He also called Ben Carson brilliant, which make me not want to believe his stance on sweatshirts.
I want everyone to win. When I run for president, I’d prefer not to run against someone. I would be like “I want to work with you.” As soon as I heard [Ben] Carson speak, I tried for three weeks to get on the phone with him. I was like this is the most brilliant guy. And I think all the people running right now have something that each of the others needs. But the idea of this separation and this gladiator battle takes away from the main focus that the world needs help and the world needs all the people in a position of power or influence to come together.
Ben Carson once said affordable healthcare was the worst thing since slavery. I could just stop right there, or I could say Ben Carson also once said evolution was created by Satan to keep you Jesus. Keep in mind that Ben Carson is running for President. I tried to run this quote through a Kanye translator, but the only parallel I could find is that two men who were at one time at the top of their respective professions say dumb shit when somebody gives them a microphone.
Ben Carson, the bland, former chief of pediatric neurosurgery at the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center who conservatives want to run for president, because they think we’ll be tricked by his skin color instead of focusing on views, chimed in on the whole Ray Rice thing. HINT: It’s not good.