‘The Accountant’ UK Premiere Was Last Night, Anna Kendrick Seems Thrilled
‘The Accountant’ UK Premiere Was Last Night, Anna Kendrick Seems Thrilled

 

From what I can tell, The Accountant is about a slick hitman with autism who shoots bad guys instead of elementary school children with a gun his mom bought. Part of this movie filmed right outside my friend’s apartment in Buckhead, and you could legit look out the window and see Ben Affleck. The didn’t even make me want to go to Buckhead. Cool story, Todd. Anyway, the UK premiere was last night, and I still can’t figure out if Anna Kendrick is supposed to be attractive or not. Her face kinda looks like a witch mask. The boobs don’t, so this what might be causing the confusion on my end.

 

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Ben Affleck’s Solo Batman Movie Is Gonna Be Called ‘The Batman’
Ben Affleck’s Solo Batman Movie Is Gonna Be Called ‘The Batman’



As you already know, Ben Affleck is writing and directing his own standalone Batman movie, and it needs to come as soon as possible so humanity can wash off the pile of shit that was Batman v Superman. I know what you’re gonna say, it was a HUGE HIT! You know what else is a huge hit? Big Macs and Donald Trump. So let’s not get that confused. On the bright side, Zack Snyder is nowhere near this one. And by “this one”, I mean:

“I think is going to be called ‘The Batman’ … at least that’s what we are going with now,” Affleck told the Associated Press in a recent interview. “I might change it, I think that’s about it right now, that’s all I got,” he said. Affleck is set to direct and star in the film, slated for 2016, in addition to co-writing the screenplay. “We’re working on the script, the script is going well, I’m really excited about it and I assure you that when there’s anything that develops you’ll hear about it,” Affleck said.

Even if this movie ends up not living up to the hype, it’s be exponentially better than Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad, and Justice League. Why? Because I’m not sure about actor Ben Affleck, but director Ben Affleck has earned the right not to be second guessed by a studio suit. And also because Zack Snyder isn’t involved. I want to make sure we’re all clear on that.

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Ben Affleck Went Full On #Deflategate


Bill Simmons’ new HBO show, Any Given Wednesday, premiered last night and the second guest of the evening was his fellow Boston sports homer, Ben Affleck. Naturally,  Tom Brady was the topic of discussion, because Boston bros would burn Larry Bird alive if Brady literally asked them to kiss his ass. In the 5 minute segment, Affleck said “fuck” or “fucking” 19 times. He also called Brady classy and wondered openly about Brady sexting.


As you can see, it takes about 30 secs to think Affleck is drunk off his ass. He wasn’t. This is just how grown men from Boston talk about Tom Brady. 

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Warner Bros. Says Ben Affleck Is Directing The Batman Movie He Wrote
Warner Bros. Says Ben Affleck Is Directing The Batman Movie He Wrote



A few weeks ago it was revealed that Ben Affleck had written a stand alone Batman script. Cool. And now that Melissa McCarthy has thrown the last bit of dirt over Batman v Superman‘s abject failure, Warner Bros. is letting Affleck direct this one because Zack Snyder fucks up everything he touches. No big mystery.

At the Warner Bros presentation at CinemaCon in Las Vegas, the studio confirmed work on a standalone Batman film, with Affleck possibly involved in a role behind-the-scenes. Onstage, Warner Bros. CEO Kevin Tsujihara confirmed that Affleck is working on a solo Batman film and also appeared to confirm that Affleck is directing; while he didn’t explicitly state that Affleck is writing and directing the movie, Tsujihara listed the actor as one of the “filmmakers” working on the expanded DC universe, along with Aquaman director James Wan.

Ben Affleck also confirmed it at CinemaCon as well, so if you’re a DC fan who think Marvel paid off critics for your last disaster, good news! The shit Affleck directs is either usually pretty damn good or great. I’m pretty excited to see Batman playing for the Red Sox. Hahahaha totally not fair! Give the other team a chance, buddy!

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Ben Affleck Wrote A Batman Script
Ben Affleck Wrote A Batman Script


Batman v Superman was so bad Hans Zimmerman said fuck outta here with anymore superhero moviesBen Affleck had to rewrite the script on set and he still couldn’t save it from the inevitable “set a record for the biggest box office dropoff for a superhero film from Friday to Sunday in an opening weekend” thing that was bound to happen. But good news, people who like superhero movies that also happen to be good movies, Ben Affleck is here for you. According to WME-IMG’s co-CEOs Ari Emanuel and Patrick Whitesell‘s interview with THR,  Affleck has already written a standalone Batman script.

Patrick, how long do you think Ben will want to play Batman?

WHITESELL: Well, he’s contracted to do at least Justice League One and Two, so at least three times wearing the cape. And there’s a script that he’s written that is a really cool [Batman] idea, so that’s out there as an option.

Advice: fast track the shit out of this. Stop what you’re doing with Justice League Part 1 and do this instead. And let Affleck direct. If Zack Snyder shows up, let Batman shoot him on sight. It’s what the people want. Say what you want about Affleck, but even the trailers for the movies he’s directed are better than Batman v Superman. Because, if we’re being honest with ourselves, Snyder has no idea what he’s doing. I would even be hesitant to let Snyder direct traffic since he’ll make sure somebody dies at the end. 


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Jennifer Garner Dropped “Bless His Heart” On Ben Affleck’s Bitch Ass
Jennifer Garner Dropped “Bless His Heart” On Ben Affleck’s Bitch Ass


In the new issue of Vanity Fair, Jennifer Garner talked publicly for the first time about her split with Ben Affleck (he had instant regret) Please keep in mind, she’s from the South. If you read closely, you can almost see the hair flip. You can read the full interview over at Popsugar, but here’s a few highlights. Including the on where the hair flip swung and dropped the goddamn hammer directly on Ben Affleck’s soul.

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The Nanny Isn’t Gonna Like This

So here’s Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner walking around Santa Monica yesterday with all smiles, so it looks like Christine Ouzounian’s Jennifer Garner voodoo doll either got lost or she forgot it in the lobby of US Weekly.

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The Nanny Got A $1M Offer To Play Batwoman In A Porn


“Would you rather look at me or that basic ass nanny?- Lindsey Pelas


Yeah, so Ben Affleck‘s ex-nanny/current captor Christine Ouzounian has a $1m porn offer on the table if she does three sex scenes in a Batman porn parody. This is your America.

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Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner’s Disney Trip Went Super Great

This is a story about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s trip to Disney World, but these are pictures of Bella Thorne in this dress, because nobody really wants to see sad pics. They’ll just make you sit there is quiet resentment. Much like their plane ride to Orlando.

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