Batman Is In His Bulking Cycle

Jennifer Garner officially filed for divorce from Ben Affleck yesterday, and since he doesn’t get drunk everyday now, it appears he’s been stress eating. Maybe it’s for the scene in The Batman where Batman and Batgirl get a free bra fitting at Nordstrom. Or maybe he started after he saw the Justice League trailer.

 

#FBF to the time Ben Affleck banged the ugly nanny and Jennifer Garner casually dropped a “bless his heart” on his ass in an interview.

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Ben Affleck Just Got Out Of Rehab
Ben Affleck Just Got Out Of Rehab

 

Ben Affleck went on Facebook last night to let everybody know he recently went to rehab for alcohol addiction. Here’s the post.

 

I have completed treatment for alcohol addiction; something I’ve dealt with in the past and will continue to confront. …

Posted by Ben Affleck on Tuesday, March 14, 2017

 

Well. This explains a lot of things. Mostly this, this, and this. But mostly importantly, this.  It doesn’t explain why I can’t think of anything negative to say two posts in a row. I guess I can say something about Rachel Maddow last night. What was all that about? Hillary Clinton didn’t take an L that hard.

 

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Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner Have Called Off Their Divorce
Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner Have Called Off Their Divorce

 

Who says you can’t bang the nanny then come home again? Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner called off their divorce to “work things out”.  Shout out to blind love and cultural conditioning!

Though the actors, both 44 — who announced their separation back in June 2015 — aren’t back together, they have decided to keep working on their marriage after going through a recent rough patch that nearly led to a permanent split. “Jen has called off the divorce,” a source close to Garner tells PEOPLE in the latest issue. “She really wants to work things out with Ben. They are giving things another try.” But a source close to the couple says it was a decision they both made: “There is always a chance of reconciliation. They love each other. They also really, really love their kids, and those kids love their parents.”

I don’t know if she feels sorry for him after Batman v Superman and Live By Night or what. Her Capital One commercials are better than those. Anyway, I hope it works out. But Garner really missed to an opportunity to prank him during this whole A Day Without A Woman thing.

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Ben Affleck Doesn’t Wanna Be Batman Now
Ben Affleck Doesn’t Wanna Be Batman Now

 

Ben Affleck reportedly doesn’t want to play Batman anymore or be involved with Warner Bros. or DC in any way. Man, I can hardly even understand why!

(more…)

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Ben Affleck Won’t Direct ‘The Batman’ Now
Ben Affleck Won’t Direct ‘The Batman’ Now

 

Ben Affleck, seen here looking at the reviews and box office for Live By Night, has decided (probably forced) to step down as director of the stand alone Batman film, because he was having a pretty great run as a director then he was in Batman v Superman and that movie killed the soul of everyone involved like it was The Bye Bye Man. This should come as good news to Marvel fans. Here’s Affleck’s plan now:

“There are certain characters who hold a special place in the hearts of millions,” Affleck said in a statement. “Performing this role demands focus, passion and the very best performance I can give. It has become clear that I cannot do both jobs to the level they require. Together with the studio, I have decided to find a partner in a director who will collaborate with me on this massive film. I am still in this, and we are making it, but we are currently looking for a director. I remain extremely committed to this project, and look forward to bringing this to life for fans around the world.”

Affleck didn’t seem to have a problem directing shit he’s starred in before, so either the script is as horrible as people say and he wants no part of taking the full blame for this garbage, or the studio freaked over Live By Night and plans to clone Zack Snyder instead of paying an actual director to do this. Either way, I have more confidence in Trump blending his makeup than I do in DC/Warner Bros. making a decent superhero movie.

 

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‘The Accountant’ UK Premiere Was Last Night, Anna Kendrick Seems Thrilled
‘The Accountant’ UK Premiere Was Last Night, Anna Kendrick Seems Thrilled

 

From what I can tell, The Accountant is about a slick hitman with autism who shoots bad guys instead of elementary school children with a gun his mom bought. Part of this movie filmed right outside my friend’s apartment in Buckhead, and you could legit look out the window and see Ben Affleck. The didn’t even make me want to go to Buckhead. Cool story, Todd. Anyway, the UK premiere was last night, and I still can’t figure out if Anna Kendrick is supposed to be attractive or not. Her face kinda looks like a witch mask. The boobs don’t, so this what might be causing the confusion on my end.

 

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Ben Affleck’s Solo Batman Movie Is Gonna Be Called ‘The Batman’
Ben Affleck’s Solo Batman Movie Is Gonna Be Called ‘The Batman’



As you already know, Ben Affleck is writing and directing his own standalone Batman movie, and it needs to come as soon as possible so humanity can wash off the pile of shit that was Batman v Superman. I know what you’re gonna say, it was a HUGE HIT! You know what else is a huge hit? Big Macs and Donald Trump. So let’s not get that confused. On the bright side, Zack Snyder is nowhere near this one. And by “this one”, I mean:

“I think is going to be called ‘The Batman’ … at least that’s what we are going with now,” Affleck told the Associated Press in a recent interview. “I might change it, I think that’s about it right now, that’s all I got,” he said. Affleck is set to direct and star in the film, slated for 2016, in addition to co-writing the screenplay. “We’re working on the script, the script is going well, I’m really excited about it and I assure you that when there’s anything that develops you’ll hear about it,” Affleck said.

Even if this movie ends up not living up to the hype, it’s be exponentially better than Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad, and Justice League. Why? Because I’m not sure about actor Ben Affleck, but director Ben Affleck has earned the right not to be second guessed by a studio suit. And also because Zack Snyder isn’t involved. I want to make sure we’re all clear on that.

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Ben Affleck Went Full On #Deflategate


Bill Simmons’ new HBO show, Any Given Wednesday, premiered last night and the second guest of the evening was his fellow Boston sports homer, Ben Affleck. Naturally,  Tom Brady was the topic of discussion, because Boston bros would burn Larry Bird alive if Brady literally asked them to kiss his ass. In the 5 minute segment, Affleck said “fuck” or “fucking” 19 times. He also called Brady classy and wondered openly about Brady sexting.


As you can see, it takes about 30 secs to think Affleck is drunk off his ass. He wasn’t. This is just how grown men from Boston talk about Tom Brady. 

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Warner Bros. Says Ben Affleck Is Directing The Batman Movie He Wrote
Warner Bros. Says Ben Affleck Is Directing The Batman Movie He Wrote



A few weeks ago it was revealed that Ben Affleck had written a stand alone Batman script. Cool. And now that Melissa McCarthy has thrown the last bit of dirt over Batman v Superman‘s abject failure, Warner Bros. is letting Affleck direct this one because Zack Snyder fucks up everything he touches. No big mystery.

At the Warner Bros presentation at CinemaCon in Las Vegas, the studio confirmed work on a standalone Batman film, with Affleck possibly involved in a role behind-the-scenes. Onstage, Warner Bros. CEO Kevin Tsujihara confirmed that Affleck is working on a solo Batman film and also appeared to confirm that Affleck is directing; while he didn’t explicitly state that Affleck is writing and directing the movie, Tsujihara listed the actor as one of the “filmmakers” working on the expanded DC universe, along with Aquaman director James Wan.

Ben Affleck also confirmed it at CinemaCon as well, so if you’re a DC fan who think Marvel paid off critics for your last disaster, good news! The shit Affleck directs is either usually pretty damn good or great. I’m pretty excited to see Batman playing for the Red Sox. Hahahaha totally not fair! Give the other team a chance, buddy!

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Ben Affleck Wrote A Batman Script
Ben Affleck Wrote A Batman Script


Batman v Superman was so bad Hans Zimmerman said fuck outta here with anymore superhero moviesBen Affleck had to rewrite the script on set and he still couldn’t save it from the inevitable “set a record for the biggest box office dropoff for a superhero film from Friday to Sunday in an opening weekend” thing that was bound to happen. But good news, people who like superhero movies that also happen to be good movies, Ben Affleck is here for you. According to WME-IMG’s co-CEOs Ari Emanuel and Patrick Whitesell‘s interview with THR,  Affleck has already written a standalone Batman script.

Patrick, how long do you think Ben will want to play Batman?

WHITESELL: Well, he’s contracted to do at least Justice League One and Two, so at least three times wearing the cape. And there’s a script that he’s written that is a really cool [Batman] idea, so that’s out there as an option.

Advice: fast track the shit out of this. Stop what you’re doing with Justice League Part 1 and do this instead. And let Affleck direct. If Zack Snyder shows up, let Batman shoot him on sight. It’s what the people want. Say what you want about Affleck, but even the trailers for the movies he’s directed are better than Batman v Superman. Because, if we’re being honest with ourselves, Snyder has no idea what he’s doing. I would even be hesitant to let Snyder direct traffic since he’ll make sure somebody dies at the end. 


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