So, I saw Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice at 7pm last night at Midtown Art Cinema. There were maybe 20 people in the smallest theater they had. This is my review. If you care about “spoilers”, go ahead and dip out. If you don’t, I’m just gonna rip the Band-Aid off for you right now. Let’s get started, shall we?
I freely admit that I’ve pissed on Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice before even watching it. I get that. I’m that guy. But after you see what Zack Snyder and David S. Goyer did with Man Of Steel (a movie I really wanted to be good), I’m not going to hold out hope that those two can do better when they add Wonder Woman and Batman in a robot suit. I guess other people didn’t either. Because basically every Batman V Superman review is bad. Like Yelp review bad. It currently has a 37% on Rotten Tomatoes. Like, that would be great news if this was an Adam Sandler movie, but this is a $250M tentpole movie intended to launch an entire franchise. You might argue that these critics won’t be able to understand because “they’ve never read a comic before” (yes, I read that on Facebook today). So I’ll just post some of the review from Comic Book Resources. That good? Cool.
I was bored. Often. Then infuriated that this massively budgeted movie guaranteed to be a blockbuster is so willfully a trainwreck…. But worse are a series of long, creature-filled dream sequences, into which we’re hurled without warning or logic. By the third bad Batman dream, I had completely lost my grasp on what was going on in this movie. And the script does the audience no favors. To call it ridden with plot holes would be a disservice to plot holes. These are plot caverns.
Apparently its boring, take itself way too fucking seriously, and the whole “Batman V Superman” part is like a half-assed handjob. However, that being said, I’ll being seeing this crap Thursday night and will be posting my first ever movie review on here on Friday. Try to contain your excitement. Not for these Gal Gadot pics though.