The 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar Is Here
The 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar Is Here

 

It’s the reason for the season. The 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar. Of course, Emily Ratajkowski would be one of the first, because I assume she was camping out front until they let her end. Not sure what rubbing your boobs with pasta and grease in a warehouse has to do with Christ’s return, but that’s not for us to concern ourselves with. The point is, Emily Ratajkowski rubbing her boobs with pasta and grease in a warehouse with her special needs face that we have all chosen to ignore.

 

 

Ashley Graham was also asked because they had to check off that diversity box early. Her video is pretty much what you’d expect. Lots of closeups and shots that looks like she’s about to ruin a toilet. Sexy. They also made her pretend she was running. They probably had to pay her extra for that. I guess having Ashley Graham run herself in pasta would be too on the nose.

 

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Who Wants To See Ashley Graham Naked In ‘V Magazine’?
Who Wants To See Ashley Graham Naked In ‘V Magazine’?

 

So to get traffic and to pat themselves on the back for promoting body positivity than will translate into ad click dollars, V Magazine had Ashley Graham pose completely naked. I’ve heard this described as “brave” (which doesn’t make sense if you think about it longer than five seconds), and I’ve read that Ashley Graham has “curves for days”. That’s definitely one way to say it, I guess. Anyway, here’s Ashley Graham naked (NSFW). Please note, these the airbrushed, so imagine the H.P. Lovecraft nightmare these would be if they weren’t. And no, I wouldn’t hit it. Please stop telling me I would. I appreciate your concern.

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Ashley Graham Is Very Graceful
Ashley Graham Is Very Graceful

 

Much unlike when Jennifer Lawrence trips on the red carpet in a preplanned effort to seem likable and relatable (real, likable people trip a lot?), Ashley Graham tripped on the red carpet at the Time 100 Gala, because of the laws of physics and mass. That’s a lot to ask of a tight dress and high heels. I haven’t read anything else about this, but I assume there’s an article somewhere calling her “brave”.

 

 

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Here’s Ashley Graham With A Bagel Bra
Here’s Ashley Graham With A Bagel Bra

 

We get it, Ashley Graham really loves carbs. She really didn’t need to tell us this. Millions of bagels don’t have to die so that she can live. What is this, some sort of game, Ashley? And why haven’t I seen at least one post saying this is offensive to the Jewish community? They must be off fighting their mortal enemy Tim Allen.

 

I LOVE BREAD! xx #AshleyGraham

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Carb loaded:

 

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Ashley Graham Got Topless On Instagram

 

I wouldn’t go so far as to say I missed this pic of Ashley Graham topless yesterday, more like I saw it and was like “meh” then looked up the 2017 NFL Mock Draft. I kinda expected to see her on there as well. Run defense is a big problem in the league. So here it is today. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted? Here’s her nipples too if that’ll make you shut up. Jesus. Look, why don’t you just stop talking. This conversation is pointless, and quite frankly I don’t appreciate your tone. 

 

I saw hundreds of Nemo, Dory & friends snorkeling today @sixsenseszilpasyonj

A photo posted by A S H L E Y G R A H A M (@theashleygraham) on

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Ashley Graham Was Jessica Rabbit For The 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar
Ashley Graham Was Jessica Rabbit For The 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

Ok, let’s get caught up on the 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. We got Kendall Jenner again for some reason, Elsa Hosk, Cami Morrone, and Ashley Graham as Jessica Rabbit in a remake of Who Ate Roger Rabbit?, sorry, I meant Who Framed Roger Rabbit? We could probably say either or.

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Ashley Graham Is Topless
Ashley Graham Is Topless

 

Not sure why I didn’t know Ashley Graham had a black boyfriend. I guess I should have assumed (no racist). Anyway, she posted this topless picture a few hours ago on Instagram. Can’t wait until we learn the sex of the baby.

 

Thank you @maximmag for reminding me how supportive my husband is.. #tb

A photo posted by A S H L E Y G R A H A M (@theashleygraham) on

 

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Hailey Clauson Is Probably Still Mad At Ashley Graham
Hailey Clauson Is Probably Still Mad At Ashley Graham

 

It’s still unclear how Ashley Graham got the cover of the SI Swimsuit Issue over Hailey Clauson, but I guess we can chalk it up to 2016. Lot of weird shit happened this year. But they both attended the 2016 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year event last night, and I didn’t see any pics of them together. Maybe Hailey didn’t want to be cropped out of the picture if they took a selfie since phone cameras can only go so wide.

 

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Ashley Graham Is For My Boss
Ashley Graham Is For My Boss

 

My boss is super into Ashley Graham (we’ve had calm, rational discussions about this), so imagine his surprise when she showed up at VH1’s America’s Next Top Model premiere wearing this and realizing this is still on the air! I bet he was way stoked. Not that she cares, but she really does nothing for me. But I do respect the fact that she has enough titties for everybody.

 

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Ashley Graham Did The Mannequin Challenge Because That’s Perfect For Her


I have no idea why the Mannequin Challenge is a thing, yet here we are. Based on the election results, it appears a lot of millennials were doing it when it was time to vote. Either way, it’s here, and now Ashley Graham is doing it, because its a viral sensation that plays into her favorite activity: remaining perfectly still on a couch. Enjoy!

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