Ariana Grande Is, Like, Super Sorry

If you don’t know why Ariana Grande posted this apology video, you can read it about it here, but I’m still unsure why she felt the need to make it. Because being American means never having to say you’re sorry. Not like this going to help, because the people who threw their 9/11 commemorative plates against the wall when she said she hated America, probably won’t stop airbrushing bald eagles on their t-shirts when they hear her say she’s never been prouder to be American because of legalized same sex marriage. She might as well have said that Jesus was a dude from the Middle East who helped the poor and cured a gay Centurion’s rentboy. It’s just going to make it that much harder for Facebook to decide if gay marriage or Ariana Grande is ruining America. On the other hand, I’d very much like to ruin Ariana Grande, but not in the way you mean.