Anna Faris is in a Bikini

Anna Faris hit the beach with her new husband this weekend and boy does she look like she’s in love. And, seriously, why wouldn’t she be? She probably didn’t have a choice. I mean it’s obvious he’s some sort of mystical warlock enchanting the ladies with this unmatched physique and professions of love and mystery.

Nice shorts, jackass:

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Anna Faris Dresses Appropriately

I’ve tried, but I really don’t get Anna Faris. Sometimes she looks super cute and sometimes she looks like she has Downs. So, I guess I should thank her for wearing this dress to the LA premiere of Observe and Report last night. That way my penis doesn’t have to concentrate on her face. To be honest, it kinda spoils the mood when he has to worry if she needs to be wearing a special helmet or biting down on a stick.

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House Bunny Premiered Last Night

I rather watch zombies serve my torso at a picnic than see House Bunny, but a lot of hot ass showed up at the premiere last night, and in case you missed it, scouring the Internet for pictures of “hot ass” is kinda my job description. That is, of course, until I can find a way to start getting paid to just think about hot ass. Toddco* has a solid business plan, but apparently potential investors fail to see how masturbating constitutes a core competency. Insolent fools!

* A division of Handsome Industries, Inc.

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Katharine McLink

Paris Hilton makes funny of Lindsay Lohan [Just Jared]
Cindy Crawford breeds pretty children [Dlisted]
Offensive Coke ad [College Humor]
Lindsay Lohan is screwed [Hollywood Rag]
Ashlee Simpson looks generic [Popsugar]
Carmen Electra does Fergie [Hollywood Tuna]
Mandy Moore is vampy [Egotastic]
Chuck Norris had plastic surgery [City Rag]
Avril Lavigne runs around naked and drunk [Popoholic]
More of Anne Hathaway‘s boobs and boyfriend (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Jordan (Katie Price) flashes her panties (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Rgis and Kathie Lee reunite [ASL]
Keira Knightley does Elle magazine [Horny Oyster]
Bye Bye Bye (Mission Man Band) [Pajiba]

Katharine McPhee, Anna Faris, and Rumer Willis on the set of House Bunny:

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Jessica Biel Premiered Last Night

It’s Friday the 13th so it’s technically a special occasion, and that usually means pictures of Jessica Biel. Specifically, pictures of Jessica Biel at the premiere of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. After the premiere, Jess (that’s what I like to call her) and I enjoyed a simple candlelit dinner, nothing fancy. I had to eat mine outside and stare at her through the glass, but she seemed to scream with joy when she opened the present I got her. She was so excited, she even called the police to come and see it. I really hope she liked the heart. That homeless guy seemed pretty attached to it.

Anna Faris:

Katharine McPhee:

Emmanuelle Chriqui:

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