There Will Never Be An Amy Winehouse Biopic



When drug addicts who have recorded albums die at 27, they become famous, so of course it would make sense for Hollywood to exploit that and make a movie about Amy Winehouse‘s life. But her father, who owns all the rights to her songs, says that will never happen. Oh, man I’m so bummed now. I was looking forward to not watching that. Daily Mail reports:

The tragic life story of Amy Winehouse will never be told in a film, her father insists. With her posthumous album Lioness: Hidden Treasures sitting at the top of the charts, there were rumours that Amy’s ex-boyfriend Reg Traviss had been approached to produce a biopic. But Mitch Winehouse, who owns the copyright to Amy’s music and has to approve its use, says: ‘It would hardly be a biopic without the music and we’d never allow the songs to be released.’ Taxi driver, Mitch has already said that he plans to write a book which will be a memoir of Amy stating that proceeds from the publication will go to the charity that has been set up in the singer’s name. A deal has been signed with publisher HarperCollins which has described the book as a ‘heartfelt and revelatory memoir.’ Obviously predicting negative criticism at the time of the announcement, Mitch went on to say at: ‘Let me remind you. ‘All profits to the foundation. Do you know how many kids will benefit form that money?’

Mitch Winehouse is a cab driver, so I assume at some point a movie will get made once his lucrative career dries up. In the meantime, I guess you can just watch Trainspotting or stand outside a methadone clinic while listening to a bunch of Amy Winehouse songs. It’s basically the same thing.

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Amy Winehouse Died Of A “Misadventure”

Amy Winehouse‘s death was ruled accidental. E! Online reports:

Three months after Amy Winehouse’s unexpected passing, and her official cause of death has finally been revealed. Turns out, her family was right: it wasn’t drugs that killed her. It was alcohol. British coroner Suzanne Greenway announced today that the 27-year-old suffered a “death by misadventure” on July 23, and that her passing was an “unintended consequence” of accidental alcohol poisoning. An initial autopsy taken in the wake of the singer’s death was inconclusive, though no drugs were found in her system at the time. But according to both Greenway and pathologist Suhail Baithun, plenty of alcohol, sadly, was. Baithun told the inquest committee this morning, where their findings were revealed, that Winehouse had consumed “a very large quantity of alcohol” and that her blood-alcohol limit was more than five times that of the drunk-driving limit. As for the exact numbers, Greenway told the St. Pancras Coroners Court at today’s inquest hearing that the singer had 416 mg of alcohol per 100 ml of blood. The legal limit in Britain is 80 mg.

(more…)

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Lady Gaga Is Playing Amy Winehouse In A Movie



Lady Gaga respected Amy Winehouse so much that she wanted Amy’s body to still be warm while she pissed on it with studio executives. Pretty touching really. Daily Star reports:

LADY GaGa is in secret talks to play Amy Winehouse in a film about the singer’s tragic life. Hollywood movie moguls want to capitalise on the global outpouring of grief following her death on July 23. LA producers think outrageous pop phenomenon GaGa would be perfect in the starring role. A Hollywood insider said: “Lady GaGa worshipped Amy and would love nothing more than to transform herself into her idol on the big screen. “She’d be spot on performing Amy’s songs and has got the right look and bolshy attitude.” “GaGa’s been itching to make the transition from music into movies and sees this as the ideal role to launch her film career.”

Man, I can’t wait to see this movie. Lady Gaga does such a fantastic pretending to be Madonna, David Bowie, and Grace Jones on stage, I bet she’ll be great pretending to be Amy Winehouse on film.

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Amy Winehouse Was Secretly Engaged



Amy Winehouse‘s boyfriend of two years, film director Reg Traviss, apparently proposed to her before she died. No word on whether he went to Jared. The Sun reports:

AMY Winehouse and boyfriend Reg Traviss secretly got engaged weeks before her death. Reg, 35, gave ecstatic singer Amy, 27, a diamond ring. And she agreed to marry Reg without a moment’s hesitation – because she so desperately wanted to put her wild lifestyle behind her. A source said: “Reg asked Amy and of course she said ‘Yes’. She loved him. “She wanted nothing more than to be his wife and to start a family with him. She wanted to get rid of her demons so badly. “They openly said they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. They both thought the absolute world of each other.”

Well, this is sad. I hope Reg Traviss can go on with his life and some day find someone he can love again. If he wants, I can take him down Sunset. He might be hesitant at first, much to his eventual surprise, lots of unrepentant junkies who are near death hang out there.

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Amy Winehouse Was Almost A Model Parent

Amy Winehouse was thisclose to adopting a 10-year-old girl named Dannika Augustine from St. Lucia before she died. TMZ reports:

Dannika tells The Sunday Mirror, “Amy was already my mother. I would call her mum and she would call me her daughter. She took care of me and we had fun together. I loved her and she loved me … She was the most amazing person and I was looking forward to living with her here or in London. I cannot believe she is gone. This is the worst thing that ever happened to me.” Dannika’s grandmother Marjorie says she spoke to Amy a few weeks ago and that Amy planned to return to St. Lucia next month. She told the paper, “Amy wanted to have a child so bad. If she had not died, there is no doubt she would be here in St Lucia completing the adoption process. There is no way she would have done what she did to herself if Dannika was with her.” Both of Dannika’s parents had signed off on the adoption.

I don’t know why this girl’s parents bothered doing paperwork at all. If you’re willing to relinquish your 10-year-old to a self-destructive drug addict, you could save yourself a lot of time and money and just toss her to a pack of wolverines. The meat you have to tie around her neck would be a lot cheaper and more accessible than the smack you’d have to hide in her pockets for Amy to pay her any mind.

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Amy Winehouse’s Family Believes She Died From Abstinence



Although seen stumbling out of a pub to buy any drug she could get her hands on by numerous witnesses the night before she died, Mitch Winehouse says his daughter died from not being able to drink alcohol. I believe Amy Winehouse died from seeing the sheer beauty of a unicorn because I’m also not a doctor and can make up complete shit not based on any medical fact. People reports:

Amy Winehouse’s struggles to quit drugs were well documented. But her family fears that sudden abstinence from alcohol might have been what led to her death last Saturday at age 27, according to a report. Winehouse ignored doctors’ advice to step back gradually from her heavy drinking and went cold turkey in the past month, an unnamed family friend tells Britain’s Sun. Her family believes that was too much of a shock to her system, the source adds. “Abstinence gave her body such a fright, they thought it was eventually the cause of her death,” says the source.

Right. Because if Amy Winehouse was known for anything it was her innate willpower and determination to stay away from drugs and alcohol. When she mumbled and fell down on stage all those times, she was just drunk with happiness and excited to start a new chapter in her life. Or she was just piss drunk and ready to get off stage because all audience’s credit card payments finally got captured so she had money to buy more heroin. There’s also that.

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Amy Winehouse Was Very Talented



Because capitalizing on someone’s death is fun, photographer Terry Richardson released pictures of Amy Winehouse that he took in 2007 when she was just a junkie and not the beloved genius we all know and feign to love today. There’s a lot more, and you can see them here, but please keep in mind that none of the other pictures show Amy Winehouse pretending to fuck a chicken. So feel free to make fun of her if you want. She’s dead. She won’t mind.

Note: Seriously, what’s the criteria to become a dentist in England? Having your own hammer?

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Amy Winehouse Bought Cocaine, Heroin, Ecstasy and Ketamine The Night She Died



After she left the pub of course. Daily Mail reports:

The sordid details of Amy Winehouse’s final hours emerged today, with claims that she bought a cocktail of narcotics including cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine. Although the exact cause of death has not yet been released by police, it is claimed she was seen buying drugs from a dealer in Camden just after 10:30pm on Friday…A source told The People that she was seen buying substances, believed to be cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and ketamine leading up to the hours before her death. She is also thought to have been drinking heavily, which may have been the trigger of a lethal concoction of drugs and alcohol. The source told the newspaper: ‘Amy seemed determined to have a big one on Friday night. ‘She was out in Camden on Friday evening, but seemed determined to carry on the party back at her flat. ‘None of us know who was with her into the early hours of Saturday. But getting out of it was clearly her main priority of the night.’ Another source from one Camden pub told the tabloid that they had also seen Amy buying.

I know some of you wish she was still alive so she could make another album because she was a genius whose life was snuffed out too soon because of a senseless “tragedy”, but please keep in mind that if you reanimated her right now and put her in the studio, you’d come back from the bathroom to see her sliding down a mountain of coke into a pile of needles she just bought.

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Amy Winehouse Was Dead For Six Hours Before She Was “Found”



It takes six hours for her security team and handlers to flush drugs down the toilet and spray Febreze? Interesting. Sun reports:

TRAGIC Amy Winehouse may have been dead for up to six hours before her body was discovered lying in bed, cops fear. The star, 27, last spoke to her security team at 10am on Saturday. She was found at home in Camden, North London, at 4pm. Medics said she’d been dead several hours. Police sources reported no sign of drugs at the house. Amy had seen her doctor on Friday night. Amy’s doctor examined her the evening before her death – and gave her the all clear. The singer was having regular check-ups because her drink and drug battles had left her so frail. A source said: “The doctor was happy with her condition. When he left on Friday night he had no concerns. Less than 24 hours later she was found dead. “Amy’s health has been very fragile and she has been having a series of check-ups.”

Police have no leads and her autopsy is currently underway, but we really don’t need to know what happened. Because 27-year old’s take naps at 10am then die peacefully in their sleep all the time. There’s nothing to see here.

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