Here’s Amber Heard As Mera In ‘Justice League’
Here’s Amber Heard As Mera In ‘Justice League’




Only a year to go until Justice League is gets at 23% on Rotten Tomatoes, so in the meantime, here’s the first look at Amber Heard as Mera in said movie thanks to IGN. Cool. Did you look at the pic? Great. Let’s move on with our lives.


#tbt


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Amber Heard Is “Pretty Broke”, Homeless

If you want to click on Amber Heard‘s name here a relive the black magic that was the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard divorce, feel free. Life’s too short for me to do that again. Anyway, she continues to be the worst gold digger of all time.

Heard and Depp, 53, settled their divorce in mid-August, with Johnny paying Amber a $7 million settlement, which she donated to charity. However, he got to keep the pair’s LA condo where the alleged domestic violence occurred while Amber had to move out. “Right now, she’s pretty broke,” a source said. “And Johnny moved his friends into the condo they used to share.” According to the insider, his pals are acting like “guard dogs” and won’t let her retrieve her things upon her return from London. Johnny also “refuses to send her anything,” making the split even worse than previously thought.

Considering these are her monthly expensive, I assume “pretty broke” is relative here. Heard is in London right now shooting Justice League, which will eventually turn into bad publicity for her and everyone involved, so hopefully she leaks some stuff about Zack Snyder so the Warner Bros fire him. If needed, I can film it in slow motion.

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Amber Heard Lost Money In The Divorce, Is Worst Gold Digger Of All Time
Amber Heard Lost Money In The Divorce, Is Worst Gold Digger Of All Time


iO Tillett Wright is a human person who lived with Amber Heard and Johnny Depp for a year in 2014 after Wright tried to kill himself or something to that effect. I kinda skimmed through. Wright is also the person who wrote the essay, “Why I Called 911“, back in June when all this divorce/domestic violence/media leak shit started going down. He says Heard is his best friend, but has cut Depp out of his life for what we can assume are obvious reasons. He also said this:

Wright has now come out to back Heard and reveal she paid all her own legal fees and accepted a settlement that was much lower than she could have got. Discussing the fact she could have got more than the $7 million, he said: ‘And she paid her own legal fees. That situation was so public. I’m not ever going to be one of them – I’m not ever going to be an A-list celebrity. But I chose to get involved in that situation because it was imperative to say what I thought was right.’

I didn’t know it was possible to marry a millionaire in California, get abused by him, have documented evidence of the abuse, get divorced, then end up having to take out a car title loan to help out with rent and pet supplies. This is like a Lifetime Original horror movie. 

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Amber Heard Wants Johnny Depp To Pay $14M Now Because This Will Never End
Amber Heard Wants Johnny Depp To Pay $14M Now Because This Will Never End


Amber Heard and Johnny Depp agreed to a $7M divorce settlement in which Heard said she Johnny was donating to charity. Goddammit.  The six days later, Depp said “ok, cool” and cut the first $3.5M check to the ACLU per Heard’s request. Now Heard and her legal team want $7M more, because they apparently didn’t think this through. Goddammit. Why won’t this end? Please make this end. 

“Amber Heard appreciates Johnny Depp’s novel interest in supporting two of her favorite charities, the ACLU for domestic violence and the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. This is great and unexpected news. However, if Johnny wishes to change the settlement agreement, we must insist that he honor the full amount by donating $14M to charity, which, after accounting for his tax deduction, is equal to his $7M payment obligation to Amber. We would also insist that the full amount be paid immediately and not drawn out over many years. Anything less would be a transparent attempt by Johnny’s counsel, Laura Wasser and Patti Glaser, to reduce their client’s true payment by half under the guise of newfound concern for charities that he has never previously supported.”

I can appreciate the passive aggressive bullshit right out the gate, but you negotiated for $7M and that’s what you should expect. You get a tax deduction when you donate to charity, so maybe you should have got the check and donated it yourself. Unless, of course, you’ve moved on from using the media as a weapon to using using battered women and sick kids. See? Shit like this is why Investigation Discovery can do 24 hour programming. 


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Johnny Depp Cut That $7M Check Already
Johnny Depp Cut That $7M Check Already


Amber Heard and Johnny Depp handled all their shit last week, and Heard announced she was donating her entire $7M settlement to charity. Depp has already cut the checks.

A rep for Johnny tells TMZ, “Following Amber Heard’s announcement that her divorce settlement was to be divided equally and gifted to Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and the American Civil Liberties Union, two exceptionally deserving and important charities, Johnny Depp has sent the first of multiple installments of those monies to each charity in the name of Amber Heard, which when completed will honor the full amount of Ms. Heard’s pledge. Ms. Heard’s generosity in giving to these wonderful causes is deeply respected.”

Only the ACLU has received their cut yet, so obviously Depp hates sick children. The truth always come out. 

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Amber Heard Donated All $7M Of Her Johnny Depp Money To Charity
Amber Heard Donated All $7M Of Her Johnny Depp Money To Charity


I’ll go ahead and shave my neckbeard now, because Amber Heard donated the entirety of her $7M divorce settlement to two charities. Specifically, the ACLU and the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles (their full statements here). My statement: Amber Heard telling us all to go fuck ourselves makes her like a billion times hotter. Amber Heard’s statement:

“As described in the restraining order and divorce settlement, money played no role for me personally and never has, except to the extent that I could donate it to charity and, in doing so, hopefully help those less able to defend themselves. As reported in the media, the amount received in the divorce was $7 million and $7 million is being donated. This is over and above any funds that I have given away in the past and will continue to give away in the future. I know these organizations will put the funds to good use and look forward to continuing to support them in the future. Hopefully this experience results in a positive change in the lives of people who need it the most.”

Now before you say “smh she probably got more”, let a LA family expert tell you why you’re wrong. Hint: You’re wrong because of math. And if she wanted more, she could’ve got more – she turned it down.

Amber says she forfeited all residuals Johnny earned from movie deals he made during their 15-month marriage … which she’d be entitled to because there was no prenup.

And before you say “bitch this a PR stunt “, the victims benefiting from these donations wouldn’t give less if she dropped off this on money at the end of her televised parade. Let’s just admit we were wrong, move on, and applaud this. If you’re worried about Johnny Depp, he still has plenty of money left over to buy a scarf that writes prescriptions if he wants.  Feel free to leave a comment calling her a gold digger once your $7M charitable donation has been verified. 

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Amber Heard’s Lawyers Said She Was “Vindicated In The Court Of Public Opinion”
Amber Heard’s Lawyers Said She Was “Vindicated In The Court Of Public Opinion”


“Not worth it.” – whoever this old man is

You’d think Amber Heard‘s lawyers, Samantha F. Spector and Joseph P. Koenig, would be happy about getting $8M for their client without her ever filing a police report, sitting down for a deposition, or testifying at a hearing, but they just couldn’t shut up. 

“We are very pleased that this matter has been settled and Amber has been vindicated in the Court of Public Opinion. The case was incredibly challenging and demanding on everyone involved, but mostly on Amber who showed great grace and strength under fire. It was an honor to represent her.”

Now, I’m not a lawyer, but I probably wouldn’t have revealed my entire game plan until after the $8M check cleared. Has it cleared yet? I guess not.

Later in the day, Spector fully retracted the comment in a statement released to ET. Spector said that the earlier comments were “made without the knowledge or approval of Amber Heard.” “The statement is untrue and we retract it, without qualification. My assertion that Amber Heard has been vindicated in the court of public opinion is not true,” Spector’s statement continued. “We regret the error and apologize to Johnny Depp.

Oh I’m sure you do, Samantha. Totally. Hopefully that check clears now. Here’s the thing, we all know domestic isn’t a joke and should be taken fucking seriously, since over 50% of mass shootings happen when a dude with a handgun decides to take himself and the woman unlucky enough to be in a relationship with him out. But you can see why you shouldn’t mention the Amber Heard case the next time yet another victim of domestic goes unheard. It should be “Unheard” like I just said. Boom. Killin it today! #unheard


 

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Amber Heard Dropped Her Abuse Allegations Against Johnny Depp, Settled
Amber Heard Dropped Her Abuse Allegations Against Johnny Depp, Settled


A day before their restraining order hearing, Amber Heard and Johnny Depp reached a divorce settlement, and Heard has withdrew her domestic violence restraining order petition. They also released the most confusing joint statement I’ve ever read. 

“Our relationship was intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love. Neither party has made false accusations for financial gains. There was never an intent of physical or emotional harm. Amber wishes the best for Johnny in the future. Amber will be donating financial proceeds from the divorce to a charity.”

Uh, okay then. I guess the charity will be happy with whatever change she has left.  But here’s the thing. On August 6th, Heard showed up to her deposition and refused to answer questions and reportedly threw a tantrum. On August 12th, Heard flaked on her deposition yet again because she was “unable to arrange a flight“. However, she could arrange for that Johnny Depp video to be leaked that same night. We can question the timing of that if you want. We can also point out if the video was gender-swapped, Johnny Depp looks like at least two of my ex girlfriends. Dude was clearly on something. Then, of course today, they reached a settlement before the actual hearing. Heard doesn’t seem to want to get anything on official record for some reason. So here’s what we’ve learned: Johnny Depp is a violent asshole who throws shit AND Amber Heard is a gold digger. I’ll be honest, I didn’t see that one coming. 

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Amber Heard Was 90 Minutes Late To Her Johnny Depp Deposition Yesterday
Amber Heard Was 90 Minutes Late To Her Johnny Depp Deposition Yesterday


Amber Heard is tired of all the lies and slander the media has used to paint her as a gold digging whore who made up domestic violence claims against Johnny Depp in order to reap an untold fortune, and her lawyers have told us repeatedly that she’s been ready to “set the record straight” by sitting down for a deposition. A deposition that rescheduled once for a costume fitting. A deposition she rescheduled another time for her friend’s engagement party. A deposition that she showed up 90 minutes to on Saturday while getting dressed on the way in. 

Actress Amber Heard showed up 90 minutes late — with greasy hair and her shirt sleeves unbuttoned — for a Saturday morning deposition with Johnny Depp’s lawyers….Depositions can be a ­grueling face-off lasting hours, but video showed Heard looking barely prepared as she buttoned her sleeves and tucked in her shirt while waiting for an elevator to the attorney’s office.

In her defense, Elon Musk has more money, so you can see how this whole deposition thing would be boring to her now. Stay strong, Amber. Put this behind you, so we can wait for pics on TMZ of a sentient Tesla attacking you. Cha-ching!


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Amber Heard Is So Close She Can Taste It
Amber Heard Is So Close She Can Taste It


Amber Heard has valiantly fought to bring awareness to domestic violence, mostly through the media and eyewitness accounts that change depending on who is giving them, but she doesn’t want to bring that fight to court while under oath. Hard to tell why!

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard both want to end their war and settle everything connected with their relationship, so their lawyers are requesting the courtroom battle set for Friday be postponed. Sources connected with the couple say Amber and Johnny will now discuss a mutual agreement in which both agree to stay clear of each other. In addition, we’re told they will settle all matters involving their divorce, including property settlement and spousal support… A settlement would involve all possible claims each might have against the other. Translation … Amber couldn’t file a civil suit for the alleged domestic violence … something Johnny has denied.

Oh, ok. That makes sense. Just keep putting stuff in the media and postponing depositions until Johnny Depp just pays you to shut up. Suck on that, patriarchy. 


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