Here’s Some Pics Of Amber Heard As Mera On The Set Of ‘Aquaman’
Here’s Some Pics Of Amber Heard As Mera On The Set Of ‘Aquaman’

 

I guess Aquaman is filming. Man, can you believe they’re filming another superhero movie? This one is about a dude who can talk to fish and stuff. Cool. Amber Heard plays his wife Poison Ivy I meant Mera. His wife’s name is Mera. Here’s some pics of her from the set.

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Amber Heard And Elon Musk Are Official
Amber Heard And Elon Musk Are Official

 

Amber Heard is bisexual, but can’t be in relationships with women because women earn 70% of what men make, so after being rumored to be dating Mars guy, Elon Musk, they made it Instagram and paparazzi official this weekend. Elon Musk is very rich and has almost realistic hair plugs. He also has 5 kids, so Amber better figure out a plan for that before it gets too serious.

 

A post shared by Elon Musk (@elonmusk) on

 

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MY GOD IT’S OVER
MY GOD IT’S OVER

 

So far, 2017 isn’t much better than 2016, but the Dallas Cowboys took the L last night, but the greatest news of all might be that the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard divorce shit is finally fucking over.

 

Have a seat, Amber.

Amber was trying to delay the final divorce so she could take Johnny’s deposition, but the judge turned thumbs down in a hearing Friday, saying enough was enough.

Why did you stand up? Take another seat, Amber.

Johnny had agreed to pay Amber $7 million to settle the divorce, but Amber attempted to renegotiate the settlement. The judge ruled the $7 mil settlement stood, and that’s what she’ll get.

You too, Johnny. Oh, Amber please take a third one.

Johnny’s lawyers asked the judge to impose a $100k sanction on Amber for delaying the proceeding, but the judge rejected that. She wanted Johnny to pay her attorney’s fees but the judge said each should foot their own bills.

Both of these people are assholes, so I really don’t care what happens here. Actually, that’s a lie, because I’ve been posting about it since day one and haven’t let it go. What’s wrong with me? What have become? There’s no titties in this.

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Johnny Depp Says Amber Heard Wants To ‘Extend Her 15 Minutes Of Fame’
Johnny Depp Says Amber Heard Wants To ‘Extend Her 15 Minutes Of Fame’

 

To recap, Amber Heard and Johnny Depp agreed to a $7M divorce settlement that Heard went to great pains to let everyone know she was donating to charity because “money played no role for me personally“.  Then Heard had a meltdown when Depp gave the money directly to the charity instead of her. Then Heard released a statement saying she wasn’t a gold digger. Then immediately followed that up by submitting a Request for Order with the Los Angeles Superior Court ‘in hopes of imposing the settlement and expediting Johnny’s payment” even though both sides agreed the full amount would be paid over the course of 12 months. Now, you might want to sit down for this because it might be a shock hear: Amber Heard now wants more money.

Johnny filed legal docs saying a deal is a deal, and they already agreed on the $7 million settlement months ago. Amber recently filed legal docs asking for more, but Johnny says that ship has sailed. Johnny’s lawyer, Laura Wasser, says Amber’s move is “a blatant attempt to extend her fifteen minutes of fame” and “an embarrassing grab for additional and unwarranted attorney’s fees.” Amber is also asking to reopen the $7 million settlement.

It’s 2017, so I feel comfortable asking this, but can somebody womansplain this to me? I guess I’m not understanding.

 

 

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Johnny Depp Wants Amber Heard To Pay Down $100K Of His Legal Fees
Johnny Depp Wants Amber Heard To Pay Down $100K Of His Legal Fees

 

You thought we were all done with the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard drama, huh? Please remember we are living in 2016. Allow nothing to surprise you. Especially a violent, chemical dependent human scarf  and his insane, asshole ex-wife.

Just a few days before Christmas, the Pirates of the Caribbean star’s legal team has filed new court documents requesting the actress pay monetary sanctions. In documents obtained by E! News, Johnny’s team alleges that Amber “continues to needlessly litigate a case which has been settled, all while parading in front of the media in a desperate attempt to extend her fifteen minutes of fame.” In the event that Amber fails to contribute $100,000 to Johnny’s attorney’s fees and costs as sanctions, Johnny asks that he be allowed to deduct the same from his next equalization payment.

Man, I wonder why he feels the need to do this. Oh, this is why.

Just last week, however, Amber’s legal team filed a Request for Order with the Los Angeles Superior Court in hopes of imposing the settlement and expediting Johnny’s payment.

As you recall, when they reached the settlement in August, both sides agreed that the full amount would be paid over the course of 12 months. It’s barely been 4. I’m sure the ACLA and Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles could use $7M, but I’m also sure they’ll be able to use it in August of 2017 as well. Pretty sure they’ll be children in hospital in 2017. In the meantime, Depp’s legal team went Faith Spotted Eagle* on Amber’s ass last week (* = savage).

In this week’s latest court documents, however, Johnny’s team argues that Amber is pursuing “public litigation” even after signing a judgment. “(1)Amber wants to maintain the media’s attention and thereby preserve her own fleeting relevance, and (2) Amber wants to secure a more favorable deal than she previously negotiated,” the documents stated.

Well damn, legal team. But this is what Amber Heard said last week:

Last week, however, a declaration written by Amber addressed the issues of confidentiality. “He also claimed that I violated the confidentiality provisions of the [Deal Point Memorandum] by announcing that I was donating my settlement to charities,” she wrote. “In fact, I made those donations in good faith and I was responding to the leaks by Johnny’s agents bragging that I had settled for substantially less than a reported, earlier offered sum and attempting to label me a gold digger.”

Like, I understand Depp abused Heard in some way. We all understand that. But you know what makes people label a gold digger? When Depp donated directly to the charity instead of handing her a check causing her to have a public meltdown. Do you want the charity to get the money or not? If not, just say so. Do I want to eat this last cinnamon roll or not? Yes, yes I do.

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Amber Heard Did A Domestic Violence PSA
Amber Heard Did A Domestic Violence PSA

 

November 25 was International Day for the Elimination of Violence Towards Women, and I don’t know if  “celebrate” should be the right term to use here, but Amber Heard has a message for women who are victims of domestic violence, or anyone who knows a woman who is a victim of domestic violence. I have to say, this is her best performance to date.

 

 

In all seriousness, whatever your opinion of Amber Heard is, it should be blatantly obvious to everyone that some shit went down with her and Johnny Depp, and as a person who witnessed domestic violence as a child, I can assure you that all bruises and wounds don’t have to be visible. So if you have a few of your own and have nobody to talk you, go talk to The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Sometimes the reasons why you stay can be more powerful than the reasons why you should leave, and that’s not your fault. Nothing about this is your fault. Make a plan and find the strength I know you have. Wow, this got deep. Still true tho.

 

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Amber Heard Wore This Dress

Amber Heard attended the 2016 Glamour Women Of The Year event in LA last night, where Bono won “Woman Of The Year” for some reason. Drake should have won to be honest. Apparently there’s a shortage of acceptable women. This whole diversity thing is getting out of hand. Although my grandma wears the same kinda glasses as Bono. Also, Amber Heard didn’t win Best Achievement In Divorce Settlement as the polls indicated. She did look pretty tho. I guess that’s why women were invited?

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Here’s Amber Heard As Mera In ‘Justice League’
Here’s Amber Heard As Mera In ‘Justice League’




Only a year to go until Justice League is gets at 23% on Rotten Tomatoes, so in the meantime, here’s the first look at Amber Heard as Mera in said movie thanks to IGN. Cool. Did you look at the pic? Great. Let’s move on with our lives.


#tbt


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Amber Heard Is “Pretty Broke”, Homeless

If you want to click on Amber Heard‘s name here a relive the black magic that was the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard divorce, feel free. Life’s too short for me to do that again. Anyway, she continues to be the worst gold digger of all time.

Heard and Depp, 53, settled their divorce in mid-August, with Johnny paying Amber a $7 million settlement, which she donated to charity. However, he got to keep the pair’s LA condo where the alleged domestic violence occurred while Amber had to move out. “Right now, she’s pretty broke,” a source said. “And Johnny moved his friends into the condo they used to share.” According to the insider, his pals are acting like “guard dogs” and won’t let her retrieve her things upon her return from London. Johnny also “refuses to send her anything,” making the split even worse than previously thought.

Considering these are her monthly expensive, I assume “pretty broke” is relative here. Heard is in London right now shooting Justice League, which will eventually turn into bad publicity for her and everyone involved, so hopefully she leaks some stuff about Zack Snyder so the Warner Bros fire him. If needed, I can film it in slow motion.

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Amber Heard Lost Money In The Divorce, Is Worst Gold Digger Of All Time
Amber Heard Lost Money In The Divorce, Is Worst Gold Digger Of All Time


iO Tillett Wright is a human person who lived with Amber Heard and Johnny Depp for a year in 2014 after Wright tried to kill himself or something to that effect. I kinda skimmed through. Wright is also the person who wrote the essay, “Why I Called 911“, back in June when all this divorce/domestic violence/media leak shit started going down. He says Heard is his best friend, but has cut Depp out of his life for what we can assume are obvious reasons. He also said this:

Wright has now come out to back Heard and reveal she paid all her own legal fees and accepted a settlement that was much lower than she could have got. Discussing the fact she could have got more than the $7 million, he said: ‘And she paid her own legal fees. That situation was so public. I’m not ever going to be one of them – I’m not ever going to be an A-list celebrity. But I chose to get involved in that situation because it was imperative to say what I thought was right.’

I didn’t know it was possible to marry a millionaire in California, get abused by him, have documented evidence of the abuse, get divorced, then end up having to take out a car title loan to help out with rent and pet supplies. This is like a Lifetime Original horror movie. 

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