Amanda Seyfried’s Hacked Photos Are Her Blowing Justin Long
Amanda Seyfried’s Hacked Photos Are Her Blowing Justin Long

 

Another hacker got a bunch of naked pics of female celebrities again in what’s being called  The Fappening 2.0. Great. Emma Watson got hacked, but Emma Watson never seemed like the type to respond to “send nudes”, so all they got was her trying on bathing suits and shit. Amanda Seyfried on the other, well, she was trying on bathing suits. She wasn’t trying on bathing suits at all.

The explicit pictures allegedly show Seyfried, who is now pregnant with her first child, performing sex acts with then-boyfriend Justin Long.

I’m not going to post the pictures here, because that’s lame, but I’ve seen them. I feel sorry for Justin Long. to be honest. Because I just found out his last name is ironic. I feel sorry for Amanda Seyfried as well, but she looks great, so I hope that’s some kind of consolation. Probably not though, huh? Oh, and they have more.

The hacker promised to release X-rated photos of more than a dozen stars. Included were: Kylie Jenner, Marisa Tomei, Giada de Laurentiis and more of Jennifer Lawrence, Abigail Spencer and Victoria Justice.

Jennifer Lawrence got hit the last time, and for some reason she got hit again. Like, how many naked pics does this chick take? Does she require multiple phones for storage purposes? Did she have to send that many to get out of her X-Men contract? It just seems like she takes a lot. Her iCloud has to be on some kind of anti-anxiety meds by now.

 

Nudes

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Amanda Seyfried Is Super Pregnant

Amanda Seyfried was out shopping this week, and as you can see, she’s pretty pregnant. She’s pregnant with the baby from the husband she stole. Her boobs look twice the normal size now, so at something good has come from this. Well, I mean that and the kid if he kid isn’t an asshole. His mom also does taxidermy so if they open a hotel off the interstate, go to another one if he’s working the front desk.

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Amanda Seyfried Is Pregant
Amanda Seyfried Is Pregant

 

Amanda Seyfried is pregnant. This will be the second of three times you read that sentence in this post. People added an exclamation point.

Amanda Seyfried is pregnant! The actress announced that she is expecting at Tuesday’s Givenchy press launch for their new Live Irrésistible fragrance, which she is the spokesmodel for. At the event, Seyfried, 30, was dressed in a Givenchy black mini dress that showed off her tiny baby bump. This will be the first child for Seyfried and her fiancé, actor Thomas Sadoski.

Thomas Sadoski filed for divorce from his wife of 10 years in August 2015 after being in a play with Amanda Seyfried in April 2015. The got engaged in September 2016. She’s pregnant now. Kelly Hope is his ex-wife. And you thought your 2016 was bad.

 

 

 

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Amanda Seyfried Got Engaged
Amanda Seyfried Got Engaged


Amanda Seyfried got engaged to her The Way We Get By and The Last Word co-star, Thomas Sadoski

Love is spilling from stage to screen to the altar for Amanda Seyfried! The actress is engaged to her stage and screen co-star, Thomas Sadoski, a rep for Sadoski confirms to ET. Prior to the news, Seyfried was spotted wearing a sparkler on her ring finger while out and about in New York City on Sept. 6.

ET is very excited! How romantic! That is until you realize Sadoski had been married for 8 years when they met, got divorced, then Seyfried dumped Justin Long a month later. Congrats to the happy couple on their coordinated plot. Best wishes. 


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Amanda Seyfried Stole A Husband
Amanda Seyfried Stole A Husband


Amanda Seyfried is dating actor Thomas Sadoski who she met while doing the off-Broadway show The Way We Get By in April 2015.  Let’s do some math here:

At the time, he was married to his wife of eight years, Kimberly Hope, and Seyfried was in a relationship with movie star Justin Long…Sadoski filed for divorce from Hope on August 14, 2015…

Then Amanda Seyfried split with Justin Long a month later. That was the math I was talking about earlier. I just Googled a picture of Kimberly Hope, so I definitely get it. Like, eight years? Enough is enough, man. Especially since he got to see this every night (NSFW):



That really wasn’t a difficult decision, right? I mean, it wasn’t. Like not at all. Oh, and they’re currently shooting a movie together called The Last Word, where I assume he tries to fuck her as much as possible between takes. If not, then this whole post was kind of a waste of time.


Here’s Amanda Seyfried on set of The Last Word where she seems to be just standing around. Where you at, Thomas? Don’t make us all regret this. By the way, if that video makes you want to look up Amanda Seyfried topless pics, I got you. Those linked words will take you there. No need to thank me. I do all this for you. 


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Amanda Seyfried Is Single

Sad news today, friends. I didn’t know Amanda Seyfried and Justin Long had been dating since 2013. I’m really bad at this. Good thing her freakishly big eyes saw this coming for like six months. Seriously. What’s up with her eyes? She’s like an owl you’d bang.

Amanda Seyfried and Justin Long are back to walking red carpets solo…“It happened a few weeks ago,” a source close to the couple reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “He’s really heartbroken.” While Long, 37, declared on the Today show in 2014 that the couple was “in it for the long haul,” another source says their relationship has been quietly unraveling. “They had different schedules and different lives,” explains the source. “They just grew apart.”

Justin Long has also put his penis in this, so my sympathy is only gonna last until I get to the end of this sentence. That would be now. It’s now.  He’s outkicked his coverage enough for a dude who does the voice of Alvin. Sorry, bro. Sometimes the universe corrects itself. And since this is an Amanda Seyfried post, I’d like to remind everyone again that she has a dead horse in her house.


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Amanda Seyfried Has Cornrows Now

I met Amanda Seyfried in 2012 at a bar in LA, and by “met”, I mean we stood next to each other at the bar waiting for drinks. And Josh Harnett had on a wool beanie, two jackets, and a scarf. In Los Angeles. Anyway, she’s about 4’5″ and looks like she weighs 80 pounds, with 40 of that being tits. Long story short, she’s blonde, skinny, and has huge tits. Awesome. She also does taxidermy and wore cornrows to the Ted 2 premiere. Everything I said two sentences ago is now meaningless.

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Amanda Seyfried Said She Lost Roles For Being Too Fat

Amanda Seyfried is “overweight”? She obviously didn’t audition for  Under The Skin.

Amanda Seyfried is not fat — but Hollywood once thought she was. The Les Miserables actress took to her Twitter last month and admitted to followers that she almost didn’t land roles because she was considered “overweight.” “Fun fact: I almost lost out on several roles in my career because I was overweight. Wrong, America,” the slender blonde tweeted on Oct. 19. Although she didn’t specify which roles exactly, Seyfried’s hinted in the past about certain roles requiring her to be at a certain weight.

I met Amanda Seyfried in a bar in LA once in 2012, and she’s probably 90 pounds. 45 of those are tits are eyeballs, so I’m not sure how anybody could ever call her fat. On the other hand, can we please stop blaming Barbie dolls and Victoria’s Secrets models for how you feel about your body? Barbie dolls teach little girls unrealistic views of body image? Cool. You know what toy I had growing up? This guy. And not once did I feel pressured by society to get swole or keep a secret from my parents. Or have a best friend who was a girl. Or get “fabulous powers” once I touched a “magic sword” for the first time (see the secret from parents thing). I did have a pet cat though.

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Amanda Seyfried Loves Doing Sex Scenes, Megan Fox
Amanda Seyfried Loves Doing Sex Scenes, Megan Fox

 

As I pointed out earlier, Amanda Seyfried enjoys taxidermy. Like Norman Bates. That means she's probably crazy. In bed. She's probably crazy in bed. DAMN YOU, PENIS! Anyway, here's some quotes from her interview with W Magazine. The more I think about it, that whole taxidermy thing isn't really a dealbreaker.

On her love for sex scenes:
"I love acting like I'm in love! Sex scenes are great. A lot of my costars have been sexy guys my age who are really respectful and cool. So, why not? I'm not going to pretend it's not fun."

On making out with Megan Fox in Jennifer's Body :
"We kissed really well together. We have similar kissing styles! I watched the scene, it's actually really sexy… We got it done for the masses, and, sadly, the masses didn't show up."

Not to point out the obvious here, but the best part of Jennifer's Body was her scene with Megan Fox, and the rest of it was just Diablo Cody smoking about three bowls before she wrote any dialogue and scene transitions. But more to the point, Amanda Seyfried is cool with sex scenes and getting naked. Turns out I'm cool with the fact that she's cool with that. The only thing I'm not cool with right now is my new HOA fees. $450 a month? Bro, are we installing a moat and drawbridge soon? I don't get it.

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Amanda Seyfried Took A Knife On A Plane, Tweeted TSA
Amanda Seyfried Took A Knife On A Plane, Tweeted TSA

 

Possibly distracted by her huge rack, Amanda Seyfried managed to get through a TSA checkpoint and onto a commercial flight with a Swiss Army knife on Friday. Normally you shouldn't be scared of tiny white girls with knives, but you know what Amanda Seyfried does for fun? Taxidermy. Amanda Seyfried stuffs dead animals in her spare time. I met her once at The Village Idiot, and she looked like I could pick her up and put her in my pocket even though she had on heels. And Josh Harnett was wearing two scarves. Not sure where I'm going with this, but taxidermy is weird. Is that owl looking at me? That owl is looking at me. Look, get up for a second. Now just…no, flip your leg over that way. Ok, now sit back down on it. Yeah, just bend over and….there ya go. There ya go…yeah….like that.

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