Ali Lohan Denies Plastic Surgery

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This might not be the best idea. Radar Online reports:

Despite the shocking transformation of her young face, Ali Lohan is adamantly denying that she’s had plastic surgery. Lindsay Lohan’s 17-year-old little sis, who is signed with NEXT Model Management, slammed the idea that she’s gone under the knife, despite pictures that show off her shockingly skinny and seemingly altered frame and face. “It’s stupid,” Aliana (as she wants to be called) said. “I don’t listen to it. It’s absolutely not true.” Gracing the cover of the New York Post’s Page Six magazine she said she thought it was funny that people said she’s had surgery. “I was cracking up. Because, like, when would I do that? I’m 17 years old.” As RadarOnline.com previously reported, plastic surgeon, Dr. Gary Alter, who has not treated Ali, says that she looks like she’s had Botox treatments. “It’s obvious to me that her eyebrows are higher than they were before,” Dr. Alter said. “There doesn’t appear to be much movement on her forehead, and she looks like she has had Botox. “Botox can actually raise eyebrows and get some of the wrinkles out.” However, Ali insisted that her mother Dina would never have let her get surgery. “That’s not legal! I would need my mother’s signature, and do you think my mom would ever sign off on that? No!’”

A parental signature when you look 39 isn’t likely, but whatever. Considering she’s heavily rumored to have done coke and take Lindsay to bars with her when she was underage, I don’t think legality is of any concern to Dina Lohan. In any case, whether she had surgery or not, Ali might be better off just saying that she did. And that the doctor was farsighted. It’ll probably earn her more sympathy than just being hideous.

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Ali Lohan Is Just Awkward

New photos led to speculation that Ali Lohan had plastic surgery. Her mom and her reps deny it. Her doctors probably do, too. Us Weekly reports:

Dina Lohan, insists otherwise — telling Us Weekly any plastic surgery rumors are “absolutely not true!” And Ali’s publicist is also adament (sic). “Aliana has never had any type of plastic surgery in her life, nor has she ever considered it,” rep Steve Honig tells Us Weekly. “Her success as a model lies with her natural looks and she has no interest in changing that.” (Lindsay Lohan’s little sister signed a multi-year contract with NEXT Model Management last month.) So why does Ali’s face look so different? “During the past two years, she has gone through a normal teenage growth spurt that has made her taller and slimmer. It has also slightly changed the composure of her face, all of which is typical of what happens to kids in their mid to late teens,” Honig explains. “It’s what most people refer to as the awkward stage. Ali is growing up, that’s all.”

Unless she’s growing up in Auschwitz, I wouldn’t call this an awkward stage. I’d call it a cokewhore stage mom and a farsighted plastic surgeon.

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The Thing On The Right Is Ali Lohan Now

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[Ali Lohan] represents the future face of fashion and will be a photographer’s dream with her chameleon-like beauty. Ali will set herself apart as a bone fide icon. One that fashion fans will follow not because of her famous last name, but because of the beautiful images and fashion trends she is helping create.” – NEXT LA Director Alexis Borges last month after Ali Lohan signed a multi-year modeling contract with NEXT Model Management.

I’ve never heard of NEXT Model Management, but they should probably revisit their workplace drug policy.

Comment #16, ftw:

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Ali Lohan Got A Modeling Contract. Ali. Lohan.

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Because a failed attempt at a Lindsay Lohan is sure to set the fashion world on fire. Radar Online reports:

RadarOnline.com has confirmed that Lindsay Lohan’s younger sister Ali has signed a contract to be a model with the famous agency NEXT Model Management, who have represented stars like Miranda Kerr, Petra Nemcova and Molly Sims. “In Fashion, Ali will set herself apart as a bonefide icon. One that fashion fans will follow not because of her famous last name, but because of the beautiful images and fashion trends she is helping create,” Alexis Borges, Director, Next LA tells RadarOnline.com. “It’s been a long time coming, she’s so beautiful and I think she will do very well,” her proud father Michael Lohan exclusively told RadarOnline.com.

Totally. Because nothing says “beautiful” and “bonefide icon” like this and this. Oh, and this. How many hits of acid are we supposed to take before we look at any of her campaigns? Will NEXT Model Management being sending them through the mail on sugar cubes or on regular paper? Is she modeling masks? A lot of questions need to be answered before I understand why anybody would ever fucking do this.

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Lindsay Lohan Is The Trainwreck Formerly Known As Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is dropping her last name because she hates her dad. And because she can. From PopEater:

Diddy did it. So did Madonna and Prince, and now you can add Lindsay Lohan to the list of celebrities who are opting for a single moniker, with the troubled star’s mom, Dina, confirming to me that Lindsay plans to remove “Lohan” from her official name.

“Lindsay is dropping the Lohan and just going by Lindsay,” Dina tells me, exclusively. “Plus, me and [younger daughter] Ali will be officially changing our last names back to my maiden name, Sullivan.”

Lindsay had been thinking about dropping her surname for some time but at first thought no one would know who she was. It was only after the infamous Super Bowl E-trade advertisement referring to a baby as “that milkaholic Lindsay,” that the actress knew she no longer needed it.

“So many of the greatest people in showbiz are known by just their first name. Look at Oprah and Beyonce. Now you can add Lindsay to that list,” a family friend tells me. “And it’s a way for them all to start over. No one in the family want anything to do with Lindsay’s father [Michael Lohan] anymore and that includes sharing a last name.”

Of course, Michael Lohan denied everything.

Michael responded with a clear denial later Friday during a visit to Jane Velez-Mitchell’s hit HLN show. “I don’t think it’s true at all,” he said. “I would never imagine any of my kids changing their name, especially Lindsay.”

While I admit it makes sense for Dina Lohan to change her last name (she’s been divorced for years), I don’t see this working out. Despite releasing some shitty albums before getting dropped from her label, Lindsay isn’t known for being a pop star, and this isn’t a smart move for a would-be film star. Beyonce, Prince, Diddy, and Madonna are known for their talent, their longevity, and their brands. Lindsay is known for her addictions to Captain, coke, cock, and cuffs. She may want to focus on getting work before worrying about how many Ls are in the marquee.

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Ali Lohan Is A Gorgeous Model



Since Lindsay Lohan’s 6126 clothing line can’t afford an actual model, here’s Ali Lohan modeling for Asexual Fancy the company’s spring/summer 2011 collection. Even with a Spartan army of stylists and Photoshop with an alien technology plugin, this chick still looks like a Bizarro Lindsay, so I’m not really sure they actually want people to buy these clothes. They can’t, right? Because based on these pictures, it would take a truck winch and a passage from the Necronomicon to get my penis interested in anything going on here.

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Harder Please



I don’t know if they were trying to be ironic or sarcastic when they invited Lindsay Lohan to something called “Muscle Milk Light Retreat” this weekend. I have no idea what goes on there, but apparently Lindsay got to spar with Vera De Milo. She’s a world famous body builder, you know.

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Aye Aye Eyebrows



Ali Lohan was in London this week with what appears to be eyebrows she removed from a 19th century Spanish painter. Her whore gauge is almost on full, so when she hits 18 expect to see her on something more Lohan style. Like a milk carton or on stage with a donkey for example.

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Whore: The Next Generation



Lindsay Lohan will be dead soon, because it’s only matter of time before they find her wrapped in a tarp in that landfill because she tried to pay for blow with Yu-Gi-Oh! cards or a piece of green construction paper that she wrote “COKE MONEY” on, so luckily for us her sister Ali is ready to step in immediately. Not so luckily for us, on the other hand, is that she looks like pieces of dead homeless jr. high girls that a scientist stitched together to make a Lindsay. And one of those jr. high girls should have went bigger on the implants. Who knows, maybe that’s why she died. Chicks with small tits are known thieves and prone to other criminal acts.

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