Jennifer Lopez Is Banging Alex Rodriguez
Jennifer Lopez Is Banging Alex Rodriguez

 

Earlier this week it was reported that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got back together, then it was reported that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner called off their divorce. Then it was reported that Drake started crying. Not sure about that last one. It feels true. Now it’s being reported that Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are dating. Alex Rodriguez used to play baseball really good now he doesn’t.

The “On the Floor” singer, 47, is dating former MLB star Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez, a source confirms to PEOPLE. “They have been dating for a few weeks,” the source said. “She seems excited,” a source close to Lopez told PEOPLE. “He has been around her family and she really likes that he is a dad. She is aware, though, that he is a ladies’ man too and is being cautious. For now, it’s just fun. She is single and enjoys dating.”

Both of their last names end in “z”, and if you add about eight more, that would pretty much sum up my thoughts on this. This is news and I guess I’m supposed to tell you about it or whatever. Here’s some pictures if you’re not asleep.

 

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Alex Rodriguez Is Up In This

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Alex Rodriguez prefers blondes who are randomly tested for HGH, so we can totally believe the new rumor that he’s dating former WWE and WCW wrestler Torrie Wilson. People reports:

After former WWE beauty Stacy Keibler got a grasp on George Clooney, her pal Torrie Wilson, a former wrestling diva and a 2004 Playboy cover model, has been spending time with New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. Before Christmas, all four joined other friends on a getaway to Cabo San Lucas, and Rodriguez and Wilson, both 36, on another occasion reportedly were seen riding bicycles in Miami. Then on Monday, Rodriquez and Wilson were working out in the same gym in her hometown of Boise, Idaho, says local TV anchor Mike Murad, who was also in the gym and Tweeted a photo of Rodriguez on an exercise bike. “I did speak with him briefly,” Murad tells the Idaho Statesman. “He didn’t tell me why he was here, but did tell me he was trying to keep a low profile.”

Besides every episode of Jackass, wrestling is probably the most homoerotic thing on television, so this really won’t do anything to stop the “Alex Rodriguez is gay” thing. Please keep in mind that this was best picture I could find of Torrie Wilson. I mean, she technically has tits, but let’s be honest, so does a cow.

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A-Rod Needs A Friend

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Alex Rodriguez needs to pay somebody to remind him he’s Alex Rodriguez, because he’s now dating Cameron Diaz. New York Post reports:

Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz have had a series of secret dates following their flirtation at the Creative Artists Agency Super Bowl party in February. The couple secretly saw each other in Florida while A-Rod was at spring training, according to Life & Style. “A-Rod’s with Cameron. They’ve been keeping it quiet, but they’re totally together,” a source told the weekly.

This dude is the highest paid player in MLB history and plays for one of the most storied franchises to have ever existed, and the best piece of celebrity ass he’s had is Kate Hudson. A thirty-year old single mom. What the fuck is this guy doing? If I was Alex Rodriguez, my morning would start by tripping over Kelly Brook and Blake Lively on my way to the bathroom after I wake up on top of two 19-year old twins who are late for a meeting with Elite.

NOTE
: I need Desmond to be my constant to figure out the logic behind the email I just got calling me a hypocrite by comparing this post with the Elin one, so let me clear this up. When you’re married, you fuck your wife. When you’re not married, you fuck everyone else. I hope that helps.

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Kate Hudson Is Clingy



Kate Hudson and the Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez have been dating for five months, and when she’s not at the games or traveling with the team, she’s in Alex Rodriguez’s apartment cutting up pictures of his ex-girlfriends and sleeping with his underwear. MSNBC reports:

“Kate’s always at his New York apartment, even on the days when he’s on the road. She’s made herself quite comfortable in his life. She’s met his oldest daughter and her son likes Alex,” according to a friend of Hudson’s who spoke to In Touch. The friend then stated the obvious when she said, “Kate has become very serious about him.”

Alex Rodriguez makes $26M a year as the highest paid player in Major League Baseball, but the last three chicks he’s been with (his wife, Madonna, and Kate Hudson) all look like convict’s pen pals. This dude should be papier macheing models with $100 dollar bills and semen, not leaving some flat chick in his house picking out their kid’s names and making scrapbooks for every time she cums. I’m late on my rent right now, but my last three girlfriends were a billion times hotter than these hags. The prosecutor in my case doesn’t use the word “girlfriends”, but what does he know of love?

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Madonna and A-Rod Have a Secret



People seem to be surprised how fast Madonna has moved on with Alex Rodriguez so quickly after her divorce from Guy Ritchie was announced earlier this week. I guess having a secret apartment in NYC since 2007 where she would meet Rodriguez may have something to do with that. OK! Magazine (via FOX News) reports:

“the Material Girl was making frequent trips to a NYC building back in July of 2007, where New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez had an apartment! Columnist Roger Friedman writes that in July 2007, A-Rod “had sublet a ‘secret love shack’ in the Time Warner Center. I confirmed that Madonna was a frequent guest to the building, which was a very different address from the apartment A-Rod shared with his now ex-wife.” Friedman goes on to say that the Time Warner building is just “a couple of blocks away from Madonna’s digs on Central Park West.” That same Time Warner apartment, owned by a New York lawyer, is reportedly still occupied by Rodriguez.”

So for over a year now, Madonna has been hooking up with Alex Rodriguez in secret. And this year the New York Yankees missed the playoffs for the first time in 15 years. Coincidence? Not sure. But if you’re a Yankees fan, training a leopard to attack anything in New York wearing a Kabbalah bracelet and a leotard might not be a bad idea.

Madonna performing last night in Boston:

Photos: Splash

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Madonna is Dating Alex Rodriguez



After spending an inappropriate amount of time with New Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez earlier this year, Madonna insisted the pair were just friends. Then Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce. On October 2nd, Madonna had dinner with Alex Rodriguez in New York City. Madonna’s divorce was announced yesterday. Stop me if you’re seeing a pattern. Us Magazine reports:

“Guy is not involved in this equation,” the insider tells Usmagazine.com. “With or without A-Rod, Madonna and Guy haven’t been ‘together’ for over a year – they have been privately separated. Madonna, however, wanted to finish her world tour before divorcing.” An A-Rod source tells Us, “A-Rod and Madonna are more involved than ever. “Alex has really missed spending time with Madonna. However, he understands the position Madonna’s in.” The source tells Us six days ago that Madonna — who dined with Rodriguez Oct. 2 at Dos Caminos in NYC — “has agreed to be discreet about her relationship with A-Rod until her tour ends and a divorce is announced.”

Just to help you with the basic math, in twenty years, Alex Rodriquez will be 53 and enjoying life after his fairly recent induction into the Hall of Fame. Also in twenty years, Madonna will be cyrogenically frozen two miles underground on a military base. Will their love be able to last? Man, I sure do hope so.

Madonna and Guy in February:

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Alex Rodriguez is Single



Days after reports that Yankees shortstop, Alex Rodriguez, was having an affair with Madonna, he and his wife of five years, Cynthia, have split after months of ongoing marriage problems. Problems that may arise when your wife is banging Lenny Kravitz. New York Daily News reports:

Word of the breakup comes a day after widespread reports that the Bombers’ $275 million cleanup hitter has been rounding the bases with pop icon Madonna – and team owner Hank Steinbrenner blamed recent poor play on “outside distractions.” “It’s true,” the source said of A-Rod’s separation from his wife of five years. “They’ve been having problems for about three months.” Word of the couple’s marital strife comes less than three months after they expressed how “thrilled” they were with the April 21 birth of their daughter, Ella Alexander. Rodriguez, 32, didn’t join his wife in Miami until 10 minutes after she gave birth, and spent only a day with her and their newborn before rejoining the Yankees. Revelations of the couple’s not-so-great-nuptials came as new rumors surfaced on the Internet that Cynthia Rodriguez, 34, was having a fling with rocker Lenny Kravitz.”

Alex Rodriguez makes $28 million a year in base salary alone, so something inside me thinks he just might be able to pull through this. He could probably spend his nights crying in his bed, but the chances of him spending the rest of the summer papier macheing models with $100 dollar bills and semen seem pretty good, too.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie in NYC on July 1st:

Photos: Splash

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