Alessandra Ambrosio Is Here To Support Luggage

Luggage manufacturer RIMOWA opened their first store in NYC and apparently that’s some sort of big deal, because Alessandra Ambrosio and a bunch of other people attended. The “bunch of other people” are not pictured here, because as you just read, we really don’t need to see other people getting excited about luggage when Alessandra Ambrosio was also there and excited about luggage. I’m sure Jared Leto and Melissa George are nice people, but their level of excitement over luggage doesn’t really interest me. I hope that doesn’t make me a bad person.

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Here’s Some People Who Went To Coachella

I'm almost positive the tweakers at Coachella crashed Instagram this weekend leaving girls who took pictures of their thighs at the pool to be so done over having to wait to post them. So, if you haven't seen enough Coachella pics yet, hey, here's some more. Wow! How exciting!

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Hey, Here’s Candice Swanepoel, Karlie Kloss, And Alessandra Ambrosio



Maybe it’s my raging sinus infection that I have that will eventually burn me out from the fever and cause me to rise with a taste for human flesh, but I’d like to lick everything in these pictures. Even that pillow in the back.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Is In A Bikini



Alessandra Ambrosio is in St Baths shooting for Victoria’s Secret right now, and as you can see, this is why she gets paid to wear bikinis and lingerie. I know some of you say she needs to eat a sandwich, but I guess you should have thought about that before you ate them all, fatass.


Photo credit = WENN

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The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Was Last Night



I could spend a lot of time writing text you won’t bother reading, so instead I’d just like to wish all the ladies out there Happy Eating Disorder Day!

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Alessandra Ambrosio Wants You To Look At This Bra



Alessandra Ambrosio was in NYC to reveal the ‘The Floral Fantasy Bra’ designed by London Jewelers yesterday, and in other news, Jessica Simpson was in Los Angeles to reveal her Sizzler groupon to a cashier.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Went Shopping



Victoria’s Secret legend Alessandra Ambrosio went shopping in Los Angeles yesterday. As you look at these pictures, try to remember that she’s had two kids in the last four years. One was on May 7, 2012. Jessica Simpson’s was born on May 1, 2012. It should be obvious to everyone now that Alessandra is an evil sorceress who practices the dark art of diet and regular physical activity.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Showed Up Somewhere
Alessandra Ambrosio Showed Up Somewhere



I don’t know what Fashion’s Night Out is, mostly because my grandma makes all my clothes, but apparently it’s important enough that Alessandra Ambrosio will show up in a short dress and wink and stuff. So in case anybody was wondering, I just tattooed “Fashion’s Night Out” on my penis. Well, if I can be honest, I could only get “FA” on it But my grandma says women don’t care about that kind of thing and that lucky lady will love me one day. Especially if I keep wearing sweaters. I look handsome in sweaters.

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Minka Kelly Has A Sex Tape

Hold on to your penises. Someone is reportedly trying to sell a sex tape staring Minka Kelly and an ex-boyfriend… but it may never see the light of day because there is a chance she wasn’t legal when it was shot.

TMZ reports:

The [30 minute] tape is shot in a semi-professional manner. The camera is secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera.

It’s unclear how old Minka was when the tape was shot. Two songs from Brandy’s second album, “Never Say Never,” are playing in the background. The album was released on June 8, 1998 – 16 days before Minka’s 18th birthday. But one source questioned whether the song was added after the fact to make it appear she was over 18. [But] that’s not possible, because we now know Minka is singing and dancing to the songs in the video.

(more…)

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