Maybe it’s my raging sinus infection that I have that will eventually burn me out from the fever and cause me to rise with a taste for human flesh, but I’d like to lick everything in these pictures. Even that pillow in the back.
Alessandra Ambrosio is in St Baths shooting for Victoria’s Secret right now, and as you can see, this is why she gets paid to wear bikinis and lingerie. I know some of you say she needs to eat a sandwich, but I guess you should have thought about that before you ate them all, fatass.
Photo credit = WENN
I could spend a lot of time writing text you won’t bother reading, so instead I’d just like to wish all the ladies out there Happy Eating Disorder Day!
Alessandra Ambrosio was in NYC to reveal the ‘The Floral Fantasy Bra’ designed by London Jewelers yesterday, and in other news, Jessica Simpson was in Los Angeles to reveal her Sizzler groupon to a cashier.
Victoria’s Secret legend Alessandra Ambrosio went shopping in Los Angeles yesterday. As you look at these pictures, try to remember that she’s had two kids in the last four years. One was on May 7, 2012. Jessica Simpson’s was born on May 1, 2012. It should be obvious to everyone now that Alessandra is an evil sorceress who practices the dark art of diet and regular physical activity.
I don’t know what Fashion’s Night Out is, mostly because my grandma makes all my clothes, but apparently it’s important enough that Alessandra Ambrosio will show up in a short dress and wink and stuff. So in case anybody was wondering, I just tattooed “Fashion’s Night Out” on my penis. Well, if I can be honest, I could only get “FA” on it But my grandma says women don’t care about that kind of thing and that lucky lady will love me one day. Especially if I keep wearing sweaters. I look handsome in sweaters.
Hold on to your penises. Someone is reportedly trying to sell a sex tape staring Minka Kelly and an ex-boyfriend… but it may never see the light of day because there is a chance she wasn’t legal when it was shot.
The [30 minute] tape is shot in a semi-professional manner. The camera is secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera.
It’s unclear how old Minka was when the tape was shot. Two songs from Brandy’s second album, “Never Say Never,” are playing in the background. The album was released on June 8, 1998 – 16 days before Minka’s 18th birthday. But one source questioned whether the song was added after the fact to make it appear she was over 18. [But] that’s not possible, because we now know Minka is singing and dancing to the songs in the video.
Ron Perlman will make you cry [The Superficial]
Mila Kunis went to the gym [Popoholic]
Hailey Baldwin is the only good thing Stephen Baldwin ever made [Hollywood Tuna]
Demi Lovato should probably cover up her bottom half (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Tom Hanks is 56 [Dlisted]
Tom Cruise‘s top 15 Scientology quotes [Celebuzz]
Michael Fassbender is making Assassin’s Creed [Celebitchy]
The best of Brazilian bikini bums [COED Magazine]
If Barack Obama and Mitt Romney had Facebook as teenagers [College Humor]
This is why Americans are huge [The Chive]
Selena Gomez looks like she got dumped [Moe Jackson]
Jessica Simpson hasn’t lost any weight [Celebslam]
This is Megan Fox as a 12-year-old [The Blemish]
Everyone still hates Paris Hilton [Evil Beet Gossip]
Jersey Shore as we know it is finally over [Amy Gindhouse]
Katie Holmes is improved [Egotastic]
Candice Swanepoel does dominatrix [Cityrag]
Justin Bieber wrote a song about his not-baby mama [Popcrush]
Katy Perry‘s movie bombed [Film Drunk]
Ernest Borgnine died [Allie Is Wired]
The dark side of dating on the internet: feminists, Canadians, and magicbuttcrack need not apply [okWeirdo]
Unlike the thing that obviously cooked too long in Jessica Simpson, Alessandra Ambrosio put a bunch of pics of her actual cute kid, Noah, on Facebook yesterday. I guess that happens when your mom is a Victoria’s Secret model. And if you want to hate this kid more, understand that this kid’s face has already been in Alessandra Ambrosio’s vagina.