Alec Baldwin Got Arrested On A Bicycle
Alec Baldwin Got Arrested On A Bicycle

 

White people love riding bicycles and Alec Baldwin loves flying into unhinged rages, so a perfect storm was created when Alec Baldwin was issued a citation for riding his bike the wrong way then subsequently arrested for disorderly conduct because he doesn't understand why he has to follow laws and stuff.

Actor Alec Baldwin was arrested Tuesday and issued two summonses — one for disorderly conduct — after riding a bicycle the wrong way on a New York street, police said. The "30 Rock" star allegedly became angry and started yelling at police after they asked him for identification to give him a summons, police said. The other summons was for riding a bike against the flow of traffic. Baldwin is to appear in court July 24. "Police stated that he got belligerent and started arguing with them and using profanity," Deputy Chief Kim Y. Royster said. Baldwin was not carrying identification and police took him into custody, police said. The actor reportedly became angry at the officers, yelling "Give me the summons already," a law enforcement official said.

Per the usual, Alec Baldwin threw a temper tantrum on Twitter and was a deranged lunatic at the police precint.

After his release, Baldwin took to Twitter, posting the badge number of the officer he said arrested him and saying, "photographers outside my home ONCE AGAIN terrified my daughter and nearly hit her with a camera. The police did nothing." In another tweet, he lamented, "New York City is a mismanaged carnival of stupidity that is desperate for revenue and anxious to criminalize behavior once thought benign." Once in custody, Baldwin was taken to a nearby precinct, where he reportedly asked the desk supervisor: "How old are these officers, that they don't know who I am?" according to a law enforcement official.

Alec Baldwin has reached the level of liberalism where he now sees every insitution of authority as the enemy, but I hate to break it to you, this wasn't a government conspiracy designed to subjugate bike riders, you were just a douche who couldn't be bothered to obey NYC traffic laws. That being said, how's your daughter doing? She still single? Tell her to hit me up on Facebook.

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Alec Baldwin Had A Complete Meltdown Last Night

Alec Baldwin and his wife, 29-year old yoga instructor Hilaria Baldwin, attended James Gandolfini's funeral at Cathedral Church of Saint John the Divine in New York yesterday morning, and while everyone was grieving, Hilaria allegedly thought it would be a good idea to hop on Twitter and retweet stories about herself, talk about smoothie recipes, and ask for anniversary shopping tips. No big deal. James Gandolfini was just in a dead in a casket in the same room. What does he care? Apparently someone did, because after the funeral, reporter George Stark (not of House of Stark) wrote a story about it for Daily Mail. Including the below timeline:

8-ish am: Mrs Baldwin retweeted an Us Weekly link about herself

8:47am: Tweeted about making smoothies on Rachael Ray. She then retweeted a Rachael Ray about her own beach bag packing tips

9:53am: She joked that Billy Joel’s ex-wife has good smoothie recipies

About 10am: Around the time the funeral is scheduled to start, she retweets Rachael Ray again, this time about her smoothies

10:17am: Tweets about the circle of life as James’ friends are speaking at his funeral

11:09am: She tweets asking for shopping tips for an anniversary present as Rev. Dr. Kowalski addressed the congregation

3:49pm: She insists that she doesn't 'believe in bringing phones into a funeral' adding, 'I never did and I never would'

Then….Alec Baldwin read the story. And became completely and fantastically unhinged on Twitter:

“George Stark, you lying little b—-h. I am gonna f%#@ you up,”

“My wife and I attend a funeral to pay our respects to an old friend, and some toxic Brit writes this f—ing trash"

“(I’d) put my foot up your f—king ass, George Stark, but I’m sure you’d dig it too much"

“I’m gonna find you, George Stark, you toxic little queen, and I’m gonna f—k…you…up.”

“I don’t have a publicist anymore. I fired them.”

“How much of this shit are people supposed to take? With these f—king blatant lies EVERY DAY,”

“My wife DID NOT use her phone, in any capacity, at our friends funeral. Now, f—k this twitter + good luck to all of you who know the truth.”

He then immediately deleted his Twitter account. Hilaria is now claiming she and Alec left through a side exit because she's pregnant and was feeling faint because of the heat, so we can probably let the slide. Mostly because pregnancy induces a form of psychosis that scientists have yet to fully understand. Basically anything a woman does while she's pregnant should be stricken from the official record because their minds have been hijacked by hormones and the life-sucking force growing inside of her. So if you're walking down the street and see a pregnant woman crying while she's skinning a mountain lion and using the hide to make reusable diapers, just smile, nod, keep walking, and avoid eye contact. Because what she's doing makes perfect sense in her head.

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Cool Hair, Bro


Let me preface this by saying that 30 Rock is one of my favorite shows and that mostly due to Alec Baldwin. So it’s a little weird that he’s suddenly Justin Bieber. He should be power clashing and drinking scotch, not trying to audition for a retirement home boy band.

Photo credit = WENN

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Taking A Picture Of Alec Baldwin Looks Profitable





Here’s photographer Steve Sands being attacked and thrown to the ground after having the audacity to take a picture of Alec Baldwin on a public street. I mean, I guess he’s still a photographer. After his lawsuit, he’ll be Steve Sands: International Man of Mystery known for riding around Los Angeles on his gold-plated Pegasus throwing money into the streets from his printing press. He might also have a monocle and a trident. There’s a lot of ways he can go with this.

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Alec Baldwin Got Kicked Off An American Airlines Flight For Playing Words With Friends

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So, yeah. This just happened. NY Daily News reports:

Alec Baldwin was booted from an American Airlines flight Tuesday after some turbulence with a flight attendant. “Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving,” the actor said in a Twitter message after the incident. The “30 Rock” star added a hashtag saying it was “no wonder” the airline recently declared bankruptcy. “But, oddly, 30 Rock plays in-flight on American,” he said in a later tweet, this time promoting competing airline United with the hashtag “#theresalwaysunited.” The cabin confrontation started when a flight staffer scolded Baldwin for playing the addictive Scrabble-like game on his iPad while the airplane was still at the gate, not moving, a source familiar with the situation told the Daily News. He later demanded the flight attendant’s name, and the conflict escalated, the source said. The actor, 53, was being rebooked on a later American Airlines flight after his removal, Baldwin tweeted. Word of the ejection spread at supersonic speed as other passengers posted on Twitter, apparently committing the same offense as Baldwin.

He’s tweeting non-stop about it right now, and his defense, it was kinda a bitch move by American Airlines. But more to the point, I bet Herman Cain really sucks at Words With Friends. There’s no U in “economy”, dude.

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Alec Baldwin Has Good Taste



Alec Baldwin was at a gala celebrating 30 years of PETA where he talked about the evils of wearing fur as a thinly-veiled excuse to say that he really wants to see Blake Lively naked. Digital Spy reports:
“These younger girls, whether they get naked or not, are the biggest stars, who are the role models,” he told E! News. “I’m a big fan of [Blake Lively]. I think she’s a really really gorgeous woman, very stylish. These are the ones who have all the influence.” Subtly referring to the troubled Mean Girls star, Baldwin added: “There are certain people who, I won’t name, but they are in and out of rehab, they’re getting arrested for drug use and they’re twittering about their drug problem – it’s a shame. I think those people had a real opportunity to fill a certain role in society and they didn’t necessarily step up, but those that are I think it’s a great thing if they get involved with anti-fur or anti-animal testing.”

Although Alec Baldwin supports PETA and is a raging psychopath in real life, he had the greatest cameo in movie history so he will always get a pass from me. You know who doesn’t get a pass from me? Steve Smith. Or from any quarterback on his team. Mainly because John Fox thinks the Panthers are playing in leather helmets and that a draw play on 3rd & 8 is a good idea. If I ever saw the Panthers line up in a 5 wide formation, I’d look like a squirrel who was just handed a pencil and asked to solve the Poincaré conjecture.

A cameo role or cameo appearance (often shortened to just cameo) is a brief appearance of a known person in a work of the performing arts, such as plays, films, video games[1] and television. These roles are generally small, many of them non-speaking ones, and they’re commonly either appearances in a work in which they hold some special significance (such as actors from an original movie appearing in its remake), or renowned people making uncredited appearances.

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Alec Baldwin Feels Really Bad



Alec Baldwin will appear on The View in a taped segment tomorrow in which he claims he is so distraught over the custody battle that led him to leave the voicemail for his daughter, Ireland, that he has asked to leave his show, 30 Rock. Page Six reports:

Baldwin, interviewed yesterday by Barbara Walters and Rosie O’Donnell for a segment to air tomorrow on “The View,” was described as “soft-spoken, apologetic and thoughtful” during the chat. “He said he asked to be released from his contract,” Baldwin’s spokesman, Matthew Hiltzik, told Page Six. “NBC is not releasing him, and he will fulfill his contract.” Baldwin said that when he left an angry voice mail for Ireland calling her “a rude, thoughtless little pig,” he was inappropriately directing feelings that should have been expressed to Kim.”

This should be a great interview because Barbara Walters is known for her hard-hitting questions. Just ask Hugo Chavez. He was sweating and squirming in his seat when Barbara asked him about his love life and if he liked coffee. There’s no way Alec can stand that kind of interrogation. Barbara will have him so completely flabbergasted, he won’t even be able to talk when Rosie asks him if he feels his freedoms are threatened now that he knows that Osama Bin Laden is at the White House frozen in carbonite, or that Bigfoot blew up the WTC Towers under orders from the CIA.

Kim Basinger hotness:

Note: Alec Baldwin is an asshole, but as one of our readers previously pointed out, this is probably the greatest cameo in movie history.

Update: Here’s the segment which aired today. Thanks, TMZ!

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Alec Baldwin is a Great Dad

The above audio is a voice mail left by Alec Baldwin to his 11-year old daughter, Ireland, last Wednesday. Embroiled in a heated custody battle since 2001, Baldwin’s representative said:

Although Alec acknowledges that he should have used different language in parenting his child, everyone who knows him privately knows what he has been put through for the past six years.”

No offense Alec, but nobody gives a fuck. It’s pretty clear from the audio that you’re not really upset that you can’t talk to your daughter, you’re just pissed because you had to wake up before noon. I’m surprised no one has gone Bud White on this lunatic yet. I’d imagine it’d be pretty hard to “straighten her ass out” when you have to worry about that pesky morphine (more…)

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