Kaley Cuoco Seems Fun
Kaley Cuoco Seems Fun

 

Kaley Cuoco is the most unattractive hot chick in Hollywood, and she just fulfilled her lifelong dream of marrying the first dude who asked, but all that gets wiped away because she posted this pic Sunday night on Twitter. Turns out that drunk white girls posting their boobs is the kinda thing we post here.

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Here’s All The Chicks You Want To See From The Golden Globes. Trust Me

My apologies for giving you Lena Dunham and Jacqueline Bisset first thing this morning, so to make up for the that, here's all the chicks that don't look like something you'd stab then run away screaming if you saw them on the street. Also, the keyword for this post is "boobs". Everyone likes boobs!

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Kate Beckinsale Looks…Ummm…Different

 

Hey, remember when Kate Beckinsale used to be one of the hottest chicks on Earth and would talk about banging and wearing lingerie around the house all the time? Good times, good times. Now instead of doing all that, she must must have found a really good groupon on Botox because she looks like this now. Specifically, like something you could order from Japan that would come to your door in discreet packaging..

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Lena Dunham Wore This To The Golden Globes

Girls didn't win shit last night, and to the further embarrassment of HBO, Lena Dunham showed up in this dress. I can't tell if she looks like a Costco crate of peanut M&M's or if she ate one on the way there.

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Jacqueline Bisset Won Best In Mixing Xanax And Wine Last Night
Jacqueline Bisset Won Best In Mixing Xanax And Wine Last Night

 

This is the first time Jacqueline Bisset has ever been on this site, and it will probably be the last. That is, of course, unless she wins another award. And they should make a category with only "Jacqueline Bisset" listed as the five nomineess, because holy shit, man. The only way she could have been higher is if she gave her acceptance speech from a helicopter.

 

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The 71st Golden Globes Were Last Night
The 71st Golden Globes Were Last Night

 

Making it the only time a foreigener's opinion matters, the 71st Annual Golden Globes were last night. If you didn't watch, or if you were like me and watched and got bored halfway through, I've compiled the complete list of winners for you. Now on to other posts where I make fun of everyone without nice boobs. Thank you, and happy Monday.

 

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture –  Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie –  Jacqueline Bisset (Dancing on the Edge)

Best Miniseries or TV MovieBehind the Candelabra

Best Actress in a TV Miniseries or Movie – Elisabeth Moss (Top of the Lake)

Best Actor in a Tv Series, Drama –  Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie –  Jon Voight (Ray Donovan)

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical – Amy Adams (American Hustle)

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama –  Robin Wright (House of Cards)

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture – Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture – Spike Jonze (Her)

Best Actor, TV Series, Comedy or Musical – Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

Best Actor in a TV Miniseries or Movie – Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra)

Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy  – Amy Poehler (Parks & Recreation)

Best Director, Motion Picture – Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)

Best TV Series, Comedy – Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical – Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy American Hustle Best

Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama – Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama – Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Motion Picture, Drama12 Years a Slave

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