50 Cent Is An Elite Athlete

 

So, 50 Cent threw out the ceremonial first pitch at Citi Field before the Mets-Pirates game yesterday, and if somebody wants to shoot him for a 10th time just on general principle, I think we'd all be okay with that. This shit is embarrassing. Christopher Columbus didn't go this wide. He should have made the money pile up in front of a Dominican body double then watched from a luxury suite.

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Meryl Streep, Kobe Bryant, And 50 Cent Say Good Afternoon, Links
Meryl Streep, Kobe Bryant, And 50 Cent Say Good Afternoon, Links

 

Madonna is a witch [Dlisted]

Katy Perry's brother looks like a serial killer [Fishwrapper]

Paris Hilton's nipple (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Joanna Krupa wore this dress to the pre-Grammys [The Superficial]

Miley Cyrus looks normal [Hollywood Tuna]

Chrissy Teigen won the Clive Davis party [Popoholic]

Rihanna just gets half naked on Twitter now [Drunken Stepfather]

Nelly isn't the world's biggest Madonna fan [TMZ]

Jonah Hill and his BFF [Lainey Gossip]

Kristen Stewart never takes off her makeup [Celebitchy]

Top 5 red carpet stunners at the 56th Grammys [Moe Jackson]

 

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50 Cent Was In A Car Accident, Left On A Stretcher



50 Cent willingly put his dick in Chelsea Handler for a few months last year, so obviously he lives life on the edge. Whether it be fucking mummies who blatantly lie about their age or driving too close to an 18-wheeler, 50 Cent is so hardcore, bro. Radar Online reports:

Rapper 50 Cent was involved in a bad car accident in New York City late Monday night, RadarOnline.com has learned. The 36-year-old’s bullet-proof SUV was rear-ended by a Mack truck while driving on Interstate 495 and he was put on a stretcher and taken to the hospital (see photos HERE) The site reports that the driver of the 18-wheeler told police his load shifted and he lost control of the vehicle, slamming into 50’s ride, almost flipping it.

Details are sketchy right now, but we shouldn’t worry. I’m sure we’ll hear the story in every song he does from now on. What was that, 50? You were shot one time? Ooh, tell us more!!

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The Game Says 50 Cent Is A Closet Homosexual

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During a Twitter argument (don’t you love those?) with the always petty and sanctimonious starfuckers at TMZ, The Game, defended his interview with VLADTV by prattling off names of people he knows that are gay. Yes, that list included 50 Cent.

Look @TMZ its simple: if your GAY be GAY!!! I don’t have a problem with GAY people… I like Elton John’s music a lot #StraightTweet (sic)

@TMZ but look around, shit I be surprised when I see someone who’s not GAY. My girl hair stylist is GAY & he cool. @50cent GAY n we was cool.

Why does the word “GAY” always stir up so much MADNESS ? If ur GAY, kool. If youre NOT GAY, that’s kool 2. Be WHATEVER u wanna be

Oh oh oh……one more thing: it ain’t only GAY men living on the DL spreading HIV & STD’S … its some of you dirty dick straight [men] 2

I only bring this up because 50 Cent was reportedly dating Chelsea Handler earlier this year. And if you happen to click on the link to the Chelsea Handler post then stare at the banner picture, this whole gay thing will make a lot more sense to you.

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Chelsea Handler Is Dating 50 Cent

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Um, okay. Us Magazine reports:

The unexpected pair were photographed looking romantic at a New Orleans bar on Sunday. “It’s been going on awhile,” the source says of the comedienne and the rapper, both 35. “It’s more of a hookup thing — whenever they are in the same town.” 50 Cent’s rep had no comment. A rep for the Chelsea Lately host tells Us, “She saves all her comments for her own show.”

This source probably isn’t on Handler’s or 50’s Christmas card list, because they just basically said they aren’t really dating, just that Chelsea gets ran through every time 50 is in town. So it’s really gonna be hard to tell from now on if that thing in the middle of her head is a vein or 50’s dick.

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I’m Into Having Chemo, I Ain’t In To Makin Love

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De Niro did it with a four-month binge eating trip around Italy and France for Raging Bull, Christian Bale did it by only eating one apple and a can of tuna a day for The Machinist, now legendary actor 50 Cent has fucked with his weight for a new movie.

50 Cent lost a lot of weight for his upcoming movie “Things Fall Apart”. In the movie 50 Cent plays a football player diagnosed with cancer. He dropped from 214 pounds to an astonishing 160 with a liquid diet and three-hour-a-day treadmill walks for nine weeks. “I was starving.” Now he’s back on tour and says, “I’ve been eating. I’ll be back in shape in no time!”

Yeah, this is great and all, but why doesn’t anybody give Cameron Diaz the credit she deserves as a great method actress? In Shrek she gained a bunch of weight and turned herself into an ogre. Where is her Academy Award? Is it a conspiracy against women actors? I’m ashamed that in this day and age women are still forced to the sidelines by gender inequality.

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