Ashley Graham Was Jessica Rabbit For The 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar
Ashley Graham Was Jessica Rabbit For The 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

Ok, let’s get caught up on the 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. We got Kendall Jenner again for some reason, Elsa Hosk, Cami Morrone, and Ashley Graham as Jessica Rabbit in a remake of Who Ate Roger Rabbit?, sorry, I meant Who Framed Roger Rabbit? We could probably say either or.

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Gigi Hadid Is Your Christmas Eve 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar
Gigi Hadid Is Your Christmas Eve 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

And since I’m up, I might as well cover today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. It’s Gigi Hadid. She got Christmas Eve. The ugly Hadid got December 1st.  Probably no issues between them at their parents’ house this weekend. None at all. It’s cool. Everything is fine.

 

 

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Karlie Kloss Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Everyone
Karlie Kloss Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Everyone

 

Taylor Swift’s brief fling with lesbianism, Karlie Kloss, is today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar in what looks like a 1 min remake of Pretty Woman. The movie about a rich dude falling in love with a prostitute. They should reboot that as a star vehicle for Drake. Somebody else would have to direct since Garry Marshall is dead.

 

 

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Alexis Ren Had Her Named Misspelled For Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar
Alexis Ren Had Her Named Misspelled For Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

The daughter of the other Baldwin did the 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar yesterday, since they’re ran out of models and are going through Instagram “models” now because December has a lot of days. Today’s is Alexis Ren. Or “Alexis Renn” as stated in the video here. I assume they’re the same person. Alexis Ren has 7.4M Instagram followers, because a pic of her in a bikini when she was 15 got a lot attention on Tumblr. Can’t really blame Trump for that. Anyway,  “Alexis Renn” did a calendar video where she does ballet with a dudes in bunny suits. I guess they paid her in drugs since they appear to have had a bunch lying around.

 

 

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Joan Smalls Is Today’s Boring 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar
Joan Smalls Is Today’s Boring 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

I know there’s two 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar posts back to back, but I really need to get this one out of the way, because goddamn its boring. I had to Google Joan Smalls, and the second line of her Wikipedia says, “In 2013, she ranked at #8 on Forbes magazine’s “World’s Highest-Paid Models” list.” That’s what she chose to lead with. I guess that’s something to be proud of. Anyway, this video is just her with a glowing thing around her neck. That’s it. Let’s not to try to find some deeper meaning.

 

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Alessandra Ambrosio Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Bonus Other Chicks
Alessandra Ambrosio Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Bonus Other Chicks

 

The Alessandra Ambrosio 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar isn’t the best one, but whatever. It’s Alessandro Ambrosio stripping. I saw her on the Santa Monica Pier once and she looks the exact same in person. Except she looks skinner in person. And taller in person. Not sure if you can tell that I was staring or not.

 

 

Get you Day 17 and Day 18 on below:

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Chrissy Teigen Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Everyone
Chrissy Teigen Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Everyone

 

Chrissy Teigen is the human equivalent of a Friday, so it’s fitting that she’s today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. I’d feel kinda gross commenting on this video in my usual commenting way, but I will say this was very professionally shot and I hope this video you starts you on your path to fitness and hot dogs in 2017 and beyond.

 

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Ciara And Cartoon Unicorns Are Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar
Ciara And Cartoon Unicorns Are Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

I’m pretty sure Ciara is some type of singer. She’s also today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. The good thing about this is that she’s married to Russell Wilson now, so he doesn’t have to wait until God goes to sleep later to jack off to this. He can do it anytime he wants! That’s great. As for the concept of this? Your guess is as good as mine.

 

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Taylor Hill Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. Cool.
Taylor Hill Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. Cool.

 

Taylor Hill has been a Victoria’s Secret Angel since 2015. Thanks for that, Wikipedia. Apparently this concept was “have Taylor roll around in lingerie while some lady does a voiceover in French and I really want something to be the matter with Taylor’s feet”. It’s aight. Alan Thicke didn’t miss much.

 

 

Here’s some pics of Taylor Hill if you’re interested. She kinda looks like a taller, skinnier Ariana Grande. I’m down with that.

 

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Sara Sampaio Is Today’s LOVE Advent Calendar In Case You’re Wondering
Sara Sampaio Is Today’s LOVE Advent Calendar In Case You’re Wondering

 

Much like yesterday, we’re getting into the middle children of the 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, so today is Sara Sampaio. I don’t know, Google her? Jesus over at Drunken Stepfather is a big fan, so he could answer your questions better than I could. All I know is Chrome puts that red line under her name when I type it. Yes, that’s how you spell her last name, Chrome, I would appreciate if you didn’t make me question myself about it.

 

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