Victoria’s secret is probably knowing you won’t look good as these models in their bras and lingerie, but they want you buy the stuff anyway, so every year they have a fashion show, and gyms across the world can’t wait for it to air, because they’ll see a spike big ass spike in memberships for people who will sign up the day after it airs then go to the gym for a month then not come again, but they’ll be locked into a 12-month contract. That’s a pretty good business model. These ladies here are also good models.
I’ll have all the models up later, but first let’s all take a moment to give thanks for Ariana Grande‘s hot ass performing at the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I still wouldn’t be able to recognize one of her songs, but what is the media’s fascination with women’s “songs”? Just another example of the patriarchy forcing unrealistic standards of music and art. Here’s some pictures of her in some tight clothes instead.
Taylor Swift is all about feminism and girl power, until you know, another girl publicly insults her, then of course, like most women, Swift has zero chill and the girl then becomes Taylor Swift’s sworn enemy who she must destroy and not be satisfied until she drinks her blood from a boot. So let’s flashback to last year when Jessica Hart had this to say about Taylor Swift’s performance during the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
“God bless her (Taylor Swift’s) heart. I think she’s great. But I don’t know, to me, she didn’t fit. I don’t know if I should say that.”
Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Actually it does, because anybody who lives in the South understands from an early age that “bless your heart” means “go fuck yourself”, because in the civilized parts of the South, we like to insult you, smile, and walk away without making a big deal out of it and with minimal drama. So everything Jessica Hart said after “God bless her heart”, is hollow and meaningless and should be read as, “Fuck her. Her music sucks and they could have picked somebody who doesn’t suck so much. She really fucking sucks. Sorry, not sorry.” Enter 2014. The year where Taylor Swift plays the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show again, but Jessica Hart was passed over to be one of the models.
“It’s not been announced that Jessica is not walking, but it was a direct request from Taylor that this be the case if she were to go,” one well-placed Victoria’s Secret insider tells Confidenti@l. “No one can know that Taylor requested Ms. Hart not be in the show. They want to keep that under wraps, but that’s the facts.”
Well, she wasn’t in the show. so there’s that. For all of Swift’s inspirational and feigned feminism, she basically just walks around waiting for someone to say she might not be a fantastic musical goddess, then she fucks with their employment and lives. Sounds about right. Girl power and all that.