There’s A Few Things Wrong With Taylor Swift

Man, Taylor Swift is cute, isn’t she? All hot legs and her Holy Grail-like quest for love. But mostly the legs. You know what’s not cute? Her 2014 MTV VMAs performance of “Shake It Off” with her vocals isolated. Christ. Instead of moving in across the street from 17-year old Kennedy boys, maybe she should, I don’t know, move in across the street from a vocal coach. Scratch that. Ask the vocal coach if she has a spare bedroom then move into that. If you’re busy, I can look around Craigslist and shoot you some links.

 

 Also, attended an award show, and every time she does, it just further explains why she can’t keep a man. Because at award shows, Taylor Swift dances. Here’s a Vine of Taylor Swift dancing last night. Now imagine that naked. It’d be like fucking a epileptic on a waterbed.

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Beyonce Is Your New Feminist Icon

 

Beyonce got in a bedazzled onesie and twerked on a stripper pole and dry humped a piece of IKEA furniture in front of her 2-year old daughter last night at the 2014 MTV VMAs , but I was under the impression that Farrah Abraham and strippers who can’t afford daycare do the same thing, although please keep in mind,  they don’t project the word “Feminist” after they perform. I guess they should have thought of that, because  Beyonce is now a feminist icon. Did I make the wrong comparison here? I did? Oh, it’s different when Beyonce does it because she’s empowered on the pole? Ok, I think I got it now. Thanks for clearing that up! I thought it was just me for a second.

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