Eva Longoria Says Good Morning, Links By todd May 19, 2015

Chrissy Teigen made Ludacris comatose  The Superficial

Diane Kruger wore red panties to Cannes, sat down Taxi Driver Movie

Sienna Miller in a bikini   Drunken Stepfather

Rebel Wilson lied about her age like most people in Hollywood  Dlisted

Victoria Justice has a hot sister  Hollywood Tuna

Kendall Jenner‘s butt in these pants Popoholic

Alyssa Arce. Good lawd.   Celebslam

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Chrissy Teigen made Ludacris comatose  The Superficial Diane Kruger wore red panties to Cannes, sat down Taxi Driver Movie Sienna Miller in a bikini   Drunken Stepfather Rebel Wilson lied…

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Jennifer Lopez Wore This To The 2015 BBMAs By todd May 18, 2015

When archaeologists from another planet find our bloated, charred remains under a McDonald’s/gun shop kiosk, their findings will indicate that Jennifer Lopez was highest-ranking prostitute at every award show she attended, because when Jennifer Lopez attends an award show, the purpose of her dress doesn’t care about what it’ll be like when she sits down.  

When archaeologists from another planet find our bloated, charred remains under a McDonald’s/gun shop kiosk, their findings will indicate that Jennifer Lopez was highest-ranking prostitute at every award show she…

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Natalie Portman’s Panties Went To Cannes By todd May 18, 2015

Natalie Portman won’t display her Oscar because it’ll offend God, but panties aren’t covered in the Torah, so she displayed them for everyone at Cannes. So, just in case you missed that, these are a bunch of pics of Natalie Portman in a see through dress where you can see her panties. I don’t know. Happy Monday?

Natalie Portman won’t display her Oscar because it’ll offend God, but panties aren’t covered in the Torah, so she displayed them for everyone at Cannes. So, just in case you…

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Salma Hayek’s Rack Went To Cannes By todd May 18, 2015

Hey, remember when Salma Hayek was an actor and stuff then she was like, “wait, I look like Salma Hayek why am I not married to a French billionaire” then she married a French billionaire and got pregnant? I guess Cannes is close to her house, so she showed up with her husband and dem titties. Sorry. You can’t see them. You need at least a billion in your Well Fargo Way To save account before she’ll take them out. Or you can time travel back to the 90s and just go see any movie she was in. Either or.

Hey, remember when Salma Hayek was an actor and stuff then she was like, “wait, I look like Salma Hayek why am I not married to a French billionaire” then…

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Here’s The Joker Giving Harley Quinn The Pimp Hand In ‘Suicide Squad’ By todd May 18, 2015

In what I assume is a leaked video from the set of Suicide Squad, here’s Jared Leto as The Joker (without the tattoos) and Margot Robbie (not wearing a Harley Quinn costume). Take it away, Uproxx.

Harley is standing in front of Joker’s car. She screams “Get out of the car” then mouths the word p*ssy. And she makes that look adorable. Joker revs the engine, then gets out. They argue briefly and another guy approaches to break it up. She shoots him then points the gun at Joker. He does the old “put his forehead against the barrel, daring her to shoot him” thing before grabbing the gun, pointing it at his own head, and slapping her, so there’s your answer if you wondered if they’d tone down the fact Joker beats up Harley and messes with her head.

Man, can’t wait to read the think piece about this video on Salon and Jezebel. Should be a good time, guys.

In what I assume is a leaked video from the set of Suicide Squad, here’s Jared Leto as The Joker (without the tattoos) and Margot Robbie (not wearing a Harley…

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Taylor Swift Dropped “Bad Blood” At The Billboard Music Awards By todd May 18, 2015

After doing all this stuff for a few weeks, Taylor Swift dropped the music video for “Bad Blood” during last night’s Billboard Music Awards. If you were expecting some revelation that would resurrect the music video, sorry. Taylor Swift just invited all the chicks in her Tuesday night scrapbooking club to dress in leather and pretend to be badasses. Well, except Selena Gomez. Who is apparently playing Dora the Explorer. And Cindy Crawford. Who is playing Life Comes At You Fast. Music video concept: Show a famous person and their character name, they disappear never to be seen again, closeup on Taylor, Kendrick Lamar, repeat those steps 20 times, CGI fire. End of video. There. I just saved you some time.

After doing all this stuff for a few weeks, Taylor Swift dropped the music video for “Bad Blood” during last night’s Billboard Music Awards. If you were expecting some revelation…

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Miranda Kerr Wore This To Cannes By todd May 15, 2015

I don’t know what you expect me to say about Miranda Kerr that I haven’t said in the past 7 years already, but hey, you know how Tess Holliday really thinks she’s a model? That’s pretty funny. Anyway, here’s some Miranda Kerr sideboob and frontboob and just in general boob in a dress she wore that I think was made from a 3D printout of a dream I had.

I don’t know what you expect me to say about Miranda Kerr that I haven’t said in the past 7 years already, but hey, you know how Tess Holliday really…

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Hilary Duff’s Music Video For “Sparks” Is A Tinder Ad By todd May 15, 2015

I really have no idea what’s going on in Hilary Duff‘s music video for “Sparks” besides the fact that the word ‘Tinder” is said about 739 times. So, Hilary Duff joined Tinder then made a music video about Tinder. Then I guess she cashed a check from Tinder or got stock options in IACI. Then she talked about Tinder on the way home. Then again when she went to sleep. Then she had a dream about Tinder and checked Tinder in the dream. I think. I didn’t finish the video, because I just assumed she would go on a Tinder date with a guy named Tinder at the end.

I really have no idea what’s going on in Hilary Duff‘s music video for “Sparks” besides the fact that the word ‘Tinder” is said about 739 times. So, Hilary Duff…

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B.B. King Died (Not In This Picture) By todd May 15, 2015
B.B. King Died (Not In This Picture)

Legendary blues guitarist, B.B. King, died in his home in Las Vegas at 9:40pm PST last night at the age of 89. Whether they know it or not, your favorite guitarist was influenced by B.B. King, because they’re favorite guitarist’s guitarist was influenced by B.B. King. King died leaving behind 43 albums, 15 Grammys (excluding his Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award), a Kennedy Center Honor, a Presidential Medal of Freedom, honorary doctorates from Yale and Brown, and inductions to both the Blues Hall Of Fame and Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame. Legends never truly die, so we’ll see you and Lucille in the next phase, B.B. Also, Wikipedia is very informative.

Legendary blues guitarist, B.B. King, died in his home in Las Vegas at 9:40pm PST last night at the age of 89. Whether they know it or not, your favorite…
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Courtney Stodden’s “Stolen” Sex Tape Sure Looks Professional By todd May 14, 2015
Courtney Stodden’s “Stolen” Sex Tape Sure Looks Professional

If you were somehow under the impression that Courtney Stodden had her sex tape stolen and was left with no other choice but to sell it to Vivid and be just another victim of the patriarchy’s subjugation of women, awww bless your little heart. You’re sweet *pats your head*. Another great theory is that she had this professionally made then sold it to Vivid, but she can’t say that because she can’t tarnish her reputation that has been above reproach so far. Hey, America. Grown women make sex tapes then sell them to make money. We’re not in Jamestown anymore. So, if you want to see the trailer for Courtney Uncovered: The Courtney Stodden Sex Tape, click on that link for the trailer. If you want to see Courtney Uncovered: In A Landfill In Vegas, you’re gonna have for the eventual Lifetime movie. If you wanna see screenshots of the sex tape courtesy of Vivid, check them out after the jump below. Not that I have to tell you this, but NSFW, homey. They’re NSFW.

(more…)

If you were somehow under the impression that Courtney Stodden had her sex tape stolen and was left with no other choice but to sell it to Vivid and be…

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