Mayweather Jr. Is Gonna Post Suge Knight’s $10M Bail If He Beats Pac By todd April 30, 2015

Man, Tupac is rolling over in his hammock overlooking the beach in Cuba right now.

Former rap mogul Marion “Suge” Knight could soon be out of custody, but it all depends on if his good friend Floyd Mayweather Jr. is victorious Saturday in his history-making match against Manny Pacquiao in Las Vegas. Matthew Fletcher, Knight’s attorney, said that if Mayweather wins the bout, he expects the boxer to cover his client’s $10-million bail. “They’re good friends,” Fletcher said. “That’s one of his wealthiest friends.” A lawyer from Mayweather’s camp reached out to Fletcher several weeks ago and asked about the specifics of bailing Knight out, the attorney said. Fletcher said he talked to Knight on Wednesday about the possibility of Mayweather pulling through with bail. “Suge said, ‘Man, I was really going to pull for him to win, but now I’m going to have to pray for him to win,’” Fletcher said. Mayweather’s camp couldn’t immediately be reached for comment.

Suge Knight ran over a guy and killed him, then collapsed in court like a woman Floyd Mayweather Jr. punched after the bail was announced, so I hope Manny beats Floyd so bad they have to identify him by Bieber’s semen. I would be scared that Mayweather might read this, but keep in mind, he can’t read.

Man, Tupac is rolling over in his hammock overlooking the beach in Cuba right now. Former rap mogul Marion “Suge” Knight could soon be out of custody, but it all…

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Good Lawd, Megan Fox By todd April 30, 2015

I threw some pictures of Megan Fox on the set of TMNT 2 on Tuesday, BUT THESE ARE THE  PICTURES OF MEGAN FOX ON THE SET OF TMNT 2 TODAY. I’M KNOW I’M TYPING IN ALL CAPS I DON’T CARE BECAUSE MEGAN FOX IS BLONDE AND IS WEARING GLASSES AND WHAT LOOKS LIKE A CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL UNIFORM I WOULD JUMP OVER HILARY DUFF’S DEAD BODY TO GET TO THIS I’VE ALSO HAD A FOUR SHOT AMERICANO AND I THINK I CAN SEE MY HEARTBEAT RIGHT NOW AND IT IS ALSO LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES MY PENIS RIGHT NOW IS LIKE THOR’S HAMMER IF IT WAS ON THE GROUND AND SOMEBODY TRIED TO PICK IT UP BESIDES THOR. HITTING PUBLISH NOW OK BYE.

I threw some pictures of Megan Fox on the set of TMNT 2 on Tuesday, BUT THESE ARE THE  PICTURES OF MEGAN FOX ON THE SET OF TMNT 2 TODAY….

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Hilary Duff Went Shopping In These Jeans By todd April 30, 2015

Hilary Duff went to Barney’s yesterday, where I assume she went to buy a new outfit for a Tinder date. But most importantly, she went shopping in these jeans. I’m not going to go into too much detail what I’d do to her ass, but it would look worse that Baltimore after about 20 minutes. That includes the 10 minute break in between.

Hilary Duff went to Barney’s yesterday, where I assume she went to buy a new outfit for a Tinder date. But most importantly, she went shopping in these jeans. I’m…

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Britney Spears Sprained Her Ankle By todd April 30, 2015

If there’s anybody who should get down on their knees every single day and night and thank Jesus for committing suicide, it’s Britney Spears. She’s kinda dumb, can’t sing, can’t really dance, and really doesn’t have anything that brings any semblance of substance to the world except maybe her ass in 2001. But for some reason, she gets paid $310,000 PER SHOW during her current run at the Las Vegas Planet Hollywood. Yes, you read that right. Anyway, she was performing last night and did some kind of kick thing then immediately sprained her ankle. And fell down. And didn’t get up. I think her ankle reminded her that she’s 33 and has children at home.

If there’s anybody who should get down on their knees every single day and night and thank Jesus for committing suicide, it’s Britney Spears. She’s kinda dumb, can’t sing, can’t…

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Selena Gomez Is Banging Haze Banga Maybe I Guess By todd April 29, 2015
Selena Gomez Is Banging Haze Banga Maybe I Guess

I didn’t even know Selena Gomez had broken up with DJ Zedd, but if I had to guess it’s because his name is DJ Zedd. So I guess know she’s in a phase where she’s fucking dudes with stupid names. Enter Haze Banga. I’m told he is a music producer but I think he also might be a character in Street Fighter 2.

‘In Touch’ has exclusively learned that following her recent split from DJ Zedd, Selena Gomez is already hooking up with a new man: music producer Haze Banga. “They started flirting online and it quickly became physical,” an insider exclusively reveals to ‘In Touch.’…“One of the reasons she’s hanging out with Haze is to make [her ex, Justin Bieber] jealous,” the insider reveals to ‘In Touch,’ explaining that Justin has been dying to work with the hit maker on a new track.

Haze Banga is black, so I kinda understand why she felt comfortable walking around in a bikini looking like this. Was that racist? I don’t know. I feel like it was more of a sweeping generalization and a stereotype. If she wanted to make Justin Bieber jealous, I’d probably suggest uninstalling her Grub Hub app that she uses seven times a day.

I didn’t even know Selena Gomez had broken up with DJ Zedd, but if I had to guess it’s because his name is DJ Zedd. So I guess know she’s…

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KONG HAVE CORNROWS NOW By todd April 29, 2015

Even though her ass has been exposed to gamma radiation and looks like something a shark would attack, the grossest thing about Khloe Kardashian now is that she has cornrows now. She must feel pretty bad about Bruce Jenner getting all the credit for being the first transgendered person in their family, but she’ll probably take all that aggression out by skinning General Hopper’s men out of Fort Bragg alive until Arnold Schwarzenegger blows her up at the end of the movie.

Even though her ass has been exposed to gamma radiation and looks like something a shark would attack, the grossest thing about Khloe Kardashian now is that she has cornrows…
Charli XCX Did ASOS Magazine By todd April 29, 2015

I haven’t posted about Charli XCX in a while, because well, she’s mostly unattractive. I guess this is what she looks like when she’s not on stage testing the quality control of fabric and wearing whatever that stuff is she calls makeup. I assume it’s makeup. Yeah, so this is Charli XCX. Or I think this might be Charlotte Aitchison. Charlotte seats you at The Cheesecake Factory and has a Lauren Conrad book in her Honda Civic that she reads on her lunch break after tweeting at Ryan Gosling.

I haven’t posted about Charli XCX in a while, because well, she’s mostly unattractive. I guess this is what she looks like when she’s not on stage testing the quality…

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So This Is Jared Leto Now By todd April 29, 2015
So This Is Jared Leto Now

So we’ve already seen what Jared Leto’s face is gonna look like as The Joker. Here’s the rest of him. Apparently The Joker’s daily routine consists of eating six whole chickens and a tanker truck full of protein shakes. Oh, and murder. Also murder. Because The Joker is insane. I mean, that’s kinda redundant since he takes post-workout selfies.

So we’ve already seen what Jared Leto’s face is gonna look like as The Joker. Here’s the rest of him. Apparently The Joker’s daily routine consists of eating six whole…

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Kendall Jenner Is Getting Breast Implants For Justin Bieber By todd April 28, 2015

So, yeah. Kendall Jenner wants to get breast implants to impress Justin Bieber. Even though I only like one noun in that last sentence, I’ll allow it.

“There is no doubt among any of Kendall’s friends that this is all about impressing Justin,” a source exclusively revealed to OK Magazine.com. “He’s so superficial when it comes to women’s bodies and Kendall’s worried she’s not busty enough for his tastes.” She says she’s only considering going “up a couple of breast sizes” and insists “she’ll keep it classy.” “She knows Justin loves big butts too, but for now she’s focused on one thing at a time and she’s starting with her boobs.”

Fake tits and a flat ass are a little 80s, but if Kendall Jenner wants to get a bigger rack because she thinks that’ll keep a dude interested, then who are we to judge? Because, well, she’ll have bigger tits. And bigger tits on Kendall Jenner is something I think we can all agree on despite the fact that some of you probably think Dunkin Donuts is better than Krispy Kreme. What happened to you as a child for you to feel this way? What choices did you make for your life to end up like this? Let’s talk about it. My door is always open for you.

 
So, yeah. Kendall Jenner wants to get breast implants to impress Justin Bieber. Even though I only like one noun in that last sentence, I’ll allow it. “There is no…

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Megan Fox Is Already Doing ‘TMNT 2′ By todd April 28, 2015

I thought Megan Fox was still promoting the Michael Bay afterbirth that was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but here she is in the first set pictures of TMNT 2. Why? Why is this happening? Let history show that I was against this. On the bright side, she’s still super hot, but I have no idea why she’s running. Hopefully because she realizes she’s on the set of TMNT 2.

I thought Megan Fox was still promoting the Michael Bay afterbirth that was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but here she is in the first set pictures of TMNT 2. Why?…

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