This Brooke Hogan Poem Should Clear It All Up By todd July 27, 2015

I guess because she wants to stay in the will, Brooke Hogan wrote a poem called, If You Knew My Father, to let people know that Hulk Hogan isn’t racist an has a kind heart even though he said, “I am racist”. This a line from the poem:

Human isn’t perfect, and perfect is not he.

Remember when Brooke Hogan tried to launch a singing career and failed because she had black producers? Statistics have shown that white girls with black producers usually fail at launching successful singing careers because  lol jk did you read that line in her poem? Anyway, it’s still pretty heartfelt, I guess, and it would go a long way to change peoples’ minds, but while she was writing this, Hulk Hogan was on Twitter basically retweeting people who are wondering why he isn’t allowed to say “nigger”. I mean, because if Obama can say it since he’s half white, then why can’t Hulk Hogan? I might be reaching here, but I assume Hogan isn’t called a nigger a million times a day on social media. You know, like Obama. Please understand this is just a theory I have. I’m sure there’s a valid reason why Hogan wants to use this word so bad. Probably in a nuanced argument for prison reform I bet.

I guess because she wants to stay in the will, Brooke Hogan wrote a poem called, If You Knew My Father, to let people know that Hulk Hogan isn’t racist…

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KONG DO COMPLEX By todd July 27, 2015

Khloe Kardashian is on the August/September of Complex, and I think they named their magazine because they knew how their website would be designed. Anyway, here’s Khloe Kardashian still trying to be sexy for some reason. They only have two pictures available online so far. Maybe that’s for the best. The cover is pretty cool though. A little backstory: the photographer got Khloe to nail the “turn your head around really fast” look by bringing out a live goat. A little behind the scenes magic for ya!

Khloe Kardashian is on the August/September of Complex, and I think they named their magazine because they knew how their website would be designed. Anyway, here’s Khloe Kardashian still trying…

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Jennifer Lopez Is 46 By todd July 27, 2015

Whenever a Puerto Rican or black woman ask me to guess their age, I do myself a favor and pretend I don’t speak English, because there’s a chance I could guess right or be off by 30 years. I don’t need pressure like that. That being said, this is what Jennifer Lopez looked like at her 46th birthday party. Keep in mind that Sarah Jessica Parker and Lopez went to high school at the same time. Man, somebody is losing the race war on pretty much all fronts.

Whenever a Puerto Rican or black woman ask me to guess their age, I do myself a favor and pretend I don’t speak English, because there’s a chance I could…

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Cara Delevingne Flashed A Parking Lot By todd July 27, 2015

Ok, so I’m not gonna spend a lot of time building this up, because a video of Cara Delevingne grinding against a car and flashing everyone doesn’t really need much build up. Unlike S2 of True Detective. You can watch the video after the jump, but you might want to do it with the sound off, because it was filmed by people attending a We’re Really White convention in the area. I think the girls filming this were named Madison and Peyton. Their friend Kyle was there as well.

(more…)

Ok, so I’m not gonna spend a lot of time building this up, because a video of Cara Delevingne grinding against a car and flashing everyone doesn’t really need much…
Sara Underwood Says Good Morning, Links By todd July 27, 2015

Remember Natalie Imbruglia‘s one song? Here’s one of her nipples  (NSFWTaxi Driver Movie

Bobbi Kristina died. She was 22.   Dlisted

Kylie Jenner probably bought this DrunkenStepfather

Phantom Menace was almost worse. Much, much worse. You know it. Shamon.  The Superficial

GOOD. LAWDHollywood Tuna

Farabe Cottingham can have a name like that when you look like this Celebslam

Maggie from The Walking Dead posed topless for a magazine (NSFW) The Nip Slip

BUY ALL THE POPCORN NOW Celebitchy

Taisha Marie’s booty is too much for Instagram COED

Rick Perry wants guns in movie theaters because who needs to aim The Frisky

More Sara Underwood Instagram

Remember Natalie Imbruglia‘s one song? Here’s one of her nipples  (NSFW)  Taxi Driver Movie Bobbi Kristina died. She was 22.   Dlisted Kylie Jenner probably bought this DrunkenStepfather Phantom Menace was…

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Katy Perry And John Mayer Broke Up Again By todd July 24, 2015

Yeah, so Katy Perry and John Mayer have split for the fourth time. You know, like maybe this wasn’t meant to be and stuff.

In what might be the most accurate form of life imitating art, we offer you Katy Perry and John Mayer’s roller coaster relationship. These two have been up and down (or “hot and cold,” if you will) for years now, and E! News has exclusively learned from a source close to the couple that they’ve called it quits again.

Katy Perry has big boobs. That’s pretty much it. Oh and a rumored raging coke problem. Which is probably why she nodded and hit send on this tweet thinking it read like Cormac McCarthy. She and John Mayer (mostly John Mayer) were supposed to write a Taylor Swift diss track in response to Taylor Swift’s Katy Perry diss track, but wow I’m already bored with this so I’m stopping now.

Yeah, so Katy Perry and John Mayer have split for the fourth time. You know, like maybe this wasn’t meant to be and stuff. In what might be the most…

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Nicki Minaj And Taylor Swift Talked On The Phone By todd July 24, 2015

Nicki Minaj, seen here being a “certain kind of artist”, performed on Good Morning America this morning where she let everybody know that she and Taylor Swift talked on the phone so Taylor could apologize more instead of texting like normal humans.

During a Friday appearance on Good Morning America, Minaj, who made headlines this week when she fumed over her Anaconda” video being passed over for a Video of the Year VMA nomination, said she and Swift, 25, aired their differences in a phone call after the “Bad Blood” singer’s Twitter mea culpa. “She was super, super sweet and she apologized,” Minaj, 32, confirmed. “She said, ‘Look, I didn’t understand the big picture of what you were saying, but now I get it.’ We’re all good.”

The call probably ended when Taylor asked Nicki to FaceTime so it could read her zodiac chart, but more importantly, Nicki Minaj performed this morning in see through pants so America could see her ass. Which is pretty much how this whole thing started.

Nicki Minaj, seen here being a “certain kind of artist”, performed on Good Morning America this morning where she let everybody know that she and Taylor Swift talked on the…

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Demi Lovato Is Sexy Now Or Something By todd July 24, 2015
Demi Lovato Is Sexy Now Or Something

Whenever former female child stars want to prove they’re women now, the playbook dictates they dress up in clothes like this and write songs with suggestive lyrics, because it’s common knowledge that all adult women grind on the bed in lingerie when they’re not wondering if they should add more to their 401K or just save for vacation or texting their friend to see if their new romper is office appropriate. Anyway, here’s Demi Lovato and new video for Cool For The Summer.

Whenever former female child stars want to prove they’re women now, the playbook dictates they dress up in clothes like this and write songs with suggestive lyrics, because it’s common…

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Hulk Hogan Is Super Sorry He Hates Black People By todd July 24, 2015

If you haven’t been on Facebook yet, you might not know that Hulk Hogan was fired and erased by WWE after an audio conversation with Heather Chem (the chick in Hogan’s sex tape that’s currently the center of a $100M lawsuit against Gawker) in which Hogan went full on Florida Man over his daughter, Brooke Hogan, dating “a fucking nigger”. Hulk Hogan is now sorry he got caught using this language.

“Eight years ago I used offensive language during a conversation. It was unacceptable for me to have used that offensive language; there is no excuse for it; and I apologize for having done it,” Hogan said in a statement exclusively to PEOPLE“This is not who I am. I believe very strongly that every person in the world is important and should not be treated differently based on race, gender, orientation, religious beliefs or otherwise,” Hogan told PEOPLE. “I am disappointed with myself that I used language that is offensive and inconsistent with my own beliefs.”

As you read this, please keep in mind that Hogan literally said, “I am racist” and “I’d rather if she was going to f*ck some n*gger, I’d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall n*gger worth a hundred million dollars! Like a basketball player!”. Look, man. It’s 2015. You can’t say that kinda stuff anymore. The good news is, there’s updated codewords you can use like, “Make America Great Again” and “we need to take our country back”.

If you haven’t been on Facebook yet, you might not know that Hulk Hogan was fired and erased by WWE after an audio conversation with Heather Chem (the chick in…

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Three People Died Because They Went To See ‘Trainwreck’ By todd July 24, 2015

Inside Amy Schumer is probably the hottest new feminist show written by a man, but Amy Schumer is doing movies now. Her first one is called Trainwreck, and last night a dude walked into a theater in Lafayette, La then killed two people and injured nine others before, of course, killing himself.  I mean, Trainwreck? At least James Holmes had taste.

The victims range in age from their late teens to their 60s, Lafayette Police Chief Jim Craft said. The man did have a criminal record but it was “pretty old,” according to Craft. After the man opened fire, he tried to leave with the people fleeing the theater, Craft said. But investigators believe that he spotted two officers in the parking lot, then turned around and went back into the theater. He then fired a single shot, and officers found him dead inside.

The shooter, John Russell Houser, had wigs and stuff in his car, but it’s unclear if they were powdered, but I assume they were since he was a member of the Tea Party.

Police identified the man responsible for killing at least three people in a Lafayette movie theater Thursday night as 59-year-old John Russell Houser, a “kind of drifter” who had been living in a nearby motel… But Craft says officers “have very little information about Houser” and are still working to determine his motive. He did appear to be a member of the Tea Party—a profile registered in 2013 matches his biographical details.

If the whole “59-year old white man” and “Tea Party” didn’t fully connect the dots, Houser was also a white supremacist and had a special place in his heart for the Westboro Baptist Church. But I guess he was frustrated because it’s hard to convince yourself that you’re a member of the master race when you’re living in a motel in Lafayette. But we shouldn’t jump to conclusions here. He was probably influenced by video games or smoked a lot of marijuana beforehand. For her part, Amy Schumer said what you’re supposed to say after a mass shooting, because if victims and future victims of gun violence need one thing it’s “thoughts and prayers”. Those always seems to work best when you’re shrugging and wringing hands.

Inside Amy Schumer is probably the hottest new feminist show written by a man, but Amy Schumer is doing movies now. Her first one is called Trainwreck, and last night…

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