The rest of the month is gonna be boring unless you want to talk about North Korea, so here’s more pictures of Charli XCX. My friend who texted me about her, texted me last night and said her hotness “grows on you”. Idk, I think the point of hotness is supposed to be instant, so maybe we just have to wait and see. I just….she looks like a fat Lorde. Like if Lorde went to college for a year then came back. Also, it looks like it might not have the most pleasant odor. Collards are the only thing that smell bad that I eat.
Hollywood is collectively flipping it’s shit right now over terrorist threats by North Korea, so there’s cancelling movies that haven’t even been made yet. But Steve Carell in a “paranoid thriller” though? Idk, maybe this is for the best.
The chilling effect of the Sony Pictures hack and terrorist threats against The Interview are reverberating. New Regency has scrapped another project that was to be set in North Korea. The untitled thriller, set up in October, was being developed by director Gore Verbinski as a star vehicle for Foxcatcher star Steve Carell. The paranoid thriller written by Steve Conrad was going to start production in March. Insiders tell me that under the current circumstances, it just makes no sense to move forward. The location won’t be transplanted. Fox declined to distribute it, per a spokesman.
I don’t want to tell this company how to do it’s job, but, like, go through the script and replace every “North Korea” with “Cuba”. Problem solved. Maybe you can even get Jay Z and Beyonce to make a cameo. That would be pretty cool.
By now, you’ve probably read on Facebook that Sony has completely scrapped The Interview, therefore causing my prediction to come true. These colors never run! Especially when we have moral stands to take like standing in line at Chick-Fil-A to support a rich guy’s interpretation of a book that was written buy a bunch of other dudes. Or by illegally downloading The Interview. But that’s pretty much all we do, because all it really takes is an anonymous threat and somebody to mention “9/11″ and we’ll piss ourselves. The terrorists won in 2001, because you’ve been living in fear ever since. But I assume you’re not as scared as Seth Rogen yet, because he just hired an ex-SF bodyguard. Say what you want about North Korea, but they indirectly just saved millions of Americans from potential torture. Kudos to them.
Kendall Jenner did her thing for the LOVE’s Advent 2014 where she kinda moved back and forth so it kinda seemed like she was dancing and not being shouted instructions by her mom, but Emily Ratajkowski just did one where she’s prancing around without a bra. Words words words words words wait, you’re still reading this? Dude. What’s your deal?
Just in case Sony needed something else to make it crumble to the ground, James Franco and Seth Rogen are no longer promoting The Interview and the NYC premiere has been canceled. Sony is also allowing theaters to decide if they want to play the movie with no financial penalty.
On the same day the Sony hackers made a 9/11 scale threat against theaters showing “The Interview” — the New York premiere of Seth Rogen and James Franco‘s movie has been scrapped. A rep for the Landmark Sunshine Cinema confirms Thursday’s scheduled premiere is cancelled. It’s unclear if the event will be rescheduled. This is the first cancellation for an event surrounding the controversial movie. The Hollywood premiere went on as planned last week, but they didn’t do any red carpet interviews. As TMZ first reported … the U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security doesn’t view the latest threats as credible. Sony is letting theaters decide whether to play the movie — leaving the door open for big financial losses.
Kirk Cameron probably wishes he made this movie instead, because you know who is gonna line up down the street like they’re at a Chick-Fil-A eating chicken untouched by homo semen? Conservatives with raging America boners. Because this is America. And we don’t back down from terrorist threats. lol jk they probably won’t go because North Korea has nukes and our swinging balls stop swinging when the terrorists have matching uniforms. We don’t fuck with matching uniforms. We want our terrorists in sandals and cut off jeans. But, I mean, if your home base is a cave and part of your military transport includes a camel, we’ll shoot a remote controlled missile so far up your fucking ass that Hank Williams, Jr. will fly out of your mouth riding a majestic eagle that soars until he lands on a McDonald’s drive thru speaker. Don’t fuck with us. I mean, you can fuck with us if you have a goat, but if you’re good with computers and stuff like that, we’ll just write you a strongly worded yet polite letter. So if this thing is North Korea, and something does pop off, just keep in mind that we as humans spent our time on Earth building Wal-Marts and fighting over imaginary lines on a map. Congrats.
I got demons running all through me, all through me. Tim Burton confirmed he’s directing Beetlejuice 2 with Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder. Yes, please.
Keaton told us on February 13 that he was in if Burton was, and on October 17 he mentioned that they were waiting for a script; but now Burton is here to set the record straight — “Beetlejuice 2″ is happening, and some very familiar faces will return. “Oh yeah,” Burton said, when MTV News asked if he’d be directing the sequel. And his response to the question of whether or not Winona Ryder would be returning? “Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah,” he said. “Oh yeah, oh yeah. Yeah yeah, oh yeah.”…“I worked with [Ryder], I hadn’t seen her in awhile… and she was so great,” Burton said. “I was so happy to see her. So those kinds of elements mean something to me. Michael, and her… and that character, I just miss it, there’s some freedom about that character that I love.”
If you find yourself getting tired of the same type of chick appearing on here all the time, you can mostly blame 90s Jennifer Love Hewitt and 90s Winona Ryder. Short, hot brunettes with big racks. Winona Ryder stole my heart in the 90s then stole some other shit too, but that doesn’t really matter. What? Like you’re perfect. You don’t understand her life!
“Britney Spears” is on the cover of Women’s Health, and the first thing I guess you notice is that the airbrush didn’t quit finish fixing her mongoloid eyes and they have an arrow that’s supposed to be pointing to abs, but there are no abs where the arrow is pointing. Also, Britney does have a trainer. He’s gay, so he’s really not going to be happy about this. And I don’t want to win a trip to win Britney Spears. I mean, unless she trip is at the Taco Bell up the street. It probably is I feel.
Today is boring, so here’s some pictures of a person named “Charli XCX“. A friend of mine texted me last month and asked, “Do you think Charli XCX is hot?” and I had to Google because I thought she meant a car. But she didn’t mean a car. She meant a person. Is hot? I mean, I’ve had worse. She kinda looks like a Al-Qaeda Lady Gaga. Maybe that’s considered a compliment? idk. Anway, Charli XCX pics. Yay…
Jennifer Aniston is doing every thing she possibly can to get an Oscar nomination for Cake, so she did an interview with Allure where she posed naked with a gay dude, said something about “the pressure” that 45-year old women say when they don’t have kids yet, and talks about feminism even though she hates Angelina Jolie and has been looking for somebody to marry her since 2005 with no degree of success. Anyway, here’s the pics from the interview. I also added four more from the Horrible Bosses 2 premiere, because I guess Allure had seen enough after four pictures.
The leaked Sony emails seem to not be stopping any time soon, and if it were Thanksgiving, I’d be thankful for that. But after threats from North Korea about releasing The Interview, Sony is planing on releasing it anyway, even though they know the product that brought their entire existence down and might start WWIII could have been better if James Franco wasn’t in it.
Sony executives always knew something bad was going to come from the controversial new flick “The Interview” — they just thought it’d be because of James Franco’s terrible acting, hacked emails reveal. “James Franco proves once again that irritation is his strong suit which is a shame because the character could have been appealing and funny out of his hands,” Sony Pictures UK executive Peter Taylor wrote to his colleague in an email obtained by Gawker. Taylor goes on to call the film, which centers around the assassination of North Korea’s dictator, a “misfire,” saying it is “unfunny and repetitive [with] a level of realistic violence that would be shocking in a horror movie.”
I mean, James Franco can’t act. I don’t think that’s really up for debate, right? Him and his brother sound like they just learned English most of the time, and if you’re gonna put James Franco in anything, just give him a bong a hit record. But the CIA is super into torture, so hiring James Franco seems like pretty solid casting to me, I guess.