Ashley Graham And Joe Jonas Really Want That Hashtag, EverybodyBy toddMay 26, 2016
Ashley Graham And Joe Jonas Really Want That Hashtag, Everybody


Cake By The Ocean is one of those songs that, if it had been released in the 90s, it would already be on a CD where children sing along to the hits of today that you could purchase at Wal-Mart. But it came out in 2016, so in 2026, you’ll pretend you never really liked it and nod when people say it should have never been recorded. I guess what I’m saying is that the song is shit. DNCE probably understands that, so they cast Ashley Graham in their video for “Toothbrush” to be on the positive end of a hashtag. I just watched the video today, and it’s cute that we’re led to believe Ashley Graham could fit into one of Joe Jonas‘ t-shirts. Anyway.

“We’re doing cool stuff in bed. We had the beautiful Ashley Graham in the video. We just got to make out and roll around on each other all day,” he shared with E! News’ Jason Kennedy on Live From the Red Carpet. “It was a man’s dream come true.” Joe added, “The first ten minutes, we were comfortable. The makeout scenes were really hot and long and I think they said cut a few times and we both were in our zone and we were like, ‘whatever.'”

Yeah, sure okay. Jonas was banging this until he got dumped then read she was banging a One Direction dude two weeks later. But yes, I’m sure simulated sex with Ashley Graham is a dream come true. 

“One of the most fun things was just the whole day. I don’t think I could really put my finger on one thing,” Ashley shared. “Joe is just so sweet. He and I were just cracking jokes the entire time. I can’t wait to be in DNCE’s next music video.”

Well, we obviously know what jokes they weren’t cracking the whole time, amirite? Speaking of body shaming, has Amy Schumer told us how much she loves her body yet today? It’s been a whole day and I’m starting to get worried. 



Cake By The Ocean is one of those songs that, if it had been released in the 90s, it would already be on a CD where children sing along to…
Here’s Salma Hayek And Susan Sarandon Comparing Boobs & LinksBy toddMay 26, 2016
 

Salma: “Susan, you are bigger than me!” Susan Sarandon: “Of course I am…” #cannes #friends #susansarandon

A photo posted by Salma Hayek Pinault (@salmahayek) on


Leonardo DiCaprio was seen at a club with a model he banged previously  [  Dlisted   ]

Chantelle Connelly got a nipple ring  (NSFW)   [  Taxi Driver Movie   ]

Neon Demon has Jena Malone topless  (NSFW)  [  The Nip Slip  ]

Gillian Anderson made a joke, the Internet butthurt avalanche ensued  [  The Superficial   ]

Hailee Steinfeld has great legs  [  Popoholic  ]

Kate Beckinsale is still MILF Supreme  [  Hollywood Tuna  ]

Ashley Graham is too big for this swimsuit  (NSFW)   [  DrunkenStepfather   ]

Bar Refaeli is super pregnant  [ Moe Jackson  ]

Jennifer Aniston’s mom died  [ Cele|bitchy ]

  Salma: “Susan, you are bigger than me!” Susan Sarandon: “Of course I am…” #cannes #friends #susansarandon A photo posted by Salma Hayek Pinault (@salmahayek) on May 24, 2016 at…

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Amber Heard Is Divorcing Johnny DeppBy toddMay 26, 2016
Amber Heard Is Divorcing Johnny Depp


After 15 months of marriage, Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp on Monday. Let’s break down TMZ‘s story.

The couple married in February of last year, yet Amber is asking for spousal support. Our sources say the couple had NO prenup.

Damn.

She says in the divorce docs that they separated on May 22 … 2 days after Johnny’s mom passed.

Goddamn.

As if that’s not enough … Johnny’s new movie, “Alice Through the Looking Glass,” opens Friday.

Not sure if that one is supposed to be bad news or not. TMZ thinks it might be.  Here’s what we know: Amber Heard is as cold as ice. But in her defense, do you really want to stay married to a dude who throws you under the possible 10 years in prison bus because he wanted to sneak some dogs into Australia? Coincidentally, Amber filed for divorce a little more than a month after she was forced to make an Australian dog jihad propaganda video. That won’t make a happy home, Johnny.


After 15 months of marriage, Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp on Monday. Let’s break down TMZ‘s story. The couple married in February of last year, yet Amber…

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Chloe Grace Moretz’s Ass Doesn’t Have The Time TodayBy toddMay 25, 2016
Chloe Grace Moretz’s Ass Doesn’t Have The Time Today


We’ll never know if Chloe Grace Moretz‘s genetic code was specifically designed for ass appropriation of black women in Oakland or not, all we really know is that she’s short, and got a big ass that struggles to be contained in shorts. This is the look of a woman who hopes you get that sometimes leggings are more of a necessity than a conscious fashion choice. 


We’ll never know if Chloe Grace Moretz‘s genetic code was specifically designed for ass appropriation of black women in Oakland or not, all we really know is that she’s short, and got…

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Courtney Stodden Has Pregnant DepressionBy toddMay 25, 2016
 

When does this end? #firsttrimester #baby #pregnant #morningsickness #notjustinthemornings

A photo posted by Courtney A Stodden (@courtneyastodden) on



When I read that Courtney Stodden said she was pregnant, I didn’t cover it because I thought that’s just what people like Courtney Stodden say. Is that bad? Turns out she is pregnant, and is suffering from actual depression or prenatal depression or she Googled both and wanted to see if she could combine them. Let’s just say “depression”. 

“I suffer from depression,” the expectant reality star tells Us Weekly. And her symptoms have worsened since her pregnancy began. “My depression affects my appetite, sleeping patterns and overall perspective on life,” Stodden tell Us. “At times, I have severe insomnia and other times I find myself sleeping too much. I have feelings of hopelessness but experience many moments of absolute euphoria.”

I feel like if I was pregnant and suffered from depression, I wouldn’t pose for a bathroom pic then fight off my hopelessness to add five hashtags. But I guess we all handle things differently. I wouldn’t do it because those pictures would probably be worth some money since I’d be a pregnant dude. I’m trying to get paid. 


What does depression look like? Not Courtney Stodden two months ago. 


  When does this end? #firsttrimester #baby #pregnant #morningsickness #notjustinthemornings A photo posted by Courtney A Stodden (@courtneyastodden) on May 24, 2016 at 11:13am PDT When I read that Courtney…

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Katherine Webb Had A BabyBy toddMay 25, 2016



Hey, remember Katherine Webb? That was a fun two weeks. If you’re wondering what she’s been up to, she just had a baby with the Bengals’ backup quarterback. If this whole thing is an answer to a question you weren’t asking, my apologies, but I’ve come this far.

Touchdown! Katherine Webb and her football hubby AJ McCarron have welcomed their first child into the world! E! News can confirm the Sports Illustrated model and former Miss Alabama USA gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.

Do they really bounce though? I hope the baby is healthy and whatnot. Me, Katherine Webb and everybody else tried to make Katherine Webb happen, but it just kinda fell off. She’s apparently goes to church a lot and once said she was the “anti-Kardashian“. I guess that’s true in the sense that she couldn’t turn a direct connection to a sports figure into fame. Her husband is also technically a sports figure. 



  A photo posted by Katherine Webb-McCarron (@_katherinewebb) on Feb 20, 2016 at 12:22pm PST Hey, remember Katherine Webb? That was a fun two weeks. If you’re wondering what she’s…

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Taylor Swift Is A Pure Aryan GoddessBy toddMay 25, 2016
Taylor Swift Is A Pure Aryan Goddess


I didn’t know about the Taylor Swift Hitler memes the young people had posted, but I could see how somebody could be easily confused. Like this guy, Andre Anglin.

“Firstly, Taylor Swift is a pure Aryan goddess, like something out of classical Greek poetry. Athena reborn. That’s the most important thing,” explains Andre Anglin, the writer of the white supremacist blog the Daily Stormer. “It is also an established fact that Taylor Swift is secretly a Nazi and is simply waiting for the time when Donald Trump makes it safe for her to come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world. Probably, she will be betrothed to Trump’s son, and they will be crowned American royalty.”

So, obviously this guy has been led astray by countless memes, but in his defense, this was Taylor Swift’s last haircut. I’m not Nazi haircut shaming here, but you decide for yourself. And Germany did go through woods to invade Western Europe, we don’t honestly know what “Out Of The Woods” is really about. Oh, and she’s suing, because that’s kinda her thing. Just like Trump. Ooohhh doesn’t seem so crazy now does it? 


I didn’t know about the Taylor Swift Hitler memes the young people had posted, but I could see how somebody could be easily confused. Like this guy, Andre Anglin. “Firstly, Taylor…

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Ariel Winter Went To Senior PromBy toddMay 25, 2016
 

A photo posted by Jennessa Rose (@jennessarose) on



Putting this after the Bill Cosby post is probably in bad taste, but just knowing the lack of experience inside that building that’s needed to handle all the stuff Ariel Winter has going on brings nothing but great sadness into my heart. But these are pictures of a young lady enjoying her Senior Prom. Let’s just back out now and move on. 


  A photo posted by Jennessa Rose (@jennessarose) on May 22, 2016 at 3:47pm PDT Putting this after the Bill Cosby post is probably in bad taste, but just knowing the…

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Bill Cosby Is Going To TrialBy toddMay 25, 2016
Bill Cosby Is Going To Trial


Andrea Constand was the director of operations for the Temple’s women’s basketball team when Bill Cosby allegedly drugged and molested her in 2004. Cosby’s given Temple a lot of money. In her 2005 lawsuit, one of Cosby’s lawyers was a member of the Temple Board of Trustees. Let that last sentence sink in a minute. Flash forward to 2016.

Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, District Judge Elizabeth McHugh found probable cause after portions of the police statement from accuser Andrea Constand were read in court. Constand was not required to testify and was not in court. Cosby, 78, faces up to 10 years in prison if convicted. The judge’s decision marks a stunning turn of events for the once-beloved sitcom star, who thus far had avoided trial.

America’s criminal justice is set up to where you’ll be given as much time as you need to buy your way out of whatever it is you were got caught doing, and in Cosby’s case, that was 12 years. Let’s hear Cosby’s lawyers drag it out some more.

At issue is “an accusation made many years ago about an incident that allegedly occurred 12 years ago,” Cosby’s defense attorney Brian McMonagle said Tuesday. “I have never once had a case where the prosecution has relied, in a sexual abuse case, on exclusively hearsay evidence in a hearing.” “It is a complete denial of this defendant’s due process rights,” McMonagle added.

I won’t try to sound like I know what Brian is talking about here, but I know he can’t say “I have never once” anymore. Yes, this is an accusation made many years ago by one of the now nearly 60 women who have come forward with pretty much the exact same story, just with different versions of the last creepy shit they heard Cosby say before they passed out. Then woke up to find everybody they wanted to talk to had already been paid to not believe them. Looks like you got some work headed your way, Brian. May I call you “Brian”? 


That Wednesday hashtag.


Andrea Constand was the director of operations for the Temple’s women’s basketball team when Bill Cosby allegedly drugged and molested her in 2004. Cosby’s given Temple a lot of money….

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Sommer Ray Has A Nice Butt & LinksBy toddMay 25, 2016



Baywatch‘s Kelly Rohrbach had a topless photoshoot  (NSFW)   [  Taxi Driver Movie   ]

Guess who charged $300 to attend her birthday?  [  Dlisted   ]

Rita Ora walked around like this  (NSFW site)  [  The Nip Slip  ]

Josh Duggar wants his own reality show now  [  The Superficial   ]

Edita Vilkeviciute has boobs you might like  (NSFW)   [  DrunkenStepfather   ]

Karlie Kloss is all smiles  [ Moe Jackson ]

A moment with Elizabeth Turner  [  Hollywood Tuna  ]

Taylor Swift wore some leggings   [  Popoholic  ]

Joaquin Phoenix is broke  [ Cele|bitchy ]

More Sommer Ray  [ IDLYITW

  A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray Official (@sommerrayy) on May 24, 2016 at 4:40pm PDT Baywatch‘s Kelly Rohrbach had a topless photoshoot  (NSFW)   [  Taxi Driver Movie   ] Guess who charged…

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