Katy Perry Is A Great Interview By todd September 10, 2014
Katy Perry Is A Great Interview

 

“I’ve always been very attracted to gentlemen who have quite large vocabularies. One of my favorite apps is the Dictionary.com app,” – Katy Perry, Harper’s Bazaar, October 2014 issue.

  “I’ve always been very attracted to gentlemen who have quite large vocabularies. One of my favorite apps is the Dictionary.com app,” – Katy Perry, Harper’s Bazaar, October 2014 issue.

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Justin Bieber Stripped At Fashion Rocks, Got Booed By todd September 10, 2014
Justin Bieber Stripped At Fashion Rocks, Got Booed

 

Justin Bieber was at 2014 Fashion Rocks to introduce Rita Ora, and as soon as he walked on stage everybody started booing, because that’s what you do when you see Justin Bieber if you’re not close enough to kick his teeth to the back of his brain. Then he took off all his clothes, because he learned in Bible study that Jesus told his followers to renounce all their worldly possessions and to follow him. Not to a fashion show specifically, but I’m sure everyone in the audience was touched by the holy spirit. 

 

 

 

  Justin Bieber was at 2014 Fashion Rocks to introduce Rita Ora, and as soon as he walked on stage everybody started booing, because that’s what you do when you…

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Cara Delevigne Tattooed The Word “Bacon” On The Bottom Of Her Foot By todd September 10, 2014
Cara Delevigne Tattooed The Word “Bacon” On The Bottom Of Her Foot

 

Far be it from me to ask why anybody would tattoo the word bacon on the bottom of their foot, but Cara Delevigne is pretty hot and just publicly professed her love for bacon. This speaks to me on an emotional level. The voice is saying, “princess cut diamond”.

  Far be it from me to ask why anybody would tattoo the word bacon on the bottom of their foot, but Cara Delevigne is pretty hot and just publicly…

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Britney Is Trying To Sue The Chick Who Banged Her Boyfriend By todd September 10, 2014
Britney Is Trying To Sue The Chick Who Banged Her Boyfriend

 

“Nah, bitch.”

 

You already know that Britney Spears‘ boyfriend David Lucado cheated on her. And you probably might know that he cheated on her with some busted ass Asian porn star named Cali Lee who looks like a nail tech. Now we find out that Britney’s anger is misguided.

Britney’s legal team sent a nasty letter to Cali Lee … warning her that Brit’s former BF David Lucado signed a confidentiality agreement with Britney, and anything he told Cali during their affair must be kept secret. Here’s the thing … it’s BS. Cali is NOT bound by some confidentiality agreement David signed. Period. And Cali’s lawyer has told his client she can say what she wants. In the letter, obtained by TMZ, the lawyer writes, “Rest assured that our client has the resources and the resolve to pursue this matter no matter what the financial cost or outlay in time.”

Yeah, so David Lucado signed the confidentiality agreement. Love You Long Time didn’t, so unless she hires someone to write a tell-all book that contains information that only Lucado would know, then she can only go after him. Britney’s lawyers know that, but they’ll gladly take her money anyway, because Britney is gullible and kinda dumb. She’s basically Forrest Gump if Forrest Gump used to have a really, really nice ass.

  “Nah, bitch.”   You already know that Britney Spears‘ boyfriend David Lucado cheated on her. And you probably might know that he cheated on her with some busted ass…

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KONG SINGLE KONG NO LONGER HAVE BF By todd September 10, 2014
KONG SINGLE KONG NO LONGER HAVE BF

 

Kris Jenner checked her calendar and found out that Khloe Kardashian hasn’t had a news cycle in a while, so to fix that, she leaked an EXCLUSIVE story to Us Weekly to let the world now that Khloe is now “on a break” from her boyfriend of 8 months, rapper French Montana. Since Kris Jenner is controlling the story and flow of information, let’s find out what probably didn’t happen! YAY!

Sometimes a girl just needs her space. Eight months after she started dating French Montana, Khloe Kardashian has said au revoir to the “Cocaine Mafia” rapper, sources reveal exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. “They are on a break,” one source tells Us. “The relationship got too heavy and Khloe needed to take a step back.” Another insider says the Moroccan-born musician, 29, was too “needy” for the reality star, 30. “It grated on her that he became so dependent on her,” the pal tells Us.

In the dating scene, being a 30-year old, 7 foot tall, half-human hybrid can be tough. Especially in LA. Lots of competition out there. Hope she pulls through and takes some time for her/his/itself. Maybe he/she/it can like, dip some bamboo in Nutella or something.

  Kris Jenner checked her calendar and found out that Khloe Kardashian hasn’t had a news cycle in a while, so to fix that, she leaked an EXCLUSIVE story to…
Jessica Burciaga Is Subtle By todd September 10, 2014

 

Jessica Burciaga is too short and…uhhh…”curvy” to be anything other than an Instagram star and a page you pause on in Maxim, but actress Megan Good launched a magazine in LA yesterday, and since print magazines generate slightly more revenue than pay phones, they had a red carpet event and Jessica attended. I’m not not sure what message she was trying to convey with the outfit she chose but…no, wait. Yes I do. The message is “look at my boobs”. Pretty sure the message is definitely “look at my boobs”.  Ok, everybody look. See them? Cool. Next.

  Jessica Burciaga is too short and…uhhh…”curvy” to be anything other than an Instagram star and a page you pause on in Maxim, but actress Megan Good launched a magazine…

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Nina Agdal Isn’t Depressing By todd September 09, 2014
Nina Agdal Isn’t Depressing

 

Lots of talk about domestic violence on the site lately, so here’s Nina Agdal in a bikini wishing you peace or something.  I don’t hit women, because that’s just pretty dumb and you shouldn’t do that, but mostly because women aren’t like us. They’ll set you on fire where you fucking sleep then go open another bottle of wine and play Candy Crush they don’t give a fuck. So yeah,  here’s Nina Agdal in a bikini. Wait, is repeatedly punching a woman’s cervix considered domestic violence? I’d like to clear that up before I comment further on this picture.

  Lots of talk about domestic violence on the site lately, so here’s Nina Agdal in a bikini wishing you peace or something.  I don’t hit women, because that’s just…

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Paris Jackson Is 16 And Pregnant By todd September 09, 2014
Paris Jackson Is 16 And Pregnant

 

Her “dad” prefers 12 and molested.  ZING! Ooohh sick burn, Todd. Sick burn.

Pregnancy rumors are surrounding Michael Jackson’s 16-year-old daughter Paris today after paps caught her on a dinner date sporting what looked like a baby bump. A source was quoted by the Daily Star newspaper as saying: “I saw her at dinner and she twice made a toast drinking water instead of wine. That and the prominent stomach bulge got people talking.” News that the troubled star may be expecting her first child comes just days after she was reportedly spotted looking at engagement rings with her supposed boyfriend. 

Paris Jackson attempted suicide  14 months ago, so I’m sure bringing a baby into the world will fix all that. All of her childhood issues and mental health problems will vanish as soon as the she sees the baby. Because babies are precious blessings from Jesus who should never be killed before they’ve had the chance to turn 18 and join the military so they can die over there the way Jesus wanted.

  Her “dad” prefers 12 and molested.  ZING! Ooohh sick burn, Todd. Sick burn. Pregnancy rumors are surrounding Michael Jackson’s 16-year-old daughter Paris today after paps caught her on a…

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Ben Carson Wants Us To Stop “Demonizing” Ray Rice By todd September 09, 2014
Ben Carson Wants Us To Stop “Demonizing” Ray Rice

 

Ben Carson, the bland, former chief of pediatric neurosurgery at the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center who conservatives want to run for president, because they think we’ll be tricked by his skin color instead of focusing on views, chimed in on the whole Ray Rice thing. HINT: It’s not good.

“I’m hopeful that they will get some help for him. Obviously, anyone who would do something like that needs some help,” Carson said Monday on “The Steve Malzberg Show” on Newsmax TV….“Let’s not all jump on the bandwagon of demonizing this guy. He obviously has some real problems,” Carson said.  “His wife knows that because she subsequently married him.” (hey, Todd here. Yikes)…Despite the violence, for which Rice apologized, the couple later married. Carson pleaded for both to get counseling. “They both need some help,” Carson said. “Rather than just jumping on an impunitive bandwagon [of criticism], let’s see if we can get some help for these people.”
 
So if you can’t demonize a guy for knocking his wife unconscious in an elevator, please let me know what we can demonize a guy for, because I’d really like to know. Affordable healthcare? Although they clearly both need help, you know who doesn’t need any sympathy nor lack of criticism? The guy who knocked his wife unconscious in an elevator. Meanwhile, Janay Rice, who had to sit at a press conference and apologize for getting beat with her abuser sitting next to her like he was her parole officer, is now basically Belle in a really fucked up version of  Beauty and the Beast, and is STILL apologizing and blaming everyone except Ray Rice, because she’s been Stockholm Syndromed and beat in the head so much all logic and sense of self has left her brain. She literally believes it’s her and the media’s fault that her husband can no longer has the privilege of playing in the NFL. Look, divorce him. Take half his money, then make a song featuring Rihanna. All songs featuring Rihanna do very well chart-wise and on iTunes. Then donate half of  what you make on that to a battered women’s shelter. Then maybe go to the The Cheesecake Factory. Their avocado eggrolls are surprisingly on point.
  Ben Carson, the bland, former chief of pediatric neurosurgery at the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center who conservatives want to run for president, because they think we’ll be tricked by…

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Taylor Swift’s Song “Bad Blood” Is About Katy Perry By todd September 09, 2014
Taylor Swift’s Song “Bad Blood” Is About Katy Perry

 

Taylor Swift‘s interview in this month’s issue of Rolling Stone pretty much confirms everything you need to know about Taylor Swift. She’s legit crazy. Not normal girl crazy, like for real.  But if she was ever sent to death row for killing a boyfriend, the Governor would commute her sentence, because she’s mentally slow and more than likely has the brain development of a 8-year old. Anyway, since she hasn’t dated anyone since Harry Styles, she can’t really fill any more of her platinum selling burn books with shit about dudes anymore, she wrote a song about Katy Perry. Oohh, drama!

According to the magazine, Swift has this to say about the unidentified female celebrity: “For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life? [Then last year] she did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy!” Swift further explained: “It had to do with business. … She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational — you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”

So how do we know this about Katy Perry? Because Katy Perry’s Google alerts informed her then she tweeted this. So who really wins here? Nobody. The answer is nobody. This is a fight between an asexual sociopath and a record label created abomination who has a song on the radio right now that rhymes “Japanese-y” with “Mariah Carey”.  Let’s put Katy Perry’s top half on Taylor Swift’s bottom half so we can all win. Also, while they’re both under, fix Katy’s weird left eye.

  Taylor Swift‘s interview in this month’s issue of Rolling Stone pretty much confirms everything you need to know about Taylor Swift. She’s legit crazy. Not normal girl crazy, like…

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