To be honest, I don’t know who Pascal Craymer is. At first I thought she had something to do with projective geometry, but I dug a little deeper and WENN told me that, “Ex-TOWIE star Pascal Craymer enjoys the sunshine at Chalkwell Beach in Essex”. Although I didn’t know what three words in that sentence meant, I understood that she was in a bikini and has big boobs. I feel that’s a very good starting point that I try to incorporate into my everyday life.
W Magazine had Chrissy Teigen in for a topless photoshoot, and when she posted the pic on Instagram, Instagram immediately lost their shit. It’s been deleted four times since, because if anything is a danger to America, it’s a nipple. Look, if we weren’t so sacred of nipples, maybe Bristol Palin would have a better understanding of how people get pregnant and maybe Josh Duggar could inappropriately touch himself to this, instead of a 5-year old (Sorry, Chrissy). Also, actual songs have been written about Chrissy Teigen’s nipples. I think that should pretty much void any Instagram policy.
This is why Kate Hudson is probably super into anal Dlisted
Pretty sure this is Demi Lovato (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie
Jonah Hill ate skinny Jonah Hill The Superficial
Natalie Portman is sweaty and cold Popoholic
Charli XCX wants you to see her panties DrunkenStepfather
Karreuche Tran has a nice shirt Hollywood Tuna
Candice Swanepoel woke up like dis Moe Jackson
Amy Schumer probably has a race problem The Frisky
Since Bristol Palin’s new baby was a mistake and she’s disappointed but it was planned and it’s a miracle, here’s Ariana Grande performing at the The 29th Annual Dance on the Pier 26 in New York City. As you can see, she’s not dancing around logic. Oh, and she’s singing into the microphone, not telling the audience the dangers of ponytails.
Although nobody wanted it, Kanye West headlined Glastonbury this weekend, where a British comedian rushed the stage. Kanye handled it exactly the way you’d expect Kanye to handle it, because he truly believes he’s God. But while he was on stage trying to prove it more to himself than to the crowd by telling them they were “watching the greatest living rock star on the planet!”, somebody did THIS. This might be better than the same-sex marriage ruling.
Bristol Palin (see here holding a scale model of her vagina), posted yet another blog post, and this time she has a message for all you haters who have shit to say about her being pregnant twice out of wedlock despite preaching abstinence. Fundamentalism breeds a lot of unwanted kids, turns out it doesn’t breed any irony.
This is still how much I care about anything negative … #prolife ❤️ God is good, happy Friday!!
Yes, we know you don’t care about anything negative. Especially pregnancy tests. Anyway, despite saying “I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one” and “I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you”, she is now claiming that….wait for it….the pregnancy was PLANNED. Why? Wait for it again.
I made a mistake, but it’s not the mistake all these giddy assholes have loved to assume. This pregnancy was actually planned. Everyone knows I wanted more kids, to have a bigger family. Believing I was heading that way, I got ahead of myself.
Bitch, shut up. Just shut up. Is the baby a mistake or was it planned? Or was the mistake your fiance finding out before your plan was finished? Please go to grocery a buy a bunch of bananas and a pack of condoms, because I don’t think any of us would feel safe with these two and the rest of your bastards at Castle Black.
CNN mistook a sex toy flag for an ISIS flag Dlisted
Selena Gomez is topless, wet The Superficial
Pretty sure this is Demi Lovato (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie
Jessica Simpson seems cold DrunkenStepfather
Here’s a video of Shia LaBeouf freestyling Hollywood Tuna
Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini, anyone? The Nip Slip
Jennifer Lawrence has tight jeans Popoholic
First off, these pictures are from Miss Universe, not Miss USA. Please understand that I don’t care. Cool. That’s out of the way. Now, during his Presidential announcement, trust-fund baby Donald Trump said all Mexicans were thieves and rapists, so not surprisingly, he’s current leading all Republican candidates in the polls. Turns out Univision, who holds the rights to televise the Miss USA pageant, didn’t really care for that, so they told him to go fuck himself, thereby backing out of the five year deal they signed in January. Trump, being Trump, is now suing them:
In an interview with the On Media blog, Trump, a co-owner of the Miss Universe Organization, accused Univision of defaulting on an “iron-clad” five-year, $13.5 million contract that it had no right to terminate. “They have no termination rights whatsoever,” Trump said. “They’ve defaulted on their contract because of pressure put on them by Mexico.”
Look, you know why Miss USA is on Univision? Because Latinos love them some pageants. And if you think Univision can’t get $13.5 out of there petty cash drawer, sorry about it. So to recap, Donald Trump is an old white guy, was handed a job and an inheritance by his rich dad, hates Mexicans, and when he doesn’t get his way, he’ll sue. He’s pretty much the perfect GOP candidate.
Charlotte McKinney did Men’s Health and these are her boobs in bikini, but the Supreme Court just ruled that same-sex marriage is legal nationwide. They also overturned every single state’s ban, because “states’ rights” usually just means “we fee like we should be able to own slaves and burn gays so…”. Anyway, like I said. Here’s Charlotte McKinney’s boobs. Special shoutout to all the closested gay pastors who can’t sing along with Cece Peniston today because Jesus might get mad.