Kevin Smith Shaved His Beard By todd October 28, 2014
Kevin Smith Shaved His Beard

 

Kevin Smith wrote a movie called Yoga Hosers (“…when an ancient evil rises from beneath Canada’s crust and threatens their big invitation to a Grade 12 party”). And what you just read after the movie’s title is part of the premise, but I’m confused because it doesn’t star Justin Bieber, it stars Johnny Depp instead. Smith shaved his beard for the movie, where I assume he’s playing a character who is on some kind of neighborhood watchlist and has to check in with his parole officer several times during the film.

 

  Kevin Smith wrote a movie called Yoga Hosers (“…when an ancient evil rises from beneath Canada’s crust and threatens their big invitation to a Grade 12 party”). And what…

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Alyssa Milano Put A Breastfeeding Pic On Instagram By todd October 28, 2014
Alyssa Milano Put A Breastfeeding Pic On Instagram

 

As humans, we are all collectively okay with seeing other people follow dogs around so they pick up their shit then put in a plastic bag, but if we see a woman with her tit out feeding her baby, we freak the fuck out. I’m not saying I really want to see either, but let’s all just chill on the topic of breastfeeding. It’s not gross, it’s natural. And as long as you don’t keep the titty in the kid’s mouth until it can solve simple mathematical equations, then shut the hell up about it. If you want to complain about something, complain about the fact that when women have kids, they assume that 10 months of chocolate pork rind cravings and elastic pants is enough for a medical degree. Women think they know everything anyway, but when they push another human being out of their vagina, it becomes some next level shit that makes them believe autism can be prevented by mixing pedialyte and coffe creamer or whatever. Anyway, Alyssa Milano posted a pic on Instagram of her breastfeeding her kid with a weird, borderline creepy quote. If this was 1996, I’d be kinda jealous of this kid, but Alyssa Milan is 41 now.

  As humans, we are all collectively okay with seeing other people follow dogs around so they pick up their shit then put in a plastic bag, but if we…
The Taylor Swift Wax Figure Isn’t Creepy At All By todd October 28, 2014

I thought about going to see Annabelle at some point, but now I guess I don’t have to, because Madame Tussauds just unveiled this new wax figure of Taylor Swift. It’s all dead eyes, high-waisted shorts, and extra money saved from not having to use any wax in the ass. Christ. I think if you say “Taylor Swift” five times in a mirror, this appears behind you holding a cat and a Target bag to ask directions to the nearest pumpkin patch. 

I thought about going to see Annabelle at some point, but now I guess I don’t have to, because Madame Tussauds just unveiled this new wax figure of Taylor Swift….

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Jennifer Lawrence Is Single Maybe By todd October 27, 2014

 

 So Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence were last seen together six days ago, but today their love has died apparently or something. Not sure.

 “Jen is the one who broke it off with Chris,” a source tells PEOPLE. The Oscar-winning actress, 24, and the Grammy-winning Coldplay frontman, 37, were first linked in August, shortly after Lawrence split from her boyfriend, actor Nicholas Hoult. Following a few quiet date nights at Martin’s Malibu home, the romance seemed to move further into the spotlight on Sept. 19, when Lawrence attended Martin’s performance at the iHeartRadio music festival in Las Vegas. 

I sat in this post for a while hoping for more information than “Jen is the one who broke it off with Chris,” , but it looks like  “Jen is the one who broke it off with Chris,” is what everyone has decided to run with to publicly say Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence are no longer a couple. Like, are we sure the source was quoted in proper context? Jen broke what off with Chris? A foot in Gwyneth Paltrow’s ass? A key in a door? Some breadsticks? A tampon string? Let’s take a minute to see if we’re all on the same page here.

   So Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence were last seen together six days ago, but today their love has died apparently or something. Not sure.  “Jen is the one who…

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Basic Halloween By todd October 27, 2014

It’s that time of year, my friends. Females the world over will using a holiday created to remember dead people as an excuse to unleash their inner sluts by adding the word “sexy” in front of a profession so they can go get shitfaced. Good times, good times. The banner pic is Maria Menounos‘ ass in camouflage, and I added some more people who you may or may not care about, but I mean, I’m just kinda biding my time until Heidi Klum’s costume destroys every idea you had or some privileged white girl goes outside in blackface.

It’s that time of year, my friends. Females the world over will using a holiday created to remember dead people as an excuse to unleash their inner sluts by adding…

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Kim Kardashian Still Has Birthday Parties At 34 By todd October 27, 2014

You know Kim Kardashian has that special kind of female psychosis that makes chicks celebrate their “birthday week” and also makes them lack any other ideas than “OMG Vegas!” for where they want to spend their birthday. So here she is turning 34 at TAO Nightclub with her rack hanging out while her infant is unaware that she is in store for a lifetime of her own deep, female  psychological trauma that will force her to ask people on Facebook in July what she should wear for Halloween.

You know Kim Kardashian has that special kind of female psychosis that makes chicks celebrate their “birthday week” and also makes them lack any other ideas than “OMG Vegas!” for…

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Ashley Greene Smokes Crack Maybe By todd October 27, 2014

Hey, remember when Ashley Greene‘s apartment burned down and her dogs died because of a “candle” because bitches love candles? Turns out she was smoking rock and I guess she was too high to see every was fire.

Ashley Greene’s apartment that burned to a crisp last year had one remnant … a crack pipe, according to a sworn statement by the building manager. TMZ broke the story … Ashley, her boyfriend and her brother were all sleeping in the unit when a fire broke out after a burning candle ignited some nearby fabric. All 3 fled, but one of her dogs died. The fire did extensive damage to a number of units and a number of tenants/owners are suing the “Twilight” star. The manager, Adrian Mayorga, is also suing, claiming he suffered permanent respiratory damage. According to his sworn deposition — obtained by TMZ — Mayorga says one of the men who cleared out the unit after the fire told him he found a glass crack pipe. Mayorga said, he was the first person in the hallway after the blaze broke out and says he saw Ashley and the others “disoriented … they looked like they were drunk or under the influence of something.” Mayorga also says in the depo … “The only people I saw getting treated was Ashley Greene, her brother Joe Green, and her — the current boyfriend, Ryan Phillippe.”

But, wait! PLOT TWIST! A “source close to Greene” (her PR team) says there was no crack pipe.

A source close to Greene bashed the manager’s statement, telling Us, “There was no crack pipe found in Ashley’s apartment. It’s all hearsay from unnamed sources — Mayorga’s claiming he heard from a friend of an unidentified worker who may have entered the apartment. Additionally, Phillippe went on the record saying he wasn’t there.”

Totally. It’s all just “hearsay from unnamed sources”. And by that they mean, “building manager on record in his sworn deposition”. The unnamed source is Adrian Mayorga. Like, his name is right there in the article. All her PR team has to do is Google “Ashley Greene crack pipe” and they can see his name. It’s really not that hard to find. Maybe their Internet is down or something.

Hey, remember when Ashley Greene‘s apartment burned down and her dogs died because of a “candle” because bitches love candles? Turns out she was smoking rock and I guess she…

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‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Got Canceled Because The Mama June Is Dating A Child Molester By todd October 24, 2014

Mana June, the mother of Honey Boo Boo and enemy of Ranger Smith in Jellystone Park, is dating a convicted child molester who forced one of her 8-year old relatives to perform oral sex on him. That type of behavior is frowned upon outside a trailer park

TLC has CANCELLED “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” TMZ has learned, in the wake of our story that Mama June is dating a convicted child molester who sexually abused one of her relatives. The decision comes one day after TMZ broke the story … June has been secretly dating Mark McDaniel, who got out of prison in March after serving 10 years for forcing oral sex on an 8-year-old. We’ve learned June has denied she’s seeing McDaniel, despite a photo we posted showing the 2 of them at a small party in a hotel room. TLC clearly did not believe her and cancelled the show because they felt she was putting her children at risk. TLC has shot an entire new season of episodes but will not air them. Although the show has fallen off its ratings high, we’re told it’s still very profitable, so TLC is taking a financial hit. But the network is not turning its back on the kids, telling us, “Supporting the health and welfare of these remarkable children is our only priority. TLC is faithfully committed to the children’s ongoing comfort and well-being.” Our sources say the network will pay for tutors and counselors for the kids.

I’ve never seen one episode of this show, because why the fuck would I, but really only had to take a cursory  look at the cast to know that if they had a barbecue restaurant it would win blue ribbons in competitions because their barbecue would be made out of teenagers who broke down on the highway. These people are  The Hills Have Eyes. So why wouldn’t this chick think it was okay to bring a convicted child molester around her daughter? She probably thinks Mt. Dew is on the periodic table.

Mana June, the mother of Honey Boo Boo and enemy of Ranger Smith in Jellystone Park, is dating a convicted child molester who forced one of her 8-year old relatives…
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Kaley Cuoco Does Yoga By todd October 24, 2014

Kaley Cuoco got famous for being in a show about smart people made for dumb people, then she was considered hot even though she looks like Paula Deen most of the time. She was also a victim of The Fappening. She appears to be a victim of humidity in these pictures though.

Kaley Cuoco got famous for being in a show about smart people made for dumb people, then she was considered hot even though she looks like Paula Deen most of…

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Chrissy Teigen Left Twitter Because Of Death Threats Over A Gun Control Tweet By todd October 24, 2014

 Yesterday in Canada, a gunman shot and killed a corporal at the National War Memorial in Ottawa then walked into some parliament building where he fired off more shots before getting shot and killed himself. When I first saw “active shooter” in my feed, I pretty much assumed it was in America, then I was pleasantly surprised when I found out it was in Canada because 100 people probably just got shot in America while I was typing this sentence. Long story short, Chrissy Teigen tweeted this then people went apeshit.

active shooting in Canada, or as we call it in america, wednesday

People are calling this “controversial” and in “bad taste”, but if you want to call the truth those things, then you’re probably planning to take your 9-year old to an Uzi range this week. I won’t even get into the irony of a person receiving death threats over a tweet that fucking nails the gun problem we have in America, but again, this is America. Despite having every known advantage in the known world, and some of the greatest minds and technological advances in the history of mankind, we all live in a place where the majority of the people think that a tool as crude as a gun still has a place in society. For most part Americans are paranoid, are unable to see that the powers who control our government and media have us fighting over who paid more for the water hose as we watch our neighborhood burn to the ground then shock us with the docility stick with the McDonald’s Dollar Menu and the season premiere of The Walking Dead. At what point do things you see happen every single day stop becoming “tragedies”? At what point do I start posting more boobs on the site? This are both great questions to ponder.

 Yesterday in Canada, a gunman shot and killed a corporal at the National War Memorial in Ottawa then walked into some parliament building where he fired off more shots before…

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