Jennifer Aniston Looks GoodBy toddMay 24, 2010

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This is the second time in a week that I have said Jennifer Aniston was hot, so either my black heart is melting or I’ll be yelling at kids for tearing off the label on my TV Guide soon. Or I’l be buying robot insurance. It’s so hard nowadays with all the gangs, rap music, and robots. Old Glory Insurance covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attacks regardless of current health. As a senior citizen you’re probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere and the eat old people’s medicine for fuel. You need to feel safe. And that’s harder and harder to do because robots may attack at anytime. And when they grab you with their claws, you can’t break free, because they are made of metal and robots are strong.

This is the second time in a week that I have said Jennifer Aniston was hot, so either my black heart is melting or I’ll be yelling at kids for…

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Simon Mojack Is DeadBy toddMay 24, 2010

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UPDATE: OMG, you’re not gonna believe this! It was drugs!

Five months after his 32-year old wife, actress Brittany Murphy, died of community acquired pneumonia,” iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication, Simon Monjack was found dead last night in the same house.
New York Daily News reports:

The Los Angeles County coroner’s office confirmed early Monday morning that the 39-year-old screenwriter died shortly after emergency services received a 911 call at 9:24 p.m. PT Sunday night. “We have detectives at scene,” Sgt. Louie Lozano told the Los Angeles Times. “They are conducting their investigation. Once we have further information, we will provide it.”Monjack was pronounced dead by emergency personnel. Although the exact cause of death is still unknown, police said it appears to be natural causes. Back in December, Monjack’s wife died of pneumonia complicated by an iron deficiency, anemia and multiple drug intoxication. The two had been married since 2007.

It would be romantic to say he died of a broken heart, but since a broken heart doesn’t come in prescription form, I’m gonna say drugs. Lots of drugs. In related news, if you’re in the market for a new house, I’d probably skip over this one on the tour. Apparently it makes people in their 30’s ghosts. You’d have a better time living in a house that was built on top of an Indian burial ground.

UPDATE: OMG, you’re not gonna believe this! It was drugs! Five months after his 32-year old wife, actress Brittany Murphy, died of community acquired pneumonia,” iron deficiency anemia, and multiple…

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