Hey There, Taylor SwiftBy toddNovember 12, 2014

Unlike Kim Kardashian or Kanye West, Taylor Swift sold a million albums in a week, so you can see that she has a pretty good reason to show up to Good Morning America because she’s actually promoting something.  Like I said, I haven’t been to sleep, but I listened to her whole album last night and my only issue with it is that the download didn’t include a hairbrush and a table. God, I need sleep. If Paper really wanted to break the Internet, they’d put Taylor Swift’s ass on the cover because only like six people have ever seen it. Maybe seven. The chick is flawless. If I was a serial killer, I’d totally make lamps out of her legs and display them in a prominent place in my home.

Unlike Kim Kardashian or Kanye West, Taylor Swift sold a million albums in a week, so you can see that she has a pretty good reason to show up to…

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LOLBy toddNovember 12, 2014
LOL

 

Ok, so Paper said, “For our winter issue, we gave ourselves one assignment: Break The Internet”. I don’t want to be the one to point this out, but in terms of breaking the Internet, you’re gonna have to do a lot better than photoshopping in her daughter’s waist on a 34-year old woman whose been married three times and using up the Earth’s supply of baby oil to cover up her ass that we’ve all seen a million times. The only thing that’s breaking is North West’s will when she gets her first iPad. I mean, say what you want about Iggy Azalea and Nicki Minaj doing the same thing, but at least they have shit on iTunes and Ticketmaster you can buy. Like, what exactly is Kim Kardashian promoting? Sequined garbage bags? Her fragrance? I don’t think honey-glazed ass crack is the best way to do that. I hope I’m not wrong. Is the Internet broke? I typing this online right now and Netflix is asking me if I want to continue watching X-Files so….

 

On a sidenote, remember when Keira Knightley posed topless only if they didn’t retouch her boobs? Kanye West would have to reboot Kim Kardashian in safe mode if she tried to do that.

  Ok, so Paper said, “For our winter issue, we gave ourselves one assignment: Break The Internet”. I don’t want to be the one to point this out, but in terms…

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Beyonce Woke Up And Used Photoshop Like ThisBy toddNovember 11, 2014
Beyonce Woke Up And Used Photoshop Like This

 

Beyonce posted a bunch of pictures on Tumblr yesterday, including this one where she’s wearing something that says, “99 Problems But My Ass Ain’t 1”, but we can all assume that one of the problems is not knowing how to effectively use Photoshop. Because instead of going to see Interstellar to experience Einstein’s Curvature of Space, you can just look at those curtains. And, like, what’s going on with her vagina? Did her water just break in these pictures? Is she at a hospital right now? She might want to go to a hospital. That looks kinda painful.

  Beyonce posted a bunch of pictures on Tumblr yesterday, including this one where she’s wearing something that says, “99 Problems But My Ass Ain’t 1”, but we can all…

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Miley Cyrus Hates Jennifer LawrenceBy toddNovember 11, 2014

 Two years ago, Miley Cyrus was a white, Disney pop princess who sang songs about achieving your goals by climbing and hearing your favorite song while you’re in a taxi. Then as soon as her contract was up, she was allowed to hang around black people for the first time, so she co-opted what she thought was black culture and became infused with the power of ratchet then started writing songs about dropping molly, being drunk in da club. She also started twerking even though she doesn’t have an ass and pretending to blow backup dancers in giant bear suits. Her fiance at the time, Liam Hemsworth, was a not a fan, so he dumped her and started banging this (good lawd) like two weeks later. Liam Hemsworth is also pretty great friends with Jennifer Lawrence, and when her nude photos leaked, Miley proved she really isn’t about girl power. Bitches be jealous!

 “After Miley heard about and looked at Jennifer nude leaks, she texted Liam,” a source told HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY. “One of the issues that had broken them up was Liam thinking that Miley wasn’t acting respectably and was putting too much of herself out there wearing skin-baring clothes. She texted him a few times, including a message that said, “Your buddy’s pics just came out and she showed so much more of her body than I ever have” and “I don’t think that’s classy taking racy photos like that.” Liam was never a fan of Miley’s over-the-top and revealing looks. Everyone remembers the 2013 MTV VMAs when she twerked on stage, right? Miley used Jennifer’s photos as opportunity to get back at him for basically dissing her sexiness. Plus, he’s really close with his Hunger Games co-star, so that would just twist the knife in further. “She wanted to really get back at Liam for having been so hard on her and her sexiness,” our source continued. “She considered it a victory.”

Women logic is pretty great, especially when you consider that Jennifer Lawrence got naked for her boyfriend at the time in pictures that were never supposed to see the light of day unless Nicolas Hault happened to be  masturbating during the day. Miley Cyrus wore this last week. And this what her tour looks like. And she posts stuff like this on Instagram. And does this in magazines. So Liam and the rest of us should really listen to her when she gives her thoughts on what’s classy. She’s from Tennessee, so maybe she doesn’t know what that word means. I hear their dictionaries have pictures of Jesus building a border wall with bodies of dead gay guys.

   Two years ago, Miley Cyrus was a white, Disney pop princess who sang songs about achieving your goals by climbing and hearing your favorite song while you’re in a…

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KONG SHOW NIPPLES, KONG SHOW LEG AS WELLBy toddNovember 11, 2014

Yeah so, I guess I should have posted these yesterday, but I put up a bunch of hot chicks (I’m looking at you too, Taylor Swift), so I didn’t want to ruin it with pictures of the Kardashian sister who takes the most estrogen injections. So I’m putting them up today. Basically, Khloe Kardashian and some other people who like Ciroc Pineapple celebrated French Montana’s birthday, but when it’s your birthday you get all the attention, and that make Kong angry because Kong like attention too so Kong wore this dress with no bra so you could see her nipples and one of her legs, too. So, yeah, here’s a bunch of pics where you can see Khloe Kardashian’s nipples. I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Yeah so, I guess I should have posted these yesterday, but I put up a bunch of hot chicks (I’m looking at you too, Taylor Swift), so I didn’t want…

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Jennifer Lawrence Had A Wardrobe MalfunctionBy toddNovember 11, 2014

Jennifer Lawrence attended the The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 World Premiere tonight and she didn’t trip and fall or say anything weird, so something had to happen, so her boobs fell out as she was leaving the afterparty.I guess we’ll find out later what Lorde has on her iCloud.

Jennifer Lawrence attended the The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 World Premiere tonight and she didn’t trip and fall or say anything weird, so something had to happen, so her…

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Anastasia Ashley Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddNovember 11, 2014

The wind wants you to see Claudia Romani’s thong  (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie

Alysa Milano just pops it out anywhere Drunken Stepfather

Britney Spears’ dad chose her new boyfriend   Dlisted

Cailin Russo is perfecttion   Hollywood Tuna

Nick Jonas will burn in hell   The Superficial

THIS.  Popoholic

Anna Kendrick is still talking about how not pretty she is   Fishwrapper

Amanda Bynes has reached a new level of crazy   Celebslam

Jenna Malone had some wardrobe issue  Moe Jackson

The wind wants you to see Claudia Romani’s thong  (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie Alysa Milano just pops it out anywhere Drunken Stepfather Britney Spears’ dad chose her new boyfriend   Dlisted…

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Taylor Swift’s Music Video For “Blank Space” Is BatshitBy toddNovember 10, 2014
Taylor Swift’s Music Video For “Blank Space” Is Batshit

 

Taylor Swift released her music video for “Blank Space” today, and you’ll probably find this really hard to believe, but it’s about dudes that she’s dated. I know, right?! So not like her. Anyway, just watch the video. If Taylor Swift texted me, I’d throw my phone in the ocean then dive in and get it and burn it just to make sure.

 

  Taylor Swift released her music video for “Blank Space” today, and you’ll probably find this really hard to believe, but it’s about dudes that she’s dated. I know, right?!…

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Ariana Grande Wore This To The MTV EMAsBy toddNovember 10, 2014

Ariana Grande performed as sexy Tron at the CMAs last week, then she performed as regular sex at the 2014 MTV EMAs this weekend. You’re probably reading this thinking that I post about Ariana Grande too much, but remember, any post about Ariana Grande is one less post about god or politics. See? Not so bad now is it? And nobody at Breitbart has an ass like this. You might also be thinking, “ew she looks like a 12-year old”. Subjective, I get that. But if you’re looking at these pics of a 21-year old chick and the first thing you can think of is a 12-year old, then maybe you’re on the wrong site. I mean, whatever you want to look at in the privacy of your own home, go for it. No judgment. This is America. I mean, the FBI will probably ask you about it, but get really belligerent and tell them you pay their salary. They’ll probably let you go.

Ariana Grande performed as sexy Tron at the CMAs last week, then she performed as regular sex at the 2014 MTV EMAs this weekend. You’re probably reading this thinking that…

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Lauren Victoria Hanley Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddNovember 10, 2014

LOL @ the “author description” of Kim Kardashian‘s selfie book   Dlisted

Jerry Seinfeld spends too much time on WebMD  The Superficial

Madonna is topless for some magazine (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Britney Spears’ nipples are kinda looking in the same direction (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie

Miley Cyrus needs to chill with the selfies Popoholic

Sara Malakul gets topless   Hollywood Tuna

Alessandra Ambrosio got naked for Lui (NSFW).   Celebslam

Caitlin O’Connor should be in every commercial  Moe Jackson

Ariana Grande sounds super convincing   Fishwrapper

Nicki Minaj’s boobs are bigger than her head  Just Jared

This movie looks scary as fuck Shock Till You Drop

 

LOL @ the “author description” of Kim Kardashian‘s selfie book   Dlisted Jerry Seinfeld spends too much time on WebMD  The Superficial Madonna is topless for some magazine (NSFW) Drunken…

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