Emily Ratajkowski Loves Bikinis, WeedBy toddApril 04, 2018
Emily Ratajkowski Loves Bikinis, Weed

 

Emily Ratajkowski is always in bikini, and I didn’t think it would be easy to improve on that, but then she posted this picture on Instagram. She might be the perfect woman. I really don’t think it’s up for debate at this point.  The only thing that could change my mind is if she’s vegan and starts saying YouTube is demonetizing her videos. That would tell me instantly that she’s a member of the NRA.

 

(more…)

  Emily Ratajkowski is always in bikini, and I didn’t think it would be easy to improve on that, but then she posted this picture on Instagram. She might be…

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The ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Trailer Is HereBy toddNovember 29, 2017
The ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Trailer Is Here

 

The trailer for the 4,783rd Marvel movie, Avengers: Infinity War, dropped this morning and it has all the Avengers from all the other movies in it. I guess that’s cool. I’ve watched it twice and it looks okay. It’s not DC, so at least I’ll be able to expect a coherent story and CG that doesn’t look like a 1996 video game. Will I care about anybody involved when they fight a giant, purple Josh Brolin? Probably not. But Captain America has a beard now and that means he’s edgy or something. Anyway, this movie will make a billion dollars and the Justice League sequel will be exactly like this but worse, so let’s all wait for that.

 

  The trailer for the 4,783rd Marvel movie, Avengers: Infinity War, dropped this morning and it has all the Avengers from all the other movies in it. I guess that’s…
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Here’s Serena Williams’ DaughterBy toddSeptember 13, 2017
Here’s Serena Williams’ Daughter

 

Another woman was allowed to win the U.S. Open since Serena Williams was pregnant, but now she’s not pregnant anymore. Her daughter with Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, made her first appearance on social media today. Her daughter’s name is Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. That’s very progressive. I wouldn’t make fun of her name, because this child has probably already developed an app that’s ready to go IPO.

 

Meet Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. You have to check out link in bio for her amazing journey. Also check out my IG stories

A post shared by Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) on

  Another woman was allowed to win the U.S. Open since Serena Williams was pregnant, but now she’s not pregnant anymore. Her daughter with Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, made her first…

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Will Smith Is The Genie In Disney’s Live-Action ‘Aladdin’, Is Racist Or SomethingBy toddJuly 17, 2017
Will Smith Is The Genie In Disney’s Live-Action ‘Aladdin’, Is Racist Or Something

 

When we first heard about the casting for Disney’s live-action Aladdin, it was about how they couldn’t find actors to play Aladdin and Jasmine. They finally settled on a Middle Eastern dude and a half-Indian to play Jasmine. Awesome! Two non-white people as the leads in a big budget movie! That’s great, right?! It’s 2017, so of course not lol. Aladdin set in a fictional place in the Middle East so Jasmine being half-Indian is PROBLEMATIC OMG. It’s imperative to cast real Arab actors in a movie live-action remake of a cartoon about a dude and a chick flying on a magic carpet if you want to be truly woke. Think of the children! Anyway, none of that matters, because they might as well cast my Starbucks cup as Aladdin and Jasmine, because Aladdin is gonna be the Will Smith Show.

Disney has officially found its Aladdin, Jasmine, and Genie for the live-action “Aladdin” remake. The three cast members were announced at the D23 Expo on Saturday. The House of Mouse may have been having problems finding its titular Aladdin for the remake of the 1992 animated classic prior to D23 this weekend, but the same cannot be said for Jasmine and Genie. Naomi Scott has officially been cast as Princess Jasmine, while Will Smith will be taking on the Genie. Relative newcomer Mena Massoud has also joined the cast as Aladdin.

Man, I big budget movie that’ll have a wide release that has a brown man, a brown chick, and a black man as the three leads. Let’s pop the champagne for representa—oh wait, no, the movie’s still racist. Everything is racist.

While the prospect of having a person of color star in this film seems enticing, it really is not doing much for us. Aladdin strung together a few generalizations about North Africans, South East and South Asians, and blurred out our distinctions. The movie takes place in the fake city of Agrabah—combining together “Agra,” the historical city in northern India, with “Bah” to make it sound more Middle Eastern, I guess. The lack of specificity and care that went into the story is also the reason it doesn’t matter who the lead of this movie is, as long as he’s vaguely brown and maybe Muslim.

Exactly, that’s all little Arab, Middle Eastern, and Indian girls and boys will be thinking about when they go see this. The actual history of the Middle East and Central Asia instead cheering about all the sick ass carpet flips. If you need  movie to validate your existence, there might be some self-loathing involved there. Sorry you had to hear it this way.

  When we first heard about the casting for Disney’s live-action Aladdin, it was about how they couldn’t find actors to play Aladdin and Jasmine. They finally settled on a…

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Sharon Tate’s Sister Says Jennifer Lawrence Is Too Ugly To Play Sharon TateBy toddJuly 14, 2017
Sharon Tate’s Sister Says Jennifer Lawrence Is Too Ugly To Play Sharon Tate

 

It’s looking more likely that Margot Robbie will be playing Sharon Tate in Quentin Tarantino’s Manson movie, but that didn’t keep Sharon Tate’s sister, Debra Tate, to say what we’re all thinking. Also, LOL.

Margot Robbie has the chops and beauty to play Sharon Tate in a Quentin Tarantino movie about the Manson murders, but Jennifer Lawrence … not so much, at least according to Sharon’s sister. Debra Tate told us if the Sharon role comes down to Margot or Jennifer … Margot’s the clear choice … and it’s not ONLY because of looks. Sounds like an unkind cut, but Debra explained why she’s not taking a shot at J Law.

That’s such a Debra thing to say. You can watch the video of Debra here, or you can look at this picture of Sharon Tate and imagine Margot Robbie doing that until Jennifer Lawrence burns an X in head and kills her.

 

Sharon Tate

 

  It’s looking more likely that Margot Robbie will be playing Sharon Tate in Quentin Tarantino’s Manson movie, but that didn’t keep Sharon Tate’s sister, Debra Tate, to say what…

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‘Justice League’ Is Three Hours LongBy toddMarch 31, 2017
‘Justice League’ Is Three Hours Long

 

If you were worried you’d suffer in silence through a ridiculously long  Justice League  because Zack Snyder is out here thinking he’s Peter Jackson, sorry. Shit’s gonna be long.

IMDb has listed Justice League‘s runtime as 170 minutes or 2 hours 50 minutes. That’s a good 20 minutes longer than Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice‘s theatrical cut which came in at a little more than two-and-a-half hours.

Zack Snyder claims this is just the “first cut” and The Wrap seems pretty confident it’s not since their “individual with close knowledge of the project” told them, The Watchmen was 163 minutes and Batman vs Superman was 151 and they had to add 30 mins to the “Ultimate Cut” for the movie to kinda make sense. So yeah, Justice League probably won’t be 170 minutes. It’ll be like 165 minutes. 45 minutes of that will be Snyder’s usual slo mo bukkakke and 50 minutes will probably the theater blowing on the cartridge because the video game is skipping.

 

 

The cast (minus Gal Gadot) showed up at CinemaCon. They look like they each got a different dress code in their invites.

 

  If you were worried you’d suffer in silence through a ridiculously long  Justice League  because Zack Snyder is out here thinking he’s Peter Jackson, sorry. Shit’s gonna be long. IMDb has…

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Scarlett Johansson Did Another ‘Ghost In The Shell’ PremiereBy toddMarch 30, 2017
Scarlett Johansson Did Another ‘Ghost In The Shell’ Premiere

 

Scarlett Johansson is a far left liberal and far left liberals hate her now, but loved her back in January. Much like with their genders, the far left’s acceptance tends to be fluid (haha nailed it!).  She’s was in NYC last night promoting the movie white people in NYC will boycott, because they think will help solve racism or whatever they read on Slate. She wore this dress.

 

  Scarlett Johansson is a far left liberal and far left liberals hate her now, but loved her back in January. Much like with their genders, the far left’s acceptance…

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Chloe Grace Moretz Should’ve Stayed InsideBy toddMarch 30, 2017

If I just say Chloe Moretz from now on, you’ll know who I’m talking about right? I don’t have to keep typing Chloe Grace Moretz for you to know I’m talking about that super short lady with the weird head and kinda big ass? I have things to do. Like says she maybe should have stayed inside the gym until the cameras left, because damn. She also should think about staying inside until the sun goes down, because I can’t imagine a scenario where her skin and the sun get along.

If I just say Chloe Moretz from now on, you’ll know who I’m talking about right? I don’t have to keep typing Chloe Grace Moretz for you to know I’m…

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It’s A Nah For Me On That ‘IT’ TrailerBy toddMarch 30, 2017
It’s A Nah For Me On That ‘IT’ Trailer

 

A teaser trailer for IT dropped yesterday, and I’m not sure why it’s capitalized because it sound like a story about some dudes fixing your Internet. The new Pennywise is the dude from Hemlock Grove, so none of this seems particularly scary or whatever. Why they make his head so big? It also has the kid, Finn Wolfhard, from Stranger Things in it. “Finn Wolfard” is a badass name. The kid doesn’t seem to be. But clowns in the sewer or whatever? Yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg. I like sleeping at night. Be gone.

 

  A teaser trailer for IT dropped yesterday, and I’m not sure why it’s capitalized because it sound like a story about some dudes fixing your Internet. The new Pennywise…

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Alexandra Daddario Did GQ MexicoBy toddMarch 29, 2017
Alexandra Daddario Did GQ Mexico

 

Alexandra Daddario was my favorite thing about True Detective and she’s my favorite thing about whatever she’s in. I even sat through that dumbass Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.  She’s now my favorite thing about magazines published for a Mexican audience as in GQ Mexico. I don’t know any more.

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  Alexandra Daddario was my favorite thing about True Detective and she’s my favorite thing about whatever she’s in. I even sat through that dumbass Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.  She’s…

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