Every ‘Passengers’ Review: “lol nah”By toddDecember 16, 2016
Every ‘Passengers’ Review: “lol nah”



“Essentially amounts to a risable two-hour exhibit of sci-fi Stockholm Syndrome.”EW

 

Passengers currently has a 30% on Rotten Tomatoes. Was there really any doubt? Let’s read some of the greatest hits, shall we?

 

Variety:
“Passengers is the tale of a lonely guy in space, the drama of an ethical conundrum, a love story featuring two of the hottest actors on the planet, and a turbulent sci-fi action-adventure – and for all of that, it manages to be not a very good movie.”

 

IndieWire:
“Titanic” in space? No, but it’s certainly a disaster.

 

Time Out:
“Dreams up one of the most intriguing ‘what would you do?’ scenarios in recent movie memory and takes it precisely nowhere.”

 

Screen International:
“Part space romance, part space thriller and all space corn, Passengers is a messy and unconvincing mash-up that tries to get by on the not inconsiderable charm of stars Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt.”

 

I’m gonna keep saying this until somebody listens, but Jennifer Lawrence has been in two good movies. Two. Winter’s Bone and the one where Bradley Cooper was a stalker who used to be fat. And in those movies, if you would have replaced her with anyone else, they still would have been good movies. If you want to say Joy was a good movie, that’s cool, but please remember it was about a woman who invented a mop. Chris Pratt has been in one. Possibly two if you count the new Guardians Of The Galaxy. In his last movie, he played a dude who could kinda talk to velociraptors. Let’s not confuse what these people bring to a movie. Columbia spent $120M to make a “romantic science fiction thriller” which turned out to be neither of those things and thought if you stuck Jennifer Lawrence’s and Chris Pratt’s faces on the poster they’d get that money back. Shoulda used some of that money to pay a screenwriter. Live and learn!

 

 

 

“Essentially amounts to a risable two-hour exhibit of sci-fi Stockholm Syndrome.” – EW   Passengers currently has a 30% on Rotten Tomatoes. Was there really any doubt? Let’s read some…

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Ryan Reynolds Is A StarBy toddDecember 16, 2016
Ryan Reynolds Is A Star

 

It was only five months ago that Ryan Reynolds was praying for the sweet release of death at Taylor Swift’s 4th of July party, but now he has a Golden Globe nomination and a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. He also still has a hot ass wife. I think Blake Lively just had a baby, but go look in the mirror. Her mom bod looks better than your regular bod. I’m not making this up. Seriously, go look.

 

  It was only five months ago that Ryan Reynolds was praying for the sweet release of death at Taylor Swift’s 4th of July party, but now he has a…

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Ciara And Cartoon Unicorns Are Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent CalendarBy toddDecember 15, 2016
Ciara And Cartoon Unicorns Are Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

I’m pretty sure Ciara is some type of singer. She’s also today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. The good thing about this is that she’s married to Russell Wilson now, so he doesn’t have to wait until God goes to sleep later to jack off to this. He can do it anytime he wants! That’s great. As for the concept of this? Your guess is as good as mine.

 

  I’m pretty sure Ciara is some type of singer. She’s also today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. The good thing about this is that she’s married to Russell Wilson now,…

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Christine Teigen And Her Legs Went For A Walk, LinksBy toddAugust 20, 2013

Lady Gaga Fans Want To Kill Perez Hilton [Fishwrapper]

Lady Gaga's White Panties Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Justin Bieber’s Still Trying To Be Michael Jackson [The Superficial]

Olivia Wilde Puts On A Stunningly Sexy Show In NYC [Popoholic]

Hilary Duff’s Booty Is Useful [Hollywood Tuna]

Bo Obama’s Got A New Little Sister [Dlisted]

Alessandra Ambrosio is on vacation (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

Amber Heard's Paranoia was a bust at the box office [Lainey Gossip]

Benedict Cumberbatch wants us to focus on Egypt instead of his Sherlock curls [Celebitchy]

Danica Patrick Shows Her Patriotic Tramp Stamp [Moe Jackson]

JJ Abrams and his Bad Robot production company recently released this mysterious teaser [Film Drunk]

Olivia Munn on a homemade swing? What could possibly go wrong? [Celebslam]

The 35 Best Photos From 2013 Seattle Hempfest [COED Magazine]

Ryan Dempster Hits Alex Rodriguez Because Everyone Hates Him [The Blemish]

Meet Robert Pattinson: Unsuccessful Model [Evil Beet Gossip]

Wisconsin High School Defies Order to Stop Using Indians Name [Crave Online]

Chris Brown cancels Canadian concerts [Popbytes]

Get Revenge [MyEx]

Lady Gaga Fans Want To Kill Perez Hilton [Fishwrapper] Lady Gaga's White Panties Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie] Justin Bieber’s Still Trying To Be Michael Jackson [The Superficial] Olivia…

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Anastasia Ashley Has An InstagramBy toddAugust 19, 2013

After her twerking video, Anastasia Ashley now has my favorite ass on the planet, so thankfully I just discovered her AsstagramInstagram where she documents my favorite ass. It's nice where there is a place where I can check in to see how it's doing. Hey, it's on surfboard. Hey, look. It's on a bridge. Awww, now it's standing on the beach. We've become so close over this short period of time that I feel like we're friends. Soon to be lovers? Who knows for sure. You can't rush matters of the heart.

 

Source = Instagram

After her twerking video, Anastasia Ashley now has my favorite ass on the planet, so thankfully I just discovered her AsstagramInstagram where she documents my favorite ass. It's nice where…

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Seth MacFarlane Is Banging ThisBy toddAugust 16, 2013

Now that he's done sexing up Khaleesi, Seth MacFarlane is now dating Ryan Phillippe's baby mama and the dumb chick in Pitch Perfect with the massive rack, Alexis Knapp. Damn, homey. I should really write wedding announcements. E! Online reports:

"It's been going on for a little while. It's very casual but they are hanging out and he is having fun with her," a source exclusively tells E! News about the couple's burgeoning romance. "They've know each other for three years and have been getting closer for over a year," but they've only recently started seeing each other more frequently, the source says. "They always had good chemistry." "Alexis' star is on the rise," adds the insider. "He thinks she's really talented."

The bold part in the blockquote is basically all you need to know about what's going on here, because if a publicist can't even lie about it then MacFarlane is just seeing her naked a few times a week and telling her to be patient. Because he really wants a relationship, but his heart is just too fragile right now. He feels like he can be himself around her and would you like some more wine? Your hair looks very pretty like that did you know that? It really brings out your eyes. You know, then they hump.

 

Now that he's done sexing up Khaleesi, Seth MacFarlane is now dating Ryan Phillippe's baby mama and the dumb chick in Pitch Perfect with the massive rack, Alexis Knapp. Damn,…

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