Every ‘Passengers’ Review: “lol nah”By toddDecember 16, 2016
Every ‘Passengers’ Review: “lol nah”



“Essentially amounts to a risable two-hour exhibit of sci-fi Stockholm Syndrome.”EW

 

Passengers currently has a 30% on Rotten Tomatoes. Was there really any doubt? Let’s read some of the greatest hits, shall we?

 

Variety:
“Passengers is the tale of a lonely guy in space, the drama of an ethical conundrum, a love story featuring two of the hottest actors on the planet, and a turbulent sci-fi action-adventure – and for all of that, it manages to be not a very good movie.”

 

IndieWire:
“Titanic” in space? No, but it’s certainly a disaster.

 

Time Out:
“Dreams up one of the most intriguing ‘what would you do?’ scenarios in recent movie memory and takes it precisely nowhere.”

 

Screen International:
“Part space romance, part space thriller and all space corn, Passengers is a messy and unconvincing mash-up that tries to get by on the not inconsiderable charm of stars Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt.”

 

I’m gonna keep saying this until somebody listens, but Jennifer Lawrence has been in two good movies. Two. Winter’s Bone and the one where Bradley Cooper was a stalker who used to be fat. And in those movies, if you would have replaced her with anyone else, they still would have been good movies. If you want to say Joy was a good movie, that’s cool, but please remember it was about a woman who invented a mop. Chris Pratt has been in one. Possibly two if you count the new Guardians Of The Galaxy. In his last movie, he played a dude who could kinda talk to velociraptors. Let’s not confuse what these people bring to a movie. Columbia spent $120M to make a “romantic science fiction thriller” which turned out to be neither of those things and thought if you stuck Jennifer Lawrence’s and Chris Pratt’s faces on the poster they’d get that money back. Shoulda used some of that money to pay a screenwriter. Live and learn!

 

 

 

“Essentially amounts to a risable two-hour exhibit of sci-fi Stockholm Syndrome.” – EW   Passengers currently has a 30% on Rotten Tomatoes. Was there really any doubt? Let’s read some…

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Ryan Reynolds Is A StarBy toddDecember 16, 2016
Ryan Reynolds Is A Star

 

It was only five months ago that Ryan Reynolds was praying for the sweet release of death at Taylor Swift’s 4th of July party, but now he has a Golden Globe nomination and a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. He also still has a hot ass wife. I think Blake Lively just had a baby, but go look in the mirror. Her mom bod looks better than your regular bod. I’m not making this up. Seriously, go look.

 

  It was only five months ago that Ryan Reynolds was praying for the sweet release of death at Taylor Swift’s 4th of July party, but now he has a…

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Ciara And Cartoon Unicorns Are Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent CalendarBy toddDecember 15, 2016
Ciara And Cartoon Unicorns Are Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

I’m pretty sure Ciara is some type of singer. She’s also today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. The good thing about this is that she’s married to Russell Wilson now, so he doesn’t have to wait until God goes to sleep later to jack off to this. He can do it anytime he wants! That’s great. As for the concept of this? Your guess is as good as mine.

 

  I’m pretty sure Ciara is some type of singer. She’s also today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar. The good thing about this is that she’s married to Russell Wilson now,…

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