Rapist Angel LinksBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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David Boreanaz is very romantic in the “sexual harrasment” sense [The Superficial]
Ali Larter has pregnant boobs [Popoholic]
Tila Tequila‘s panties are a biohazard [TaxiDriver Movie]
The Situation‘s awkward turtleneck family photo [Dlisted]
10 biggest potheads in baseball [COED Magazine]
Lindsay’s new jail neighbor [Celebslam]
Cameron Diaz launches a preemptive strike against being alone forever [Popeater]
I really need to get Amber Lancaster pregnant [Egotastic]
Duelling Stallones [Cityrag]
Evolution of a Wow player [College Humor]

David Boreanaz is very romantic in the “sexual harrasment” sense [The Superficial] Ali Larter has pregnant boobs [Popoholic] Tila Tequila‘s panties are a biohazard [TaxiDriver Movie] The Situation‘s awkward turtleneck…

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The Lohans Are Great PeopleBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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For the second time this week, a member of the Lohan family was arrested and booked for a crime. Awesome! People reports:

Michael, 50, will be arraigned next month for second-degree harassment after his fiancée Kate Major alleged he shoved and kicked her. Michael has denied the allegations.

Hopefully when these two get out they can sell heroin in a school zone or call 911 to report their plutonium was stolen. You know, to fully drive the point home that they may not be the best at making life decisions.

Note: Christ, gossip sucks today. So to help out, here are some pics for you to choose from: Rosie Jones topless or a pink pony. Enjoy!

For the second time this week, a member of the Lohan family was arrested and booked for a crime. Awesome! People reports: Michael, 50, will be arraigned next month for…

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Maybe I Should Get A MotorcycleBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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Kelly Brook and her comic book warrior princess body are in the August issue of Maxim, and as you can see, she’s on the back of a motorcycle topless. Whatever. Is the motorcyle supposed to be sexy? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see a basket or a bell on it. Or my grandma pushing it down the street until I’m pedaling on my own. Huh?! Does it?!

Kelly Brook and her comic book warrior princess body are in the August issue of Maxim, and as you can see, she’s on the back of a motorcycle topless. Whatever….

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Lindsay’s Daily Jail ScheduleBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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L.A.’s Century Regional Detention Facility, the one hissing and bursting into flames at the sight of the sun before noon would be Lindsay. Star Magazine reports:

5 a.m.: Lindsay’s in for a rude awakening! Every morning she will be roused from her sleep by a P.A. announcement before guards shout commands like “Line up for chow! Make your bed! Tuck your shirts in!”

6 a.m.: Time to eat! Lindsay will have 20 minutes to scarf down a quick breakfast like bread and butter or cereal with milk.

9:15 a.m.: The star can see her lawyers any day, starting in the morning.

10:30 a.m.: Lunch usually means something simple, like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a piece of fruit.

2:30 p.m.: During free time, if Lindsay wants some exercise or sun, she may get an hour outside — surrounded by cement walls and barbed wire, of course.

5:30 p.m.: Dinner time! No more pricey sushi for the actress. She can now look forward to dishes like spaghetti with meat sauce, followed by something sweet, like Jell-O, for dessert.

6:30 p.m.: She can visit with approved loved ones on Saturdays and Sundays only.

9 p.m.: Lights out!

Does this make anyone else squeal in delight? I haven’t been this happy since my Rainbow Brite backpack came in the mail. It’s both a toy and a backpack! Rainbow Brite’s back zips open to carry your items and features two rainbow straps to wear on your back! Plus, she’s an adorable plush doll!

L.A.’s Century Regional Detention Facility, the one hissing and bursting into flames at the sight of the sun before noon would be Lindsay. Star Magazine reports: 5 a.m.: Lindsay’s in…

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“I Deserve To Be Blown First!”By toddJuly 14, 2010

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Mel Gibson should probably shoot a wounded soldier in the face or drown a baby to get better press, because today a fourth audio clip has been released. This time, Gibson threatens to burn down the house if he doesn’t get a blowjob. That sounds pretty reasonable.

Raging and panting, Gibson tears into then-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, berating her for apparently falling asleep the night before without giving him sex. And it isn’t long until he threatens her with physical violence, telling her he’ll burn down the house, but first she WILL give him oral sex. Gibson screams: “I should’ve woken you up and said f*cking blow me bitch! I should’ve f*ckin’ woken you up and said blow me! You would’ve liked that better, yeah? But you need the goddamn sleep!” Oksana protests that she waited for him the night, before but fell asleep, and that sends Mel into a new rage. “Waited and waited,” Mel bellows. “What, two and a half f*cking minutes!? You’re f*cking snoring. Don’t you dare.” “I deserve to be blown first! Before the f*cking Jacuzzi! Ok, I’ll burn the goddamn house up, but blow me first! How dare you!??!”

So you’d think Oksana Grigorieva would treat the telephone like an Amish person treats an iPad by now, but no. She still answers. And she’s getting death threats. From other people.

TMZ has learned Oksana Grigorieva received threatening phone calls Tuesday that “scared her to death.” Sources tell TMZ at least one of the calls “could be interpreted as a death threat.” We’re told there were multiple calls and at least two appeared to be from the same caller. We’re told the callers were angry about her accusations against Mel Gibson.

Christ. I have an idea, take your phone and throw it off a cliff. You’d think this chick would have learned by now. I don’t know what she looks like when the phone rings, buy I imagine a Vietnam vet in a room full of fireworks.

Top 25 Most Played on Mel Gibson’s iTunes. #1:

Mel Gibson should probably shoot a wounded soldier in the face or drown a baby to get better press, because today a fourth audio clip has been released. This time,…

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Really?By toddJuly 14, 2010

I have no idea how many people at Bongo went to actual marketing school, but they have decided to make Audrina Patridge their face. Audrina Patridge. Was a jack-o-lantern not available? Because I wouldn’t make this chick the face of a pirate ship. Don’t get me wrong, the body is sick, but the face looks like a backup singer for the band booked to play the Hogwarts commencement.

I have no idea how many people at Bongo went to actual marketing school, but they have decided to make Audrina Patridge their face. Audrina Patridge. Was a jack-o-lantern not…

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