Emily Ratajkowski Is For Regret DayBy toddNovember 24, 2017
Emily Ratajkowski Is For Regret Day

 

Hey, friends. I hope everyone had a chill Thanksgiving and didn’t ruin everybody’s time by talking politics like some kind of idiot with a printed off topic list you found on Twitter. Nobody wanted to hear how you’ve been radicalized. America is pretty racist. Telling your racist uncle that won’t change that. Shut up and eat. I’m still in sweatpants as I write this, and probably won’t be able to eat food again until Tuesday, but I’ll make exceptions depending on what you mean by “eat”. Enter Emily Ratajkowski. She spent Thanksgiving on some kind of island in a bikini and took a lot of pictures like she usually does. But yes, going back to what I was saying about eating I would put the gravy I have in the tupperware on this.

 

A post shared by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

  Hey, friends. I hope everyone had a chill Thanksgiving and didn’t ruin everybody’s time by talking politics like some kind of idiot with a printed off topic list you…

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Rihanna Did Crop Over AgainBy toddAugust 08, 2017
Rihanna Did Crop Over Again

 

It’s that time of year again, Rihanna is at Crop Over. Crop Over is something they do in Barbados that we only know about because Rihanna goes every year and dresses like this. If elected, I will make this a national holiday. Rihanna looks so hot here even Chris Brown commented. He also nearly beat her to death because she asked who he was texting one time. Not sure why he’s allowed to comment. Maybe she should try blocking him at least once.

 

the @aura_experience caught by @dennisleupold #BARBADOS #cropover2017 #culture

A post shared by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

 

We serve a gracious god:

  It’s that time of year again, Rihanna is at Crop Over. Crop Over is something they do in Barbados that we only know about because Rihanna goes every year…

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Aaron Carter Is Bisexual, SingleBy toddAugust 07, 2017
Aaron Carter Is Bisexual, Single

 

So, Aaron Carter came out as bisexual on Twitter this weekend. Then his girlfriend broke up with him the next day. I guess she’s homophobic or biphobic or whatever new term that’s dropped on Tumblr that I don’t know about yet.

Aaron Carter and his girlfriend, Madison Parker, have split, Us Weekly can confirm. A source close to the couple tells Us that the pair, who began dating at the end of last year, have gone their separate ways. “The split was very amicable,” the source says. “Aaron is continuing to focus on his personal self with regards to his truth, health and music.”

I assume Aaron Carter still wants to bang Hilary Duff, because who wouldn’t want to bang this piece of ass and inferiority complex disguised as empowerment?

 

 

But good for Aaron. Live your truth, buddy. In 2017, probably the best way for people to forget you’re a horrible person is to come out as gay/bisexual or become a woman. It worked for Caitlyn Jenner for like three weeks. She even got a Vanity Fair cover and got to kill someone.

  So, Aaron Carter came out as bisexual on Twitter this weekend. Then his girlfriend broke up with him the next day. I guess she’s homophobic or biphobic or whatever new…

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Elon Musk Dumped Amber HeardBy toddAugust 07, 2017
Elon Musk Dumped Amber Heard



Amber Heard wanted $50K a month from Johnny Depp, but started dating Elon Musk who is worth $12B. That come up was short lived, because Musk dumped her last week.

Heard, 31, is ‘devastated’ after tech tycoon Elon Musk ended their year-long romance. Last night a source told The Mail on Sunday: ‘It’s all over between Amber and Elon and she’s devastated. It was his decision. ‘He ended it a week ago. He’d heard certain things about her behaviour that didn’t sit well with him.  ‘Amber can be very manipulative and selfish. Elon’s back in LA while she’s licking her wounds in Australia.’

Two thing you can believe at the same time: 1.) Johnny Depp abused Amber Heard 2.) Amber Heard is a manipulative asshole. You can believe those to things remembering how their divorce went down. And that’s ok. Maybe that’s her thing. She’s a hot blonde and I assume hot blondes think that will work for them. But for unfortunately for Amber, she has to cancel her plan to be the first person to spend money on Mars. She’ll just have to be okay with being in Justice League, which from what I’ve heard, already has a 23% on Rotten Tomatoes.



Amber Heard wanted $50K a month from Johnny Depp, but started dating Elon Musk who is worth $12B. That come up was short lived, because Musk dumped her last week….

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Chris Pratt Is SingleBy toddAugust 07, 2017
Chris Pratt Is Single

 

Chris Pratt announced on Facebook that he and Anna Faris are separating after eight years of marriage. Pratt was so broken up about it, his announcement took three sentences.

 

Anna and I are sad to announce we are legally separating. We tried hard for a long time, and we’re really disappointed. …

Posted by Chris Pratt on Sunday, August 6, 2017

 

This actually took longer than I had initially expected. I thought this was gonna come after Jurassic World to be honest. In 2009, Chris Pratt was fat gay playing a dumbass on a TV show. In 2017, he’s a ripped international movie star with a star on Hollywood Walk Of Fame. You can’t really wake up to Anna Faris every morning after that. That’s just basic man science.

 

  Chris Pratt announced on Facebook that he and Anna Faris are separating after eight years of marriage. Pratt was so broken up about it, his announcement took three sentences….

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Kate Upton Did “Lip Sync Battle”By toddApril 20, 2017
Kate Upton Did “Lip Sync Battle”

 

Kate Upton is in the stage of career where she tries to avoid calls from Dancing With The Stars, but tests the market for her eventual run by appearing on Spike’s Lip Sync Battle.  She did Britney Spears’ Baby One More Time, because they had to put her in a schoolgirl outfit for the obvious reasons. It’s not like they were gonna invite Kate Upton on and have her lip sync Adele. That wouldn’t make  good promo ad.

 

 

Here’s something called the LSB Preshow where Kate sounds out of breath. Not sure if this was before or after.

 

 

I don’t even know why Kate Upton dances anymore when the greatest dance video of all time is readily available on the Internet. Why even does this to us?

 

  Kate Upton is in the stage of career where she tries to avoid calls from Dancing With The Stars, but tests the market for her eventual run by appearing…

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James Franco Might Have Head-Butted Some Dude Over Lana Del ReyBy toddOctober 19, 2016
James Franco Might Have Head-Butted Some Dude Over Lana Del Rey

 

A photographer is suing James Franco because in 2014 he was at a Lana Del Rey concert, and if I’m reading this right, James Franco was high as shit on something.

David Tonnessen says he was snapping photos of Lana at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in 2014 when Franco, unprovoked, viciously charged and head-butted him in the stomach. According to the docs … Franco was “smiling, rather demonically” when Tonnessen first spotted him, and then — with a “blank expression of joy on his face” … knocked him to the ground. Tonnessen says he was hospitalized and suffered permanent injuries. He’s suing for medical expenses and other damages. We’ve reached out to Franco, so far no word back.

I have no idea where this story is gonna go, but here’s some pics of Lana Del Rey in 2014. Doesn’t seem worth it.

 

  A photographer is suing James Franco because in 2014 he was at a Lana Del Rey concert, and if I’m reading this right, James Franco was high as shit…

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Amber Rose Perfectly Summed Up The Donald Trump Sex StuffBy toddOctober 18, 2016
Amber Rose Perfectly Summed Up The Donald Trump Sex Stuff

 

If you don’t really want to hear what Amber Rose has to say, it’s easy to write her off as a “slut” or “stripper” to keep your fear of women who won’t allow themselves to be subjugated at bay, but when she has an opinion on an issue, it’s pretty much fucking spot on. She also killed Kanye with a single tweet and sent Khloe Kardashian into the ether. Respect. On Friday, during her Loveline with Amber Rose podcast, Rose gave her opinion on the latest Donald Trump mess.

“This is definitely not me sticking up for Donald Trump at all, [but] I do feel like, based on his age, where he came from, the fact that he grew up with a lot of money and a lot of entitlement, that’s probably all he knows. White, privileged, older, f–king rich as f–k,”..“‘I can touch anybody’s p—y I want, I’m Donald Trump. Who the hell is ever going to say no?’”

If you have any critical thinking skills at all, it just takes one time listening to Donald Trump responding to these allegations to understand that this is 100% how he feels. He’s more annoyed that his supporters might not think the women are hot. You know who does that? Narcissists who get caught on hot mics saying they grab pussy whenever they want, then saying the dozen who claimed he did just that are liars.

Then Amber Rose said this. This right here.

“I feel like if Donald Trump — if I was just a regular girl, before I became an activist — came and touched my vagina, I would be scared to tell someone. I would be terrified. I would be like, ‘Donald Trump literally just touched my vagina. Who the f–k do I call? Do I call 9-1-1? Do I call the cop that lives in my neighborhood? Who do I contact? Do I get online and put it on Twitter?”…How do I go about it [so] people literally wouldn’t say, ‘You’re f–king lying. Donald Trump is a millionaire. He doesn’t have to touch your vagina without consent. He could literally f–k whoever he wants’?”

If you don’t understand that last blockquote and how it pertains to victims of sexual assault by powerful men, then either you wish you could grab pussy without recourse or you just hate Hillary too much to understand. Or it it could just be a big media conspiracy to make Trump say these things. You never know!

 

  If you don’t really want to hear what Amber Rose has to say, it’s easy to write her off as a “slut” or “stripper” to keep your fear of women…

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‘The Accountant’ UK Premiere Was Last Night, Anna Kendrick Seems ThrilledBy toddOctober 18, 2016
‘The Accountant’ UK Premiere Was Last Night, Anna Kendrick Seems Thrilled

 

From what I can tell, The Accountant is about a slick hitman with autism who shoots bad guys instead of elementary school children with a gun his mom bought. Part of this movie filmed right outside my friend’s apartment in Buckhead, and you could legit look out the window and see Ben Affleck. The didn’t even make me want to go to Buckhead. Cool story, Todd. Anyway, the UK premiere was last night, and I still can’t figure out if Anna Kendrick is supposed to be attractive or not. Her face kinda looks like a witch mask. The boobs don’t, so this what might be causing the confusion on my end.

 

  From what I can tell, The Accountant is about a slick hitman with autism who shoots bad guys instead of elementary school children with a gun his mom bought. Part of…

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Trump Fans Booed And Walked Out Of An Amy Schumer ShowBy toddOctober 17, 2016
Trump Fans Booed And Walked Out Of An Amy Schumer Show

 

Just so this makes sense, Amy Schumer‘s comedy show was in Florida.

About 200 people walked out of Amy Schumer’s comedy show at the Amalie Arena in Tampa Sunday when she mocked Donald Trump as, among other things, an “orange, sexual-assaulting, fake- college-starting monster.” Loud booing from a vocal, but small minority of the arena crowd started about halfway through the show, when Schumer’s raunchy humor veered into more topical matters topics, including gun control and the presidential election…She made it clear she doesn’t understand how people can support Trump. At one point, she asked for a Trump supporter – preferably one with sleeves, she told security personnel – to join her up on stage to explain their enthusiasm for Trump. One fellow did, but he said he was voting for Trump mainly because he doesn’t trust Clinton. When some audience members booed, the actor/comedian invited them to leave and also asked security to remove anyone booing.

Just like their Supreme Leader, when faced with even the slightest bit of criticism, Trump stans have an unhinged meltdown, but also, Amy Schumer is a horrible person. I’m voting third party on this one. Nope. Still not Gary Johnson. Dude needs to just eat the other half of his brownie and go to sleep.

 

UPDATE: The video was removed from YouTube. It’s a global conspiracy and the media is trying to rig the election or something.

 

  Just so this makes sense, Amy Schumer‘s comedy show was in Florida. About 200 people walked out of Amy Schumer’s comedy show at the Amalie Arena in Tampa Sunday…

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