Taylor Swift Can’t Help HerselfBy toddMay 24, 2017
Taylor Swift Can’t Help Herself

 

Earlier this month, we learned that Taylor Swift has been secretly dating Joe Alwyn. Joe Alwyn is a 26-year old British actor who still lives with his parents. Joe sounds like a millennial icon Stop me if you’ve heard this before:

A source said: “Taylor and Joe are the real deal, this is a very serious relationship.”

Apparently we know this because The Sun “leaked” it.  We also know that the only person who has ever managed to pull off leaking something on Taylor Swift without an instructional Power Point presentation from her PR and legal team is Kim Kardashian. After this news “leaked”, this was the followup:

We’re told she’s obviously a little “bummed” that the news of her relationship got out. However, the insider said, “At the same time, she is really excited about being with Joe and is hoping she can relax a little bit more now and just enjoy being with him.”

lol k. Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston broke up in September. Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn started dating in October. Taylor couldn’t wait to get this shit out. She would have posted a pic on Instagram of Joe putting costume on her cat last Halloween if she could have. She had to stab herself in the thigh with her keys every time they wore matching outfits and she opened her front camera or this narrative would’ve been destroyed.

“Taylor has been insanely private about her relationship with Joe,” a source tells PEOPLE exclusively about the couple, who have been dating for several months. “She wanted to get to know him without any chaos. She has learned from the past.” Jetting in under the radar and reportedly renting a house in North London, Swift is determined to keep her relationship out of the spotlight — and so is Alwyn.

Yet here we all are reading about it. And the whole “- and so is Alwyn” is super cute like he has any fucking say in this at all. Her PR team probably put a black hood on him, threw him in a van, and has doing red carpet prep right now.  We all know how this is gonna end. Joe isn’t gonna text back one day within the timeframe stipulated in his signed agreement and Taylor will break up with him (and we’ll know about it the next day via her PR team), then 6 months later she’ll have a new album called, Songs With Thinly Veiled References to Joe Alwyn, since she has to go through men like tampons and still play the victim. Pretty sure this is some sort of preexisting condition.

 

  Earlier this month, we learned that Taylor Swift has been secretly dating Joe Alwyn. Joe Alwyn is a 26-year old British actor who still lives with his parents. Joe…

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The Entourage Movie Is CursedBy toddMarch 26, 2014

This is how I choose to read this. People reports:

Last time anybody will tell this actor to break a leg. While filming the Entourage movie, Kevin Connolly suffered that very fate while shooting a football scene with Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson. "Pain management advice from a Super Bowl champ!!! #brokenleg" the actor Tweeted along with a picture of himself and the football pro on March 21. But it looks as if Connelly has some serious skills when it comes to the sport. "This actually was during a take and my man @mrkevinconnolly came down with the ball!" Tweeted director Doug Ellin.

I could say my only regret is that Kevin Connolly didn't break both of legs, but that would make me sound like a dick. But good thing Connolly was on set with Russell Wilson. Because Russell Wilson is an N.C. State alum. And they just gradually kinda get used to being .500.

This is how I choose to read this. People reports: Last time anybody will tell this actor to break a leg. While filming the Entourage movie, Kevin Connolly suffered that…

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Gwyneth Paltrow Is SingleBy toddMarch 26, 2014
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Single

 

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have split for good apparently. Here's Gwyneth's official statement on Goop.

Conscious Uncoupling

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love,
Gwyneth & Chris

It's sad when two people with that much history together split up, but I'm surprised that Chris Martin made it this long. I mean, we all know his wife. She was probably asking him to read her haiku about dolphin cord blood omelets and he finally brain hemorrhaged. He might be dead right now. We don't know. Nobody knows what Goop is capabale of. They operate outside the law in Obama's America. Open your eyes to the truth. You can't afford to be this naive.

  Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have split for good apparently. Here's Gwyneth's official statement on Goop. Conscious Uncoupling It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided…

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Emily Sears Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddMarch 26, 2014
Emily Sears Says Good Morning, Links

 

Naomi Campbell gives no damns [Dlisted]

Taylor Swift is classy [Fishwrapper]

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley needs a bra (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Kristn Bell's butt in a bikini [The Superficial]

Nice pair [Hollywood Tuna]

Miranda Kerr gets sexy for Reebok [Popoholic]

Heidi Klum in a bikini [Drunken Stepfather]

Riff Raff banged Katy Perry [TMZ]

 Olivia Wilde's baby has a mustache [The Frisky]

I'm glad she didn't  [Celebitchy]

January Jones looks good in anything [Moe Jackson]

Bradley Cooper is the next Indiana Jones [Film Drunk]

Sara Sampaio. That is all [Celebslam]

12 interesting facts about Bill Murray's films you might not know [The Chive]

Porn, Dan [The Blemish]

 

pic source = Instagram

  Naomi Campbell gives no damns [Dlisted] Taylor Swift is classy [Fishwrapper] Rosie Huntington-Whiteley needs a bra (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie] Kristn Bell's butt in a bikini [The Superficial]…

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Stacy Keibler Is Already PregnantBy toddMarch 25, 2014

BREAKING: Stacy Keibler is not fucking around. People reports:

There’s more cause for celebration for newlyweds Stacy Keibler and Jared Pobre: they’re expecting a baby this summer, Keibler’s reps confirm to PEOPLE. “More blessings!! We’re an elated family-to-be!” the couple tells PEOPLE of their happy news. Keibler, 34, and Pobre, who married on a beach in Punta Mita, Mexico on March 8, are over the moon about becoming parents. “I’m extremely excited about starting a family and building a future with Stacy,” says Pobre, 39, CEO of Future Ads, a private interactive firm. Keibler shared the happy news on social media Monday. “Look what we’ve got cooking! A Bun’dle of love!” she wrote along with a photo of her baking bun.

Hey, remember when Stacy Keibler was dating George Clooney and all she really did for a while was show up at red carpet events and smile as she was getting strung along until she made the mistake of thinking the relationship was more than it was then got dumped? Stacy Keibler has already married and got pregnant by her very next boyfriend. I don't have time to sit here and psychoanalyze this, but feel free to draw your own conclusions.

BREAKING: Stacy Keibler is not fucking around. People reports: There’s more cause for celebration for newlyweds Stacy Keibler and Jared Pobre: they’re expecting a baby this summer, Keibler’s reps confirm…

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This Isn’t Creepy At AllBy toddMarch 25, 2014

 

Katy Perry's wax figure was revealed at Madame Tussauds in Berlin yesterday, and it's hard to say if this looks realistic or not, because this Katy and wax Katy Perry kinda look the same. So I guess it does look realistic? Let's table this decision until we see if John Mayer tries to have sex with it.

  Katy Perry's wax figure was revealed at Madame Tussauds in Berlin yesterday, and it's hard to say if this looks realistic or not, because this Katy and wax Katy…

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Judge Joe Brown Appears DispleasedBy toddMarch 25, 2014
Judge Joe Brown Appears Displeased

 

Judge Joe Brown was arrested and sentenced to five days in jail for contempt of court in Tennessee yesterday because he lost his shit during a child support case, and this is his mugshot. It's been less than 24 hours since this happened. If the world hasn't made this as an emoji yet, I'll be very

  Judge Joe Brown was arrested and sentenced to five days in jail for contempt of court in Tennessee yesterday because he lost his shit during a child support case,…
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Brittney Palmer Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddMarch 25, 2014
Brittney Palmer Says Good Morning, Links

 

Nick Cannon is in white face. [Dlisted]

Madonna is getting more awkward [Fishwrapper] Anne Hathaway is cold (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Jessica Simpson's legs. Christ. [The Superficial]

Tara Mackey is in lingerie [Hollywood Tuna]

Brittney Palmer in Fitness Gurls [Popoholic]

Emma Roberts is in a bikini [Drunken Stepfather]

A dude on Scandal got into a bar fight [TMZ]

Spice Girls are going on back on tour [The Frisky]

Miley Cyrus spits water on people [Celebitchy]

Shailene Woodley's high school yearbook photo is adorable [Moe Jackson]

Adam Scott is great [Film Drunk]

Alessandra Ambrosio is great at Pilates [Celebslam]

50 behind the scenes pics of classic movies [The Chive]

Lady Gaga's video happened [The Blemish]

 

pic source = Instagram

  Nick Cannon is in white face. [Dlisted] Madonna is getting more awkward [Fishwrapper] Anne Hathaway is cold (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie] Jessica Simpson's legs. Christ. [The Superficial] Tara…

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Mila Kunis Is PregnantBy toddMarch 24, 2014
Mila Kunis Is Pregnant

 

Not sure why, but Kelso knocking up Jackie makes me happy. E! News reports:

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are engaged and going to be parents! Kunis is pregnant with the couple's first child, a source confirms exclusively to E! News just weeks after being first to report that the former That '70s Show co-stars were planning to tie the knot.

I really don't know what else to say here. I mean, I'd get Mila Kunis pregnant and want as many people as possible to know about too. Ashton Kutcher should delete his entire Wikipedia and just write, "I got Mila Kunis pregnant. I also do some acting stuff. Hit me up on Netflix."

  Not sure why, but Kelso knocking up Jackie makes me happy. E! News reports: Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are engaged and going to be parents! Kunis is pregnant with…

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Jennifer Lawrence Voted Most Desirable Woman Of 2013By toddDecember 12, 2012



Jennifer Lawrence was voted AskMen‘s Most Desirable Woman of 2013 with Mila Kunis, Kate Upton, Rihanna, and Emma Stone rounding out the top 5. Oh, and by the way, remember when Kim Kardashian was #8 last year? She fell 90 spots to #98 this year. So if there are any fair virgins in and around the Calabasas area, AVOID Kris Jenner. She’s coming for your blood. YOUR BLOOD, I SAY!

In 2012, sultry 22-year-old actress Jennifer Lawrence achieved wide recognition by playing heroine Katniss Everdeen in the highly anticipated film adaptation of The Hunger Games. Based on her performance in the film, Rolling Stone named her “the most talented young actress in America.” Now that’s some high praise. But Jennifer’s real breakout role was playing Ree in 2010’s Winter’s Bone for which she was nominated for an Oscar. This past September, Lawrence reprised her role as Katniss as production began on The Hunger Games sequel. In 2012 Jennifer also starred alongside Elisabeth Shue in House at the End of the Street and with Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook.

Women everywhere (especially on the Internet), think lists like these perpetuate the belief that a woman’s worth is based solely on how she looks in a bikini and how many guys want to fuck her, when in reality it’s solely based on her cup size-to- waist ratio and how often she sits in complete silence making you another drink. I only bring this up, because the 2013 list is now being heralded by women because it apparently shows that a “normal woman” can be considered most desirable. So, just to clear this up, Jennifer Lawrence is only not normal in Hollywood or in magazines. She’s hot as fuck in real life. If she worked at your job, you’d be talking shit about her and not allowing her around your boyfriend. Because, you know, bitches be crazy. Hope that clears everything up, ladies!

Jennifer Lawrence was voted AskMen‘s Most Desirable Woman of 2013 with Mila Kunis, Kate Upton, Rihanna, and Emma Stone rounding out the top 5. Oh, and by the way, remember…

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