Amber Rose Has A Nice InstagramBy toddJanuary 19, 2015

The Internet lost it’s shit this weekend when Amber Rose posted these pics on Instagram, and although I appreciate her comic book proportions, my penis is really small and I’d lose precious inches trying to hit this from the back. Can we maybe go get ice cream instead, Amber? Maybe go for a walk and talk? Did you know that the rain on Venus contains high levels of sulfuric acid? Oh, I know, right? Pretty interesting stuff.

The Internet lost it’s shit this weekend when Amber Rose posted these pics on Instagram, and although I appreciate her comic book proportions, my penis is really small and I’d…

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Katherine Webb Has 31 Knives On Her Wedding RegistryBy toddJune 20, 2014
Katherine Webb Has 31 Knives On Her Wedding Registry

 

AJ McCarron dropped to the 5th round in the NFL draft because he was a douche in interviews and it turned out none of his teammates actually liked him, so now he's backing up a ginger in Cincinnati. On the other hand, he's marrying Katherine Webb because they're both good Christian folk who need 31 knives for some reason. That's weird, right? Maybe this is some kind of loophole for Demi Lovato.

  AJ McCarron dropped to the 5th round in the NFL draft because he was a douche in interviews and it turned out none of his teammates actually liked him,…

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January Jones Deleted This #TBT Pic Because It’s ‘Racist’By toddJune 20, 2014
January Jones Deleted This #TBT Pic Because It’s ‘Racist’

 

"Where da white women at?"

 

I guess when you post your first paid modeling gig and its you in a sweater posing with two guys who haven't got their 2014 Miami Heat NBA Champions t-shirts yet, people might think you're being racist. And those people are kinda dumb, because I'm not really sure what's racist about this picture. How about we focus on the real issues here and have a open dialogue about that sweater.

  "Where da white women at?"   I guess when you post your first paid modeling gig and its you in a sweater posing with two guys who haven't got…

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Jennifer Garner Can’t Even With Ben Affleck’s Gambling ProblemBy toddJune 20, 2014
Jennifer Garner Can’t Even With Ben Affleck’s Gambling Problem


Ben Affleck got banned from a casino last month for counting cards or something. He's still gambling apparently.

Affleck, 41, has been seen spotted at Detroit-area casinos when he's off the clock filming as Batman for the upcoming Man of Steel sequel. But though tabloid rumors have buzzed that his gambling hobby is causing strain on his marriage to wife Jennifer Garner, a source close to the family says their relationship is solid. "She never understood his gambling obsession and she doesn't want him to be in the news [for it],” says the source in PEOPLE’s new issue. “[But] she's the most patient wife ever and is still very much in love with Ben."

Kinda weird to think that Aflleck is some kinda degenerate gambler, but he did what you should normally do when your wife/gf doesn't like something: he just threw a bunch of diamonds at the problem and Jennifer is cool now. But if Affleck needs me to talk to somebody in a casino, I can call some people. Lemme start a fire first and find a blanket I don't mind getting burned.

 

Ben Affleck got banned from a casino last month for counting cards or something. He's still gambling apparently. Affleck, 41, has been seen spotted at Detroit-area casinos when he's off…

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NopeBy toddJune 20, 2014
Nope

 

Katy Perry bleached her eyebrows then got a new hairstyle that's generally reserved for chicks who want to get sexed into the Latin Kings. She also got her nails done in Koreatown. Would I still have sex with her? Yes, yes I would. My penis stresses diversity and doesn't subscribe to your racism as long as you're brunette and have blue eyes and a nice ass. We can buy the boobs later after I clear some things from my credit report.

  Katy Perry bleached her eyebrows then got a new hairstyle that's generally reserved for chicks who want to get sexed into the Latin Kings. She also got her nails…

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Amy Jane Brand Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddJune 20, 2014
Amy Jane Brand Says Good Morning, Links

 

 

Netflix needs to stock up on vodka and botox [Dlisted]

The Man Vs. Food dude is a raging douche  [Fishwrapper]

Who wants to see Amber Heard's nipples? Well, everyone (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Justin Bieber knocked up three chicks [The Superficial]

Good lawd Yara Khmidan  [Hollywood Tuna]

Le Michele should always wear this [Popoholic]

Please vote for the other thing Anastasia Ashley does well  [Drunken Stepfather]

Megan Fox's kids will be bored as hell [Celebitchy]

The answer to this question is "no"  [Moe Jackson]

Watching doesn't shrink your brain. Whew. [Film Drunk]

Lindsay says she got a job [Celebslam]

Bras are a joke  [The Chive]

Who wants to see Kim Kardashian's nipples? Kim Kardashian [toofab]

pic source = Instagram

    Netflix needs to stock up on vodka and botox [Dlisted] The Man Vs. Food dude is a raging douche  [Fishwrapper] Who wants to see Amber Heard's nipples? Well,…

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It Has BegunBy toddJune 19, 2014
It Has Begun

 

Taylor Swift got a new cat yesterday. Her name is Olivia Benson and this is Swift's second cat. Her other cat, Meredith, has her own Twitter account. And Taylor Swift writes it like she's Meredith. Can somebody give Taylor Swift an orgasm please? Or let her maybe just look at it? This is getting pretty weird..

  Taylor Swift got a new cat yesterday. Her name is Olivia Benson and this is Swift's second cat. Her other cat, Meredith, has her own Twitter account. And Taylor…

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Lindsay Thinks This Will WorkBy toddMay 18, 2010

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Today is Tuesday. In two days, Lindsay must appear in court in Los Angeles and complete 13 alcohol education classes or she will be arrested and thrown in jail. She has completed 10. Oh, now she’s saying she won’t be able to make it back in time because of the volcanic ash cloud. TMZ reports:

Lindsay is in Cannes to promote her upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic. She must appear in court Thursday for her probation progress report hearing — she’s required to show because she has only completed 10 of the 13 required alcohol ed classes (she snuck in a class last Friday). But sources say she can’t get a flight back to the States because of the volcanic ash from Iceland. Airports all over Europe are jam-packed and it’s impossible to get a seat. Here’s the thing — as we first reported, if Lindsay doesn’t show, the judge will issue a bench warrant for her arrest.

Jesus, can’t we just go ahead and decapitate this skank? She’s in France already, so just have her wave a piece of cake out the window. I realize it’s not as liberal and free thinking as the “Paris of the Middle East” as the saying goes, but something needs to be done. This idiot flew to France two days ago, but now she expects a judge to believe that she can’t leave because Europe is under quarantine because of clouds. Or dinosaurs. Or werewolves. Or a grandfatherly dragon who reads bedtime stories to poor Hispanic kids by a giant oak tree. That or whatever other hallucination you might have when you mix delusion and a confusingly high sense of self-worth in your vodka, you drunk bitch.

Today is Tuesday. In two days, Lindsay must appear in court in Los Angeles and complete 13 alcohol education classes or she will be arrested and thrown in jail. She…

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No ThanksBy toddFebruary 25, 2010

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Lady Gaga posed on the cover of Q Magazine with her hands over tits and a fake penis. OMG, see what she did there?! Like, she’s so edgy and deep!! No, not really. This ugly bitch shouldn’t be on the cover of Dog Fancy or Burn Victim Models Weekly, yet she wants to let everybody know that she a female. She humps everything close by in her videos and all her songs are about how every guy wants to fuck her, yet half the world thinks she’s a dude. I’m not sure if she picked up on that, but that might not be the best compliment.

Lady Gaga posed on the cover of Q Magazine with her hands over tits and a fake penis. OMG, see what she did there?! Like, she’s so edgy and deep!!…

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Nightmare On Elm Street Has A New TrailerBy toddFebruary 25, 2010

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The second trailer for the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street starring the brilliantly creepy Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger hit online today, and if what you see is any indication of the actual movie, wish me luck. There’s a good chance my girlfriend will have her head in my lap for two hours. Thanks Freddy!

The second trailer for the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street starring the brilliantly creepy Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger hit online today, and if what you see…

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