See the full NSFW gallery below if you’re into that sorta thing.
Oh, sweetie. No. Just no.
But someone came along who changed her mind – tech entrepreneur Jared Pobre, 39, who she started dating a few months after splitting from George Clooney last June and married in March. "When you're with the right person, everything changes," the pregnant 34-year-old told the June/July issue of Fit Pregnancy magazine, while showing off her blossoming baby bump on the cover. "Before we met, both Jared and I had told our parents we didn't think we'd ever get married or have kids," the model and former pro wrestler said. "My epiphany happened shortly after Jared and I started dating, and once we both knew, we didn't hesitate. I just knew I was ready and that there's no one else in the world I would want to do this with." In April, Us Weekly confirmed that the couple is expecting a baby girl.
In July of last year, George Clooney told Stacy Keibler over the phone to pack up her shit and move out after she decided to end things because, "She wants to have children and a family someday. She knows where George stands on that." Now, she's on the cover of a magazine telling everyone she's pregnant because she found "the right person". You know, the person that got her knocked up and married her less than a year after she split from Clooney. So when she says, "when you're with the right person, everything changes" she really means, "when I find a rich dude who is willing to impregnate me, I spread that shit quick, because I'm 34 and I really can't go back to wrestling" but feminism frowns on stuff like that.
"Hey girl, I will smolder them. I shall smolder them all."
Ryan Gosling's directorial debut, Lost River, dropped at Cannes this year. You can catch it on Netflix pretty soon under the title, Lost Every Single Award At Cannes.
Last year Only God Forgives, Nicholas Winding Refn's movie starring Ryan Gosling, was booed at Cannes. This year, Gosling, there with his directorial debut Lost River is not doing much better. Lost River stars Mad Men's Christina Hendricks, Agents of SHIELD's Iain De Caestecker, and Doctor Who's Matt Smith as the residents of a broken down city, and though the film drawing comparisons to Refn and David Lynch, it's not exactly receiving a swath of acclaim. Some of the initial tweets from critics were damning. Grantland's Wesley Morris unleashed this particular gut shot: "If a $200 haircut and $900 shades were given lots of money to defecate on Detroit, the result would be Ryan Gosling's directing debut." Variety's Scott Foundas said that it's "a first-rate folie de grandeur. Echoes of Argento, Korine, Lynch, Malick in a tedious allegory of Detroit as ghost town."…The Telegraph's Robbie Collin enumerated Gosling's influences. "The problem is, it’s like everything Ryan Gosling’s seen: David Lynch, Mario Bava, Nicolas Winding Refn, Terence Malick, Gaspar Noé and a splash of David Cronenberg for good measure," he wrote. "But these filmmakers’ ideas and imagery aren’t developed, they’re simply reproduced: think Wikipedia essay rather than love letter." Collin also called the movie "mouth-dryingly lousy."
Man, poor guy. This has to be tough (he reportedly skipped his own film's afterparty). I'm not sure how he'll recover from this. A good way to start would probably be to stare at himself in the mirror.
Katy Perry and Madonna did a photoshoot for V Magazine, and I really don't even know where to start. Oh, wait. Yes I do. 1.) they both have bangs 2.) Madonna is like 70 and they Photoshopped her arms 3.) Katy Perry is wearing something that covers her rack 4.) it's dumb, 5.) hasn't Madonna done this like a thousand times already? We get it. You're "sexual". Now go take your Actvia and knit a sweater, grandma. Tell Miranda Kerr to swap clothes with you on the way out.
About five minutes ago the Internet learned that Katy Perry was dating Diplo (an American DJ, not a type of yogurt), now they already split up because Diplo saw her boobs once and started picking out baby names.
Multiple sources tell In Touch the pair have split after a one-month courtship, and it's because the 35-year-old DJ decided to call things off. “Diplo broke up with her because she does not want to be in a serious relationship. She's doing OK and not too sad about it. They wanted different things," a friend of Katy's tells the mag. "She freaked out when he wanted to introduce her to his parents. She doesn’t want to get married again — at least not anytime soon. “She wants to date and he wanted something much more serious. It was too much, too soon."
Diplo. Dude. We've all been there, but a month? Bro. This chick just got out of a two-year relationship, and you wanted your parents to meet you two at Olive Garden for some breadsticks? C'mon now. She just wanted to show you her boobs and give it up once in a while, but you started making a remix of the Kay Jewelers jingle. Just so we're all clear, you willingly decided to stop seeing Katy Perry's boobs because Katy Perry didn't want your parents to see her face. Do your parents have to meet the chicks you jack off to while watching porn, too? What is your endgame here?
Halle Berry says her baby is sucking the life out of her [Dlisted]
Robert Pattinson doesn't want his picture taken anymore [Fishwrapper]
Kylie Minogue panty upskirt (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Amy Willerton does the Birth of Venus naked [Hollywood Tuna]
Minka Kelly in skin tight jeans [Popoholic]
I would get all of these pictures pregnant [Drunken Stepfather]
Kim Kardashian is complaining about the weather in France [Celebitchy]
Barbara Pavlin in this dress [Moe Jackson]
What if David Lynch didn't turn down Return Of The Jedi [Film Drunk]
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD [Celebslam]
You make it real hard to get out of bed [The Chive]
Luke Perry is topless [toofab]
pic source = Instagram
Man of Steel 2 or Superman vs. Batman now has an official title: Superman V. Batman: Dawn Of Justice. Or SvB: DoJ. I don't know, man. "Dawn Of Justice" kinda sounds like a KKK propoganda film. Is Bruce Wayne even awake at dawn? This makes no sense.
So for the past few days it's apparently a big deal that the Red Hot Chili Peppers didn't perform live at the Super Bowl. Ok, so I'm going to throw my hat into this issue for you right now. Ready? Here it goes. Who gives a shit? They've been a band since 1983 and have been performing this song since 1991. They get a pass. Maybe if Peyton Manning performed live we'd have something else to talk about.
Sean Penn moved in Charlize Theron and wants to marry her and adopt her kid [Dlisted]
Brandi Glanville has HPV [Fishwrapper]
Abigail Clancy love [Hollywood Tuna]
More pics of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow [Popoholic]
Samantha Hoppes is the new Kate Upton [Drunken Stepfather]
Here's the stripper who was nursing Justin Bieber [TMZ]
Olivia Munn is dating Robocop [Lainey Gossip]
George Clooney is kinda racist [Celebitchy]
More Kelly Brook in a bikini [Moe Jackson]
The best of Will Ferrell's Reedit AMA [Film Drunk]
Mila Kunis has looked better [Celebslam]
Philip Seymour Hoffman's dealers got arrested [The Blemish]
pic source = Instagram
I'm not a pharmacist or a doctor (in the United States), but if you wanted to be found dead in your apartment and be mourned by your loved ones because of your inability to overcome your addiction, there are worse ideas than having 72 bags of heroin in your apartment. Again, that's not a misprint. SEVENTY-TWO. Philip Seymour Hoffman had 72 bags of heroin. New York Post reports:
The NYPD hunted for Philip Seymour Hoffman’s drug dealer on Monday to track down the source of the 72 small bags of heroin found in the tragic actor’s Greenwich Village apartment, sources said. Investigators found 49 sealed bags and 23 bags that were open and used. In all, 59 were marked “Ace of Spades” and 13 had the “Ace of Hearts” logo. There were also two charred spoons, syringes and a small amount of cocaine in the $10,000-a-month apartment. Cops also discovered an assortment of prescription pills, including:
- Clonidine hydrochloride, a blood-pressure medication.
- Buprenorphine, an addiction-treatment drug.
- Vyvanse, which is used to treat attention-deficit disorder.
- Hydroxyzine, used to treat anxiety.
- Methocarbamol, a muscle relaxant.
Like, I've been sitting here trying to wrap my mind around what kind of next level junkie would need 72 bags of heroin readily available at any given moment. Do you have to pass some kind of written test and maybe a practical? Was he going to be on the new TLC show Heroin Hoarders? I don't get it. I mean, I didn't want to watch the Super Bowl either, but not that bad. I can't overstate this enough. He had 72 bags of heroin in his apartment. The only brightside is that if you're looking to see Michael Jackson's ghost, this substantially narrows down your search.