Some Kardashians/Jenners Are In CannesBy toddMay 25, 2017
Some Kardashians/Jenners Are In Cannes

 

Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner (and I think one of the Baldwins) are in Cannes for some reason. The last Kardashian movie came out in 2007, so I guess they’re just there to support the latest in cinema. Or be on a yacht. I think they’re just there to be on a yacht. Sounds like fun. I wish I was on a yacht. The news tells me that Kourtney has a new boyfriend or fuck buddy or whatever. That’s neat. Her babies daddy is banging Bella Thorne. Or is trying to bang Bellla Thorne. It remains unclear. Meanwhile, Kendall Jenner remains the hottest thing Ryan Seacrest has ever produced. Not sure where Khloe and Kylie are. I assume Kylie is wrapped in bandages and Khloe hasn’t been fully socialized to be around sea animals.

 

 

  Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner (and I think one of the Baldwins) are in Cannes for some reason. The last Kardashian movie came out in 2007, so I guess…

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Lindsey Morgan Is Probably ‘Batgirl’By toddApril 04, 2017
Lindsey Morgan Is Probably ‘Batgirl’

 

Apparently Lindsey Morgan plays somebody named “Raven Reyes” on The 100? I don’t know, don’t watch it. Anyway, Comic Book Movies speculates she’ll be playing the title role in Joss Whedon’s Batgirl movie. Batgirl is also Commissioner Gordon’s daughter. Man, the resemblance to JK Simmons is almost uncanny. Oh, they based their speculation off a tweet and tweets she likes.

 

 

This might seem like it has no bearing on the Batgirl project, until you look at Morgan’s Twitter page. She recently retweeted Variety’s article breaking the news that Whedon would be directing and writing the project, as well as a tweet advocating for her to play the role. A quick look through her Twitter likes reveals that she has favorited several tweets on the subject as well, even some that don’t directly reference her being cast for the role. While this could look like Morgan is just excited that the film is happening, there are certainly too many coincidences at play for the nerd world to not keep an eye on.

This detective work is almost as good as Batman’s. But why should she get the role you might ask? She has a “following” and she isn’t white.

Given the passionate following that Morgan has accumulated by appearing on The 100, it would be a logical step for Warner Bros. to attach her to a project of this scale. The actress would be enough of a fresh face to help craft a new interpretation of Batgirl – a character that has appeared on the big and small screen for decades. Morgan is also biracial, allowing her to believably be a daughter of the DCEU’s Commissioner Gordon (J.K. Simmons), while bringing some much-appreciated diversity to both Gotham City and the superhero genre as a whole.

Yes, nothing like window dressing diversity by casting a biracial girl in a movie by a white dude and probably an all white crew for a studio ran by white dudes.  Brownwashing can cover a multitude of sins on Twitter.

 

  Apparently Lindsey Morgan plays somebody named “Raven Reyes” on The 100? I don’t know, don’t watch it. Anyway, Comic Book Movies speculates she’ll be playing the title role in…

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Kim Kardashian Went To Some ThingBy toddApril 03, 2017

Since it was great for ratings, I think two more of her sisters were robbed, so Kim Kardashian got to go to the 3rd Annual Los Angeles Fashion Awards as a reward for once again keeping the family name in your mouth. Not really sure what’s up with the dress. If she ever gets robbed again, she can camouflage herself by laying across one of my grandma’s tables.

Since it was great for ratings, I think two more of her sisters were robbed, so Kim Kardashian got to go to the 3rd Annual Los Angeles Fashion Awards as…

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Zendaya Has No Time For Fashion EmergencyBy toddFebruary 25, 2015

E!’s Fashion Police is a culturally relevant and enlightening show where D-list white chicks and a gay guy  attempt to eviscerate women with better careers by simply panning a camera up and down their bodies and questioning their wardrobe choices even though Giuliana Rancic looks like she has a number tattooed on her wrist. So when Zendaya appeared on the 2015 Oscar’s red carpet in a Vivienne Westwood gown and dreadlocks to celebrate her culture, it got a little confusing for the white people. Take it away Rancic:

“I feel that she smells like patchouli oil… or weed. Yeah, maybe weed.”

Oh, I know! Such a harmless joke! Why can’t people who have been constantly stereotyped because of their hair and endure the negative connotations because they choose to wear their hair naturally?! People need to lighten up! Or not. Take it away, Zendaya.

“There is a fine line between what is funny and disrespectful,” she wrote. “Someone said something about my hair at the Oscars that left me in awe. Not because I was relishing in rave outfit reviews, but because I was hit with ignorant slurs and pure disrespect. To say that an 18-year-old young woman with locs must smell of patchouli oil or ‘weed’ is not only a stereotype, but outrageously offensive.” (read full rant here)
 
Immediately, Giuliana Rancic tweeted a whitesplained apology and Kelly Osbourne threatened to leave the show because Zendaya is her friend (even though she didn’t say fuck all on the show after Rancic made her comments). Of course, Osbourne was only feigning offense and would never leave the show, because what the fuck else is she gonna do? Anyway, Zendaya has yet to respond, but to make sure she isn’t seen as an accidental racist, Giuliana Rancic addressed the people of Earth last night.

 

 

Rancic could have replaced all the words in this video with, “oh god plz don’t fire me” and it would have meant the same thing, but if she really wants to smell weed on somebody with dreadlocks, I’d like to invite her to come to Decatur. I can introduce her to all the trust fund white kids who are discovering themselves while talking a lot about organic coffee and dolphin massacres.

 

 

 

E!’s Fashion Police is a culturally relevant and enlightening show where D-list white chicks and a gay guy  attempt to eviscerate women with better careers by simply panning a camera…

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Jamie Dornan Isn’t Doing The Fifty Shades Of Grey SequelsBy toddFebruary 24, 2015

The only reason Fifty Shades of Grey didn’t make Passion Of The Christ numbers is because I assume churches frown upon using their buses to drive horny, sexually oppressed women to the theater who just want to watch the only porn they can. Anyway, the movie sucked and Jamie Dornan won’t be in the other ones.

Jamie Dornan won’t star in a sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey – because his wife doesn’t want him to, it has been claimed. Actress Amelia Warner, who has a 15-month-old daughter with the star, is said to be unhappy with him acting out the explicit sex scenes in the controversial film. And Jamie, from Holywood, Co Down, has been left reeling by a barrage of scathing reviews for the movie adaptation of the risque S&M book.

Now this is real love. Jamie Dornan and his wife saw the movie, then his wife said, “you can put this on me. just say it’s because of me. fuck it.”.

The only reason Fifty Shades of Grey didn’t make Passion Of The Christ numbers is because I assume churches frown upon using their buses to drive horny, sexually oppressed women…

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James Gunn Doesn’t Like You Making Fun Of Superhero MoviesBy toddFebruary 24, 2015

Dan Gilroy won Best First Feature for the fucking awesome Nightcrawler at the Independent Spirit Awards, then used his acceptaance speech to say, “I think are holdouts against a tsunami of superhero movies that have swept over this industry. We have survived and we have thrived and I think that’s true spirit.” That’s cool, Gilroy. But I wish you would have told us more about the time you wrote Reel Steel and The Bourne Legacy. And Tim Burton’s Superman Lives movie that never happened.  Jack Black got in on the fun at the Oscars by doing Jack Black things. Anyway, Guardians Of The Galaxy director, James Gunn, wasn’t happy about it, so he did what any angry mom would do when bully son gets called out at school. He wrote a really long Facebook post about it.

“I didn’t really find the Jack Black superhero jokes offensive, did you guys? It was, like, a joke. I’m not sure if you guys noticed, but the writing on the Oscars didn’t seem to be all that well thought out. As far as Dan Gilroy saying that attendees of the Independent Spirit Awards have survived against a “tsunami of superhero films” – well it seems a bit weird coming from a guy whose wife has acted in two Thor films – really, that seems like you’ve drowned horribly in that tsunami. But I know I just kind of make up stuff as I go along on these awards shows, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Whatever the case, the truth is, popular fare in any medium has always been snubbed by the self-appointed elite. I’ve already won more awards than I ever expected for Guardians. What bothers me slightly is that many people assume because you make big films that you put less love, care, and thought into them then people do who make independent films or who make what are considered more serious Hollywood films. I’ve made B-movies, independent films, children’s movies, horror films, and gigantic spectacles. I find there are plenty of people everywhere making movies for a buck or to feed their own vanity. And then there are people who do what they do because they love story-telling, they love cinema, and they want to add back to the world some of the same magic they’ve taken from the works of others. In all honesty, I do no find a strikingly different percentage of those with integrity and those without working within any of these fields of film. If you think people who make superhero movies are dumb, come out and say we’re dumb. But if you, as an independent filmmaker or a “serious” filmmaker, think you put more love into your characters than the Russo Brothers do Captain America, or Joss Whedon does the Hulk, or I do a talking raccoon, you are simply mistaken.”

Christ. Fucking boo hoo. Like, I really want to like superhero movies, and I know they want to be taken seriously, but Google comic book Captain America then look at Chris Evans in that Party City costume. Google comic Hulk then go look at Mark Ruffalo’s CGI head cut and pasted on Shrek’s body. No matter what theme of the human condition you’re trying to explore, it just doesn’t work when Jennifer Lawrence is covered in blue scales. Sorry. I know you really want it to, but it’s not gonna happen. Hiring actual directors doesn’t really legitimize those movies, it just means Marvel and DC wrote some numbers on a check that nobody could turn down. You walk into a superhero movie and walk out having seen a superhero movie. Your opinions or worldview hasn’t really changed, you just saw some shit get blown up and Robert Downey, Jr. put his great great grandkids through college. Superhero movies exist because they make a tsunami of money. That being said, Guardians of Galaxy and American Sniper were the two best movies about fictional superheros last year. Sorry, that movie where Captain America tried to uncover a political conspiracy with that black guy. You tried.

 

Dan Gilroy won Best First Feature for the fucking awesome Nightcrawler at the Independent Spirit Awards, then used his acceptaance speech to say, “I think are holdouts against a tsunami…
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Christina Aguilera Did A Britney Impression Better Than BritneyBy toddFebruary 24, 2015

It was cool at the Oscars when Lady Gaga sang shit from The Sound Of Music and everybody said, “oh yeah, she can sing. forgot about that”. But you can have your memory wiped and still know that Christina Aguilera can sing better than about 99% of the people who have ever lived on the Earth. That’s just pretty much a fact. That being said, she went on Jimmy Fallon last night and did “random” musical impressions. One was Britney Spears. So if you ever wondered what Britney Spears would sound like if her voice wasn’t computer generated, then you’re in luck.

 

It was cool at the Oscars when Lady Gaga sang shit from The Sound Of Music and everybody said, “oh yeah, she can sing. forgot about that”. But you can…

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Jennifer Lopez Wore This DressBy toddFebruary 24, 2015

Hey, so remember yesterday when I said Jennifer Lopez is 45 and nobody wanted to see her in her Oscar dress? Here’s what she wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. I’m pretty dumb sometimes. We can all admit that.

Hey, so remember yesterday when I said Jennifer Lopez is 45 and nobody wanted to see her in her Oscar dress? Here’s what she wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar…

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Danny Devito Cheated On Rhea PerlmanBy toddOctober 09, 2012



Proving once again that a man only has to be rich, powerful, funny, or any combination those to get an endless supply of hot pussy even though he’s three feet tall, Danny DeVito and his wife of 30 years, Rhea Perlman, are divorcing because DeVito can’t keep it in his pants.
Radar Online
reports

“Danny can be quite the flirt and because of his powerful status in Hollywood, he’s not ashamed to abuse his position and chat-up young, aspiring woman looking to make it in the industry. “Despite his reputation as a lovable, funny guy in movies and on TV, Danny’s actually quite the womanizer. And, like a lot of red-blooded males, if he sees an attractive girl in a coffee shop or walking down the street, he will give her the eye. “After years of turning a blind eye to it, Rhea finally snapped. She had enough of his bad-boy behavior and wanted an end to their marriage. “The break-up has been on the cards for a long time, probably over 10 years, because they haven’t been happy for a long, long time,” the source revealed.

I’d usually take this opportunity to call Danny DeVito a douchebag, but please keep in mind he had sex with Rhea Perlman with 30 years.

Proving once again that a man only has to be rich, powerful, funny, or any combination those to get an endless supply of hot pussy even though he’s three feet…

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Chris Brown Now Wants To Get Back Together With Karrueche TranBy toddOctober 08, 2012



Lat week, Chris Brown released a statement saying that he was single although he went to a Jay-Z concert with Rihanna and banged her in a club bathroom. He also made a video after he got drunk to say he was in love with two women (Rihanna and Karrueche Tran). And since Chris Brown is a bitch, it’s now being reported that he’s calling and texting Karrueche Tran begging her to take him back. Page Six reports:

“Chris has been in constant communication with Karrueche ever since she dumped him,” a source told the gossip site. “She ended it with Chris because he was just blatantly flaunting his dalliances with Rihanna, but now he’s telling how sorry he is, and how much he loves her.” The source continued: “She is just too hurt to even go there at this point. Karrueche just wants a break from all of this drama, and she knows that Chris wants whatever he can’t have. Karrueche thinks Chris has a lot of maturing he needs to do, and she can’t trust him.”

I really have nothing to add to this story other than the fact that “Karrueche Tran” sounds like a Japanese girl with a machine gun arm who fights robots. Karrueche Tran. Say it with me. Karrueche Tran.

Lat week, Chris Brown released a statement saying that he was single although he went to a Jay-Z concert with Rihanna and banged her in a club bathroom. He also…

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