Ryan Lochte Is Somebody’s Father NowBy toddDecember 15, 2016
Ryan Lochte Is Somebody’s Father Now

 

Imagine being a fetus and realizing your father is Ryan Lochte and your mother is a Playboy Playmate Kayla Rae Reid. Do you start using heroin now or what until 7th grade?

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  Imagine being a fetus and realizing your father is Ryan Lochte and your mother is a Playboy Playmate Kayla Rae Reid. Do you start using heroin now or what…

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Alexandra Daddario Says Good AfternoonBy toddJuly 24, 2013

Alexandra Daddario should be in more things that don't cover up in her massive rack, but here she is at a photocall for something called Percy Jackson: Sea Monsters. I think Percy Jackson is Harry Potter's cousin or something. I honestly don't know. But did I mention Alexandra Daddario's rack? I did? What about her eyes? What about how shale is made throught the process of compaction? The fine particles that compose shale can remain suspended in water long after the larger and denser particles of sand have deposited.

Alexandra Daddario should be in more things that don't cover up in her massive rack, but here she is at a photocall for something called Percy Jackson: Sea Monsters. I…

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Miranda Kerr Is A Great MomBy toddJanuary 19, 2011

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On her personal blog (via RadarOnline), Miranda Kerr posted a message to her fans about the birth of her son, Flynn. But most importantly, she posted the banner pic. Fuck that baby.

“On the 6th of January I gave birth to our beautiful little son Flynn. He weighed 9lb 12 ounces (a very healthy and big baby boy). I gave birth to him naturally; without any pain medication and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour, but Orlando was with me the whole time supporting and guiding me through it. I could not have done it without him.”

So to recap, Miranda Kerr has a high tolerance for pain and can still smile and pose while someone is latched on to her tits. Good to know. Hey, anybody know where I can buy some chloroform? Why? Oh, it’s for my glaucoma. Why the twenty questions? Is this some kind of interrogation?! You’re smothering me, man!

On her personal blog (via RadarOnline), Miranda Kerr posted a message to her fans about the birth of her son, Flynn. But most importantly, she posted the banner pic. Fuck…

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Christina Hendricks Is Very Appreciative Of ThingsBy toddJanuary 18, 2011

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You see Christina Hendricks‘ wrist? Nice, right? It wasn’t for long. Why? Oh, that’s because she lost a 124-carat diamond bracelet worth $850,000 that Chopard let her wear to the Golden Globes. No big deal. NY Post reports:

The voluptuous redhead was horrified to find out that after making it up the carpet Sunday at the Beverly Hilton, one of the two bracelets loaned by Chopard had slipped off. Inside the ballroom moments before the show started, the panicked actress asked us, “Have you seen a diamond bracelet? I’ve lost one that looks like this,” pointing at the one glittering bracelet left on her wrist. As the stars were being urged to take their seats, Hendricks — wearing a figure-hugging red gown — then hurried out of the auditorium back onto the red carpet to look for the bauble. But security blocked her as she tried to leave the auditorium, as no one is allowed in or out once the show starts. She begged, “Please let me out, I have to give my diamond bracelet to my publicist!” The guard watched wide-eyed as Hendricks pulled the bracelet out from her ample cleavage. He opened the door a crack and she passed the jewels through to her publicist outside.

Please. I don’t believe this story at all. Tell me NY Post, how did she pull the bracelet from her cleavage without it getting lost in the four Baconators? Huh? Tell me that? If this story ended with Laura Dern checking her stool before the storm approached I might take you a little more seriously.

You see Christina Hendricks‘ wrist? Nice, right? It wasn’t for long. Why? Oh, that’s because she lost a 124-carat diamond bracelet worth $850,000 that Chopard let her wear to the…

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Dolph Lundgren Is A Fancy LadBy toddJanuary 18, 2011

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Even though he could very possibly kick my lungs through my back, Dolph Lundgren left Vila Blanca in Beverly Hills last night dressed like a villain in a John Hughes movie. Did he wear this on a dare? Is he getting picked up in a DeLorean? I don’t get it.

Even though he could very possibly kick my lungs through my back, Dolph Lundgren left Vila Blanca in Beverly Hills last night dressed like a villain in a John Hughes…

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Scarlett Johansson Is Selling MoetBy toddJanuary 18, 2011

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Realizing it would be a good business model to have Scarlett Johansson pose with phallic symbols around her mouth that explode when you shake them, Moet and Chandon have hired Johansson to be the face of their 2011 Moet and Chandon campaign. This news comes hot on the heels of Christina Aguilera being named the face of corndogs. Congrats ladies!

Realizing it would be a good business model to have Scarlett Johansson pose with phallic symbols around her mouth that explode when you shake them, Moet and Chandon have hired…

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Christina Aguilera Looks WonderfulBy toddJanuary 17, 2011

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Christina Aguilera attended the Golden Globes because Burlesque was nominated for something. But I think she attended mostly because she heard they had doughnuts.

Christina Aguilera attended the Golden Globes because Burlesque was nominated for something. But I think she attended mostly because she heard they had doughnuts.

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Joe Mantegna’s Seed Came In SecondBy toddJanuary 17, 2011

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Every year, the Golden Globes has a hot chick on stage who stands perfectly still then shows the people who just won which side to exit on, and they call her Miss Golden Globe. This year, it was Joe Mantegna’s daughter, Gia Mantegna. Please keep in mind that she’s standing between her mother and father in the banner picture. Her mother. And father. I’m not saying her mother got her prenatal vitamins at Hogwarts, but man, Gia sure is pretty isn’t she? How did that happen?

Every year, the Golden Globes has a hot chick on stage who stands perfectly still then shows the people who just won which side to exit on, and they call…
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Hayden Panettiere Is At The BeachBy jessJanuary 16, 2011
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Since her show was canceled and she’s running out of whales to save, Hayden Panettiere has plenty of time to frolic in the waves with Lurch. She looks like a Pee Wee linebacker with daddy issues, but guess what? It’s a slow news day.

Since her show was canceled and she’s running out of whales to save, Hayden Panettiere has plenty of time to frolic in the waves with Lurch. She looks like a…

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JWoww Calls BSBy jessJanuary 16, 2011

You know things have gotten bad when a Jersey Shore castmember says something that makes sense. Can you hear the horses, ’cause here they come! Us Weekly says:

Days after Kim Kardashian denied that she received filler injections in her lower lip, the MTV personality accused the Kourtney and Kim Take New York star of getting a little work done.

“Funny how stars don’t man up to their plastic surgery…I did,” the Jersey Shore star (real name: Jenni Farley) tweeted Thursday. “Blaming it on colds, etc. is just hysterical.”

Quoting her Jersey Shore costar Deena Cortese, JWoww, 24, added: “Get real!” (Heidi Montag, who famously underwent 10 plastic surgeries in one day, later retweeted JWoww’s comment.)

But Kardashian, 30, insists she’s never been shy about fessing up to getting some minor cosmetic enhancements.

“I’ve tried Botox on the show. I’m the first one to talk about anything that I do,” she told Extra on Tuesday. “It really pisses me off that all of these plastic surgery rumors are always linked to me.”

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You know things have gotten bad when a Jersey Shore castmember says something that makes sense. Can you hear the horses, ’cause here they come! Us Weekly says: Days after…

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