There Is No Sex Tape. Maybe.By toddApril 08, 2010

There have been rampant rumors that Sandra Bullock and Jesse James made a sex tape, but Bullock has vehemently denied these claims. No Jesse James is denying it as well. Man, I just don’t know what to believe.

While Bullock denied an Internet report of such a sex tape, James has broadened the denial to also include an online story claiming he’s in at least a dozen sex tapes with other women featuring Nazi-themed paraphernalia. “The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated,” says a rep for James in an exclusive statement to PEOPLE.

Sandra Bullock has always carried herself with class and elegance, so it’s hard to believe that she would make a sex tape with The Cable Guy if he worked on motorcycles and worshiped Hitler. The (more…)

There have been rampant rumors that Sandra Bullock and Jesse James made a sex tape, but Bullock has vehemently denied these claims. No Jesse James is denying it as well….

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You Can Look Like LindsayBy toddApril 08, 2010

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Here’s Lindsay Lohan posing for pictures to promote her fashion line 6126 (That’s Marilyn Monroe’s birthdate in case you were wondering), and it looks pretty good. It’s flattering and functional for the woman on the go when she gets in and out of cars on the corner. I don’t know if she’ll be adding any accessories to her line, but I’m sure the confusingly high self-worth and semen encrusted handbags will be a big hit.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan posing for pictures to promote her fashion line 6126 (That’s Marilyn Monroe’s birthdate in case you were wondering), and it looks pretty good. It’s flattering and functional…

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Ellen Degeneres Hates AmericaBy toddApril 07, 2010

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Some family was on Family Feud (hence the name Family Feud), and they were asked “What is something that everyone knows about Ellen Degeneres. Then the dad answered. I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, but I can’t shake the feeling that his answer might cost him this month’s militia dues.

Some family was on Family Feud (hence the name Family Feud), and they were asked “What is something that everyone knows about Ellen Degeneres. Then the dad answered. I don’t…

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Jenny McCarthy Is SingleBy toddApril 07, 2010

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After dating for five years, Jim Carrey announced last night on Twitter that he and Jenny McCarthy have broken up.

Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best! S’okay! ?;^>

Although not naked, Jenny McCarthy also shared her thoughts on the breakup.

I’ m so grateful for the years Jim and I had together. I will stay committed to Jane and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.

It’s hard to imagine why these two broke up. One possibility is that Jim woke up and realized he was dating a chick who got famous for being naked and making fart jokes who now fights 100 years of medical science and autism research with voodoo and card tricks or whatever the hell she does. I’ve had bigger tits in my mouth before, so I’d be comfortable in laying a crayon trail for her son to a doctor in his network.

After dating for five years, Jim Carrey announced last night on Twitter that he and Jenny McCarthy have broken up. Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m…

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Jesse James Is A Porn StarBy toddApril 06, 2010

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It’s a good thing Jesse James left sex rehab early. His 12 homemade sex tapes aren’t gonna sell themselves, you know.

The tapes Jesse made with other women are shocking. “Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia,” an insider tells RadarOnline.com. “It’s all really quite disturbing.” A source who saw one of the tapes spoke to RadarOnline.com on the condition of anonymity and gave a partial description. “What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute,” the insider said. “It looked like the woman’s hands were bound. “He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then.” Jesse has been linked to four mistresses so far, but as RadarOnline.com was the first to report, he admitted to Sandra that there were seven women total during the course of their marriage. Jesse is desperate to save his marriage, but Sandra is adamant on saving her career and divorcing the serial cheater. RadarOnlne.com has learned that none of the sex tapes are up for sale but that they are also not in a completely secure location. “They could end up being made public just like the photo of Jesse giving the Nazi salute,” the insider said. “There’s no doubt some of these tapes could leak and end up on the Internet.”

Christ. Jesse James could car bomb a daycare or turn into a werewolf in the middle of a mall and it would be the best publicity he’s had all month.

Note: Since IDLYITW is under a strict “No Jesse James Pic” policy, the banner pic is of the good enough to eat, Rosie Jones. And my “good enough to eat”, I mean I would very much like to lick her vagina. Just thought I would clarify.

It’s a good thing Jesse James left sex rehab early. His 12 homemade sex tapes aren’t gonna sell themselves, you know. The tapes Jesse made with other women are shocking….

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Kelly Andrews Is The Big WinnerBy toddApril 06, 2010

Zoo invites you to a Girls' Night In with Kelly Andrews, Hannah Martin, and Tiffany White, but the other two should take their sleeping bags and go home because there's no way to compete with Kelly's perfect (and natural, yes natural) 34FF rack. I only say this because it's true, and I've been talking to Kelly and she's agreed to grant me an interview. Nothing big, just a few questions with sexual innuendo complete with stilted and awkward answers. I'm pretty sure we'll be registered at Crate & Barrel soon. I mean, I did mention her tits, right?


 

 

Zoo invites you to a Girls' Night In with Kelly Andrews, Hannah Martin, and Tiffany White, but the other two should take their sleeping bags and go home because there's…

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Katy Perry Wishes You A Happy EasterBy toddApril 05, 2010
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Katy Perry and her boyfriend attended a Easter party in LA this weekend, and since she’s stacked, she can walk around with bunny ears. To be honest, she could walk around in a viking helmet and vampire teeth and there would still be about 50 guys at this party asking for a tallboy to hide their erections. Thank you, Jesus!!

Katy Perry and her boyfriend attended a Easter party in LA this weekend, and since she’s stacked, she can walk around with bunny ears. To be honest, she could walk…

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Heather Locklear Isn’t Done YetBy toddApril 05, 2010
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Heather Locklear was celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ this weekend by going to Hawaii and getting in a bikini. 48-year old women in bikinis usually isn’t my thing, but that’s until you realize that Heather Locklear is almost 50 and looks better than most of the skanks on this site. The only bad thing is that she’s part Native, so when I ask her if she has any Native American in her, my usual follow up question might cause an awkward pause.

Heather Locklear was celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ this weekend by going to Hawaii and getting in a bikini. 48-year old women in bikinis usually isn’t my…

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Happy Easter Everybody!By toddApril 02, 2010

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I know it’s technically Good Friday, but whatever. While you’re celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus by waiting for a giant bunny rabbit to bring you chocolate eggs, or if you’re celebrating that time God sent angels to slaughter every one of Egypt’s firstborn, but your family got the hookup with the lamb’s blood, I hope you’re doing it safe except really, really drunk. And when you feel like a cat hasn’t just shit your mouth, try do the right thing once in your fucking life and donate some money to a worthy charity. I know it may be hard to do because you might have to start selling meth soon to pay for your medical insurance premiums, but it will make you feel better. But don’t donate to Haiti, though. What, do they want us to do everything for them, is that it? Cavemen had earthquakes and dinosaurs and they didn’t have a telethon. God, Haitians! It’s always take, take, take with you people!

I know it’s technically Good Friday, but whatever. While you’re celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus by waiting for a giant bunny rabbit to bring you chocolate eggs, or…

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