The Internet lost it’s shit this weekend when Amber Rose posted these pics on Instagram, and although I appreciate her comic book proportions, my penis is really small and I’d lose precious inches trying to hit this from the back. Can we maybe go get ice cream instead, Amber? Maybe go for a walk and talk? Did you know that the rain on Venus contains high levels of sulfuric acid? Oh, I know, right? Pretty interesting stuff.
Lady Gaga Fans Want To Kill Perez Hilton [Fishwrapper]
Lady Gaga's White Panties Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Justin Bieber’s Still Trying To Be Michael Jackson [The Superficial]
Olivia Wilde Puts On A Stunningly Sexy Show In NYC [Popoholic]
Hilary Duff’s Booty Is Useful [Hollywood Tuna]
Bo Obama’s Got A New Little Sister [Dlisted]
Alessandra Ambrosio is on vacation (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Amber Heard's Paranoia was a bust at the box office [Lainey Gossip]
Benedict Cumberbatch wants us to focus on Egypt instead of his Sherlock curls [Celebitchy]
Danica Patrick Shows Her Patriotic Tramp Stamp [Moe Jackson]
JJ Abrams and his Bad Robot production company recently released this mysterious teaser [Film Drunk]
Olivia Munn on a homemade swing? What could possibly go wrong? [Celebslam]
The 35 Best Photos From 2013 Seattle Hempfest [COED Magazine]
Ryan Dempster Hits Alex Rodriguez Because Everyone Hates Him [The Blemish]
Meet Robert Pattinson: Unsuccessful Model [Evil Beet Gossip]
Wisconsin High School Defies Order to Stop Using Indians Name [Crave Online]
Chris Brown cancels Canadian concerts [Popbytes]
Get Revenge [MyEx]
After her twerking video, Anastasia Ashley now has my favorite ass on the planet, so thankfully I just discovered her
AsstagramInstagram where she documents my favorite ass. It's nice where there is a place where I can check in to see how it's doing. Hey, it's on surfboard. Hey, look. It's on a bridge. Awww, now it's standing on the beach. We've become so close over this short period of time that I feel like we're friends. Soon to be lovers? Who knows for sure. You can't rush matters of the heart.
Source = Instagram
Now that he's done sexing up Khaleesi, Seth MacFarlane is now dating Ryan Phillippe's baby mama and the dumb chick in Pitch Perfect with the massive rack, Alexis Knapp. Damn, homey. I should really write wedding announcements. E! Online reports:
"It's been going on for a little while. It's very casual but they are hanging out and he is having fun with her," a source exclusively tells E! News about the couple's burgeoning romance. "They've know each other for three years and have been getting closer for over a year," but they've only recently started seeing each other more frequently, the source says. "They always had good chemistry." "Alexis' star is on the rise," adds the insider. "He thinks she's really talented."
The bold part in the blockquote is basically all you need to know about what's going on here, because if a publicist can't even lie about it then MacFarlane is just seeing her naked a few times a week and telling her to be patient. Because he really wants a relationship, but his heart is just too fragile right now. He feels like he can be himself around her and would you like some more wine? Your hair looks very pretty like that did you know that? It really brings out your eyes. You know, then they hump.
Apparently you had to look at Christina Hendricks twice today for a period of time. Not sure what that was about. But the leading theory from my boss is that I'm a moron. He makes some very valid points. He's pretty smart and has great hair. He also surfs I think. Did I mention he has great hair? It's pretty great. They had to stop a meeting once because everybody was complimenting it and nobody could remember the action items from the webinar. So to make up for Double Hendricks, here's Ashley Benson at the 2013 Teen Choice Awards. She could probably also attend the Male 18-100 Choice Awards and still win something. Because people find her very attractive.
If you squint really hard, you can tell that floating red dress is Christina Hendricks walking to some private house party this weekend. Huge boobs aside, she's just a fat, pale mess who dyes her hair red. Probably some dude got an erection while seeing this, but I'm pretty sure at least one person called SyFy to report a ghost sighting.
So yeah, here's Miley Cyrus at the 2013 Teen Choice awards. Like Justin Bieber and every white rapper, Miley's blackface is more subtle that it was 100 years ago and is more inferred. But if CNN said today that we're lynching black people again, Justin Bieber and Riff Raff would be wearing American flag polo shirts and bolo ties when they announced their Freedon Tour with Toby Keith and Lee Greenwood, and Miley would release an album of Amy Grant covers before you finished reading this. In the meantime, it's just Miley being what her record label's image consultants says Miley should be. Enjoy!