Will Smith Is The Genie In Disney’s Live-Action ‘Aladdin’, Is Racist Or SomethingBy toddJuly 17, 2017
Will Smith Is The Genie In Disney’s Live-Action ‘Aladdin’, Is Racist Or Something

 

When we first heard about the casting for Disney’s live-action Aladdin, it was about how they couldn’t find actors to play Aladdin and Jasmine. They finally settled on a Middle Eastern dude and a half-Indian to play Jasmine. Awesome! Two non-white people as the leads in a big budget movie! That’s great, right?! It’s 2017, so of course not lol. Aladdin set in a fictional place in the Middle East so Jasmine being half-Indian is PROBLEMATIC OMG. It’s imperative to cast real Arab actors in a movie live-action remake of a cartoon about a dude and a chick flying on a magic carpet if you want to be truly woke. Think of the children! Anyway, none of that matters, because they might as well cast my Starbucks cup as Aladdin and Jasmine, because Aladdin is gonna be the Will Smith Show.

Disney has officially found its Aladdin, Jasmine, and Genie for the live-action “Aladdin” remake. The three cast members were announced at the D23 Expo on Saturday. The House of Mouse may have been having problems finding its titular Aladdin for the remake of the 1992 animated classic prior to D23 this weekend, but the same cannot be said for Jasmine and Genie. Naomi Scott has officially been cast as Princess Jasmine, while Will Smith will be taking on the Genie. Relative newcomer Mena Massoud has also joined the cast as Aladdin.

Man, I big budget movie that’ll have a wide release that has a brown man, a brown chick, and a black man as the three leads. Let’s pop the champagne for representa—oh wait, no, the movie’s still racist. Everything is racist.

While the prospect of having a person of color star in this film seems enticing, it really is not doing much for us. Aladdin strung together a few generalizations about North Africans, South East and South Asians, and blurred out our distinctions. The movie takes place in the fake city of Agrabah—combining together “Agra,” the historical city in northern India, with “Bah” to make it sound more Middle Eastern, I guess. The lack of specificity and care that went into the story is also the reason it doesn’t matter who the lead of this movie is, as long as he’s vaguely brown and maybe Muslim.

Exactly, that’s all little Arab, Middle Eastern, and Indian girls and boys will be thinking about when they go see this. The actual history of the Middle East and Central Asia instead cheering about all the sick ass carpet flips. If you need  movie to validate your existence, there might be some self-loathing involved there. Sorry you had to hear it this way.

  When we first heard about the casting for Disney’s live-action Aladdin, it was about how they couldn’t find actors to play Aladdin and Jasmine. They finally settled on a…

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Sharon Tate’s Sister Says Jennifer Lawrence Is Too Ugly To Play Sharon TateBy toddJuly 14, 2017
Sharon Tate’s Sister Says Jennifer Lawrence Is Too Ugly To Play Sharon Tate

 

It’s looking more likely that Margot Robbie will be playing Sharon Tate in Quentin Tarantino’s Manson movie, but that didn’t keep Sharon Tate’s sister, Debra Tate, to say what we’re all thinking. Also, LOL.

Margot Robbie has the chops and beauty to play Sharon Tate in a Quentin Tarantino movie about the Manson murders, but Jennifer Lawrence … not so much, at least according to Sharon’s sister. Debra Tate told us if the Sharon role comes down to Margot or Jennifer … Margot’s the clear choice … and it’s not ONLY because of looks. Sounds like an unkind cut, but Debra explained why she’s not taking a shot at J Law.

That’s such a Debra thing to say. You can watch the video of Debra here, or you can look at this picture of Sharon Tate and imagine Margot Robbie doing that until Jennifer Lawrence burns an X in head and kills her.

 

Sharon Tate

 

  It’s looking more likely that Margot Robbie will be playing Sharon Tate in Quentin Tarantino’s Manson movie, but that didn’t keep Sharon Tate’s sister, Debra Tate, to say what…

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Maddie Spears Is A Powerful MutantBy toddFebruary 15, 2017
Maddie Spears Is A Powerful Mutant

 

A week after Jamie Lynn Spears’ daughter, Maddie Spears, flipped an ATV, was found unconscious underwater then spent two days in a coma, she was passing out Valentine’s Day candy at school. I can’t even drink a bottle of wine without being on the couch for the next two days. The next X-Men movie is the one they don’t make, but if they do, Maddie Spears should kill them all off.

 

  A week after Jamie Lynn Spears’ daughter, Maddie Spears, flipped an ATV, was found unconscious underwater then spent two days in a coma, she was passing out Valentine’s Day…

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Dave Chappelle Is What We NeededBy toddNovember 14, 2016
Dave Chappelle Is What We Needed

 

I’ll probably give me dissertation about the election on here eventually, but as of right now, my Facebook filled with the pathetic wailing of white liberals bathed in white guilt who just realized racism and bigotry existed without having to just read about it on Slate. Welcome to the party. They can blame the refs if they want, but racism ain’t why we lost. Sorry. Please stop your internal dialogue. Anyway, Dave Chappelle killed it on SNL in this skit that was drowning in white tears.


And in this skit, where a black man had to tell white people gathered around their laptops in Bushwick that their world isn’t ending.



As far as hateful rhetoric goes, we should bring this back. But probably not any time soon unless you have time to read a 500 word think piece about it.


  I’ll probably give me dissertation about the election on here eventually, but as of right now, my Facebook filled with the pathetic wailing of white liberals bathed in white…

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Emily Ratajkowski Is Great On SnapchatBy toddNovember 14, 2016
Emily Ratajkowski Is Great On Snapchat

 

Snapchat is a wonderful place where dreams come true, and if you didn’t know already, Emily Ratajkowski has one. And if she wants to make a political statement by getting topless, that’s her right as a topless American. I’l stop talking now.

(more…)

  Snapchat is a wonderful place where dreams come true, and if you didn’t know already, Emily Ratajkowski has one. And if she wants to make a political statement by getting…

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Bella Hadid And The Weeknd SplitBy toddNovember 11, 2016
Bella Hadid And The Weeknd Split

 

Bella Hadid (uglier version of this) and The Weeknd have split after a year and a half.  You know, in case you were wondering.

“Their schedules have been too hard to coordinate and he is focusing on finishing and promoting his album,” a source confirms to PEOPLE exclusively. “They still have a great deal of love for one another and will remain friends.” A rep for the Weeknd had no comment. A rep for Hadid did not immediately respond to request for comment.

Sounds pretty generic, so I guess we’re left to draw our own conclusions on why they broke up. Maybe he voted for Trump and she called him a racist. Maybe he said banning the Electoral College would render poor states’ votes meaningless and she flipped her creme brulee in disgust. Never really know with these things.

 

  Bella Hadid (uglier version of this) and The Weeknd have split after a year and a half.  You know, in case you were wondering. “Their schedules have been too…

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Lindsay Lohan Is Talking With Some Weird Ass Accent Now For Some ReasonBy toddNovember 02, 2016
Lindsay Lohan Is Talking With Some Weird Ass Accent Now For Some Reason

 

I have no fucking idea what is going on here, but it’s Lindsay Lohan, so I’m gonna assume drugs. It’s probably drugs. No way it’s not drugs.

 

 

Like, I know what drug it is that makes you compare a Greek nightclub to the Syrian refugee crisis while sounding like Cady Heron talking like a backup Bond girl, but maybe it’s only available in Greece. 

I don’t know, ask your therapist. Just make an appointment, talk about whatever you want it’s okay.

  I have no fucking idea what is going on here, but it’s Lindsay Lohan, so I’m gonna assume drugs. It’s probably drugs. No way it’s not drugs.   #LindsayLohan…

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Abigail Ratchford’s Butt & LinksBy toddNovember 02, 2016

 

These Ariel Winter pics tho  [  Egotastic  ]

Elle Fanning shouldn’t have stood there   (NSFW site)  [  Taxi Driver Movie  ]

Lena Dunham is incapable of joy  [  DrunkenStepfather   ]

Amelia Earhart probably fought a smoke monster  [  Dlisted  ]

The butthole of Jennifer Lopez is #WithHer  [  The Superficial   ]

The 5th reason why you should be watching Westworld  (NSFW)  [  The Nip Slip   ]

Jessica Biel wore these jeans  [  Popoholic   ]

You should know Rachel Cook  [  Hollywood Tuna  ]

Khloe Kardashian with the Halloween fail  [ Cele|bitchy  ]

Some Halloween costumes I missed  [  Moe Jackson   ]

More Abigail Ratchford  [  IDLY  ]

A photo posted by A b i g a i l (@abigailratchford) on Oct 28, 2016 at 11:37am PDT   These Ariel Winter pics tho  [  Egotastic  ] Elle Fanning…

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Ric Flair Said He Banged Halle BerryBy toddOctober 04, 2016
Ric Flair Said He Banged Halle Berry



On an episode of Ric Flair Show, Ric Flair said he banged Halle Berry in Atlanta after she divorced David Justice. 2016 is the greatest.

We reached out to Halle’s camp for comment — and they strongly shut down Flair’s story as bogus. Sources close to Halle expanded … telling us, “There is NO truth to this! Halle has literally never even heard of him let alone met him!!!” We’re told Halle is deeply offended by Flair. One source put it this way … “A man doesn’t get to sexualize and lie about a woman he’s never met to better himself or his name. It’s offensive, demeaning and beyond misogynistic.”

Three things: 1.) Who wouldn’t say they banged Halle Berry in the 90s? 2.) Evidence Halle Berry is Taylor Swift with a more extreme form of psychopathy 3.) I’m from NC, and Ric Flair is a goddamn legend and a national treasure. It’s in our Constitution to believe everything he says. He’s in every commercial.





Imagine being 10 years old and seeing this every weekend on your TV. You’d wanna get coked up and dream of banging Halle Berry.




On an episode of Ric Flair Show, Ric Flair said he banged Halle Berry in Atlanta after she divorced David Justice. 2016 is the greatest. We reached out to Halle’s…

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Emma Watson Is Dating A Tech BroBy toddFebruary 09, 2016
Emma Watson Is Dating A Tech Bro


Emma Watson is dating a guy named Mack Knight who works in Silicon Valley. If you want to know what a guy named Mack Knight who works in Silicon Valley looks like, either close your eyes or click on the link in the below blockquote thingy. Your guess will probably be accurate if you do the first option then the second option last. 

Emma Watson enjoyed a night with her new boyfriend at Broadway’s hottest show while their romance was in its earliest stages, it emerged today. The Harry Potter actress and her tech guru boyfriend went to Hamilton in October with William ‘Mack’ Knight, before their romance went public. Knight, 35, escorted her from the Richard Rodgers Theatre on Broadway to a waiting car after their date. The show, a hip-hop musical about the Founding Fathers, is New York’s biggest hit. This weekend it emerged the couple had been spending time together on vacation in California, where Knight works for a Silicon Valley company.

“This weekend it emerged the couple had been spending time together on vacation in California”. People at the Daily Mail doing anything to show their parents that English degree was worth the money, huh? At least say “emerged from her vagina” or something like that because hopefully that’s what happened. If not, that’s understandable. Refer to his picture for further insight. 


Emma Watson is dating a guy named Mack Knight who works in Silicon Valley. If you want to know what a guy named Mack Knight who works in Silicon Valley…

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