Kim Kardashian Is Completely NakedBy toddOctober 11, 2010

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I learned on Facebook today that if a chick comes out as bi, you’re supposed to ooh and ahh and tell her how wonderful she is and compliment her outstanding courage instead of being insensitive and saying it’s not really a big deal, because apparently a hot, young chick liking to kiss other hot girls is something that you rarely see. Much like dinosaurs or time machines. You know, except for last call or any house party. Anyway, in other attention whore news, here’s Kim Kardashian completely naked in W Magazine. Again, here’s Kim Kardashian’s completely naked ass in W Magazine. You can read more about it here, but in the meantime, I dare you to find an ass bigger than this that doesn’t live in a zoo or is attached to something that doesn’t defend Tokyo from Mothra.

I learned on Facebook today that if a chick comes out as bi, you’re supposed to ooh and ahh and tell her how wonderful she is and compliment her outstanding…

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Lady Gaga Was In An Episode Of The SopranosBy toddOctober 11, 2010


More troubling news from Lady Gaga‘s revisionist history childhood – she was on an episode of The Sopranos when she was 15. The poor thing just couldn’t catch a break back then. I mean from going to a prestigious prep school to being cast on a legendary TV show, it’s no wonder she can fully empathize with the self-important loners who like her music. Whatever. They cast her as a female, so I guess that’s good news.

More troubling news from Lady Gaga‘s revisionist history childhood – she was on an episode of The Sopranos when she was 15. The poor thing just couldn’t catch a break…

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Jessica Alba Needs A New Mirror Pt. 2By toddOctober 11, 2010

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The secret code to enter Jessica Alba‘s vagina was discovered here, so here’s more pics from her GQ shoot to further explain why I really need to pin her knees to her ears and pound her anus like a chicken cutlet. I swear to God, she could be half-eaten by a bear or just crawled out of lava and I’d still need those condoms that numb your penis.

The secret code to enter Jessica Alba‘s vagina was discovered here, so here’s more pics from her GQ shoot to further explain why I really need to pin her knees…

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Somebody Call Child Protective ServicesBy toddOctober 11, 2010

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I have no idea why Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t tethered to the baby stroller, but here she is with her totally not homosexual at all husband Matthew Broderick. Apparently placing your hands on a bar of a stroller and pushing it requires you to pass a rigorous test, because Sarah Jessica Parker looks like an unfrozen caveman who just found a skateboard. She has no idea what she’s doing. They have twins, so I guess the other baby is in the stroller being hurled to her death because her mom’s bridle slipped off. That’s probably for the best, because when your dad looks like a effeminate library science teacher and your mom looks like a Civil War ghost, it might be best to get hit by oncoming traffic.

Note: Sorry for being so sickly. I breastfed until I was four and my father beat me a lot, so I really don’t know what the problem is. Anyway, my stomach still looks like 2Pac’s after a trip to Vegas, but other than that, I’m fine. Thanks for all the comments whining about how I suck for having my gall bladder removed. Those meant a lot and really helped in my recovery. I can see how me getting internal organs removed can really inconvenience you when you’re trying to fuck off at work. My bad.

I have no idea why Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t tethered to the baby stroller, but here she is with her totally not homosexual at all husband Matthew Broderick. Apparently placing…

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Brett Favre Is The New Tiger WoodsBy mollyOctober 10, 2010

Today is Brett Favre’s birthday, but I kind of doubt that his wife woke him up with a bj and a plate of pancakes to celebrate this year. Well I guess since this is Brett Favre we are talking about, waffles would probably be the more appropriate breakfast choice. According to the New York Post:

The gridiron granddaddy, who allegedly sent a flurry of lustful texts to sultry former Gang Green sideline reporter Jennifer Sterger, tried the same pattern with a team masseuse, the woman claims. The married massage therapist, who does not want to be identified by name, was working part-time for the Jets during training camp in 2008 when she caught Favre’s eye. She had been kneading one of the quarterback’s teammates when Favre, being rubbed down by one of her colleagues, shot her a glance, she said. “He was looking at me like I was a hanging slab of meat,” the woman told The Post.
The woman confessed to her husband immediately about the unwanted flurry of attention. But the star quarterback allegedly contacted her the next day — the first in a seamy stream of phone calls, “e-mails and texts from Favre saying, ‘Why don’t you and your friend come over . . . I have all these bad intentions. ” according to her furious husband. “I called Favre back myself,” the hubby said. “I was looking for an apology.” But he didn’t get one. “I feel like this guy tried to screw my [expletive] family,” the husband said. “He’s a [expletive] scumbag.” A Jets source confirmed the two women were among 17 people hired to massage Jets players over two days of their 2008 training camp at Hofstra University. Their names were passed along to the NFL. The revelations come as now-Minnesota Viking signal caller Favre is undergoing a league probe into claims he sent the sultry Sterger — who conducted interviews with celebs and did promotions for the Jets — lewd photos and messages.
Sterger, 26, a Playboy and Maxim pin-up girl who currently works as co-host of the cable sports roundup show “The Daily Line,” gave the gray-haired hurler the cold shoulder and scorned his persistent advances, according to Deadspin.com.
Favre risks being disciplined for personal-conduct violations if the probe finds that he crossed boundaries by trying to charm Sterger, according to a league source.

(more…)

Today is Brett Favre’s birthday, but I kind of doubt that his wife woke him up with a bj and a plate of pancakes to celebrate this year. Well I…

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Kim Kardashian Is WetBy mollyOctober 09, 2010
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According to Usmagazine.com:

After a female fan threw a drink on Kim Kardashian during a boozy night at NYC’s Juliet Supper Club on Thursday, the reality star is sharing her side of the story. “I want to address this because everyone has been asking me if I’m ok after the bar fight last night,” Kim, 29, blogged Friday. “I’m totally fine, guys!”… “A drunk male fan came up to me and asked to take a picture, and I obliged, but his girlfriend, who was also drunk, got a little out of hand,” she explained. “Luckily I had Scott [Disick] and Khloe there to protect me.”

Let’s face it, that drink was going to end up on her anyway. The jealous girl just saved her boyfriend’s kidneys the trouble and time of processing it first. All this seems a little fishy though, doesn’t it? Oh wait, this makes more sense..

“We wanted a fun family night out, but when people see the cameras rolling, they try to get attention,” Kim complained. “I guess that’s what happened when the drunk girl saw that we were filming Kim and Kourtney Take New York.”

Hi Pot? Meet Kettle. But really, she wouldn’t be a Kardashian if she didn’t turn a scripted moment into headline news, because if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s shameless self-promotion. Or using her vagina to provide reparations for slavery. Jury’s still out.

The banner pic is from before the “brawl”, and these are after. God forbid anyone see her without her regular 8 coats of paint.

According to Usmagazine.com: After a female fan threw a drink on Kim Kardashian during a boozy night at NYC’s Juliet Supper Club on Thursday, the reality star is sharing her…

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Paris Hilton As Mommie DearestBy mollyOctober 09, 2010

Paris Hilton may not yet have produced her own demon seed, but the next worst thing is happening.

As RadarOnline.com revealed, the hotel heiress is proving to be a stand-in mother for the daughter of her boyfriend Cy Waits. “I have a new BFF… and we spend time with Shae, who is seven-years-old, every weekend in Las Vegas. Shae is so smart and we love spending time together,” Paris told RadarOnline.com. “We go shopping, I take her to the pet store and to the arcade. We take her to the Circus Circus amusement park. We do normal things.”

Stand-in mother? Where the hell is this child’s actual mother? Having Paris Hilton as a source of influence is basically securing this little girl’s spot on the pole for amateur night at Scores (more…)

Paris Hilton may not yet have produced her own demon seed, but the next worst thing is happening. As RadarOnline.com revealed, the hotel heiress is proving to be a stand-in…

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