Hilary Duff Has Leg PositivityBy toddFebruary 03, 2017

 

Hilary Duff has great legs, so you’re probably wondering why “didn’t always love them”. I guess she didn’t because she outweighs most of the women in LA by like 40 pounds. That’s mostly legs and ass weight. I applaud her for preaching leg positivity, but it is 2017, and I don’t think as a white woman that she understands intersectional leg issues or the all marginalized legless women out there without a Instagram or whatever Twitter and Tumblr will eventually say about this picture. I would list more, but it will all be covered in the think piece written by the POC without legs.

 

I didn’t always love my legs, but as I’ve grown, I’ve learned to love and celebrate myself, just as I am. I began to realize that my legs are STRONG…

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Beyonce Is Pregnant With TwinsBy toddFebruary 01, 2017
Beyonce Is Pregnant With Twins

 

I don’t know why Beyonce wanted to announce she was pregnant with twins in a picture that looks like she’s having a funeral for the twins, but Beyonce announced today that she’s pregnant with twins on the first day of Black History Month. This might be the best start to Black History Month that white girls have had in a while.

 

  I don’t know why Beyonce wanted to announce she was pregnant with twins in a picture that looks like she’s having a funeral for the twins, but Beyonce announced…

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Evan Rachel Wood Is Engaged To A Married Dude In Her BandBy toddFebruary 01, 2017
Evan Rachel Wood Is Engaged To A Married Dude In Her Band

 

Evan Rachel Wood is engaged to Zach Villa. He’s the dude in the banner pic. He looks like he knows what this post is about.

Dolores is getting hitched! Evan Rachel Wood is engaged to her bandmate Zach Villa, her rep confirms exclusively to Us Weekly. Wood, who is now Nashville-based, and Villa met in 2015 when they performed together at a cabaret with a John Hughes (Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club) theme. They launched the musical duo group Rebel and a Basketcase that same year.

Page Six unfortunately had to Twitter egg all over Us Weekly‘s excitement.

Villa is still married to actress and audio-book narrator Amy Landon. Landon was his bandmate in a group called Cylvia. But another source explains, telling us, “Zach has been separated from his ex for quite some time.”

Ah ok, he’s been separated for “quite some time”, so I guess that’s cool or whatever. Anyway, this is one of their music videos. They’re super into the 80s and justifying being engaged when one of them is still married. Congrats to the happy couple.

 

 

 

  Evan Rachel Wood is engaged to Zach Villa. He’s the dude in the banner pic. He looks like he knows what this post is about. Dolores is getting hitched!…

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Johnny Depp Spends $2M A Month, $30K On Just WineBy toddFebruary 01, 2017
Johnny Depp Spends $2M A Month, $30K On Just Wine

 

Now that Johnny Depp’s divorce is final, he has other people trying to take his money, but unfortunately for them, he’ll probably blow it all by this time next month on dumb shit. Depp sued The Management Group last month for breach of contact and misconduct, now they’re pulling all the receipts.

Joel and Robert Mandel claim they and their company did everything within their power to handle Depp’s finances responsibly and repeatedly warned him that he was overspending, according to a cross-complaint filed Tuesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court.  Depp lived an ultra-extravagant lifestyle that often knowingly cost Depp in excess of $2 million per month to maintain, which he simply could not afford,” writes attorney Michael Kump in the cross-complaint. “Depp, and Depp alone, is fully responsible for any financial turmoil he finds himself in today.” Among the examples of excess listed by TMG is $75 million spent on 14 residences, $18 million spent on a luxury yacht and $30,000 per month spent on wine. “Depp also paid over $3 million to blast from a specially-made cannon the ashes of author Hunter Thompson over Aspen, Colorado,” writes Kump.

I’m not gonna sit here and spend somebody else’s money, but “The Management Group” sounds just generic enough to be a money-laundering scheme. I don’t understand how you could spend $30K a month on wine, I spend like $20 on red wine and it makes me want to impregnate the world. Not a good look!

  Now that Johnny Depp’s divorce is final, he has other people trying to take his money, but unfortunately for them, he’ll probably blow it all by this time next month…

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Drake Is Banging Jennifer LopezBy toddDecember 24, 2016

<——– Lotta those

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on



PSA: I’m awake because if Carrie Fisher died, I was gonna post about it. But she’s not dead, so I’m gonna post a story I was gonna post on Tuesday but forgot because somebody brought over burritos. I’m going to post it now. The post is about Drake and Jennifer Lopez. You probably figured that out already though.

Drake and Jennifer Lopez might be more than just friends. A week after the 30-year-old rapper visited Lopez in Las Vegas for her residency return at Planet Hollywood, the two were spotted spending a little time together in Los Angeles on Monday night.  An eyewitness tells ET that Drake and Lopez, 47, stepped out for an intimate dinner at West Hollywood hot spot Delilah. While the two did dine with a small group of friends, the eyewitness says that Drake and J.Lo appeared to be on a date.

I’m not really a fan of Drake’s pussy begging music, but if Jennifer Lopez asks you to bang her, you do it. I had more planned for this post, but it’s Christmas Eve. Make up your own.

 

<——– Lotta those A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Dec 11, 2016 at 3:48am PST PSA: I’m awake because if Carrie Fisher died, I was gonna post about it….

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Justin Bieber Is Very GracefulBy toddDecember 22, 2016

Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year. Why you gotta tease us like that, 2016? We know what you’re capable of, dude. Step your damn game up. Look at all those rocks in these pictures. You can’t give us one subdural hematoma? Fuck you, buddy.

Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year….

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Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom 3By toddDecember 22, 2016

In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duff leaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling what they hell they do in there. Probably some type of strip pilates that’s supposed to benefit Aleppo and shelter dogs or some shit. Whatever it is, it’s not making her ass any smaller. In fact, it’s making it exponentially larger. Maybe this place makes their own dough. No way to be sure until we send an investigative team in. I feel the public needs to know.

In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duff leaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling…

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Jennifer Lawrence & Chris Pratt Promoting ‘Passengers’ (The Other Space Movie)By toddNovember 29, 2016
Jennifer Lawrence & Chris Pratt Promoting ‘Passengers’ (The Other Space Movie)

 

*taps microphone, leans in*

Jennifer Lawrence has been in two good movies, Chris Pratt has been in one.”

 

Now they’re in Paris promoting Passengers, the space movie that isn’t Arrival. I’ve only seen one trailer, but from what I can tell, it’s a movie about one man’s living hell after he’s trapped in outer space with nobody to talk to except Jennifer Lawrence. Not sure if it’s the wax mannequin Jennifer Lawrence that attended this photocall in Paris. Big if true.

 

 

  *taps microphone, leans in* “Jennifer Lawrence has been in two good movies, Chris Pratt has been in one.”   Now they’re in Paris promoting Passengers, the space movie that…

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Mariah Carey And James Packer Already Had A Prenup And It’s InsaneBy toddNovember 02, 2016
Mariah Carey And James Packer Already Had A Prenup And It’s Insane

 

Last week we learned that Mariah Carey was demanding $50M from James Packer even though they were never married and her never even got to hit it. Then she claimed he was abusive and “mentally unstable”.  Here’s something else we just learned: dude really, really, really wanted to marry Mariah Carey. Probably so he could finally seem dem titties. And is also mentally unstable.

The billionaire was clearly itching to tie the knot with Mariah, upset that his people were not moving fast enough to nail down the prenup so he could marry her on March 1st in Bora Bora…Packer’s lawyers were telling him they could not get the prenup signed, sealed and delivered by March 1st. His response … “I don’t know who’s working for who because there are a lot of names I haven’t heard before on this email chain. The people who work for me — message — do as I say or f*** off. I want to get married on March 1st. James.”…Mariah already had a dress, the flowers were ordered and all the flights for the guests were secured.

He seems chill. So what was the hold up with this prenup? GOOD GOD MAN.

Packer’s lawyers clearly felt the prenup was complicated, sending Mariah’s team a 100 page document outlining the specifics. The details in the document are fascinating. Among the many conditions … if Packer gave Mariah a piece of jewelry or anything else, she would have to give it back if they broke up UNLESS he sent her a signed note saying it was a gift.

If you need a 100 pages to explain the specifics of your love, I don’t even think you want to see titties. Seems a bit counterproductive to seeing titties. So why couldn’t they get married at all?

…because Nick Cannon hadn’t signed the divorce docs. Mariah and James knew this, but they were going to call the wedding a “commitment ceremony” and pass themselves off as husband and wife.

Nick Cannon

 

UPDATE: LOL

  Last week we learned that Mariah Carey was demanding $50M from James Packer even though they were never married and her never even got to hit it. Then she…

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Emily Ratajkowski Went To TargetBy toddSeptember 07, 2016
Emily Ratajkowski Went To Target


Nothing says “New York Fashion Week” quite like Target. And nothing says “dead eyes” and “big tits” like Emily Ratajkowski (NSFW).  And nothing says “the Target logo as a metaphor” than this Instagram post from last week. 


 

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on



And nothing says “please stop using quotes its getting annoying” than me ending this post. 


Nothing says “New York Fashion Week” quite like Target. And nothing says “dead eyes” and “big tits” like Emily Ratajkowski (NSFW).  And nothing says “the Target logo as a metaphor” than…

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