His Telephone Is FoundBy toddNovember 04, 2010


For some reason, this song has been in my head all day. Tag! You’re it!

Kim Kardashian released a new single…or has she?! [Celebuzz]
Miley Cyrus seems to be coping well. [The Superficial]
Jordana Brewster in a bikini [Popoholic]
Kelly Brook upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie]
Remember when Gavin Rossdale said he banged a dude? Yeah. [Celebslam]
The 12 types of girls who live on your floor [COED Magazine]
Gemma Ward nipple slip party! [Cityrag]
Scarlett Johansson to play sex addict alien [The Blemish]
Leo DiCaprio is banging Blake Lively [Allie Is Wired]
Ariana Grande really likes pumpkins [Egotastic!]
Charlotte Atkinson is an upgrade over your girlfriend [FHM]
David Beckham wants to be an American citizen [Cele|bitchy]
Candice Swanepoel (more…)

For some reason, this song has been in my head all day. Tag! You’re it! Kim Kardashian released a new single…or has she?! [Celebuzz] Miley Cyrus seems to be coping…

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Demi Lovato Punched This Chick, Hates Snitches, Is CrazyBy toddNovember 04, 2010

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Two days ago, Mickey Mouse zipped up his pants and threw $200 on the nightstand when it was revealed that Disney teen star Demi Lovato checked into rehab for “emotional and physical issues”. As reported, Demi is a cutter, so that explains the physical issues. But what about the “emotional issues”? HOLY SHIT! People reports:

According to sources, the trouble started when Lovato decided to stay out late one night and party with her back-up dancers. When word got back to her tour managers, they decided to take Demi aside and speak to her about her social habits. “Demi reacted badly and perceived that someone on tour had told on her,” says the magazine’s insider. The next day, Lovato confronted the dancer whom she guessed to be the snitch, and there was “a short, physical altercation” — although the fighting was “one-sided.” Apparently, whatever violence Demi inflicted on her friend caused her to wake up and realize she had a problem.

Who was the alleged snitch in Demi’s paranoid mind? Alex Welch. The Alex Welch who is now going to sue her ass. TMZ reports:

Demi Lovato’s decision to seek treatment came after she punched a dancer who appeared on “America’s Best Dance Crew” … TMZ has learned. Sources tell TMZ … Alex Welch was on the receiving end of Demi’s blow. Welch is a backup dancer on the Jonas Brothers Live in Concert Tour. She was also a member of Beat Freaks, which got the runner-up title on season 3 of “America’s Best Dance Crew.” We’re told Welch — who had a pretty nasty shiner from the incident — has been talking to lawyers and is considering legal action. Sources close to Demi say she feels “awful” about her behavior and took personal responsibility for it by leaving the tour and seeking help.

Earlier reports said that Demi was jealous of my beloved Ashley Greene because she is now dating her ex-boyfriend. But here’s the thing, he was never her boyfriend. Joe Jonas was fulfilling a contract with Disney. Showbiz Spy reports:

Sources say the Jonas Brothers rocker was approached by Disney publicists about the possibility of having him and Demi “date” in order to bring in ratings for Camp Rock 2. “Demi had no idea that Joe was just using her,” said one insider, “and when she found out that the whole relationship was “just for show she had a mental breakdown over everything. “She felt everything was a big lie. When Joe and his father told her the truth, she couldn’t deal with anything anymore. “She totally lost it, and nothing was ever the same after that. She didn’t know who to trust or what was real anymore. In all honesty, she loved Joe, and to find out it was all fake, destroyed her.

I was going to write something here, but then I realized I quoted three sources for a post about Demi Lovato. She hasn’t even had her period this long. If she could hurry up and get on Teen Mom that would be great.

Two days ago, Mickey Mouse zipped up his pants and threw $200 on the nightstand when it was revealed that Disney teen star Demi Lovato checked into rehab for “emotional…

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Lil Wayne Is FreeBy toddNovember 04, 2010

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Since New York City is under Nazi regime and only the elite can afford a pack of cigarettes, no citizen is allowed to carry a handgun. So in 2007 when a .40 handgun belonging to his manager was found in a bag a few feet away from Lil Wayne, instead of a misdemeanor, he was sentenced to a year in jail for criminal gun possession. Zero tolerance laws are great! MTV reports:
Lil Wayne was released from the Rikers Island prison facility after serving eight months of a year-long sentence for attempted gun possession. Though a guard told MTV News early Thursday morning that he had to wait another day due to “miscalculated” time, at 8:35 a.m. a spokesperson at Rikers confirmed that Wayne had been discharged….Young Money President Mack Maine stopped by the MTV News offices Wednesday and revealed that Weezy would celebrate his homecoming with a party Sunday at a Miami strip club. According to Maine, Wayne’s musical family plans to “just treat him like a king, like the royalty that he is and make him feel like we really missed him and welcome him back to the family, basically.”

Much like Asian people with a driver’s license and white people with pamphlets, black people with guns scare me. But a fucking year in jail for standing next to a bag that happened to have a gun in it? I don’t know, that seems a little excessive. Lindsay Lohan could be found with handgun in a baby’s mouth next to a bag with yellow cake uranium and still make her two o’clock pedicure.

Since New York City is under Nazi regime and only the elite can afford a pack of cigarettes, no citizen is allowed to carry a handgun. So in 2007 when…

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Sophia Bush Is Katy PerryBy toddNovember 04, 2010

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In my race to post as few Halloween pictures as possible, I manged to miss this picture of Sophia Bush and some dude dressed up like Katy Perry and Russell Brand. Sophia posted this on her official Twitter in between talking about stalkers and gay rights. So in conclusion, if you want me to get behind your message, wearing a tight dress with your tits pushed up is a good way to start a dialogue. With that dialogue being mostly about anal.

In my race to post as few Halloween pictures as possible, I manged to miss this picture of Sophia Bush and some dude dressed up like Katy Perry and Russell…

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AAAAAAHHHH!!!By toddMarch 05, 2009

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I really need to consult the oracle to find out why Cameron Diaz is famous. She can’t act, she’s a well-documented delusional bitch (ex. 1 of 4,200), and she looks like something that just punched out of a grave. Christ, if I saw this walking out of a building I wouldn’t know whether to stab it in the brain or take it to my lab and study it. Why did you come here?! What do you want with us??!!!

I really need to consult the oracle to find out why Cameron Diaz is famous. She can’t act, she’s a well-documented delusional bitch (ex. 1 of 4,200), and she looks…

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O Hai, Links!By daveMarch 05, 2009

Angelina Jolie looks happy and…blonde?… on the Washington D.C. set of Salt [BadandUgly]

Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston insists she’s over Brad, the big fat liar. [ImNotObsessed]

Did you ever want to see some guy stick his tongue in Paris Hilton‘s mouth? If not, I wouldn’t click this disgusting link. [ICYDK]

Lindsay Lohan is selling her NYC apartment. If I can, I’ll try to get some leftover DNA to make my brainless sex-clone. [FatBackMedia]

Michael Jackson is going on tour again, ’cause he’s broke. Why am I not excited? [Gawker]

Julie Ferrier let a nipple fly during the Cesar Awards. Site NSFW [TaxiDriverMovie]

Did Heidi Kulm have some sort of photoshoot with her own panties? And topless fans? WTF? [SocialiteLife]

Rachel Bilson is (more…)

Angelina Jolie looks happy and…blonde?… on the Washington D.C. set of Salt [BadandUgly] Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston insists she’s over Brad, the big fat liar. [ImNotObsessed] Did you ever want to…

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Melissa Theuriau is FriendlyBy toddMarch 02, 2009

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French journalist and news anchor, Melissa Theuriau, was in Miami with her husband, French actor/comedian, Jamel Debbouze, when she decided to give him a blowjob and roll all over him like he was on fire. At least I think she’s giving him a blowjob. It’s possible a snake could have jumped out of the pool and bit his penis. Then Melissa gently laid him back on his chair and sucked the poison out with her ass in the air. Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable explanation for these pictures.

NSFW Topless Update: Click here. You know, if you like boobs. You like boobs, right?

French journalist and news anchor, Melissa Theuriau, was in Miami with her husband, French actor/comedian, Jamel Debbouze, when she decided to give him a blowjob and roll all over him…

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Amanda Bynes is DrunkBy toddMarch 02, 2009

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Amanda Bynes left a club in LA Saturday night, and based on these pictures, we have a lot in common. We have the same phone and ….uh, well that’s about it. But she has kick ass legs. And as it turns out, I like chicks with kick ass legs to wrap them around my neck so I can wear the chick like a bib. Wait, should I put that on my eHarmony profile? I think I should. I need something to make the ladies feel comfortable. Because apparently my job as “Sith apprentice” makes women think I’m too dangerous.

Amanda Bynes left a club in LA Saturday night, and based on these pictures, we have a lot in common. We have the same phone and ….uh, well that’s about…

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Lindsay Lohan is Almost JewishBy toddMarch 01, 2009

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Mel Gibson is so not gonna like this. The Mirror says:

LiLo visited a London synagogue with her DJ girlfriend on Friday. And then she returned to the same place of worship in South Kensington for more yesterday – as Samantha’s official date for the bar mitzvah of her half-brother Joshua Ronson. And Lindsay showed she’s really becoming part of the family by joining in with the post-bar mitzvah lunch in London’s Mandarin Oriental hotel. Lindsay has even made her decision “official” – by updating her Facebook profile to say “I’m converting”. That’s commitment. LiLo and Sam walked into the synagogue arm-in-arm for their first visit on Friday. When an onlooker asked the Hollywood starlet if she was converting, Lindsay revealed: “I’m trying.” The recovering alcoholic, who was brought up Catholic, now faces lessons in the Jewish faith before an official conversion can take place. But it helps that she’s staying at singer Bryan Adams’ house while she’s in London putting the finishing touches to her new album. As well as being close to one of Lindsay’s regular London nightclub hangouts, Boujis, Bry’s place is just a stone’s throw from the synagogue.

Yeah, it’s always good to pick a religion because it’s close to the bar you like. But what other criteria was Lindsay gonna have? It’s not like the cathedral or the mosque down the street were putting flyers on her door for a free dildo giveaway.

Lindsay at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in London:

Picture credit: Splash

Mel Gibson is so not gonna like this. The Mirror says: LiLo visited a London synagogue with her DJ girlfriend on Friday. And then she returned to the same place…

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Rihanna Took Him BackBy toddMarch 01, 2009

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In this jaded world, we sometimes feel that true love doesn’t exist. But look no further friends. Almost three weeks after he did this to her, Rihanna is back together with Chris Brown. Awww, how sweet! This is just like The Notebook except with way more police involvement. Congratulations to the happy couple! People reports:

“They’re together again. They care for each other,” says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean “Diddy” Combs’s homes, on Miami Beach’s Star Island. Adds the source: “While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves.” In its latest issue, PEOPLE reports that Brown called Rihanna on her 21st birthday one week ago. “He called to wish her happy birthday,” a source told the magazine. “They’ve reached out to each other. It’s been mutual.”

I’m never going to understand why a woman would willingly go back to a man who beats her, but whatever. You can pretty much count on Rihanna being in traction soon. Fortunately, all this could be avoided if Chris Brown maintained calm assertive energy as I teach in my new DVD, Clitoris Whisperer. Brimming with invaluable ideas, techniques, and essential tips, why not have the relationship you’ve always wanted? Call today!!

Note: Speaking of O.J. (thanks, #4) I literally had to cut off half of Rihanna’s head for that banner picture.

Diddy’s house on Star Island:

Picture credit: Splash

In this jaded world, we sometimes feel that true love doesn’t exist. But look no further friends. Almost three weeks after he did this to her, Rihanna is back together…

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