Lindsay Lohan Is Trying To Play Ariel In Disney’s ‘The Little Mermaid’ RebootBy toddFebruary 20, 2017
Lindsay Lohan Is Trying To Play Ariel In Disney’s ‘The Little Mermaid’ Reboot

 

Guys. Lindsay Lohan really wants to play Little Mermaid in the live action reboot of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. I don’t know about you, but I need this to happen.

I will sing again, as #ariel #thelittlemermaid @disney approve that #billcondon directs it along with my sister @alianamusic singing the theme song for the soundtrack. also @kgrahamsfb plays Ursula. Simply because, she is the best. take one. @disneystudios

Like we already know this is gonna go to Emma Stone or Chloe Grace Moretz or whatever, but I want to see the version of The Little Mermaid where Ariel chain smokes and converts to Islam and causes a pandemic when she gets a vagina.

 

#thelittlemermaid

A post shared by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on

  Guys. Lindsay Lohan really wants to play Little Mermaid in the live action reboot of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. I don’t know about you, but I need this to…

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Alexis Ren Had Her Named Misspelled For Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent CalendarBy toddDecember 22, 2016
Alexis Ren Had Her Named Misspelled For Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

The daughter of the other Baldwin did the 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar yesterday, since they’re ran out of models and are going through Instagram “models” now because December has a lot of days. Today’s is Alexis Ren. Or “Alexis Renn” as stated in the video here. I assume they’re the same person. Alexis Ren has 7.4M Instagram followers, because a pic of her in a bikini when she was 15 got a lot attention on Tumblr. Can’t really blame Trump for that. Anyway,  “Alexis Renn” did a calendar video where she does ballet with a dudes in bunny suits. I guess they paid her in drugs since they appear to have had a bunch lying around.

 

 

  The daughter of the other Baldwin did the 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar yesterday, since they’re ran out of models and are going through Instagram “models” now because December has…

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Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt SplitBy toddSeptember 20, 2016
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Split


Women who were left for hotter women prior to 2004 and have been kept alive by their seething hatred for Angelina Jolie and their mission to buy multiple tickets to Jennifer Aniston movies can now answer death’s sweet call in peace. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting a divorcing 

Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt … TMZ has learned. Jolie filed legal docs Monday citing irreconcilable differences. She’s asking for physical custody of the couple’s 6 children.  She is asking the judge to give Pitt visitation.  It’s significant …she does not want Brad to have joint physical custody … only joint legal custody. Jolie, who’s being repped by disso queen Laura Wasser, is not asking for spousal support. Jolie lists the date of separation as Sept. 15, 2016.

IS NOTHING SACRED? No, not really. Anyway, she’s trying to keep the kids away from him, so something must have happened. And not asking for spousal support is such a Angelina Jolie baller move. Let’s all take a moment for silent reflection at this time. 


Here’s a young Angelina Jolie in a bikini because this story requires a happy ending. 


Women who were left for hotter women prior to 2004 and have been kept alive by their seething hatred for Angelina Jolie and their mission to buy multiple tickets to…

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Miley Cyrus Is A Brilliant PerformerBy toddJune 26, 2013

While Paula Deen is sweating butter tears for insulting black culture, Miley Cyrus seems to be pretty hijacking black culture for her new image. She told producers on her new album that she wanted songs that "sounded black" and is trying to get a professional twerking license, but she'll always be a Beverly Hillbilly who was born into fame and wealth trying to pretend she's hardcore and edgy. And the best way to do that is to perform with Will.i.am. It's pretty well known that he's feared in the rap community. Remember that time he shot 50 Cent and held Vanilla Ice over that balcony? You just don't mess with that guy.

While Paula Deen is sweating butter tears for insulting black culture, Miley Cyrus seems to be pretty hijacking black culture for her new image. She told producers on her new…

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Paris Hilton Thinks She’s A Singer, AgainBy mollyAugust 01, 2010
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Paris Hilton is in Ibiza on the set of her new music video. Which means she has new music. Oh dear lord, save us all! Are my ears bleeding yet? Also, can I have her life? You know, minus her looks and personality. Even when she’s “working”, it’s one big island party. She looks so carefree for someone with herpes!

Paris Hilton is in Ibiza on the set of her new music video. Which means she has new music. Oh dear lord, save us all! Are my ears bleeding yet?…

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Al Gore Did Not Sexually Harass That WomanBy mollyJuly 31, 2010
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TV Guide reports:

Senior Deputy District Attorney Don Rees cited “contradictory evidence, conflicting witness statements, credibility issues, lack of forensic evidence and denials by Mr. Gore” in a memo to Multnomah County District Attorney Michael Schrunk. According to Rees, Molly Hagerty — the woman who claimed that Gore propositioned her and tried to hug her when she came to his hotel room to give him a massage — failed a polygraph test and would not say if she was paid by a tabloid newspaper for her story. He also said her attorneys were uncooperative.

This masseuse first brought her story to the public eye in 2006 and has been pretty uncooperative in the investigation until recently. I think it was safe to say even four years ago that this would be the outcome. Politicians have secured their reputations as lechers and lotharios since the beginning of politics itself, so it’s no wonder every waitress and secretary from D.C. to L.A. has tried, often successfully, to exploit that fact for personal gain. That being said, even if he didn’t come on to me, I would still want to sue someone after massaging Al Gore. That is one ugly man.

Since the banner picture sent my libido into hibernation, here are some mighty fine fellas to bring it back. You’re welcome ladies:

TV Guide reports: Senior Deputy District Attorney Don Rees cited “contradictory evidence, conflicting witness statements, credibility issues, lack of forensic evidence and denials by Mr. Gore” in a memo to…
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Snooki Was Arrested YesterdayBy mollyJuly 31, 2010
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When your 15 minutes are solely based on your ability to get shitfaced, yeah, I’d say this was inevitable. And not at all for publicity. According to TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell us the Seaside Heights PD busted Snooki moments ago for disorderly conduct. The details of that conduct are unclear. We’re told Snooki — real name Nicole Polizzi — is currently in police custody. Earlier in the day, Snooki was partying on the beach with a beer bong … only she was filling it up with Coca-Cola. We’re told she was also seen at a local bar taking “body shots.”

Okay, I admit I didn’t miss a single episode of the first season of Jersey Shore. I know, I know! But it was for the same reason I would poke at roadkill with a stick when I was little (true story) – I am one fucked up little lady. I mean, you put together a group of half-breeds and half-wits who serve as the poster children for melanoma and ‘roid rage, give them a bottle of Jäger, throw in a couple of Bump-Its, and let the rest play out on it’s own? That’s pure GOLD in my book. But I digress… why the hell would anyone put Coke in a beer bong? To see how fast those empty calories go straight to your thighs? Well done Snooks- you seem to be winning that race.

I wonder how much fan mail this dude gets:

When your 15 minutes are solely based on your ability to get shitfaced, yeah, I’d say this was inevitable. And not at all for publicity. According to TMZ: Law enforcement…

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Hitler Would Be PleasedBy toddJuly 30, 2010

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According to the comments on the Tom Hardy post yesterday, I’m a hateful homophobic who is living a lie as a secret homosexual because I don’t fantasize about other guy’s dongs in my mouth. So while you try to figure out that logic and while I try to avoid looking directly into the projection of the commenters, here is somebody I would actually like to fuck in the ass. Specifically, Jessica Biel at The A-Team premiere in Berlin. I know she doesn’t have a prostate, but I think I’m secure enough in my masculinity to be okay with that.

According to the comments on the Tom Hardy post yesterday, I’m a hateful homophobic who is living a lie as a secret homosexual because I don’t fantasize about other guy’s…

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Lindsay Is A Model PrisonerBy toddJuly 30, 2010

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Lindsay Lohan has been in the Lynwood Correctional Center for nine days, and from Day 1 her and her family having been telling anyone who would listen that she’s Nelson Mandela chained to a car engine in Michael Vick’s backyard being guarded by the SS. Man, I wonder what all this enabling has done for Lindsay? I bet it’s not counterproductive at all. Star Magazine reports:

“The other day Lindsay was freaking out because she wanted another blanket. She kept yelling out, ‘Hello! I asked for a blanket like two hours ago! I’m getting sick!’ It went on for hours.” “My sister told me that Lindsay was complaining about not having any bottled water to drink, and saying that unpurified water makes her sick. But this isn’t some fancy hotel. If inmates want water, they drink good old Los Angeles tap water. “Then she was demanding someone bring her a fan. She said she was going to pass out. Of course she didn’t get it — or the water.

And of course, Dina Lohan thought “jail” meant “day spa”.

“She doesn’t have cell phone privileges, that’s absurd. She doesn’t even have a pillow to sleep on,” Dina told RadarOnline.com exclusively. “I talk to her through glass. There’s a phone and we put her on speaker but I can’t even hug my daughter. She’s treated like a common criminal.”

Look, I don’t want to ruin the surprise for Dina, but her daughter is in JAIL. You don’t get sentenced to 90 for scratching off three sailboats on a lottery ticket or winning the Showcase Showdown, you go to jail because you’re a drunk bitch who can’t handle her blow. Hope that clears everything up!

Lindsay Lohan has been in the Lynwood Correctional Center for nine days, and from Day 1 her and her family having been telling anyone who would listen that she’s Nelson…

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Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler Are The New American Idol JudgesBy toddJuly 30, 2010

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Less than a day after Ellen Degeneres announced she was leaving American Idol after one season, she has been replaced by someone with even less musical talent.

We’ve just learned the backstory of how Ellen DeGeneres bowed out of American Idol and who will be the new judge taking her place. It’s Jennifer Lopez, JENNIFER LOPEZ whose singing and acting career has been on the skids after her recent movie failed at the box office in the spring and she was dropped by her record company Sony Music Epic Records this past winter...As for Ellen Degeneres, we’re told she wanted off the show two months ago and complained that Idol producers “couldn’t control Cowell”, one insider tells us. Least of all Cecile Frot-Coutaz, the CEO of FremantleMedia North America. “Cecile is doing X Factor with Simon, so she’s in his back pocket.” DeGeneres and her reps went in to to see Fox Broadcasting’s Entertainment Chairman Peter Rice and Alternative TV President Mike Darnell and asked to be let out of the year left on her contract. “She’s not comfortable. She’s not happy. It’s not been fun,” Fox was told. But Rice and Darnell responded that, with Cowell leaving, “We can’t let you out now because it would be bad for our franchise. Give us a chance to figure out who we could get.”

So, it will be Randy Jackson, Kara DioGuardi, Jennifer Lopez, and whoever replaces Simon, right? Wrong. Kara DioGuardi just got fired. TMZ reports:

Sources connected with the “American Idol” negotiations tell TMZ Kara DioGuardi has judged her last contestant on “American Idol” — because she’s been fired. We’re told the show will be going back to a three-judge format and assuming all deals are finalized, the judge’s panel will consist of Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler. We’re told the only way Kara could get a reprieve is if the J-Lo deal falls apart — but we’re told that deal is done.

I just feel bad for Perez Hilton. Not really. He’s been tweeting all night literally begging for the job and thinks he and Jessica Simpon would be a better option than Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler. Yeah, because that’s what America wants to see. A guy with cockbreath and sequins offering singing advice while he waits for the fat blonde next to him to finish her Big Gulp and coloring a picture of a bacon cake with hearts around it. If I was Randy Jackson behind the desk with these two, I wouldn’t last five minutes before I set myself on fire.

Less than a day after Ellen Degeneres announced she was leaving American Idol after one season, she has been replaced by someone with even less musical talent. We’ve just learned…

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