Sinead O’Connor Is An IdiotBy jessSeptember 17, 2011

Sinead O’Connor posted a suicidal tweet. Apparently she still has fans, because they freaked out and called the cops. E! Online reports:

This is one of those rare situations in which we wish that a celeb’s Twitter account had been hacked. But no, Sinéad O’Connor was the one tweeting increasingly disturbing thoughts Wednesday night, capping a seemingly suicidal rant off with, “Anyway.. If any1 knows how I can kill myself…Without my kids finding out I did it deliberately pls tell me asa f–kin p.” “Had to go psychiatrist for routine renew prescription etc. She says I’m a bad mum and mental for talking so openly about sex in public,” the Grammy winner typed Wednesday. “So now I wish suicide wud kill me.” “All this s–t we’re not supposed to say. Including suicidal feelings, sex, etc. U just get treated like a crazy person. I want to go…To heaven SO bad. Have for yrs…But I don’t wanna abandon my kids. But if I cud die without them knowing I did it myself I wud. An I know every1 will say I’m a c–t for saying that.. But f–k all this s–t we’re ‘not supposed to say’. I’m so tired. 24 yrs…Of being treated like a crazy person. Can’t manage any more. Badly wish cud die without it ruining my kids lives.”

I don’t know, but if someone tweets publicly about wanting to off herself to stay relevant, maybe she really is a “crazy person,” and maybe her kids are better off without her melodramatic bullshit and guilt trips. And if she wants to know a way to kill herself without them finding out, I’m sure she can find any number of people forced to listen to “Nothing Compares 2 U” who’d be more than willing to help.

Sinead O’Connor posted a suicidal tweet. Apparently she still has fans, because they freaked out and called the cops. E! Online reports: This is one of those rare situations in…

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Salsa Con QuesoBy jessSeptember 17, 2011
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In case you’re wondering how anyone can do cardio for hours and still look like they need to butter their doorways to leave the house, Chaz Bono was photographed outside the Dancing With The Stars rehearsal studio (likely because they called the paparazzi ahead) maintaining his girlish figure by ordering tacos off of a truck. If nothing else, this may explain Bristol Palin.

In case you’re wondering how anyone can do cardio for hours and still look like they need to butter their doorways to leave the house, Chaz Bono was photographed outside…

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Reese Witherspoon Got Hit By A CarBy toddSeptember 08, 2011

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Wanna take a guess if it was a woman driver? That was rhetorical, btw. USA Today reports:

Don’t worry. She’s fine now. But on Wednesday morning at around 11 a.m., as she was out getting some exercise, Reese Witherspooon was struck by a car in Santa Monica. AP reports that the actress was crossing a street and the driver of the vehicle – an 84-year-old woman, who was driving about 20 mph – failed to stop for her. Reese was taken to a local hospital, Capt. Judah Mitchell of the Santa Monica Police Department told Access Hollywood, describing the incident as “minor.” A rep for said in a statement that Reese was “not seriously injured” and was released from the hospital soon after incident. The rep said Reese was “resting comfortably at home.”

They might as well give women licenses to ride dragons or bears, because it can’t be any worse than when you put them behind a wheel of two ton piece of metal that has a vertical pedal on the right. But on the brightside, you can’t put your mascara on while blowing through an intersection when driving a dragon. Dragons have no rearview mirrors.

Wanna take a guess if it was a woman driver? That was rhetorical, btw. USA Today reports: Don’t worry. She’s fine now. But on Wednesday morning at around 11 a.m.,…

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Rihanna Is Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive”By toddSeptember 07, 2011


Whenever I see a video of Rihanna, I fully expect her to be reading Tarot cards or sacrificing a chicken to let me know if I’m gonna get that big promotion or not. “CARLL ME NOW FUR YA FREEE REEDIN’!”, this video should say. I guess what I’m trying to say is that fucking her generally isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.

Whenever I see a video of Rihanna, I fully expect her to be reading Tarot cards or sacrificing a chicken to let me know if I’m gonna get that big…

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Kelly Brook Did The GQ AwardsBy toddSeptember 07, 2011

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The GQ Awards were in London last night and I don’t know why Kelly Brook and her insane rack were invited. I think a guy may have won some award for masturbating.

The GQ Awards were in London last night and I don’t know why Kelly Brook and her insane rack were invited. I think a guy may have won some award…

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Audrina Patridge Is DeformedBy jessSeptember 03, 2011
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Her words. Radar Online says:

Audrina Patridge has a chest deformity which makes her breasts look like they are different sizes, RadarOnline.com can report. The former Hills star – who has appeared in numerous bikini photo shoots – has a problem with her chest bone which affects the appearance of her breasts. When quizzed on whether she’d had breast enhancement surgery, she told iPad news provider The Daily: “I don’t like to talk about that. Well, see I have this chest problem. My bone right here, it’s higher on this side? It’s pectoralis something. So I’ve always struggled with that. You could see they look different sizes all the time.”Audrina admits she gets exasperated with rumours she has had cosmetic surgery and blames her Hills co-star Heidi Montag – who has famously gone under the knife for over 10 procedures, including breast augmentation and a nose job – for the speculation surrounding her appearance. She added: “I always get asked about that because of Heidi and there’s all these rumours and they all say I’ve had, like, six procedures, and I’m, like: ‘Where do you get that?’ Look at the pictures. I fluctuate in weight a lot. And as far as my face, I’ve never had anything done.”

If Audrina’s never had work done on her face, I guess her surgeon took her eyes out of it in order to fix them. Her tits and the canyon between them both stay big whether she loses or gains weight. The only things separating her from Frankenstein’s monster are literacy and a dick.

Her words. Radar Online says: Audrina Patridge has a chest deformity which makes her breasts look like they are different sizes, RadarOnline.com can report. The former Hills star – who…

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Kneel Before CodBy toddSeptember 02, 2011

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Another picture of Henry Cavill on the set of Superman: Man of Steel was leaked today, and I’m not sure I understand this movie now. Aren’t people not supposed to know that Clark Kent is Superman? How do they plan to work around this? Because I’m pretty sure people will be able to see part of his costume when Clark Kent shows up to work in capris.

Another picture of Henry Cavill on the set of Superman: Man of Steel was leaked today, and I’m not sure I understand this movie now. Aren’t people not supposed to…

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Lindsay Wants To Sue Mena Suvari And Dania Ramirez NowBy toddSeptember 02, 2011

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Actresses Dania Ramirez and Mena Suvari made a parody video where they absolutely shred Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, and Nicki Minaj. Guess which one got all butthurt? I bet you’ll never guess. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan says it “pathetic” that Mena Suvari and Dania Ramirez dragged her name into a parody video spotlighting her much-publicized misfortunes. Mena and Dania just released the spoof targeting the likes of Kim Kardashian and, of course, Lindsay. In one scene faux LiLo (Mena) pretends to shop as she stuffs her clothes with jewelry. But Lindsay feels as if Mena and Dania are using her to stay relevant. Lindsay — who is developing a habit of suing people who use her name — has decided she won’t take legal action because she considers their conduct “petty.”

Dania Ramirez and Mena Suvari are actual working actors with five current films in post-production between them, yet in Lindsay’s delusional mind, they’re doing this to “stay relevant”. Lindsay couldn’t get insured to play “Dead Hooker #3” on Law & Order: SVU right now, but it’s only because all these people are so petty. It’s a video of Mena Suvari pretending to be Lindsay and stealing a necklace that’s ruining her image, you know, not the actual time she stole a necklace. It’s Pitbull saying that she’s in jail that’s keeping producers from hiring her, not the actual time she was in jail. I swear, Lindsay would sue an Iraqi war veteran amputee after he fell down because she’d think he was making fun of her.

Actresses Dania Ramirez and Mena Suvari made a parody video where they absolutely shred Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, and Nicki Minaj. Guess which one got all butthurt? I…

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Kris Humphries Is An IngrateBy jessSeptember 01, 2011

Or really, really oblivious. TMZ reports:

In fact, we’re told Kris truly had “no idea” who Ray J was when Kim’s sex tape partner sat next to the NBA star on a recent flight from L.A. to New Orleans. But after a few hours on the plane, Ray J finally approached Kris and said, “Come on, You know who I am … I just want to say congratulations.” Kris reportedly replied, “Oh yeah, yeah I know who you are.” Sources close to Humphries tell us, “Kris really didn’t know who he was” … but once Ray J reminded him, it didn’t matter to him because Kris is simply not bothered by Kim and Ray J’s previous relationship. Sources tell us, “Kris feels that Kim’s past doesn’t affect her present or future … he just doesn’t care.”

Despite his consistently (more…)

Or really, really oblivious. TMZ reports: In fact, we’re told Kris truly had “no idea” who Ray J was when Kim’s sex tape partner sat next to the NBA star…

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