Kirsten Dunst Is PregnantBy toddDecember 13, 2017
Kirsten Dunst Is Pregnant

 

Kirsten Dunst and Meth Damon are having a baby. This is celebrity news that is happening today. I hope it finds you well.

With two close pals expecting, Kirsten Dunst was “in baby mode,” the then-32-year-old confessed to UK’s Red magazine in 2014, adding, “I think 33 is a good age to have your first baby.” Her mid-thirties aren’t bad either. A source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly that the 35-year-old actress and fiancé Jesse Plemons are expecting their first child.

Shout out to the writer of this article who had to research the stuff in that first sentence for what they thought was a solid opening. Or they already knew it because they know a lot of Kirsten Dunst trivia. So yeah, Kirsten Dunst is having a baby. Cool cool.

 

  Kirsten Dunst and Meth Damon are having a baby. This is celebrity news that is happening today. I hope it finds you well. With two close pals expecting, Kirsten Dunst was…

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Karen Gillan Did The ‘Jumanji’ PremiereBy toddDecember 13, 2017
Karen Gillan Did The ‘Jumanji’ Premiere

 

It’s 2017 and nothing should shock you anymore except maybe Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is apparently a good movie. Karen Gillan is in that movie. This is her at the premiere in Hollywood. In spite of being a redhead and so white she’s see through, Karen Gillan is pretty hot. She’s also like 8 feet tall I feel. I thought she was hot before you when I used to watch Dr. Who, so that makes me cooler than you or however that works when people say things like that.

 

  It’s 2017 and nothing should shock you anymore except maybe Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is apparently a good movie. Karen Gillan is in that movie. This is her…
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Barbara Palvin Is Today’s 2017 LOVE Advent CalendarBy toddDecember 12, 2017
Barbara Palvin Is Today’s 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

The only thing I really know about Barbara Palvin is that she may have banged Justin Bieber at some point. Having just admitted that, I don’t think I should continue this post.Please respect my privacy at this time.

 

Here’s Barbara Palvin as Day 12 of your 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar accompanied with pictures of Palvin at an event.

 

  The only thing I really know about Barbara Palvin is that she may have banged Justin Bieber at some point. Having just admitted that, I don’t think I should…

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Mario Batali Allegedly Sexually Assaulted Four WomenBy toddDecember 12, 2017
Mario Batali Allegedly Sexually Assaulted Four Women

 

The Eater is a site I just heard about, because they broke a story about how Mario Batali is (allegedly) an unhinged sexual pervert who sexually assaulted four women that we know about. Here’s his apology”

“I apologize to the people I have mistreated and hurt. Although the identities of most of the individuals mentioned in these stories have not been revealed to me, much of the behavior described does, in fact, match up with ways I have acted. That behavior was wrong and there are no excuses. I take full responsibility and am deeply sorry for any pain, humiliation or discomfort I have caused to my peers, employees, customers, friends and family. I have work to do to try to regain the trust of those I have hurt and disappointed. For this reason, I am going to step away from day-to-day operations of my businesses. We built these restaurants so that our guests could have fun and indulge, but I took that too far in my own behavior. I won’t make that mistake again. I want any place I am associated with to feel comfortable and safe for the people who work or dine there. I know my actions have disappointed many people. The successes I have enjoyed are owned by everyone on my team. The failures are mine alone. To the people who have been at my side during this time — my family, my partners, my employees, my friends, my fans — I am grateful for your support and hopeful that I can regain your respect and trust. I will spend the next period of time trying to do that.”

Wow. An apology that comes across as an apology and an apology that says “yeah, I did it.” That’s refreshing. Four women over the course of 20 years sounds quaint and borderline heroic based on what we’ve learned about sexual assault in 2017, but Batali has to go regardless, obviously. I never watched his show, because I tried once and he was sweating the whole time and that’s not something that makes me want to eat Italian food. Indian food, maybe.

  The Eater is a site I just heard about, because they broke a story about how Mario Batali is (allegedly) an unhinged sexual pervert who sexually assaulted four women…
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Dove Cameron Also Attended The ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ PremiereBy toddDecember 11, 2017
Dove Cameron Also Attended The ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Premiere

 

Dove Cameron has nothing to do with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and that’s fine. I wonder who invited her. That doesn’t really matter, because she’s wearing this dress and sticking her ass out even though she looks like a baby doll that’s supposed to be a sex doll and that’s a little weird. Very confusing. Roy Moore was dig it until he finds out she’s 21. “She can legally drink? Ewww,” he might say.

 

  Dove Cameron has nothing to do with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and that’s fine. I wonder who invited her. That doesn’t really matter, because she’s wearing this dress…

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‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Had A World Premiere Saturday NightBy toddDecember 11, 2017
‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Had A World Premiere Saturday Night

 

It snowed in Atlanta on Friday. And when I say “it snowed”, I mean it pretty much snowed all day Friday and all night. We aren’t prepared for that in the South. I say that because John Boyega was trapped here on Friday, but he eventually made it to the premiere of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Here’s pictures from that premiere. The Last Jedi early reviews are calling this the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back, but they also said that about The Force Awakens (it wasn’t) and Rogue One (it really wasn’t), and they only people the studio invites to these early screenings are Star Wars dorks and people paid to say it was great, so when you watch the movie you can judge for yourself. It might be the greatest Star Wars movie ever, but we really won’t know until Disney makes the 6,378 other Star wars movies they have planned or until people realize the Star Wars franchise is just a cash cow for a consolidated monopoly. Either or.

 

  It snowed in Atlanta on Friday. And when I say “it snowed”, I mean it pretty much snowed all day Friday and all night. We aren’t prepared for that…

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Kourtney Kardashian Had To Get Naked Now Of CourseBy toddDecember 03, 2014

Kris Jenner is trying to squeeze every last bit of use out of the old whores in her stable until Kendall Jenner makes the natural transition to full on porn, so here’s Kourtney Kardashian getting naked even though nobody wants to see it. Because “naked Kardashian” and “pregnancy” are routinely top annual lists of the grossest things in the natural world. I appreciate the fact she has her hand over her vagina in one of the pictures, but she should take my word for it, you really don’t need to guard it. Nobody really wants in. I mean, unless the baby is trying to jump out so it can be stillborn or try to live with another family. These pictures are NSFW for a whole multitude of reasons.

Kris Jenner is trying to squeeze every last bit of use out of the old whores in her stable until Kendall Jenner makes the natural transition to full on porn,…

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Chicks Of The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion ShowBy toddDecember 03, 2014

Victoria’s secret is probably knowing you won’t look good as these models in their bras and lingerie, but they want you buy the stuff anyway, so every year they have a fashion show, and gyms across the world can’t wait for it to air, because they’ll see a spike big ass spike in memberships for people who will sign up the day after it airs then go to the gym for a month then not come again, but they’ll be locked into a 12-month contract. That’s a pretty good business model. These ladies here are also good models.

Victoria’s secret is probably knowing you won’t look good as these models in their bras and lingerie, but they want you buy the stuff anyway, so every year they have…

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Ariana Grande Performed At The 2014 VS Fashion ShowBy toddDecember 03, 2014

I’ll have all the models up later, but first let’s all take a moment to give thanks for Ariana Grande‘s hot ass performing at the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I still wouldn’t be able to recognize one of her songs, but what is the media’s fascination with women’s “songs”? Just another example of the patriarchy forcing unrealistic standards of music and art. Here’s some pictures of her in some tight clothes instead.

I’ll have all the models up later, but first let’s all take a moment to give thanks for Ariana Grande‘s hot ass performing at the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show….

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Taylor Swift Probably Got Jessica Hart Fired From The VS Fashion ShowBy toddDecember 03, 2014

Taylor Swift is all about feminism and girl power, until you know, another girl publicly insults her, then of course, like most women, Swift has zero chill and the girl then becomes Taylor Swift’s sworn enemy who she must destroy and not be satisfied until she drinks her blood from a boot. So let’s flashback to last year when Jessica Hart had this to say about Taylor Swift’s performance during the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

God bless her (Taylor Swift’s) heart. I think she’s great. But I don’t know, to me, she didn’t fit. I don’t know if I should say that.”

Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Actually it does, because anybody who lives in the South understands from an early age that “bless your heart” means “go fuck yourself”, because in the civilized parts of the South, we like to insult you, smile, and walk away without making a big deal out of it and with minimal drama. So everything Jessica Hart said after “God bless her heart”, is hollow and meaningless and should be read as, “Fuck her. Her music sucks and they could have picked somebody who doesn’t suck so much. She really fucking sucks. Sorry, not sorry.”  Enter 2014. The year where Taylor Swift plays the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show again, but Jessica Hart was passed over to be one of the models.

“It’s not been announced that Jessica is not walking, but it was a direct request from Taylor that this be the case if she were to go,” one well-placed Victoria’s Secret insider tells Confidenti@l. “No one can know that Taylor requested Ms. Hart not be in the show. They want to keep that under wraps, but that’s the facts.”

Well, she wasn’t in the show. so there’s that. For all of Swift’s inspirational and feigned feminism, she basically just walks around waiting for someone to say she might not be a fantastic musical goddess, then she fucks with their employment and lives. Sounds about right. Girl power and all that.

 

Taylor Swift is all about feminism and girl power, until you know, another girl publicly insults her, then of course, like most women, Swift has zero chill and the girl…

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