Afternoon Dump – ThursdayBy toddAugust 13, 2015

Ben Affleck is giving The Nanny $10K a month for rent because it’s cheaper to keep her

Jezebel’s idea of great standup comedy is about what you’d expect

Somebody you know possessed? Pour Bill Cosby’s semen on them

Sesame Street is coming to HBO

Obama’s summer reading list doesn’t include the Bible” – Ted Cruz probably

Trump was officially fired from The Apprentice, Amal Clooney might take over

Fuck this shark

Will Smith is rebooting The Fresh Prince

 

 

 

Ben Affleck is giving The Nanny $10K a month for rent because it’s cheaper to keep her Jezebel’s idea of great standup comedy is about what you’d expect Somebody you…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Gavin Rossdale Banged A Playboy Playmate In 2002By toddAugust 13, 2015

This gallery is of Sara Underwood, a former Playboy playmate. I’m not saying this is the Playmate that Gavin Rossdale had sex with while married, I’m saying Sara Underwood is the former Playboy playmate who I would have sex with while married and my wife watched. So, did Gavin Rossdale and Sara Underwood have sex? What I’m saying is that I don’t know. Maybe? I’d like to think so. Anyway, Gavin Rossale apparently banged a Playboy Playmate while he was dating Gwen Stefani.

Now, a mistress has spoken out regarding an alleged 2002 sexual encounter with Rossdale. “He was beautiful and charming,” the woman told In Touch. “He was with Gwen, but that didn’t stop him from hooking up with me.” Citing an “instant attraction,” the woman recalls that she was wearing nothing but lingerie and body glitter when she was introduced to Rossdale by mutual friends. The woman, a Hollywood insider, says that they “spent a lot of time flirting,” and that Rossdale had said that he and Stefani were having relationship problems. “I thought they were breaking up and that I had a chance,” she admitted. The pair then headed to a room with padded floors inside the mansion. “We started fooling around,” she revealed, claiming that the two had oral sex. “Gavin was so gentle and kind.” After the alleged sexcapade, the woman says that she and Rossdale exchanged regular text messages. “I was head over heels in love with him,” she said, adding that she was shocked when he married Stefani a year later – but that he continued to text her for a month after that. “I do feel bad for Gwen,” she said. “He’s just a cheater.”

Here’s a list of every Playboy Playmate of 2002, so feel free to pick your favorite. Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani were married in 2002, and this allegedly happened in 2002. Nickelback also had the #1 song of 2002, so you can’t really blame anyone for what they did during 2002. It was a dark time.

 

 

This gallery is of Sara Underwood, a former Playboy playmate. I’m not saying this is the Playmate that Gavin Rossdale had sex with while married, I’m saying Sara Underwood is…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
#TBT: Rosie JonesBy toddAugust 13, 2015

Hey, remember Rosie Jones? My penis does. Quite fondly. She was the last in my run of “posting every picture of every Page 3 girl I could find” phase. Too bad Page 3 ended. Mostly because some dude’s named Kevin an Mike invented Instagram. Page 3 girls don’t even have to leave the house now. I think the technological advancements we’ve made as a society are pretty great. Shout out to technology.

Hey, remember Rosie Jones? My penis does. Quite fondly. She was the last in my run of “posting every picture of every Page 3 girl I could find” phase. Too…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Ariel Winter Got A Breast ReductionBy toddAugust 13, 2015

The only things I really know about Ariel Winter is that she is/was in Modern Family and had some weird shit going on with her family for a while that I skimmed over when it was happening. Sorry, Ariel. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time that I didn’t read about. But today I learned she’s 5’1″ and had size 32F boobs. Keyword being “had”.

On the morning of June 4—a little more than two months ago—Winter woke up ready to put the physical and emotional pain behind her. Having only told a select few family and friends, the Modern Family star underwent breast reduction surgery to reduce the size of her chest from a 32 F to a 34 D. The result for Winter was noticeable right away. Throughout the course of our exclusive sit-down interview, she mentions frequently that she “feels like a new person.” Winter knows the physical difference is what everyone will be talking about, but it’s the emotional change that’s most evident.

A 32F to a 32D. *pours out entire 40, throws bottle against wall, grabs another one, pours out half* Why have you forsaken me?

The only things I really know about Ariel Winter is that she is/was in Modern Family and had some weird shit going on with her family for a while that…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Okay, It All Makes Sense NowBy toddFebruary 18, 2009
[Gallery not found]

In case you don’t remember, actor Terrence Howard was one of the few celebrities to come out in the defense of Chris Brown (“it’s just life, man“) after her beat Rihanna so bad that she allegedly now needs plastic surgery. I wonder what would make somebody defend a woman beater. Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! The Smoking Gun says:

Police and court records reveal that Howard, 39, was once arrested for a similar crime, the details of which have not been previously reported. The actor, who co-starred in “Iron Man” and was nominated in 2006 for an Academy Award for his role in “Hustle & Flow,” was arrested by Pennsylvania cops in September 2001 for assaulting his estranged wife. According to a Whitemarsh Police Department report, after Howard and Lori McCommas argued on the phone, the actor warned, “Don’t disrespect me by hanging up on me or I’ll come over and hurt you.” McCommas then “hung up and contacted 911 fearing Howard was serious.” While McCommas was speaking with a police dispatcher, Howard “showed up at the victim’s residence and began breaking the door down.” McCommas ran to the rear of the house and into the backyard. Howard then “broke the front door down and ran through the screen door in the kitchen. Howard then grabbed the victim’s left arm and punched her twice with a closed fist in the left side of the face.” The attack was broken up by Howard’s brother, who responded to McCommas’s house after he “saw Howard storm out of their house to go to the victim’s house.”

Wow. It takes a special kind of asshole to tell a woman you’re going to beat her ass then get in your car and drive to her house to beat her ass while the woman is on the phone with the police. Because everybody knows you’re only supposed to hit a woman if she forgets the safe word. Look, I’m sorry, sweetie. I’ll drive you to the hospital and all, but I finding this whole situation to be very unprofessional quite frankly.

Looking for pictures of Terrence Howard isn’t in my contract, so here’s Rihanna and her rack again. How fascinating!

In case you don’t remember, actor Terrence Howard was one of the few celebrities to come out in the defense of Chris Brown (“it’s just life, man“) after her beat…

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Fergie is in MexicoBy toddFebruary 17, 2009

[Gallery not found]

As stated before, Fergie’s body was built for sex, so it’s unclear why God built her face to sit out on your porch during Halloween. Seriously, she looks like she should have snakes for hair. It’s like everything from the neck up was put there by mistake. They only good thing going for her now is that she doesn’t have a tail. Because if she did, I’m pretty sure people would think she was a minotaur.

As stated before, Fergie’s body was built for sex, so it’s unclear why God built her face to sit out on your porch during Halloween. Seriously, she looks like she…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kong and Kim Went To Fashion WeekBy toddFebruary 17, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Kim Kardashian and her beast sister, Khloe, went to New York for Fashion Week, but they should’ve just went to Baby Gap or the Keebler Elve’s tree instead, because good luck trying to find anything that fits, skanks. I don’t know if you can get stretch marks on a dress or not, but let’s just see Kim try to squeeze her gigantic ass into something just worn by a 15 year old Russian model who just drank an suppository and smack smoothie. Kim would make that dress look like David Banner would be wearing it after he woke up in the woods with no recollection of where he is….or what he’s done.

Kim Kardashian and her beast sister, Khloe, went to New York for Fashion Week, but they should’ve just went to Baby Gap or the Keebler Elve’s tree instead, because good…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,