Justin Bieber Is Posting Bible Verses NowBy toddJune 05, 2014

 

Justin Bieber has only been alive for 20 years, but during that time, he's pissed in a mop bucket, screamed at mother and her child who were asking for an autograph, sang a song about niggers and the KKK on video, egged his neighbor's house, charged with reckless driving through his neighborhood, committed vandalism, got busted for a DUI on an expired license, assaulted a limo driver, resisted arrest, impregnated Selena Gomez out of wedlock, and informed police that he smokes weed and takes prescription drugs. But it's important to remember that he's a follower of our lord and savior Jesus Christ and his teachings, and since he got his head dunked underwater one time, everything he's done doesn't matter because he's going to heaven. Why don't you haters understand this?

 

 

  Justin Bieber has only been alive for 20 years, but during that time, he's pissed in a mop bucket, screamed at mother and her child who were asking for…
Tags:
Carmen Electra Still Looks Like ThisBy toddJune 05, 2014

I was kinda under the impression that Carmen Electra was either dead or spending the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai, but apparently she's still alive and could reasonably spend the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai because she's still looking pretty damn hot. And she's 42. It's like my entire world view is crumbling. I'm sorry. I can't type anymore here. I have to go let it all out in my diary.

I was kinda under the impression that Carmen Electra was either dead or spending the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai, but apparently she's still alive and…

Related Posts:

Tags:
This Is Peter Dinklage’s Yearbook PictureBy toddJune 04, 2014
This Is Peter Dinklage’s Yearbook Picture

 

When you're 4'5" and have a mullet, there's not much anybody can tell you (except people who operate fair rides), because you're obviously a rebel who plays by his own rules. I'm not sure what rules those would be, but by looking at this picture, I'm think maybe Dungeons and Dragons?

  When you're 4'5" and have a mullet, there's not much anybody can tell you (except people who operate fair rides), because you're obviously a rebel who plays by his…
Tags:
OkBy toddJune 04, 2014

I guess I have to post about another Kardashian sister today, because after Khloe ate a girl 10 sizes smaller than her, she took her dress then went shopping in South Hampton. I can't tell if this is an ass or a modification made by the scientists who created her to allow her to survive for an extended period of time in the scarcity of the dessert much like a camel. Damn gurrlll I like your humps. Tell me more about the mass of store­d fat in a layer right beneath your skin that allows you to conserve water thereby effectively regulating your body temperature. So hot.

I guess I have to post about another Kardashian sister today, because after Khloe ate a girl 10 sizes smaller than her, she took her dress then went shopping in…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Angelina Jolie Is 39By toddJune 04, 2014

We normally don't celebrate birthdays here at IDLYITW, because birthdays were only mentioned twice in the Bible. One time a bunch of kids under 2 got murdered and the other time Jesus' cousin got decapitated, so logic would dictate that GOD HATES BIRTHDAY PARTIES. But we'll make an exception for one of the most beautiful and flawless women of all time, Angelina Jolie. If you don't agree with that statement, I'm sorry for whatever woman hurt you or that your ugly girlfriend is reading this over your shoulder. Anyway, go click through the pictures and let Angelina take you on the ride of your life. I didn't spend 15 minutes editing these for my health.

We normally don't celebrate birthdays here at IDLYITW, because birthdays were only mentioned twice in the Bible. One time a bunch of kids under 2 got murdered and the other…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Brad Paisley Took A Selfie With The Westboro Baptist Church IdiotsBy toddJune 04, 2014
Brad Paisley Took A Selfie With The Westboro Baptist Church Idiots

 

Apparently Satan roams about soldier's funerals and country music concerts seeking to devour someone a lot, because the Westboro Baptist Church picketed the Brad Paisley concert on Sunday with their purple and bedazzled signs.

Though Brad Paisley's fans came out in droves to his Kansas City, Missouri show on Sunday, June 3, the country crooner decided to take a selfie with a group of people who didn't attend the Cricket Wireless Amphitheater to celebrate his music. Protestors from the Westboro Baptist Church stood outside the concert venue with signs reading "God Hates Drunks," "Sin Breeds Violence," and "God H8s Your Stars." Paisley made his way out there and rounded up the protestors for an unusual selfie. "Westboro Baptist Selfie!! Or west-Burro(ass) selfie. Hopefully they can hear the show out here. We'll play loud," Paisley captioned the photo.

I could take this opportunity to make fun of the Westboro Baptist Church and Christianity in general, but I'm starting to feel sorry for these people. I mean, because when you have to cram your moral, religious, and scientific beliefs into a 1,600 page book that hasn't been updated in a while, I can see how you could paint yourself into a corner and miss a few things. Things like women, basic human biology, and carbon dating. The Bible doesn't allow any room for interpretation, you know, except for when you really want it to, so it's great they can have the best-selling fantasy novel of all time to point at when they expand it's figurative universe to fit their own narrative and agenda. But back to the point, why would you protest a Brad Paisley concert? There's no shitty music in hell, bruh. C'mon, now.

  Apparently Satan roams about soldier's funerals and country music concerts seeking to devour someone a lot, because the Westboro Baptist Church picketed the Brad Paisley concert on Sunday with…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Kourtney Kardashian Is Pregnant With Her Third KidBy toddJune 04, 2014
Kourtney Kardashian Is Pregnant With Her Third Kid

 

Kourtney Kardashian of course had to wait like a good soldier to announce this because it would damage the brand if she took any attention away from Kim and Kanye's new cycle, but she's only a few months along, so there's still time for a new story when Kris Jenner cuts the baby from this womb if she finds out it is a masculine child. The patriarchy is set up in such a way that preteen boys can't pose in bikinis. This causes Kris Jenner great stress.

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again, according to a new report. A little less than two years after she gave birth to daughter Penelope, she is expecting her third child! The father, of course, is her longtime love Scott Disick. "She's only a few months along," one insider says of the mom-to-be, but she's got that glow. "Kourtney looks really pretty. She has a nice flush on her cheeks." "It was planned," the source adds of the child, who'll join brother Mason, 4, and sister Penelope, 23 months. "[Kourtney] wants to have a handful of kids."

While Kim is on her third marriage in 13 years and Khloe is still wondering why her marriage to a crackhead she only knew for 10 days didn't work out, Kourtney and Scott have had the longest relationship of anyone in the family besides Kris Jenner and greed. PLOT TWIST: They's never been married and have zero plans to get married. Mostly because they both realize that marriage is an archaic and kinda creepy institution (prove that you love me by signing this paper here that says if you leave me before you die, I get half your money). Now, they're about to have their third kid without ever having a wedding on E! during sweeps week. Sorry if your mind is blown.

  Kourtney Kardashian of course had to wait like a good soldier to announce this because it would damage the brand if she took any attention away from Kim and…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Jennifer Lopez’s Boyfriend Likes To Sext TranssexualsBy toddJune 03, 2014
Jennifer Lopez’s Boyfriend Likes To Sext Transsexuals

 

Don't be fooled by the cock that I got, I'm still, I'm still on the waiting list at Johns Hopkins and I hope to hear something very soon. Text me when Jennifer leaves.

Jennifer Lopez is ready to dump her boy-toy Casper Smart following further lurid claims that he’s been sexting transsexual models behind her back….But on Monday, thedirty.com hit Lopez, 44, with details of 27-year-old Smart’s second alleged sexting transgression, this time with a transgendered female model named Xristina Marie. A source told us of the growing frustration in the Lopez camp over Smart’s antics: “She’s coming back to The Bronx and the only thing anyone can talk about is her toyboy and the transsexuals.” Another source tells us, “Jennifer is getting tired of all these allegations. She doesn’t need this drama and is ready to move on.” While reps for Lopez declined to comment last night, the second source sniffed, “The focus should be on her work for the foundation and the concert, not Casper Smart." The latest Smart uproar comes after transgender bikini model Sofie Vissa tried to shop a story claiming that she shared intimate Instagram messages with Lopez’s boyfriend, claiming to have screenshots of their alleged chats as well as “naked images of Casper Smart,” according to thedirty.com editor Nik Richie, who first exposed the Anthony Weiner sexting scandal.

So your boyfriend sexting transsexuals is "drama"? I guess that's one way to say it. Another way to say it is that your boyfriend likes women who recently had penises. I know you grabbed the one you don't have in that one video you did, but he wants one that was actually there at some point. That's kinda specific. American Idol needs ratings, so maybe you can get one and do like a big reveal….after these messages. You can cut off and give it Ryan Seacrest, so it's basically a win/win. I don't know. Just something to think about.

  Don't be fooled by the cock that I got, I'm still, I'm still on the waiting list at Johns Hopkins and I hope to hear something very soon. Text…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,